Jean felt herself drawn like a moth to the flame and entered Emma's mind almost unwillingly. She immediately became lost in the myriad images Emma's unconscious was bombarding her with. She called out for the astral Emma to guide her but she didn't appear. In the real world Jean could feel the cold setting into her body and she telekinetically moved Emma and herself inside the boathouse, which was much warmer than outside and continued scanning Emma's memories. She finally reeled them into some sort of chronological order and started off with her earliest memories. Emma's astral form just lingered in the shadows unable to approach Jean as she waited for the inevitable reaction.
She watched her own memories and made peace with the childhood ones before wincing at the high school ones before reliving the first casino visits, the faked, then real kidnapping, her family, her father and his impossible standards and coldeness, Astrid Bloom deception, Ian's rejection of her, her hatred rising…the years being eaten voraciously by Jean who she now noticed was transforming. Jean's hair became wilder and her clothes started to change from the dress she was wearing tonight to her uniform though in shifting colours, usually red. She watched as Jean observed the Hellfire Club, the Hellions, Genosha all her sordid sexual tricks, her tormenting of others, her murder of her sister and finally after so much debauchery, so much manipulation and deep misery Jean saw the Emma she had come to know re-emerging from the tangles of her past. She saw her trying to lay the foundations for a better life, to reach the potential she had as a child that had become subverted by her family. She saw the institute through Emma's eyes, her reactions to Jean and the others but last of these images was her affair with Scott. Emma saw the flames licking Jean's hair now and knew what was coming. Jean saw the affair, the deception, the attempt to hide it in his mind and still Jean kept going through Emma's memories right up to the point they were at that second. She felt Emma's growing love for her; she experienced their first kiss from Emma's point of view and knew it to be true. Jean wiped the arena clear of these images until it was just the two of them hovering in nothingness, then she turned and looked straight at Emma's astral image and her eyes grew fire and her costume became that of the Phoenix as she grew in stature, pointing at Emma. The gathering storm of hellfire and brimstone about to be released. Jean couldn't contain herself.
Back in reality, Emma quickly turned to her diamond form as she felt Jean being taken over by the Phoenix fire. This was not what she was wishing for, this was too extreme and now the danger to the others was immense. Jean stood up and telekinetically threw Emma to the ceiling of the boathouse pinning her there.
"I will destroy you! Cleave your mind in two and incinerate you!"
Emma thought of the students asleep in their beds. She thought of Genosha and of how she would be responsible for their deaths. Regret flooded her. She looked at Jean, at the terrible beauty before her, the rage and the eyes burning into her. She was exquisite. An exquisite terror.
"This diamond form will not save you wretch!"
Oh God what have I done?She thought out a million different scenarios, each one ending in her death of course but each one trying to prevent the deaths of the others at the mansion. Jean had created a psychic shield of terrifying power around them thus preventing her from calling for help. However, Emma Frost was a resourceful woman, she didn't get where she was by not excelling in strategies. She thought it out in the blink of an eye. She needed to evoke some empathy in the destroyer before her, attempt some connection with Jean inside this creature, this hellfire incarnate. So she cleared the decks of her mind, projecting a wide arid expanse with a calming greenish tint mixed with a light sky blue. The colours were important for her. Calm yourself Jean she willed to the woman before her as she called her back onto the astral plane and away from the reality of the boathouse. Not a place she wanted to die in was her last thought of the shack before she closed her eyes and instantly faced the Phoenix. She could see the brief look around this new setting that was afforded her and beckoned the Phoenix to come closer. She took her best fighter position and prayed Jean would just stay in her mind to finish this…
Emma stood up after each attack and resumed her fighting position. The Phoenix launched frenzied attack after frenzied attack on her astral self and it tore down every defence she conjured against it. She knew it was taking her longer and longer to recover from the barrage, but she kept getting back up and counterattacking the thing before her. This was Jean after all, Jean beneath the firebird, hovering in its belly, all-consumed and displaying her terrible might on this astral plane. This was Jean she was trying to reach even now when it seemed most hopeless with the voice of the Phoenix piercing her mind, shrieking and breaking her apart from within.
Feeling her power begin to wane both here and in the real world where she was alone with the dark Phoenix in a boat house so close to the mansion, Emma knew her time was near. She bitterly regretted the havoc the Phoenix was going to cause and the lives that would be lost through her indiscretion, her revelation. And yet, the risk had to be taken. For the possibility of loving Jean Grey outweighed the possibility of the situation she was now in. I never considered myself a fool for love she thought wryly. The cool, calm and collected White Queen had been controlled not by her passions but by that long lost acquaintance – hope. This had made her falter. Jean had brought hope into her life, the hope for something better, something purer than what she'd become. The yearning for a love like only Jean could offer. Her heart on a plate. The Phoenix launched itself again and Emma fell to the ground she had created, she felt her face in the hot sand of the expanse they were battling in and Emma finally realised what she wanted and what she now seemed willing to die for…for Jean, for the children.
With this realisation, she got up again from the dirt and stood to face The Phoenix. This time she relaxed her pose and stood straight with her hands at her sides. The desert scene fizzled away as she imagined a forest she had known close to her home as a child. She conjured it all at lightning speed - tall beautiful trees, a myriad of greens, every nook teeming with life and clear blue skies overhead. Bird song, deer, squirrels, and a river close by…in fact anything she could think of for this scene. She stood in a clearing, holding an injured falcon and waited The Phoenix to appear in this new setting. She did not have to wait long.
