His Voice Of Reason

Author; Nightstar Fury of Nightstar Productions

Rated; M for Mature

Disclaimer; I do not own HTTYD, or any of the songs used in this story! :)

10; For Now.

{Regular POV}

It had been about 2 months since everything for the play got started. Hiccup and Astrid had only rehearsed the one scene of Belle and Beast, rather Adam after the transformation, kissing. The rest of the lines were pretty basic, it was just a matter of making sure they were in character for the night of production. That wouldn't be too difficult. Hiccup was always hard at work on the set pieces during classes while Mr. Bretson was working with the others students on their parts. Astrid had managed to get a sneak peek by accident of Hiccup's costume and it looked just about dead on. She was also surprised to find out Hiccup and Fishlegs together set up the sound board for everything as far as music or background noises in scenes. Astrid's costume or at least the yellow dress was store bought. The other ones were all put together herself.

Today they were scene where Belle gives herself up to Beast in order to save her father. It had been interesting too to see Hiccup get such a deep voice in order to play Beast, it wasn't easy to do but he managed just fine. They worked on a few smaller ones where Beast wasn't present because Hiccup wanted to finish the big set pieces and get them in place. Astrid noticed Hiccup spent a lot of time in wood shop to do these pieces, also he painted everything by hand. It was amazing that in two months he got so much accomplished. Most of the castle pieces were done, so was the village setting. It was mainly a 3D backdrop Hiccup created, more like drew and painted.

Astrid still spoke with Hiccup in chat, sometimes the hotline but not often anymore because chat was easier to do and hide. Hiccup still his depression well, no one questioned him on his constant bored or dull demeanor then again Astrid was the only one who knew the truth so maybe because of that she saw the signs easy. She knew he still cut, and didn't eat a lot which is why everyone got the impression he was so weak but it traveled around school quick that Hiccup beat Snotlout's ass which Astrid noticed too gave Hiccup a worse time in school because now everyone was on his case about how he did it or it made him a target for other bullies wanting to test his skill.

Hiccup declining these offers made people in groups mad and thus picked on up further, Astrid had no idea how he dealt with it all. If that was happening to her she would of snapped a long time ago in a fit of rage. Hiccup definitely had a lid on his anger and depression. Astrid had a feeling Hiccup's secret to such a lid was cutting and putting on a not caring type attitude which she didn't like and was supposed to report to her bosses but couldn't find the heart too which made her feel worse because she knew Hiccup was hurting himself and she wasn't stopping it because it would mean she blew his secret and her own. A lot of people would be mad at her for knowing the truth but never saying anything.

They were in drama class still, with 40 minutes to go before the end of class. There were a lot of materials to set up and Hiccup got a lot of it from shops and what not around town who were throwing away boxes. Fishlegs was helping him along with some others too. They were setting up the fountain for the town scene, and the houses for the villagers were just cardboard boxes as was the baker shop, library, and more. There wasn't a lot of stage room to work with so it had to be kept simple, just for effect. The day before Hiccup was setting up the wooden backdrop boards in order so the stage crew could just switch them out as needed.

The castle towers were cardboard, as was the balcony. They were using a folding table for the dinner scenes, and outside scenes would just be feathers or cotton balls. Astrid was currently helping Ruffnut and Heather with their costumes, Hiccup walked by clearly on his way to wood shop again. "Hiccup...Help." Heather groaned, Hiccup stopped and chuckled seeing why she asked for help, the dresses would poof right given Heather was skinny and Mrs. Potts was a larger woman.

"Hang on..." Hiccup said as he went rummaging through a few boxes and pulled out some padding. "Yeah this'll work. Gimme your dresses. I'll have em done before class ends." Hiccup said. Ruffnut and Heather pulled the dresses off since they were wearing their normal clothes underneath. Hiccup took then with the padding and plopped down at the edge of the stage, feet dangling before dropping down. He exited the auditorium and went across the hall to the home ec room, another place he was welcome in to work on play related things.

{Astrid's POV}

I failed when it came to costumes, Hiccup had even helped do my own now he was doing Ruffnut's and Heather's on top of all the set features. How did one man manage so much at a time. I would have ripped my hair out by now. Hiccup wasn't kidding when he told me as Ryder that he could invent things. Every day I had drama class with this guy and saw the set come to life with him and the others working on it. Mr. Bretson actually placed Hiccup in charge of all things scene or set related. His inventing and drawing skills really showed right now. I was thoroughly impressed. But I still worried for him.

