AN: I'm not sure about about the rules of tennis.
"Light! I challenge you to a tennis match!" L screamed suddenly at school one day. Light thought about this declaration carefully. "This must be a big hint. This may lead me to finding out his real name." Light thought silently. He squinted his eyes at L and looked at him suspiciously, much like how Joseph looked at the Virgin Mary. A multitude of thoughts rushed through Light's mind. This could be it! The only adversary who stood in the way of Light's journey to godhood would be vanquished if only he could decipher this obvious clue. In the end, Light settled with saying, "okay. But beware - I'm very good."
The next day, they got their rackets and balls and waltzed into the tennis court at school like pros. They had hired an umpire to judge their match, and he took his seat at the edge of the court. It was L's turn to serve. He threw the ball high into the air and smashed it with his racket. Unfortunately, Light was busy trying to balance his racket on the tip of his finger. There were girls laughing at him outside the court, who he was flirting with. "30-Love!" The umpire declared. Light's mouth dropped in shock. He swore at the top of his voice, held his racket properly and got into position this time. It was L's turn to serve again. This time, Light tried to swing his racket to hit the powerful serve back with all his strength but the racket flew right out of his hand and over the net. L laughed and simply hit Light's racket with his own, causing the tool to fly over the court and into Light's face. It left him with a checkered, red mark on his left cheek. "15-Love!" The truth is, Light had never played tennis before. In fact, he just bought the racket right after L declared his challenge the day before. By that time, a crowd had began to gather. The men were discussing how amazing they were at tennis, while the girls were taking off their shirts, screaming "Light! LIGHT!" and masturbating. However, Light and L took no notice. L served once more, but Light was not paying attention again. He had discovered 1 Yen on the floor behind him, so he bent down to pick it up greedily. (Light was very poor, you see.) The ball slammed right into Light's asshole. Light screamed like a little girl, and his fangirls' hearts fluttered. L continued to thrash Light until the last point. Then, Light was panting and sweating and trying his very best, but he could do nothing to gain a point. He whispered to Ryuk, "DO SOMETHING!" For he greatly did not wish to lose. Ryuk did something, alright. When L was going to serve again, for the 11the time, Ryuk made his horrible, colossal, black dick appear in front of L's eyes right as he tossed the furry ball above his head. L started screaming crazily and fell to the floor. Light's fangirls jumped up and down to cheer. The men appreciated their naked bouncing boobs. Light joined them in celebration. He was ecstatic to earn his first point, but his smile died instantly from his lips when L scored the next point, and won the competition. "Hideki wins!" It was very pitiful, really. Like Light 1, L 24. Light was furious. He hid his head and arms in his shirt and wrote the umpire's name on the Rape Note.
After Ryuk was done having 'fun' with the umpire, including inserting of balls and rackets into very tight spaces, L eyed Light suspiciously. "Hm… I have a very slight suspicion that you could be…" He started, but stopped mid-sentence. "Nah. No way." L finished. Light chuckled nervously.