Anna got out of bed and walked skittishly towards the bathroom. Luc had left the previous evening and she had been excited about the following morning's activities as soon as the last few days trauma and her brother were on their way out of town. She glanced up into the mirror and caught the smile on her face. After all the pain she'd had to face during the last few days; not to mention the last twenty nine years, she was now relishing any little bit of happiness she could hold onto.
Hastily she showered and fixed her hair up, with damp ringlets of auburn hair sweeping down over her unblemished pale complexion. Her eyes seemed to be shining with a sparkle that she hadn't ever seen there before. She applied a little make-up, very liberally, so as not to draw attention to herself; and a dab of spicy scented perfume behind her ears and gently stroked the remnants down between her generous cleavage. She wore her second best underwear; not wanting to seem too overt in her intentions. The blood red lace and silk gently held her curves and drew attention to just the right places; though she didn't expect such simple things to be needed for Denver to notice her.
Wearing a dark red silk blouse and a slim, russet, A-line skirt with inch high heels, she left the apartment. The car was short on gas and she sighed at the inconvenience of having to take time out of her visit. She threw the brown leather coat and the almost matching battered briefcase over the passenger seat and started the engine.
It was a laborious journey and she hadn't planned for the mid morning rush of traffic on the main street down towards the maximum security prison. The whole journey was accompanied by many weary sighs and the only peace came when she finally pulled into the car park and walked up to the reception entrance.
"Good morning, Dr Darwin." Fred said with a certain vexation in his voice. Anna looked a little concerned as he stood by and waited for her to be searched by Ms McIntyre, as usual. Anna knew not to try and make conversation about her client in front of the middle aged woman by now. It generally caused nothing but trouble, and at best a barrage of mutterings about how 'Bayliss was better off dead'. This was not what Anna needed to hear right now, and she was sure that Ms McIntyre would not really appreciate hearing how Anna had made an in-way to getting Denver's sentence significantly reduced either.
"What's the matter Fred? Is there something I should know about?" Anna asked as they made their way down to the usual visiting room. Denver had already been taken down to the room by Waylon and Fred saw him sitting anxiously in his metal chair.
"I think it's probably best you hear it from Bayliss yourself, Dr Darwin." This immediately put her on edge; as out of all the officers and guards she had met while visiting the place, only Fred called Denver by his Christian name. His dropping of this usual convention made her nervous.
Denver stood up as she entered the room and after meeting her eyes for just a moment, he dropped his glare back to the floor and muttered 'good morning' to her as they both sat down. When Fred and Waylon had left the room, she leaned across the table and patted Denver's hand, which rested awkwardly on the edge of the table between them.
"Fred seemed a bit odd this morning, what's been going on Denver?" she said making his stomach twist into sickening knots. How could he tell her what he had done? She believed in him, she was the only one who did. How could he have failed her so terribly? He didn't know where to start. He felt defensive although he knew that his behaviour the previous day was reprehensible.
"Did you tell my sister to come here?" he asked glancing up at Anna for just the shortest of moments. She shook her head. Although she had told Lil, she would ask Denver for permission to visit; she had completely forgotten to get back to her with his negative response.
"I'm sorry Denver; I have been really busy the last few days and…" He felt angry, not because she had let him down but because he was jealous as hell of the boyfriend he believed she had been so busy with, the last few days.
"I guess I'm not important enough for you to actually pay attention to my wishes, am I?" he snapped. "Don't worry, I don't mind if you want to spend the rest of my life enjoying yourself with your boyfriend!"
That really hurt Anna, and she thought twice about staying to tell him her good news for a moment. She definitely reconsidered telling him how she felt about him. That said she had no choice but to put him straight. After all he had done for her, unknowingly or not; she owed him the truth.
"Denver, that's bullshit!" She retorted just as angrily as him, if not more so. "I didn't have time to call Lil about the visit because I had personal business to deal with. I had some family issues that…" No, why should she let him in when he had snapped at her that way?
She met his eyes then and he didn't look away this time. It was difficult to see if he was looking at her with awe or anger. She was in no doubt that she had always had the ability to bring him down a peg or two and somehow, although the control did nothing for her, she liked to know that he wasn't as macho as he pretended to be with everyone else. She liked that she had the power to make him weak for her and she had begun to realise that he quite liked the feeling too.
"As for a boyfriend, I don't know where you got that idea. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in my life… if you want to know who I've been with for the last few days then I don't mind telling you, that it was my little brother. He came over to see me because my father is dying and wanted to see me…"
Denver's face dropped. She was talking in a frustrated haste and he realised that she probably didn't mean to tell him all this stuff. Normally he'd jump on any personal information about one of his visitors and make that person pay for being so candid with him, by tearing them to shreds. Now he just wanted to stop her from spouting all this stuff at him without consideration. He knew that it was some of her deepest fears she was talking about and he also knew that those sorts of things didn't come out easily…
"Anna, I'm so sorry." He said quickly interrupting. "Hell, I never meant to… you don't have to tell me this…"
"Who else would I tell?" she said surprising him again. He had no answer, so she continued. "My father wants me to forgive him… before he dies… he wants my forgiveness." She spoke so coldly as though it was someone else's problems she was giving voice too. "He abused me for almost twelve years Denver, and now I find out he did it to my brother too… how can I forgive him for all that pain, Denver? How can you forgive someone who destroyed your whole life?"
