Trust. Chapter 10

I was so warm when I woke up.

So warm, comfy and very confused.

Where was I?

And who were these people in bed with me?

I tried to sit up but was being held down by a huge strong arm. I wriggled and tried to push it away.

"Stay still Bella bear, I am still sleeping here."

"Emmett?"

"Of course it is Emmett, who else were you thinking it would be baby bear?"

"Why are you in bed with me at all Emmie?" I giggled.

"Cause I missed you and Rose and Bubba. Silly bear!"

I managed to sit up now, after getting out from Emmett's grip. I looked and Rose was beside me, starting to wake up.

"Morning Rose."

Is it wrong that I was waking up with her husband beside me?

"Morning Bella. Emmett, let Bella go!"

Emmett had got hold of me again and was trying to get me back into a cuddle. "But I need my Bella bear to go back to sleep…please Rosie…I need more sleep!"

"Emmett, how did you get into this bed without me noticing?"
"You were dreaming Bells. I didn't want you to get scared by yourself. Rose was sleeping when I heard you starting to stir, so I climbed in and cuddled you and you went back to sleep."

Emmett yawned as he explained.

"Oh. Sorry I disturbed your sleep Emmett."

"No worries Bells, I liked sleeping with my girls, might do it every night, eh Rosie."

Rose leaned over and gave her husband a gentle smack on his arm.

"Where's Edwards?"

"Never mind him…you have me now!" Emmett was roaring laughing as he grabbed onto me, and only then did I hear mumbles coming from the mattress on the floor.

"I am down here…Emmett, put her down!"

"Noooooo! I don't want to!"

Rose got up to go to the bathroom, ignoring the scene unfolding behind her. Emmett grabbed hold of me, lifting me easily over his huge body. He dangled me so I could see Edward lying on the floor below, yawning as he was starting to waken up. "Morning Bells…did you get any sleep with that oaf snoring like a chain saw beside you?"

I blushed at this. This was bizarre right?

The man you cared about was asking if I slept well beside his brother. No wait Emmett was my brother; he was doing his job and keeping me safe. I was now hanging upside down. Emmett was just holding me there.

Edward sat up a bit and kissed my cheek while I was still hanging upside down. I started to giggle.

He raised his hand up to my cheek and smiled at me. Our eyes just stared onto each other.

Rose came back in and got into bed beside Emmett.

"Emmett? Why are you hanging Bella upside down?"
"Cause I want to Baby. I like my Bella dolly!"

"Well, I think you need to put her down now. And it's about time you gave me a cuddle instead."

"Edward?"

"Uh Huh?" Edward never looked away from me, and was still holding my cheek. His other hand was pushing hair away from my face.

"Gonna pass her down to you, you ready? Don't break my Bella dolly now man. I trust you here with her."

"I have got her Emmett." He whispered.

Emmett rolled to the side and lowered me down. Edward took hold and pulled me into his arms. I lay down beside him as he pulled the covers over us. I was in his arms and his kissed the top of my head.

"Edward?" I whispered at him?

"Mmmmm?"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"I don't want you to go. The others have had you all night. It's my turn now." He mumbled into my hair.

"I really need to go Edward, I will come right back."

I was trying to wriggle out of his arms. What was it about these Cullen boys and them holding on to me?

"Nope...You are mine now." He was kissing my hair and laughing as he held onto me.

"I need to pee Edward. Let me up!"

Rose and Emmet were laughing now.

"Edward. I am going to pee the bed, let me up now please."

I was laughing but Edward was not letting me go.

"Ewww! Edward, she is gonna pee on you man, let her go!" Emmett was laughing so hard now, it was making me laugh even more but that was not helping the whole need to pee situation.

Just then the door opened and in walked Carlisle and Esme. Oh my god! I was so embarrassed!

"Edward, why is Bella in bed with you?"

Carlisle was standing there, with a smirk on his face and his eyebrow raised. Esme had her arms folded in front of her chest.

"Because it was my turn Dad, Emmett had her most of the night, now it's my turn." He whined.
He did not say that! To his parents! They will think I am a slut! I froze. I started to shake with fear.

"Please let up Edward, please. Now. Let me up now."

I was not laughing anymore. I was terrified and so embarrassed at the whole situation.

"What's wrong Bella? You ok?"

Edward looked at me, tears where now running down my face. I looked away. He let go of his grip as he pushed the hair away from my face. I leapt up and ran crying into the bathroom.

I locked the door behind me, sobbing I curled up in a ball in the corner of the shower.

I could hear gentle knocking on the door as the sobs came louder from me.

