A/N: I don't own anything you recognize.
The last thing Cora had packed for her return to Hogwarts was an envelope. It was of the wizarding world, so she naturally assumed it was of a certain Mr. Black. Nevertheless, the name Remus Lupin was scrawled as the return address. And she saved it.
She sat alone in a cabin on the Hogwarts Express. The platform beyond the glass of the window was filled with frantic-eyed parents pushing loaded trolleys, scrambling children, teenagers who knew too well what to do, and the occasional wire cage holding some creature. The air was abuzz with a smoky haze and the clamor of noises.
"How was your Christmas, then?" said a voice.
Cora turned her gaze from that of the platform and saw Edmund smiling in the cabin doorway. "Edmund!" She returned his smile. "My holiday was just fine, yes. How was yours?"
He shrugged. "Got a jumper." He pulled back his cloak to reveal a burgundy and dark green stitched sweater. "What'd you get?"
She pulled up her cloak sleeve to reveal the watch. "This is my favorite gift I got," she said.
Edmund stepped closer to examine it. "Oh, that's lovely," he said. "I love the bird there. What a nice face."
"Did someone say 'nice face?'" said another voice.
Cora laughed, and Edmund turned towards the doorway. "Oi, Adair. Feeling confident today?" he said.
Adair moved into the cabin and shut the door behind her. "I suppose I am feeling rather good, considering I'll be going to Morocco this summer," she said.
"Morocco?" exclaimed both Cora and Edmund.
Adair nodded excitedly. "My parents surprised me Christmas morning. Isn't that just great?"
"That's going to be so fun, Adair," said Cora.
"You could go on holiday, too, y'know. You're just too busy with your...oh, I don't know, your anti-dark magic business," said Adair.
Cora laughed. "Anti-dark magic business?"
Edmund nodded. "Like the Order," he said.
"It's silly, Cora. To want to be so involved with those things," said Adair, sitting down across from Cora and Edmund.
"Dangerous, too," said Edmund.
"You should be enjoying your summers while you're young!" said Adair.
Cora scoffed. "Oh, you two! Do you honestly believe I would enjoy myself if I wasn't pursuing being an Auror or, yes, joining the Order?"
"Yes," said Adair and Edmund.
Cora shook her head. "Well, I don't. Personally, I can't understand not wanting to get involved in times like these."
"You've seen the halls this year. Practically empty!" said Adair.
"All those people that've left may well have the right idea," said Edmund.
"Not all of them have simply left, Edmund," said Cora.
"Oh, don't be so dark," begged Adair.
"It's true!" said Cora. "These dark forces have to be stopped. And I plan on helping in doing so."
Adair and Edmund shared a degrading, almost pitying, glance, shaking their heads lightly.
"In fact, I've got an unopened letter from Remus Lupin himself," said Cora.
"Well, he's sure a member of your anti-dark magic business," said Adair.
"Yes," said Cora.
"Didn't you write anyone over holiday who isn't involved with your valiant efforts against the Dark Lord?" asked Edmund with a laugh.
Cora chuckled lightly, but thought to herself how the only person she'd really been in contact with was very much not involved with the Order in any way.
"I know we seem harsh, Cora, but we're only joking," said Adair with a chuckle. "We are a bit worried for you, though."
"Don't you worry yourselves," said Cora. "I've always taken good care of myself, haven't I?"
Several cars down, Regulus sat in an aisle seat beside Allen. His eyes were trained on the passing students, watching for the sight of black curls. None such passed.
"Can I see it again?" asked Allen.
"Quiet, Allen," said Regulus. "It's not exactly something I can advertise."
Allen nodded. "You should be able to, though," he said, his voice closer to a whisper now. "It's amazing."
"Yes, well, thank you, Allen," said Regulus. He tugged his sleeve even farther down his wrist.
"Just a few more months," said Allen, shaking his head slowly. "And then you're off into the real world."
Regulus nodded.
"And you'll finally really be one of them!" Allen whispered, pure glee flaming in his scrunched up eyes.