His eyes were glazed over with tears and he was shaking his head slightly from side to side. What answer could he give her? He wasn't the kind of person she should be asking something like that… why on earth would she want his opinion?
"I don't know Anna. I don't think you can forgive someone who does something like that. He was obviously a very sick man…" he trailed off.
"He doesn't regret it Denver. Maybe I could begin to forgive if I thought he was remorseful, if I thought he ever felt bad for what he did. He told me he enjoyed it Denver, he told me he knew it was evil and wrong and he knew what he was doing to me was a sin and that he wanted to do it all the same."
Denver was almost choking on the lump in his throat. He wanted to hold her so much, he wanted to stop her pain forever, he wanted to tell her what he had done and relieve his own guilt and have the forgiveness her father didn't deserve… but truth was he didn't believe he deserved it either.
"I'd kill him if he wasn't better off dying in agony." He said finally. "Anna, I'm sorry…" the tears ran down her face and he wanted so much to comfort her. Seeing her in pain was the worst feeling he'd ever experienced... and there had been a lot of it over the years.
"Anna I have to tell you something and I know you are going to hate me for it, but I have to tell you. I can't lie to you… I can't live with this…" Anna wiped at her eyes and tried to compose herself a little.
"Denver, what is it? What's wrong? Did someone hurt you again?" he shook his head silently.
"I did something really terrible. I don't know what was wrong with me and I'd never… God I could never… I feel so ashamed of myself… I don't think…" He was almost in tears by this point and was gulping hard to try and hold them off. "Yesterday my sister came to visit and it got rather difficult and I did something… I did something really bad." Somehow Anna instinctively knew what was coming.
"You raped her." She said with a shiver that chilled her to her very core.
"No!" he said quickly, "I tried to kiss her… I never would have… I wouldn't do that… I just… the way she was talking and I…" he cut himself off quickly not wanting to give more details in case it seemed he was trying to put the blame on Anna.
"Why?" Anna said simply, "What made you want to do something like that?" Outwardly she seemed to be able to detach herself from the situation expertly, but inside she was deeply disappointed in him. She longed for there to be a valid reason, something she could understand and forgive. The pain of finding out that he was just like her father; the let down of finding that her rationale was wrong... it was almost too much to bear.
"I missed you." He said in barely more than a whisper. "I thought… well when you left. Lionel said that it was your boyfriend that was waiting and I… well I thought… I just wanted someone to hold me and Lil was talking all this stuff about forgiveness and opening my heart… and it was you I wanted there and…" He paused being careful not to place any responsibility on her. "I just lost track of things for a moment and I… I really hurt her and I never meant to bring it all back again… I just… well sometimes, sometimes I feel like it's her fault."
"You blame her, for you being in here?" Anna asked, once again donning her doctor head. Denver shook his head.
"No, I just… sometimes I feel like she gets so condescending of me and I did it to protect her. Anyone I've ever hurt, I did it to protect myself… and to protect my sister. I'd kill anyone who hurt you Anna, I deserve to die if you can't forgive me… you are the only person I have ever loved and if I've hurt you…"
Suddenly the other side of her broke through. Her heart won over any of her rational thought. He was such a sweet man underneath; he was so naïve and innocent of anything emotional, it seemed like she could have forgiven him anything and he was so desperate to be loved. She reached across the table and took his hand in both of hers.
"Denver, you must apologise to Lil. Tell her what you told me and tell her that you never meant to hurt her and…"
"You want me to tell her about us?" He asked before he realised he was probably being far too presumptuous to suggest that there was an 'us' to speak of. "I mean, you want me to tell her about how I feel about you?" Anna smiled at his quick repent.
"That's up to you. You know that if anyone, any of the guards or your council, hear about it, then it can harm your case… but if you want to confide your feelings to your sister…"
"Can you forgive me Anna?" he said in the voice of a child caught stealing change or something.
"It's not me that needs to forgive you, Denver. You hurt Lillian not me. I feel bad that it was my leaving you with such a misunderstanding that led to…"
"No Anna, I wasn't saying it was because of you… please… it was my stupid mistake and I feel awful for it… I just didn't want you to think of me like the monster that your father is." He regretted bringing it up again as soon as the words hit the air between them.
"Denver, you aren't my father. Everything you have done… I have worked on every detail of your case. I probably know as much about your life as I do my own. I know you aren't a monster. Denver, you could never be like him... you could never..." She broke off her sentence as though it pained her even to contemplate the similarities.
"I have good news about your case in fact. I think if Lil, Connie and Gillis can testify for you, I might be able to get your sentence reduced to life imprisonment."