I knew the truth, that he was depressed. Potentially suicidal and keeping it to myself. This was bad and I knew that so why did I hesitate when it came to Hiccup? I had reported at least 10 other people for depression and suicide attempts, why couldn't I do it with Hiccup. It wasn't even phone calls giving me the vibe something was wrong. I had physical proof but I couldn't do it. And I hated not knowing why. I sighed getting back to work on other things, Hiccup would be back later and I just had to see what he did to those dresses to make them poofier. Another thing on my mind was the kiss we'd shared for the scene to be approved. It wasn't one, it was two and both times...My heart started racing, pounding in my chest when his lips touched mine.

This was something I'd never revealed to anyone. How could I? Sure there was my mom but she'd know I was holding something back and that something was Hiccup being one of my callers to the hotline. She'd lecture me that I got personal with my caller, she'd probably report me for not reporting him. No, definitely couldn't tell mom. Or Ruffnut, she knew I worked at the hotline too. Or Heather because she was Hiccup's sister and knew I worked for the hotline. In this case, I was now the one with no one to talk too. I was fighting with myself if I was beginning to develop feelings for Hiccup or not. Was it guilt? Because I knew about his life? He told me his deepest feelings about his life every night, and here I am in class knowing everything but having to act like I know nothing.

I really hated this. Class continued, Hiccup returned 10 minutes before the last bell of the day with the dresses. They looked like nothing was done on them. "Heather. Ruffnut. Come here and try these on." I heard Hiccup say. I walked over as Heather and Ruffnut did. They got their dresses on and Hiccup zipped up the backs and clasped it at the top. He stepped back and smiled motioning for them to look in the mirror. They gasped loving how it looked.

"Hiccup, these are amazing. How did you do it?" I asked him.

"Little padding and some sewing." He replied. So Hiccup knew how to sew too, was there anything he couldn't do?

{Hiccup's POV}

I had just finished Ruffnut's and Heather's costumes, I was sure what I did to them would work. I had to admit this play let me use a lot of my skills to make more interesting things and people took notice of it. Of course a lot of people still hated that I was steadily becoming more popular because of it and honestly. I kind of did too. I didn't want to be popular of what I could do. I wanted people to like me for me. Not my skills. The bell rang and we all packed up to go home. I was on the bus with Heather, it left the school and we were on our way. Tomorrow I was working in the shop with Gobber, also known as Craig Belchsen. Starting soon was all the rehearsals for scenes. Mr. Bretson wanted wanted to start getting the leads together to practice for show night in 2 months. I sighed with my head on the seat, Eret flicked my ear.

"Hey loser. Its cute you can sew. Did your mommy teach you that?" Eret said.

"Eret will you stop...Gods..." Heather mumbled.

"Its fine Heather. It doesn't bother me." I state. For the remainder of the ride they pulled my hair, flicked me, poked me. I wouldn't snap at them. I would just ignore it, they weren't bothering Heather. That's all I cared about. Getting home, dad left a note saying he had to work late and we could order pizza or grinders for dinner. Heather and I did our homework, then around 4:30, we ordered grinders for dinner with the cash dad left for us. After dinner, I locked up the house and cleaned up a bit. Heather went to talk to her friends and I went to my room after visiting Toothless for about 20 minutes before it got dark.

After I said goodbye to Toothless, I returned inside to my room and sat on the bed. The silence was peaceful until the teasing and picking on from the bus came back. I know I had said it didn't bother me but in truth it really did. It never seemed to stop and I never understood why it was ONLY me it happened too. I looked at my phone, where Angel and I were having a conversation earlier. I had stopped replying while with Toothless, sometimes I wished I could tell her but that wouldn't be smart. Angel was amazing to me, she listened and always helped me feel better. But with all this going on in my head...I reached for my knife between the mattresses and held it in one hand. My phone in the other.

Call Angel because I wanted to die again, let her talk me down or...cut my wrists and release the pain of the torture all day. I checked the clock, it was about 9pm right now. Dad wasn't due home until 11pm. Angel was waiting on a reply from me but I wasn't...in the mood to talk tonight. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry...I wanted to bleed. 'I'm sorry, Angel...' I thought putting my phone face down and dragging the blade across my wrist, then copying on the other one. As I felt my skin sear from pain of fresh cuts, I also felt tears falling from my eyes as I watched the crimson liquid fill the cuts and drip down the the sides of my wrists. I made 2 more cuts on each side, now the total was 3 on each arm. I just sat there letting my pain release from the wounds.