Regulus gave the boy a light smile. He told himself it was good, to be one of them. It was an accomplishment. Ignore what Cora's voice is telling you. Being one of them was right.
Or was that just what he'd been telling himself for years?
The train left the platform, leaving behind the cacophony of voices and animal screeches, and replacing it with the loud hum of the engine, the grinding of wheels against tracks. Regulus leaned his head back against his seat and closed his eyes.
Colors flashed against the black sea of his eyelids. The sky shining in through the windows reflected as a golden, heavy heat on his skin. Reds pulsated across his vision; licking flames of translucent color. A pink stripe slowly etched across, moving out of sight and into the void beyond his eyelids. It was like a wizard sat in his head, sending out spells which moved as if carried on the surface of water by a lazy breeze.
And, of course, she was there among the colors.
Beyond Regulus's mind, Cora physically sat in the corner of her train cabin. Edmund was examining chocolate frog cards; Adair was reading a book which kept asking her to move her fingers from the spine as it was rather ticklish. Cora reached into the bag she had sitting next to her and pulled out Remus's envelope. The parchment inside was folded perfectly.
Cora,
How lovely to hear from you. The whole gang says hello, especially Lily. I hope your holiday was well. And now I must ask that you keep our correspondence secret before I continue on.
Cora turned the letter closer to her at this sentence, then read on.
The Order is gaining members. You'll be out of Hogwarts in a matter of months. There is nothing I'd love more than to have such a talented witch as you to join. I know of your aspirations to become an Auror. I believe that having an Auror on the Order will be incredibly valuable. Please, consider yourself a member, Cora. I've spoken to the others. Right when you get out of school, you'll be able to come to the meetings. Until then, I will try and keep you as updated as possible. I'm so glad to have you on the team.
Sincerely,
Remus Lupin
Her eyes focused on the floor of the cabin. It shook, but her body felt as still as a stone. She was a member of the Order of the Phoenix. She was in.
The letter seemed to fold itself back into the envelope.
"Please remove your fingers from my spine! Must I ask again?" said Adair's book.
Edmund tilted a chocolate frog card towards the sun reflecting off the window's glass.
A group of students with green ties walked past the cabin door.
"I'm going for a walk," said Cora.
The hallway was inhabited by only a few straggling students. She wanted to grab each one of them by the collars and tell them how she - she - was a member of the Order. And yet, she wanted to hold her letter to her chest, alone, and keep it as her own private knowledge forever. Her own secret.
Secrets, thought Regulus. Secrets had never been a problem of his, at least not among his family or colleagues. But now, the idea of his mind being completely open for any of them to see, to walk through, was petrifying.
"Occlumency is the key to getting to your enemy," hissed Barty. "Imagine the power you'd have."
"Knowing the things they keep hidden in their own minds," agreed Jungston.
Regulus, wearing his school sweater over a white button-up, was surrounded by the boys at a table, and the conversation had been centered around the mystical magic of occlumency for at least fifteen minutes. He hadn't said a word.
"Imagine the torture you could cause someone," hissed Barty. "Just through knowing what they keep secret."
Jungston laughed.
Regulus rested his elbow on the table, rubbing his thumb into the crook of his pointer finger. If they could see inside his mind, he'd be absolutely dead. Suddenly he became very aware of the weight of the watch in his pocket.
The sliding of the door to the section cut through the hum of students' voices. Regulus glanced up absentmindedly around Allen. And then his thumb paused against his finger.
Cora stopped herself abruptly in the doorway, meeting his eyes. His hand was poised in the air, his elbow on the table, and his face frozen. The boys around him took no notice of his stare.
She stared right back. She hadn't planned in the slightest to run into him; his face struck her the moment she had opened the sliding door. She gave a slow nod before stepping back out of the doorway and shutting the door.
Regulus coughed. "Lads, I'm going to take a short walk. It's tight in here," he said. He slid out of his seat after Allen stood. He slipped his hands into his pockets, strolling casually to the sliding door. He closed it behind him.
She was there, just as she had been on the cliffs. In the hospital wing. In the courtyard.