Denver hardly took in the details about his case; all he cared about was that she had said that she could forgive him. He'd thought she'd hate him and he'd never see her again and yet she continued to pleasantly surprise him. In fact she was still holding his hand and as he looked back at her and gave her a little nervous smile, she started to stroke her thumb over the soft skin between his right thumb and forefinger. His mind was swimming again and he wondered at the way the slightest touch of her skin could drive him so crazy.
"Anna, how can you… I'm a really shit person… how can you be so kind to me?" he asked looking down at where her fingers lightly caressed his hand.
"Denver, you aren't a bad person. You are an intelligent and thoughtful man when you want to show it… I know there is more to you than these idiots see." She glanced back at the doorway, and seeing no guards close by, she got up and walked around the table to sit on the edge beside him. "You have been very kind to me and whether you know it or not, you helped me deal with a lot of stuff…" with a glance back at the door she leant forward and kissed his cheek. He stiffened in his seat with surprise and she laughed at his astonishment.
"You don't hate me then?" he asked, a small smile beginning to break his cold exterior.
"No Denny, of course I don't hate you. I care a lot about you. Just stop being an idiot and causing trouble, then I won't have to spend half of my time thinking you are letting me down." He was so eager to please, it was almost pathetic.
"I won't let you down again, Anna. I swear. I'll never hurt you…" she reached out and stroked his cheek, being careful of the cut on his lip and the bruising round his eyes. Unpredictably he didn't try anything and for a second she was almost disappointed. "You look really beautiful today." He said softly. He eyed the folds of her blouse, that in her current position were just creased enough to reveal a little of her lace trimmed brassiere. He subconsciously ran his tongue over his lower lip. His actions were met with a little smile and she once again stroked his face tenderly.
"Not that you don't look hot usually…" she laughed and moved back around to her chair. The move was met with more than a little disappointment from her client.
"Anyway, I'm sorry for all the confusion and I'm sorry I didn't contact Lil earlier. It wasn't too bad… I mean apart from the kissing incident; was it?" Denver shook his head.
"I should have seen her before now; it was just so hard… I'm happy for her… she has sweet kids by the looks of it…"
"Do you want to be a father one day Denver?" Anna asked out of the blue. Denver shrugged and didn't really know how to answer. Thoughts like that rarely entered his mind at all, they seemed so preposterous.
"I guess; I'd like to have been able to have a normal family. Get married and have a few kids and I always wanted to…" he shook his head as though he was being stupid.
"Go on, I thought we were being honest with one another. Aren't we friends?" He smiled and through her he found the courage to continue.
"I dream of one day having a little cabin up in the woods and…" He paused gauging her facial expressions to decide how much he should divulge. "I dreamt we made love in the woods and lay under the stars together all night." He felt so nervous telling her and his stomach tied itself in knots waiting for some kind of response.
"There you see; I knew you had a sweet side." She said taking out a pile of papers and preparing to discuss his case. He wanted to ask her what she thought of it… he wanted to ask if she wanted it too and how much she really cared about him… but the time passed and she was obviously eager to tell him all the details of his appeal. All he wanted was to tell her how much he loved her and wanted to spend his whole life taking care of her the way she deserved… but the soft and rhythmic tempo of her voice was enough to console him for the time being… and it was good news too.
"I should be able to get Lil and your mother to testify and I need to convince Gillis to come in too." Here Denver stepped in.
"I don't want you to go anywhere near that bastard." He said quickly. It was what she had expected and she wasted no time in her response.
"Well I'm sorry Denver, but he is a material witness and we need him. I'm going to have to see him and make him testify by whatever means I can." Denver was quick to anger. She could see in that moment why people would be very afraid of him. He glowered at her across the table with a fiery temper.
"You won't go near that man, Anna. I mean it! If you insist on doing this I'll sack you and you won't be able to see anyone." She sighed and looked at him frustrated. "You can complain all you want, he is dangerous and I won't let you go near him."
"Denver, how are you going to stop me? I'm not going to stand by and let a witness walk because you think I'm incapable of looking after myself." She wasn't going to back down. Unfortunately for her, neither was he. Denver was perfectly willing to follow through on his threats.
"Anna, I'm firing you. I don't want you to be my lawyer anymore." He snapped at her, looking away at the door as though he was about to call Fred over to take him away and deny her any further discussion. Anna laughed.
"You aren't going to fire me, Denver. You drop me; you don't get me to visit you everyday…"
"Don't you dare use my love for you as a bargaining tool. I'm not your fucking toy!" he shouted angrily. It was enough to startle her into silence long enough for him to continue making his point. "I don't want you going near that man, he hurt my mother and my sister and he beat me black and blue when I was a little kid. His bastard son raped my sister and I'm not having my girl…" he stammered angrily, getting caught up in his own words. "I am not letting him hurt you too!"
"Denver, I'm not letting you go to the chair knowing there was something I could have done to stop it. Gillis is an old man, he couldn't hurt me, and even if he did… it's little price to pay for your life." Denver was astounded.