{Astrid's POV}

Tonight was my off night being is was Monday, I'd have work tomorrow from 3pm to 8pm. That wasn't my concern at the moment though. I was chatting with Hiccup for a while like since 4pm, now it was 9:35 and I hadn't heard from him in an hour which was unlike him to not answer especially when we were talking about the play and how he managed to fix his sister's dress and her friends dresses with a little padding. I was still impressed by that too. Hiccup was indeed a man of many talents. But right now, I felt like something was off. He hadn't answered since 8:30. I stared down at our conversation.

-AngelWings; You should be proud to have so many talents, Ryder. I mean come on...You cook, clean, sew, draw, sketch, invent, sing...What can't you do?-

-Ryder; So in your eyes...I'm a common housewife? Makes me feel great, Angel.-

I actually had to keep myself from laughing at his remark. He was witty and sarcastic, that was for sure.

-AngelWings; I do not see you that way. Ryder, all I'm saying is to be proud of who you are. Its a known fact that not everyone will like you, but that's their loss for not seeing what an awesome, amazingly talented man you are. So tell me more about your day? How are you feeling tonight? Anything you wanna talk about?-

That was it. The last thing I said to him and he never answered me. Which made me wonder if something happened an hour ago that would prevent him from answering. Like his dad coming home, or he was gaming with Heather. And my deepest worry that he was upset and cutting. What could I do though? I couldn't...call him could I? It went against every single rule in the company, more so because I'd be off the clock and didn't have the work number to use as cover. But Hiccup didn't have my cell phone, he could find out from Heather. I could call private? *69 made it possible to block the outgoing number.

I bit my lower lip now debating if I should or shouldn't. It was late, we never usually talked that late but...I was worried. I didn't know why either, I shouldn't be this worried about one guy. Or maybe was it the fact I was worried about a good guy who I was developing feelings for? A guy who didn't deserve all the neglect and abuse he got from everyone around him except teachers, his sister, and now me? Fuck it. I was never going to be able to sleep until I knew for sure. I knew Hiccup was good at lying so it would be hard but I was picking up on his tones lately, the ones where he was lying or hiding something. Him assuming I'm a professional meant he wouldn't question my questions, right? I stared down at my phone, I pulled up Hiccup's number.

I took a breath dialing *69, then Hiccup's phone number. What excuse could I use for calling? What if he's asleep? 'Hi, Ryder. Just wanted to make sure you were okay' That would make me seem stalker-ish. I hadn't realized I hit dial and the ringing brought me from my thoughts. I put it to my ear and waited, after 4 rings shockingly, it connected.

"Hello...?" Hiccup answered softly. I could hear it already, he'd been...crying.

"Hello Ryder..." I paused a moment, "Its Angel." I heard him gasp a bit and then shuffling on his end.

"An-Angel! Hi...I-I...You called...me?" Hiccup began to stutter. Yeah he was hiding something. "Why did...you call me? Are you...allowed to call people back?"

I sighed a moment, "Yes...We can. I'm sorry...I got worried when you stopped answering. Its not like you to not say goodnight to me, I've actually gotten used to it." I state gently. Hopefully he bought it, but it wasn't exactly a lie. I had gotten used to talking to him until we fell asleep.

"But wait...Its...Monday. Aren't you...off tonight?" Hiccup asked.

Shit. I forgot I gave him my work schedule. "I am off actually. I called...from my cell phone. Technically we're...not supposed to do this but...I couldn't call without...using the number hide code, the one to make it private..." I admit.

"*69? But...if you aren't...allowed to do this then...why are you? I was...about to go to bed..." Hiccup said to me. Great, now what did I say. Think Astrid, think!

"Well, lets just say I'm willing to...break the rules for you, Ryder." I heard him gasp a bit. "I didn't mean to bother you. I know we chat all the time but...I guess I kind of miss hearing your voice."

"M-Me? I'm just...Angel, you could lose your job over this...I don't want you to lose your job for breaking the rules to talk to me, some...suicidal depressed kid who hates his life because everyone hates him..." Hiccup replied sadly.

"I won't lose my job. They can't watch my personal calls on my phone. And I'm not on the clock. And don't put yourself down like that." I tell him firmly.

"Angel...I'm honored you would break rules to talk to me because you miss my voice but...Why...me? I'm sure...a pretty woman like you has a husband and kids at home." Hiccup said. I couldn't help it, I started giggling like an idiot. Covering my mouth so my parents didn't come in wondering who I was talking to so late at night.

