Homer

"Come on, FiFi," Homer begged as he followed his lifetime crush around the endless filed of grain. "Please? I promise I'll protect you in all ways. I'll even take an arrow for you."

"No," Fiona said through gritted teeth, hating the "fun nickname" Homer decided to come up with for her. "I don't need any protection. Do you not see this?" Fiona held up the bow and sheath of arrows she was able to retrieve from just meters of the Cornucopia she had just happenly reached.

Unfortunately, that also allowed her annoying school crush to reach her as well.

"Okay," Homer corrected. "I'll be silent the whole time and do anything you want. Please, FiFi. I just want to spend my last moments with you."

Wow, Fiona thought. This guy is soooooooo corny. She opened her mouth to dismiss him – for, like, the eightieth time – when an idea crept to her mind. So, instead, she said, "Sure, Homer, why not?"

"FiFi?" Homer said, standing up suddenly. They had found a nice place to make camp for the night and Homer had been chewing viciously on a rabbit or something that Fiona had shot earlier, but he now realized that his crush was nowhere in sight. "FiFi? FiFi?" He was quite worried now; what if she had been killed by the Careers? He stood up. "FiFi! FiFi! Fiona! Fiona! Fi –"

"Shut up, idiot," a hissed whisper came from above. "I'm up here." Homer tilted his round head up a bit and, sure enough, he found his FiFi crouched on a low branch in a nearby tree. An arrow was notched.

"What is it, FiFi?" Homer asked eagerly. "Did you find a squirrel?" The rabbit Fiona had shot was quite small for his taste (his father owned the only meat store in District 11) and he still wasn't full yet.

Instead, Fiona's brows wrinkled in disgust. How could she have been so unlucky to have that following her around like a puppy?

"FiFi?" Homer said again.

"What?" Fiona snapped.

"Did you find a –" Homer began again.

"No," Fiona snarled. "I didn't find a squirrel."

"Then why do you have your arrow there?"

"Because I found you."

Homer was quite confused.

The last thing he heard before he blacked out was: "Goodbye, sweetheart."