"Anna, listen to yourself woman. Why the hell would you let someone hurt you for my sake?"
"Denver, I stayed with my father for five years after I was old enough to leave home, to protect my little brother and sister from him… if I was there he couldn't hurt them… I did it because… if I took a little more pain then at least they would have normal lives... mine was already ruined and… I guess I let my brother down because he did it to him too but…" Anna was crying again and Denver got up from his seat, completely ignoring the fact that Fred was outside the door; albeit facing the other way, and went to Anna's side.
"I did it because I loved them Denny. I didn't want those I loved to hurt when I could take away the pain for them." He took her hands in his own and looked up into her eyes. "I don't want you to die Denver…" she sobbed, taking one hand from his and wiping at her eyes and runny nose with her sleeve.
"Come here," He said calmly, "Don't ruin your pretty clothes when you can cry all you want on my shoulder." She didn't have to be asked twice; not that she was really asked once. She dropped her head onto his shoulder and clung to him so tightly he had to squeeze out of her embrace a little, just to be able to breathe. He gently stroked her hip with his fingers and whispered in her ear.
"It's time you let someone else take the pain, Anna. It's time you let the past go and started to have a future. You are a beautiful, intelligent and generous woman; you deserve to have some real happiness in your life. It isn't ruined sweetheart, you still have time. I don't want you getting hurt for me, I'm not worth it, and I don't see why you should put yourself out for me…"
"Denny, I told you why…" she whispered bringing her hand up to stroke the hair on the back of his neck and softly kissing the soft musky smelling skin beneath his ear. He trembled at her touch and the kiss seemed to completely disorientate him.
"Why?" he stammered, nervously. "You told me you stayed for your brother and sister because you loved them and didn't want them to be hurt but…"
"Isn't it obvious Denny?" she whispered moving away just a little to look into his wide, blue-green eyes. "I have to do this because I can't let you go to the chair, I can't lose you…" He looked at her in earnest.
"Why, Anna? Because we are friends? Because it's your job?"
"Because I love you." He almost swallowed his own tongue and she was quite surprised with herself too. She knew how she really felt now, and is was obvious how he felt, but she hadn't intended to just come out with it like that.
"You… you love me?" he stuttered. Unable to comprehend that she might actually have meant it.
"Do you want it in writing, Denver?" Anna laughed softly, her eyes sparkling with a joy he'd never seen there before. He smiled and nodded.
"I don't believe you, is this some sort of trick? You can't really…" She was tired of trying to talk him round. So instead she just leant forward and kissed his lips gently. His were trembling when they touched her own and she pressed a little more firmly to try and steady him somehow. She had her eyes closed but sensing his trepidation; she opened her eyes and saw that he was just looking at her face completely dumbstruck.
"Don't you want me to kiss you?" she whispered, "I thought you had been looking forward to it." He nodded slowly, and she stepped back a little, before bending down in front of him. He was still shaking and she smiled as she took his hands and pulled them out from his waist and snaked her body up between the tight space that lay between his arms. His arms went up around her shoulders as her body pressed and slid up against his snugly. He could have just lifted his arms over her head but she had enjoyed feeling him tight against her and she wanted to make the most of the time they had together.
"Close your eyes, and don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." She whispered to him. He did as he was told and closed his eyes to wait for her lips to touch his once more. He was aware of his inexperience, now more than ever. Last time he had tried this, he had stuffed it up so bad, he'd scared her away. He couldn't risk that now.
"Anna, I don't want to do something wrong…" he muttered without opening his eyes. Her lips brushed over his and he felt her mouth open to suck at his top lip. He tried to copy what she did, opening his eyes to see where he was supposed to be kissing.
"Denny, close your eyes and just do what you feel okay? Stop worrying; just go slowly and follow your heart."
Their mouths slowly began to explore one another; tongues snaking together in a passionate duel. Lips sucking and teeth scraping tenderly as his hands twisted softly in her silky curls and hers slid down his back to squeeze his firm butt. She could feel how hard he was against her and the heat was building between them so much that she began to wonder if she could reach some kind of sexual peak just from kissing him.
By now Denver was moaning softly into her mouth and his fingers were lovingly stroking her neck as he inhaled the spicy scent of her skin combined with the fruity smell of her curls. He was intoxicated by her; she was like a drug to him in those few hungry moments. "Oh Anna, I love you so much, God, you make me feel so good."
Hearing a noise out in the hall she pulled away quickly and ducked out of his arms. Lionel was talking to Fred out in the hall and Anna kissed Denver quickly on the lips before returning to the other side of the table and fumbling with some papers. Denver felt like he was in a daze and he shook his head trying to get his senses back. Before the door was opened he leant over the table and whispered to Anna.
"You really mean it?" She nodded and smiled warmly. "You want to be my girlfriend?" Anna chuckled a little and whispered back to him.