"Oh gods...Ryder. No. No no. I'm not...married or have children. Though I'm touched you think I'm old enough for such and that you think I'm pretty when you have never seen me." I calmed myself down.

"You're not...married or have kids? And I don't...need to see you. I can tell by your voice and personality. You're always calm, and gentle, sincere. You have a kind heart to deal with people like me all day long." I couldn't believe he thought I was old enough to be married and have children. I wanted to tell him my age but he'd probably figure out I went to BHS, then who I was.

"No I'm not. And thank you, maybe one day we will meet. I'd like to meet the guy who can get me to laugh like that." I smile.

"But still, all that aside...Why me? Do you call your other clients from your phone? Or...just me?"

What did I say to that? Yes? That was a lie because I didn't. I was breaking a serious rule right now, calling Hiccup from my cell phone. If anyone at work ever found out. I would be fired, and probably have the police called on me. This was huge and I was literally risking it all for Hiccup because I liked him. I could admit that now, since the kissing scene in school I had been confused but now...I was sure of it. I liked him. A lot too. "Its just you, Ryder." I heard him gasp again, "And I called you because I like you. You're smart, funny, calm, inventive, artistic, and an absolute pleasure to talk too. I find myself waiting for your messages daily and when I didn't hear from you tonight. I got worried that something might have happened. I wanted to check on you myself to make sure you were alright because I don't want anything to happen to you."

I hadn't lied. It was the truth the only lie was that he was hearing this from Angel, not myself as Astrid. At first there was silence, I checked to make sure the call was still connected, it was so I know he hadn't hung up. "Y-You really mean all that?"

"Every word." I replied calmly.

"I like you too..." My eyes widened in complete shock, my mouth dropped open. He liked me? Hiccup...Liked...Me? Oh gods this was actually bad. He thought Angel liked him, a woman he knows is working for a suicide prevention hotline, and isn't supposed to be making personal calls to clients. A woman he's never met when he actually has but doesn't know that I'm Angel. Oh Thor. Now what did I do? He liked me, and I told him like an idiot as Angel, that I liked him. If he ever found out I've been Astrid this whole time...It might set him over the edge to know I never told him the truth. I had to come up with something so he didn't think this was a relationship or anything.

"I'm happy to hear that, Ryder but...like I said. I'm not supposed to be doing this right now. I'm breaking so many rules with this phone call alone. I know they can't put it together that you're one of my callers unless they check my cell phone to match your number." I tell him.

"Its okay, Angel. I understand...If anyone found out, you'd be in trouble and I wouldn't want to do that to you." Hiccup said. Gods he was the sweetest thing to me. Well to Angel.

"But I do like you, and I can't change that. I'll find a way for us to meet, but...for now. You can't tell anyone about this. Not this call, not where you met me from...Anything. Until I figure something else out, you can't to keep this...a secret." I said calmly but seriously.

"You have my word, Angel. I won't tell a soul about it." I hear Hiccup freeze a bit his bedroom door opened. "Hiccup. It is 10:30, and a school night. Go to bed. I should not come home and see that light on from the garage. What is keeping you up so late so I can remove it. If its that blasted computer, I will break it out back." Wow, that was harsh to say. Though, Hiccup being up was my fault. I called him. "N-Nothing is keeping me up dad. I had...just gotten up to go to the bathroom is all. I turned the light on so I wouldn't...trip over anything. I was just going to bed now." I hear Hiccup lie. "Good." The door closed and I heard the phone shift again.

"I'm so sorry for calling. I forgot it was a school night for you..." I said quickly.

"You heard all that?..."

"I did. Well everything past 'Go to bed' to 'Good'. It's my fault your up because I called you. Go on before you get in trouble." I said, I know I heard everything, including Stoick saying his name but I could tell he probably didn't want Angel knowing his name so I told him I didn't hear it all.

"I'm glad you called. I...really needed it tonight. Thank you, Angel. Wait...Can we...talk again tomorrow?" Hiccup asks softly, whispering now.

"I work tomorrow but yes you can call, the hotline of course. I'll be at work from 3pm-8pm...Sweet dreams, Ryder." I tell him softly.

"You too. Goodnight, Angel." Then the line disconnected. I put the phone down, then on the charger. I flopped back on my bed staring up. So I had been right, he did need me tonight. That meant he was crying and probably cutting. 'Oh what in the name of Odin did I just get myself into...' I thought sighing. This could either be really good, or really bad for both of us now. I prayed for good, I hoped and prayed for good. I had to figure something out and I needed to do it sooner rather than later. Yawning, I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.