"Bella it's Rose. Please let me in?"
I didn't answer her. I looked at the window, wondering if I would be able to escape out that way. I felt trapped. I wrapped my arms around myself and started rocking back and fore.

Esme called in now. "Bella, we are not angry at you, please let us in? Little One please let us in."

She didn't sound angry, but I couldn't move.

"Please baby. Let one of us in. We won't hurt you. We are not angry with you."

I crawled on the floor and unlocked it as quietly as I could and crawled back to my corner.

I waited and then saw the door handle was turning.

I made myself as small as I could and waited for my punishment. I had been lying to myself that this was the dream I had mistaken it for. Here comes the reality of my life. I heard the door open, and braced myself. "I am so sorry, I am so sorry, I am so sorry."

I whispered over and over again. Not that it would help me now, sometimes it just made Jacob angrier and he would just hit me harder. Two arms came round me and held onto me. I stopped moving and held my breath. "Shush, Little One, you have nothing to be sorry about. We are sorry for scaring you."

I was shaking so much now, shivering with cold and fear.

Esme was stroking my hair and comforting me.

It was only then I realised I had wet myself.

I had been so sacred. Now I was surly going to be punished. "Please, don't be angry with me. I will clean it up."

I looked at Esme, and she had tears running down her face. She just leaned in and held me tighter. The door was opening again. "No. please don't let anyone else see me like this. Please I will be good. I promise I will do what you want."

"It's just me Bella." Rose was beside me now, but I heard someone else at the door. I looked up in pure horror. Rose looked at the door and shouted to whoever was there to get out and close the door.

"I am so sorry, I am so embarrassed. Please don't let the boys see me like this. They will be so disgusted with me."

"No one else is coming in Little One. Let's get you all tidied up and dressed. We are not angry at you. Carlisle was just joking with you about being in bed with Edward. We do trust you. It was him trying to be funny with Edward. I am so sorry you were embarrassed by it."

"Mama." I whispered not looking at her. "I didn't do anything rude with him. I promise. I was scared during the night and Emmett kept me safe, Rose you were there. Tell Mum that I was not doing anything, please." I looked up at Rose and she had started crying too.

"Bella, they know it was just your brother holding you to comfort you while you were dreaming, I held you part of the night but he was awake most of the night and held you when you started to have bad dreams."

"I have never slept with a man I promise you, until yesterday I had never even kissed a man, I didn't do anything, I promise you. I am not a whore."

I could hear Jacob's words in my mind. Reminding me I was a worthless whore. I was sobbing now. "I didn't do anything with Edward either, I like him. But he was just playing, Emmett put me there!"

I was frantic with explanation now. "Please don't make me go back!"

"Bella we know you will need to hear this time and time again before you believe us, but we love you. We don't think you are a whore or anything like that. We just love you. We need you to stay and be part of our family. And we hope you will get used to the way we joke around, but will try our best to remember you are not used to our silly ways."

I looked up at the two women in front of me.

"I love you all too."

"Can we get you sorted now, and get back to those boys who are freaking out that they hurt you?"

"Can you help me please? Mum? Rose?"

They both nodded at me. Smiling and wiping their tears away.

Rose got up asking what I wanted to wear.

"I have the clothes from yesterday. They are really all I have."

"I can get them for you, I think they should be dry now or I can go see what else I have of mine that would be quicker? But it is up to you my darling."

"Do you have something I could borrow please Rose?"

"Sure Bella, I will be right back."

"There is some underwear in the bag in the wardrobe, I found them yesterday Rose, Alice had them for some reason."

Rose nodded at Esme, kissed me on the head and told me she would be right back.

"I am so sorry for my behaviour this morning."

"You have nothing to be sorry for little one, now let me you get sorted, do you want me to leave you or help you?"

"I need some help please." I couldn't look up. I was breaking inside. I have never felt as vulnerable in all my life as I did right now.

"I am broken. They have broken me."

"Who broke you Little One?" she whispered to me.

"They people who were supposed to keep me safe." I could only whisper back to her.

"They didn't deserve you Bella. They should have loved you like the precious gift you are. We will love you."

"Thank you for helping me."

"You are welcome, now come on lets get you warmed up. You must be so cold now."

I stood up with Esme's help. I started to take off the pyjamas I had on. I turned round to hide myself and heard Esme gasp. I had forgotten about the bruises I had on my back. It didn't hurt so much now but looked bad.

Jacob had hit me a few days ago. I couldn't even remember what I had done to upset him. Not that it took much to make him lash out at me.

"Who did this to you?"

"It doesn't matter Mama, it doesn't hurt now."

I carried on taking off the bottoms, and was left in my panties. "Where can I put these?" I was mortified at this but I needed to get cleaned up.