"I prefer to be your secret lover, okay?" His eyes lit up and he almost blushed as he found himself nodding back at her. The door opened and their moment was over for the time being. Lionel tried to cause trouble as usual… but Denver couldn't even be bothered to listen, let alone respond. He had the girl of his dreams and she loved him, what did anything else matter now?
Hastily she showered and fixed her hair up, with damp ringlets of auburn hair sweeping down over her unblemished pale complexion. Her eyes seemed to be shining with a sparkle that she hadn't ever seen there before. She applied a little make-up, very liberally, so as not to draw attention to herself; and a dab of spicy scented perfume behind her ears and gently stroked the remnants down between her generous cleavage. She wore her second best underwear; not wanting to seem too overt in her intentions. The blood red lace and silk gently held her curves and drew attention to just the right places; though she didn't expect such simple things to be needed for Denver to notice her.
Wearing a dark red silk blouse and a slim, russet, A-line skirt with inch high heels, she left the apartment. The car was short on gas and she sighed at the inconvenience of having to take time out of her visit. She threw the brown leather coat and the almost matching battered briefcase over the passenger seat and started the engine.
It was a laborious journey and she hadn't planned for the mid morning rush of traffic on the main street down towards the maximum security prison. The whole journey was accompanied by many weary sighs and the only peace came when she finally pulled into the car park and walked up to the reception entrance.
"Good morning, Dr Darwin." Fred said with a certain vexation in his voice. Anna looked a little concerned as he stood by and waited for her to be searched by Ms McIntyre, as usual. Anna knew not to try and make conversation about her client in front of the middle aged woman by now. It generally caused nothing but trouble, and at best a barrage of mutterings about how 'Bayliss was better off dead'. This was not what Anna needed to hear right now, and she was sure that Ms McIntyre would not really appreciate hearing how Anna had made an in-way to getting Denver's sentence significantly reduced either.
"What's the matter Fred? Is there something I should know about?" Anna asked as they made their way down to the usual visiting room. Denver had already been taken down to the room by Waylon and Fred saw him sitting anxiously in his metal chair.
"I think it's probably best you hear it from Bayliss yourself, Dr Darwin." This immediately put her on edge; as out of all the officers and guards she had met while visiting the place, only Fred called Denver by his Christian name. His dropping of this usual convention made her nervous.
Denver stood up as she entered the room and after meeting her eyes for just a moment, he dropped his glare back to the floor and muttered 'good morning' to her as they both sat down. When Fred and Waylon had left the room, she leaned across the table and patted Denver's hand, which rested awkwardly on the edge of the table between them.
"Fred seemed a bit odd this morning, what's been going on Denver?" she said making his stomach twist into sickening knots. How could he tell her what he had done? She believed in him, she was the only one who did. How could he have failed her so terribly? He didn't know where to start. He felt defensive although he knew that his behaviour the previous day was reprehensible.
"Did you tell my sister to come here?" he asked glancing up at Anna for just the shortest of moments. She shook her head. Although she had told Lil, she would ask Denver for permission to visit; she had completely forgotten to get back to her with his negative response.
"I'm sorry Denver; I have been really busy the last few days and…" He felt angry, not because she had let him down but because he was jealous as hell of the boyfriend he believed she had been so busy with, the last few days.
"I guess I'm not important enough for you to actually pay attention to my wishes, am I?" he snapped. "Don't worry, I don't mind if you want to spend the rest of my life enjoying yourself with your boyfriend!"
That really hurt Anna, and she thought twice about staying to tell him her good news for a moment. She definitely reconsidered telling him how she felt about him. That said she had no choice but to put him straight. After all he had done for her, unknowingly or not; she owed him the truth.
"Denver, that's bullshit!" She retorted just as angrily as him, if not more so. "I didn't have time to call Lil about the visit because I had personal business to deal with. I had some family issues that…" No, why should she let him in when he had snapped at her that way?
She met his eyes then and he didn't look away this time. It was difficult to see if he was looking at her with awe or anger. She was in no doubt that she had always had the ability to bring him down a peg or two and somehow, although the control did nothing for her, she liked to know that he wasn't as macho as he pretended to be with everyone else. She liked that she had the power to make him weak for her and she had begun to realise that he quite liked the feeling too.
"As for a boyfriend, I don't know where you got that idea. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in my life… if you want to know who I've been with for the last few days then I don't mind telling you, that it was my little brother. He came over to see me because my father is dying and wanted to see me…"
Denver's face dropped. She was talking in a frustrated haste and he realised that she probably didn't mean to tell him all this stuff. Normally he'd jump on any personal information about one of his visitors and make that person pay for being so candid with him, by tearing them to shreds. Now he just wanted to stop her from spouting all this stuff at him without consideration. He knew that it was some of her deepest fears she was talking about and he also knew that those sorts of things didn't come out easily…
"Anna, I'm so sorry." He said quickly interrupting. "Hell, I never meant to… you don't have to tell me this…"
"Who else would I tell?" she said surprising him again. He had no answer, so she continued. "My father wants me to forgive him… before he dies… he wants my forgiveness." She spoke so coldly as though it was someone else's problems she was giving voice too. "He abused me for almost twelve years Denver, and now I find out he did it to my brother too… how can I forgive him for all that pain, Denver? How can you forgive someone who destroyed your whole life?"