Ahead she could see the Phoenix blazing towards her as though it were an advance of trees being engulfed by flames but when it finally came to rest mere metres away from Emma, the forest realigned itself and all was momentarily calm. She's thinking Emma realised and made use of the pause as the dark Phoenix took in the images around it. The flames grew tighter around Jean and the wings of flames drew themselves back as Jean looked around. Emma seized her opportunity.
"Jean, before I die there's something I want to say."
Jean's head snapped up towards Emma again and her gaze settled on the falcon in Emma's arms. The flames licked all over her as her voice calmed down from the shrieking to the sensual tones the true Phoenix could communicate in.
"You may speak."
Emma gathered herself together and held the bird out to Jean.
"Will you heal this?"
"Heal what does not exist!" The Phoenix laughed.
"Will you heal this for me?" Emma persisted.
"Your final words are words of nonsense White Queen! Prepare to die!"
Emma took a step towards Jean.
"Jean, will you heal this?" and with those words the falcon faced Emma and spread its wings until it encompassed Emma completely. Its injured wing clear near her left shoulder. It then started to glow a golden white until it cried out and dissolved into Emma's body which now glowed white except where her heart was blackened. There Emma stood before Jean with her heart exposed waiting for the death blow but asking for healing.
The Phoenix flames dimmed as Jean took a step closer to Emma. She stopped hovering and gracefully descended to the forest floor. She cocked her head to the side and whispered in a voice that carried through the trees, one word only: why?
"Why? Because I am asking for forgiveness." Emma spoke steadfastly.
"Why should I forgive you?"
"Because Jean Grey…I love you…and I don't want to die like this."
"How would you like to die then?" The Phoenix asked arrogantly, ignoring the first part of the sentence. Emma stepped towards the Phoenix who seemed quite un-phased by her advance.
"Like this."
With those final words Emma closed the gap between them and kissed Jean gently on the lips trembling slightly as she drew back and looked into the Phoenix' eyes and watched as they changed back to the familiar green. Jean's own voice returned intermittently with the Phoenix'.
"Your memories do not tell of love, Emma." Emma could hear the hurt Jean in the question as well as the lethal Phoenix. "They showed desire, yes, but not love. You are lying."
Emma took hold of Jean's hands and said gravely, "I admit I was attracted to you. I admit I betrayed you with Scott but you know too that I regret that more than anything. You know I have grown fond of you despite my best efforts otherwise. And for this I am willing to die as long as you don't kill anyone else. You may have your revenge if you leave the children alone, if you leave the X-men alone. I am in love with you Jean. I want to be with you. I want to cherish you and to be cherished by you," Emma let go of one of Jean's hands and brought it to her face and cupped her cheek, "for you, Jean, are beyond magnificent, beyond words and I am unworthy of you but still…I want you with me forever. Perhaps because of this one of us must die and well seeing how things are going, that'll be me. But now it's my choice. Just don't harm the others and I will go willingly." Emma then brought one of Jean's hands to her heart and placed it over the open wound until the blackness seeped away and the white enclosed the cavity her heart had been in. Jean stared at where her hand was resting.
"You have healed me, Jean. Not just now, but that first day you walked into my classroom to see if I was alright. You are my saviour and my destroyer and god how I adore you!" Emma dropped her hands to her sides and took a step back awaiting the imminent attack from Jean. Their eyes were locked and the flames started to lick around the edges of Jean's once more. But instead of finishing off her nemesis, Jean stepped towards Emma, reached out and drew her in towards her. She embraced her and Emma felt the heat from where her astral body was burning up against Jean's fire. This is it she thought death comes in so glorious a fashion!
She raised her arms and hugged Jean back with everything she had, her mental shields slipping allowing the greatest of telepaths to strip her bare and annihilate her whilst holding her tight.
But death didn't come. They stood there and Emma felt the intense heat leaving her mind and her astral body no longer burned where it touched the Phoenix. She felt the lightest of kisses on her skin An almost whisper. Emma's knees buckled in relief and joy as she felt another ghosting of lips nearer her neck. The Phoenix pulled back and stared straight at Emma, whose face displayed the beautiful look of hopefulness and relief and Jean was able to contain the Phoenix flame with that wonderment of hope facing her. She smiled slowly. Emma nearly died.
Back in the real world, the Phoenix had vanished and Jean was left telepathically pinning a diamond form Emma to the ceiling of the boat house. They opened their eyes simultaneously and Jean lowered Emma to the floor and walked towards her as Emma did the same changing back to her human form in the process.
"We have much to talk about." Jean started.
"I am so very sorry Jean, for everything, for the risk I took tonight, for-" Jean held a hand up to cut Emma off.
"We have much to talk about…but not right now. I can't right now." Jean slumped her shoulders and Emma drew her towards her for an awkward hug. Jean edged away. "I can't." she murmured. Emma's heart started to shatter; she could feel it there breaking into a million pieces as the cold surrounded her. Emma felt a traitorous tear slide down her cheek. She tilted her head to look at the ceiling in defeat. Jean had turned and started walking away. At the door, she paused, but didn't turn around.
"You looked beautiful tonight," Jean murmured before she left.
"Thank you, darling." Emma whispered to the empty boat house. With that she went to lean back against the wall for support but slid down the wall and sat on the cold floor. Her head in her hands as sobs wracked her body and she wept for Jean, for herself, for the students that died, for everybody and everything she had touched in her sordid life. She wept until the tears would no longer come.