Author's Note: I'm gonna blame Beach Brain for the spottiness of these updates ;) lol
She can't stop. Every time she tries to clear her mind of everything, tries to sleep, she's right back there outside her hotel, her hands in Tony's hair and their lips sealed together. The moments leading up to the kiss are all blurry and the moments afterward are redundant.
But that kiss. It's crystal clear in the forefront of her mind. She distinctly remembers every feeling, every flavor, every sensation and every touch. One kiss turned into something much more so quickly and for those few moments outside neither of them could even fathom the consequences.
Now they can. They want to separate hotels at the end of the night and they said goodnight but neither one slept a wink. They laid awake in separate beds, their minds stuck on each other. Ziva stared at the ceiling replaying everything for the millionth time. Tony laid in his empty bed staring out the window coming up with a game plan. Where do they go from here?
Forward?
Backward?
Nowhere?
Ziva sighs. As beautiful as last night was it didn't help them at all. It didn't answer their questions it just brought up a million more. It was every single adjective Ziva could think of; good, bad and everything in between. It was probably a mistake though. Anything that wonderful had to be terrible for them. Anything that wonderful couldn't work for David and DiNozzo. They aren't that lucky.
She pauses. The sun is rising outside her window and she still hasn't stopped thinking of all the horrible ways this is going to end. But now she pauses just long enough for a stupid little sprout of hope to bubble up inside.
Maybe...
No.
But maybe...
She can't stop. Now she's thinking of all the wonderful possibilities laid out before her. She could road-trip around Europe with Tony. She could hold his hand and kiss his lips and anything else she wanted to kiss. They could be together in every way they've always wanted but continuously denied themselves.
She sees it. Every single second of her future is playing out before her eyes as she packs up her bags. She can see them being together forever. Through horrible fights and beautiful moments. She can see him clearing out a space in his incredibly metrosexual closet for her. She can see them sharing a bed- really and honestly. She can see them arguing over how much stuff she brings with her when he asks her to move in. She can see him in a tux next to McGee at the end of the isle she walks down, cloaked in white and desperately latched onto Gibbs' arm. She can see them buying a house and turning the spare room reserved for Tony's dad or Schmeil into a nursery when she comes home from a routine doctor's appointment with big news. She can see them lying in bed, a tiny baby with her curls and his eyes between them, reminiscing about the life they lived.
She sees it. Everything is there more like memories than predictions as she checks out of her hotel and heads for the street.
Then she sees him.