His eyes were glazed over with tears and he was shaking his head slightly from side to side. What answer could he give her? He wasn't the kind of person she should be asking something like that… why on earth would she want his opinion?
"I don't know Anna. I don't think you can forgive someone who does something like that. He was obviously a very sick man…" he trailed off.
"He doesn't regret it Denver. Maybe I could begin to forgive if I thought he was remorseful, if I thought he ever felt bad for what he did. He told me he enjoyed it Denver, he told me he knew it was evil and wrong and he knew what he was doing to me was a sin and that he wanted to do it all the same."
Denver was almost choking on the lump in his throat. He wanted to hold her so much, he wanted to stop her pain forever, he wanted to tell her what he had done and relieve his own guilt and have the forgiveness her father didn't deserve… but truth was he didn't believe he deserved it either.
"I'd kill him if he wasn't better off dying in agony." He said finally. "Anna, I'm sorry…" the tears ran down her face and he wanted so much to comfort her. Seeing her in pain was the worst feeling he'd ever experienced... and there had been a lot of it over the years.
"Anna I have to tell you something and I know you are going to hate me for it, but I have to tell you. I can't lie to you… I can't live with this…" Anna wiped at her eyes and tried to compose herself a little.
"Denver, what is it? What's wrong? Did someone hurt you again?" he shook his head silently.
"I did something really terrible. I don't know what was wrong with me and I'd never… God I could never… I feel so ashamed of myself… I don't think…" He was almost in tears by this point and was gulping hard to try and hold them off. "Yesterday my sister came to visit and it got rather difficult and I did something… I did something really bad." Somehow Anna instinctively knew what was coming.
"You raped her." She said with a shiver that chilled her to her very core.
"No!" he said quickly, "I tried to kiss her… I never would have… I wouldn't do that… I just… the way she was talking and I…" he cut himself off quickly not wanting to give more details in case it seemed he was trying to put the blame on Anna.
"Why?" Anna said simply, "What made you want to do something like that?" Outwardly she seemed to be able to detach herself from the situation expertly, but inside she was deeply disappointed in him. She longed for there to be a valid reason, something she could understand and forgive. The pain of finding out that he was just like her father; the let down of finding that her rationale was wrong... it was almost too much to bear.
"I missed you." He said in barely more than a whisper. "I thought… well when you left. Lionel said that it was your boyfriend that was waiting and I… well I thought… I just wanted someone to hold me and Lil was talking all this stuff about forgiveness and opening my heart… and it was you I wanted there and…" He paused being careful not to place any responsibility on her. "I just lost track of things for a moment and I… I really hurt her and I never meant to bring it all back again… I just… well sometimes, sometimes I feel like it's her fault."
"You blame her, for you being in here?" Anna asked, once again donning her doctor head. Denver shook his head.
"No, I just… sometimes I feel like she gets so condescending of me and I did it to protect her. Anyone I've ever hurt, I did it to protect myself… and to protect my sister. I'd kill anyone who hurt you Anna, I deserve to die if you can't forgive me… you are the only person I have ever loved and if I've hurt you…"
Suddenly the other side of her broke through. Her heart won over any of her rational thought. He was such a sweet man underneath; he was so naïve and innocent of anything emotional, it seemed like she could have forgiven him anything and he was so desperate to be loved. She reached across the table and took his hand in both of hers.
"Denver, you must apologise to Lil. Tell her what you told me and tell her that you never meant to hurt her and…"
"You want me to tell her about us?" He asked before he realised he was probably being far too presumptuous to suggest that there was an 'us' to speak of. "I mean, you want me to tell her about how I feel about you?" Anna smiled at his quick repent.
"That's up to you. You know that if anyone, any of the guards or your council, hear about it, then it can harm your case… but if you want to confide your feelings to your sister…"
"Can you forgive me Anna?" he said in the voice of a child caught stealing change or something.
"It's not me that needs to forgive you, Denver. You hurt Lillian not me. I feel bad that it was my leaving you with such a misunderstanding that led to…"
"No Anna, I wasn't saying it was because of you… please… it was my stupid mistake and I feel awful for it… I just didn't want you to think of me like the monster that your father is." He regretted bringing it up again as soon as the words hit the air between them.
"Denver, you aren't my father. Everything you have done… I have worked on every detail of your case. I probably know as much about your life as I do my own. I know you aren't a monster. Denver, you could never be like him... you could never..." She broke off her sentence as though it pained her even to contemplate the similarities.
"I have good news about your case in fact. I think if Lil, Connie and Gillis can testify for you, I might be able to get your sentence reduced to life imprisonment."