"Hi," she said, and she smiled.
"Hi," he said, and he smiled.
Both smiles were shy, reluctant.
"Should we go somewhere?" asked Regulus, his voice low.
"Surely there's an empty cabin somewhere," said Cora.
They started down the hall before Cora held out her arm. "Wait," she said.
"Are your friends in there?" said Regulus, nodding towards a door.
Cora paused, then nodded. "It's not that I'm embarrassed to be seen with you, or anything, I just-,"
Regulus smiled. "I know," he said. "There was a cabin not too far back that just had one kid in it." He turned, walked a bit, and knocked on a door.
"What is it," said the student inside, although it was hardly said like a question.
"We need this cabin," said Regulus as Cora stepped into sight.
The student raised one eyebrow. "Okay…" he said, stepping around the pair. He watched them as he started down the hall.
"Alright then," began Regulus, stepping aside to let Cora in first. He shut the door behind them.
Cora coughed, standing in the middle of the cabin. Barren, cold fields blurred past in the window. She turned towards Regulus. "Good to see you again," she said quietly.
He nodded, watching her.
The drone of the train moving on the track filled the quiet.
"You know, it's strange, to prefer being with you," he said. "As rude as that sounds."
She laughed. "No, no, I understand," she said. "I, um, I thought of those cliffs often, after we left."
A wave seemed to pass over his face, and his lips turned upwards. "Me too," he said, his voice nearing a whisper. He hesitated. "Cora, I hope you don't mind me asking, but...what exactly are we doing?"
Cora smiled, her tongue peeking through her teeth. "I have no idea," she said, shaking her head slowly.
"It seems as though every time we meet, I feel more and more like, like you're the only person I can trust. Quite backwards, really," said Regulus.
Cora nodded, her lips still smiling.
Regulus's smile began to wane. "If...if I'm going to trust you, then...then there's something I should, perhaps, show you," he said, looking down at the ground.
Cora's smile faded as well. "You can show me," she said quietly, watching him carefully.
Regulus stood still. Without taking his gaze from the floor, he reached to his sleeve and began rolling it. He pushed the two layers up to his elbow, and turned his forearm upwards. "There," he said, as though the word was sick, being pushed over a rock in his throat.
Cora's nostrils flared and her eyebrows tilted downwards. His pale skin was mutilated by the crude, serpentine skull. She knew of its origins. "You didn't," she whispered.
"I had no choice," he said, his voice rocky. "It was a Christmas present." He clenched his teeth.
"So you're one of them now?" she asked. "One of his followers?"
"I...yes," said Regulus.
"I guess my real question is, do you wish to be?" asked Cora. She was surprised at herself; she was holding back tears.
Regulus paused. "I don't know," he said.
The hum of the train filled the quiet again.
"That's okay," said Cora. "It's okay to not know."
"But I always knew, for so long," said Regulus. "Having this mark was my ultimate goal. And now I hide it."
"Right now all you have to know is what your heart is telling you," whispered Cora.
His eyes bored into her own. "It's being pulled two ways," he whispered in return.
She felt her stomach plummet. His gaze, so telling, so deep, pulling her into him. And yet they stood apart. For the first time, or perhaps just the first time she admitted it to herself, she wanted to feel his kiss.
There were voices outside, down the hall. Regulus pulled his sleeve back down to his wrist, turning from Cora. "I should get back to the table," he said quietly.
"I should get back to Adair and Edmund," said Cora.
Regulus turned back to her, and they watched each other. The cliffs. Both wanted to be back on the cliffs.
"Nice walk?" asked Adair when Cora closed their cabin door behind her.
Cora nodded, sitting back down in between her bag and the wall. "As good as a walk up and down a train corridor can be."
"We're nearly there, surely," said Edmund, gazing out the window.
Cora pressed the back of her head into the wall, pushing towards where she knew Regulus sat. He was one of them - a Death Eater, as they were called. She shouldn't let herself care; she should run from him as fast as she could. She suddenly became very aware of the weight of the letter from Remus in her pocket.