"Give them here little one."

"No!" I held onto them. "Don't touch them they are dirty, they are dirty like me!"

"Bella take a deep breath, it is ok. I don't mean it is ok that you felt so sacred that you ended up with wet clothes, but it is ok that we deal with this now. Put them in the washing hamper and we will sort it all out in a bit." She didn't look cross with me.

She turned and started the shower up.

I peeled off my panties and put them in the hamper too. I stepped into the water and felt it run down my body. I stood with my back to Esme who was humming away to herself. I sat down on the shower seat and felt my body relax. I had never been naked in front of anyone like this. But she was my life line. She was my mother now. I had to trust her and allow myself to be loved.

"Do you want your hair washed? You have such beautiful hair."

"Yes please Mum."

I looked back up at Esme and saw her smile again.

She washed my hair then added conditioner.

"I do like the smell of this conditioner. I must ask Alice to get you some more."

She handed me a sponge with shower gel on it.

I looked as she made herself busy tidying up the bathroom. I washed myself and rinsed everything off.

After I was done I squeezed the water out of my hair.

Esme wrapped me in a huge bath towel and then wrapped up my hair like a turban.

"Thank you for taking care of me." I looked into her eyes trying to show her how much I really meant what I was trying to tell her. I was trying to tell her how much I trusted and loved her. How much I wanted to love and trust her more than I did right now.

"Thank you for letting me Sweetie."

She hugged me, holding onto me till Rose came in.

"Are the boys angry with me?"

"No not at all. They are all upset that they made you cry. Edward is upset with himself at not letting you go when you asked him to, he thought you were playing."

"You didn't tell him I wet myself did you? Please tell me you didn't tell him that…"

"Course not I wouldn't do that. Now clothes, I got you some sweat pants, a tea shirt, a sweatshirt and underwear. Let's see, pink tea shirt, so a pink set." Rose was talking away to herself. "Sorry there is so much pink I did have a pink thing going on when I was younger. Well I think Alice had a pink think and got me these pink things."

The clothes hardly looked worn at all. I slipped the panties on under my towel and Rose handed me the bra.

"It is so pretty, thank you." I blushed. Rose just smiled and replied. "Every girl feels good in nice underwear. And you are such a pretty girl little sister."

I put the bra and tea shirt on. Esme spoke up.

"Bella Do you have any more bruised or injuries?"

"No I don't think so, just that one but it is almost better now."

"I wonder if you would let Carlisle have a look at it, he is very gentle and you do not need to worry about him hurting you. We will stay with you."

"Are the boys downstairs?" Esme nodded her head.

"It will just be us three and Carlisle, if you are not comfortable then I will take you to see one of his friends at the hospital. I just want to make sure you are not hurt."

"It's ok. I trust him."

Rose handed me the dressing gown and I wrapped it up around me.

We walked into the bedroom and it was just Carlisle who was there.

"May I?" he held his arms out to me. I nodded and walked into his arms, apologising for what had happened before.

"No need little one. We need to remember that you are not used to us joking like we do, I am sorry for embarrassing you."

"Carlisle, Bella has a bruise on her back, can you have a look at it please."

"Did this happen here Bella?" I shook my head. "No. It was a few days ago." I took off my dressing gown and turned round lifting up my shirt to show him.

He looked at my back and asked a few questions as he checked out my bruise. I knew he could see the other scars on my body. "I am really clumsy Carlisle."

"You didn't do all of these though did you?"

"Not all of them." I lowered my head.

"I want you to stop feeling the shame I can see on your face. Can you tell me who did this to you?"

"Jacob did. Please do not send me back to them."

"Do you hurt anywhere else?"

I shook my head. "I will be right back. Do you want to get dressed now?" I could only nod at this gentle man in front of me.

Rose appeared with rest of my clothes and I put them on. Carlisle was back with a small tube. "This will help the bruising. Apply a small amount a few times a day."

I turned and he lifted my top. Mum held it in place as he gently applied it to my skin. "Thank you Bella, you have been very brave."

I turned and hugged him. "Thank you for being so kind Carlisle."

"It is my pleasure Bella, that's what family do. They take care of each other."

I nodded. I will do my best to make this man proud of me.

"Let's go see what's for breakfast. I think the boys are cooking." He smiled at me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I need to go sort some washing out and tidy the bathroom first."

"It's all done Bella." Esme was beside me and linking her arm through mine. "Please tell me you didn't leave those boys alone in my kitchen Carlisle. Last time they almost burned the place down!"

"Rose is down there with them Darling, it will be ok."

I started smiling at these people beside me.

I was on a roller coaster on emotions today.

At this moment my heart was full of hope and joy.