Denver hardly took in the details about his case; all he cared about was that she had said that she could forgive him. He'd thought she'd hate him and he'd never see her again and yet she continued to pleasantly surprise him. In fact she was still holding his hand and as he looked back at her and gave her a little nervous smile, she started to stroke her thumb over the soft skin between his right thumb and forefinger. His mind was swimming again and he wondered at the way the slightest touch of her skin could drive him so crazy.
"Anna, how can you… I'm a really shit person… how can you be so kind to me?" he asked looking down at where her fingers lightly caressed his hand.
"Denver, you aren't a bad person. You are an intelligent and thoughtful man when you want to show it… I know there is more to you than these idiots see." She glanced back at the doorway, and seeing no guards close by, she got up and walked around the table to sit on the edge beside him. "You have been very kind to me and whether you know it or not, you helped me deal with a lot of stuff…" with a glance back at the door she leant forward and kissed his cheek. He stiffened in his seat with surprise and she laughed at his astonishment.
"You don't hate me then?" he asked, a small smile beginning to break his cold exterior.
"No Denny, of course I don't hate you. I care a lot about you. Just stop being an idiot and causing trouble, then I won't have to spend half of my time thinking you are letting me down." He was so eager to please, it was almost pathetic.
"I won't let you down again, Anna. I swear. I'll never hurt you…" she reached out and stroked his cheek, being careful of the cut on his lip and the bruising round his eyes. Unpredictably he didn't try anything and for a second she was almost disappointed. "You look really beautiful today." He said softly. He eyed the folds of her blouse, that in her current position were just creased enough to reveal a little of her lace trimmed brassiere. He subconsciously ran his tongue over his lower lip. His actions were met with a little smile and she once again stroked his face tenderly.
"Not that you don't look hot usually…" she laughed and moved back around to her chair. The move was met with more than a little disappointment from her client.
"Anyway, I'm sorry for all the confusion and I'm sorry I didn't contact Lil earlier. It wasn't too bad… I mean apart from the kissing incident; was it?" Denver shook his head.
"I should have seen her before now; it was just so hard… I'm happy for her… she has sweet kids by the looks of it…"
"Do you want to be a father one day Denver?" Anna asked out of the blue. Denver shrugged and didn't really know how to answer. Thoughts like that rarely entered his mind at all, they seemed so preposterous.
"I guess; I'd like to have been able to have a normal family. Get married and have a few kids and I always wanted to…" he shook his head as though he was being stupid.
"Go on, I thought we were being honest with one another. Aren't we friends?" He smiled and through her he found the courage to continue.
"I dream of one day having a little cabin up in the woods and…" He paused gauging her facial expressions to decide how much he should divulge. "I dreamt we made love in the woods and lay under the stars together all night." He felt so nervous telling her and his stomach tied itself in knots waiting for some kind of response.
"There you see; I knew you had a sweet side." She said taking out a pile of papers and preparing to discuss his case. He wanted to ask her what she thought of it… he wanted to ask if she wanted it too and how much she really cared about him… but the time passed and she was obviously eager to tell him all the details of his appeal. All he wanted was to tell her how much he loved her and wanted to spend his whole life taking care of her the way she deserved… but the soft and rhythmic tempo of her voice was enough to console him for the time being… and it was good news too.
"I should be able to get Lil and your mother to testify and I need to convince Gillis to come in too." Here Denver stepped in.
"I don't want you to go anywhere near that bastard." He said quickly. It was what she had expected and she wasted no time in her response.
"Well I'm sorry Denver, but he is a material witness and we need him. I'm going to have to see him and make him testify by whatever means I can." Denver was quick to anger. She could see in that moment why people would be very afraid of him. He glowered at her across the table with a fiery temper.
"You won't go near that man, Anna. I mean it! If you insist on doing this I'll sack you and you won't be able to see anyone." She sighed and looked at him frustrated. "You can complain all you want, he is dangerous and I won't let you go near him."
"Denver, how are you going to stop me? I'm not going to stand by and let a witness walk because you think I'm incapable of looking after myself." She wasn't going to back down. Unfortunately for her, neither was he. Denver was perfectly willing to follow through on his threats.
"Anna, I'm firing you. I don't want you to be my lawyer anymore." He snapped at her, looking away at the door as though he was about to call Fred over to take him away and deny her any further discussion. Anna laughed.
"You aren't going to fire me, Denver. You drop me; you don't get me to visit you everyday…"
"Don't you dare use my love for you as a bargaining tool. I'm not your fucking toy!" he shouted angrily. It was enough to startle her into silence long enough for him to continue making his point. "I don't want you going near that man, he hurt my mother and my sister and he beat me black and blue when I was a little kid. His bastard son raped my sister and I'm not having my girl…" he stammered angrily, getting caught up in his own words. "I am not letting him hurt you too!"
"Denver, I'm not letting you go to the chair knowing there was something I could have done to stop it. Gillis is an old man, he couldn't hurt me, and even if he did… it's little price to pay for your life." Denver was astounded.
"Anna, listen to yourself woman. Why the hell would you let someone hurt you for my sake?"
"Denver, I stayed with my father for five years after I was old enough to leave home, to protect my little brother and sister from him… if I was there he couldn't hurt them… I did it because… if I took a little more pain then at least they would have normal lives... mine was already ruined and… I guess I let my brother down because he did it to him too but…" Anna was crying again and Denver got up from his seat, completely ignoring the fact that Fred was outside the door; albeit facing the other way, and went to Anna's side.
"I did it because I loved them Denny. I didn't want those I loved to hurt when I could take away the pain for them." He took her hands in his own and looked up into her eyes. "I don't want you to die Denver…" she sobbed, taking one hand from his and wiping at her eyes and runny nose with her sleeve.
"Come here," He said calmly, "Don't ruin your pretty clothes when you can cry all you want on my shoulder." She didn't have to be asked twice; not that she was really asked once. She dropped her head onto his shoulder and clung to him so tightly he had to squeeze out of her embrace a little, just to be able to breathe. He gently stroked her hip with his fingers and whispered in her ear.
"It's time you let someone else take the pain, Anna. It's time you let the past go and started to have a future. You are a beautiful, intelligent and generous woman; you deserve to have some real happiness in your life. It isn't ruined sweetheart, you still have time. I don't want you getting hurt for me, I'm not worth it, and I don't see why you should put yourself out for me…"
"Denny, I told you why…" she whispered bringing her hand up to stroke the hair on the back of his neck and softly kissing the soft musky smelling skin beneath his ear. He trembled at her touch and the kiss seemed to completely disorientate him.
"Why?" he stammered, nervously. "You told me you stayed for your brother and sister because you loved them and didn't want them to be hurt but…"
"Isn't it obvious Denny?" she whispered moving away just a little to look into his wide, blue-green eyes. "I have to do this because I can't let you go to the chair, I can't lose you…" He looked at her in earnest.
"Why, Anna? Because we are friends? Because it's your job?"
"Because I love you." He almost swallowed his own tongue and she was quite surprised with herself too. She knew how she really felt now, and is was obvious how he felt, but she hadn't intended to just come out with it like that.
"You… you love me?" he stuttered. Unable to comprehend that she might actually have meant it.
"Do you want it in writing, Denver?" Anna laughed softly, her eyes sparkling with a joy he'd never seen there before. He smiled and nodded.
"I don't believe you, is this some sort of trick? You can't really…" She was tired of trying to talk him round. So instead she just leant forward and kissed his lips gently. His were trembling when they touched her own and she pressed a little more firmly to try and steady him somehow. She had her eyes closed but sensing his trepidation; she opened her eyes and saw that he was just looking at her face completely dumbstruck.
"Don't you want me to kiss you?" she whispered, "I thought you had been looking forward to it." He nodded slowly, and she stepped back a little, before bending down in front of him. He was still shaking and she smiled as she took his hands and pulled them out from his waist and snaked her body up between the tight space that lay between his arms. His arms went up around her shoulders as her body pressed and slid up against his snugly. He could have just lifted his arms over her head but she had enjoyed feeling him tight against her and she wanted to make the most of the time they had together.
"Close your eyes, and don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." She whispered to him. He did as he was told and closed his eyes to wait for her lips to touch his once more. He was aware of his inexperience, now more than ever. Last time he had tried this, he had stuffed it up so bad, he'd scared her away. He couldn't risk that now.
"Anna, I don't want to do something wrong…" he muttered without opening his eyes. Her lips brushed over his and he felt her mouth open to suck at his top lip. He tried to copy what she did, opening his eyes to see where he was supposed to be kissing.
"Denny, close your eyes and just do what you feel okay? Stop worrying; just go slowly and follow your heart."
Their mouths slowly began to explore one another; tongues snaking together in a passionate duel. Lips sucking and teeth scraping tenderly as his hands twisted softly in her silky curls and hers slid down his back to squeeze his firm butt. She could feel how hard he was against her and the heat was building between them so much that she began to wonder if she could reach some kind of sexual peak just from kissing him.
By now Denver was moaning softly into her mouth and his fingers were lovingly stroking her neck as he inhaled the spicy scent of her skin combined with the fruity smell of her curls. He was intoxicated by her; she was like a drug to him in those few hungry moments. "Oh Anna, I love you so much, God, you make me feel so good."
Hearing a noise out in the hall she pulled away quickly and ducked out of his arms. Lionel was talking to Fred out in the hall and Anna kissed Denver quickly on the lips before returning to the other side of the table and fumbling with some papers. Denver felt like he was in a daze and he shook his head trying to get his senses back. Before the door was opened he leant over the table and whispered to Anna.
"You really mean it?" She nodded and smiled warmly. "You want to be my girlfriend?" Anna chuckled a little and whispered back to him.
"I prefer to be your secret lover, okay?" His eyes lit up and he almost blushed as he found himself nodding back at her. The door opened and their moment was over for the time being. Lionel tried to cause trouble as usual… but Denver couldn't even be bothered to listen, let alone respond. He had the girl of his dreams and she loved him, what did anything else matter now?