DISCLAIMER: Nothing is mine.

Chapter 10: Just Give Me A Reason

August, 1948

It had been two weeks since Fiyero had moved out. In terms of arranging custody of the kids, it was going smoothly, although Elphaba expected hiccups once the boys started school in the fall and their normal routines resumed. She and Fiyero could definishly say they were fighting less since he'd moved out, but that may be helped by the fact they hadn't really talked.

The kids were with Fiyero this weekend, Elphaba's first weekend without them. When Fiyero brought them home early Sunday afternoon, she couldn't stop herself from greeting them at the front door before they'd even really got through the front gate.

"Hi, Momma!" Jiyah greeted her, squirming out of Fiyero's arms to run towards her.

"Hi, sweets," Elphaba replied, crouching down and hugging her tightly. "Did you have a nice weekend with Daddy?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't have any cookies."

Elphaba chuckled.

"Do we have cookies, Mom?" Jozua asked her.

"We do," Elphaba confirmed. Then glanced at Jiyah, waiting for her to realise Fiyero was leaving and start crying.

"Why don't you go get one for each of you?" she said to Jozua, hoping a cookie would be a suitable distraction.

Sure enough, Jiyah's face lit up. "Cookie?"

"Only one each," she warned Jozua, straightening up. "I don't want you spoiling your appetite for dinner."

Jozua nodded and led the way inside, leaving his parents standing alone on the porch.

"How was your weekend?" Fiyero asked her, his brow creased faintly.

Elphaba sighed and gave a small shrug. "Fine, I guess. Quiet."

One corner of his mouth turned up. "Yeah," he said knowingly.

Fiyero paused, sighed and then stared at her feet. "So, I've been thinking."

Elphaba had to swallow the response that was on the tip of her tongue. "I- yes. About what?"

"Us," Fiyero said slowly. "Figuring this out."

"OK," Elphaba replied warily.

"How do you feel about going to marriage counselling?"

Fiyero couldn't help but smile at the expression on her face. "I saw that coming," he told her.

Elphaba shifted uncomfortably. "I don't love the idea of talking to a stranger about our problems," she said honestly.

"I get that," Fiyero acknowledged. "But do you have an alternative on how to fix this without counselling?"

"It's only been two weeks," Elphaba protested.

"And this is the longest conversation we've had in that time," Fiyero pointed out. "Fae, you've said you want me to be more realistic. This is me being realistic. If neither of us really knows what went wrong, how do we know how to fix it?"

"But therapy?" Elphaba asked with a grimace.

"Not therapy. Counselling," Fiyero corrected.

"I'm not sure there's as big of a difference between the two as you think."

Fiyero shrugged. "I just think it's worth a try. At least one session, to see how it goes? If you don't feel comfortable, we don't have to go back. But, I just don't have any other ideas. You wanted a plan," he reminded her.

"This is my plan."

Elphaba hesitated. "It is a plan," she said slowly.

"Just think about it?" Fiyero pleaded with her.

"Ok. I'll think about it," she agreed.

Elphaba didn't love the idea of talking with a stranger about their marriage. The mere thought of it immediately made her put her walls up.

But at the same time, Fiyero had a point. This was a plan, at least, and she had no more idea than he did about how to fix their problems.

After trying to overcome her misgivings on the subject, Elphaba forced herself to go to Kalhey for advice. She took the kids over one morning for a playdate with Sabella and Zakhar the next weekend, and as the kids played together, Kalhey served them both lemonade.

"I hope you don't mind if I talk to you about this whole thing," Elphaba began uncertainly.

"Of course not," Kalhey reassured her. "You know that. I may not have any advice, but I'm happy to listen."

Elphaba was still somewhat hesitant. She'd confided in Kalhey before, but it seemed different now. But she was woefully short of people to talk to, without Fiyero around, and between Kalhey and Totit, Kalhey seemed the better choice.

"Fiyero wants to try marriage counselling," she finally said.

"Ok. And… you don't?" Kalhey asked hesitantly.

Elphaba grimaced. "I don't love the idea of telling all our problems to a stranger. Or anyone, really."

Kalhey nodded knowingly. She'd known Elphaba since they'd first come to Limelle, and although they were friendly (after the initial wariness on Elphaba's part), they hadn't really become good friends until Elphaba had fallen pregnant with Jozua. If motherhood wasn't a bonding experience, what was? Although as Kalhey had once told Elphaba after she'd found out about the separation,

"I personally delivered all three of your children. What topics could possibly be off limits after that?"

Elphaba had chuckled and agreed, but still didn't often discuss her and Fiyero's relationship. Kalhey still knew nothing of the problems leading up to the separation besides the fact they had been arguing constantly, and had actually only found out about it from Alvar who had heard it from Fiyero.

"Who is it easy for you to talk to?" she asked Elphaba now. "Fiyero?"

"It was," Elphaba agreed. "But even that took a few months after getting together. And it's gone now. I mean, sometimes I feel like it's there, but it's all so strange now. I keep forgetting he's not going to be there when I get home."

Kalhey smiled sympathetically but Elphaba stared into her glass of lemonade.

"I've never really had anyone I could confide in," she revealed. "I mean, except for… a friend… once."

It still surprised Elphaba, even now, her ready impulse that long ago night after the dance at the OzDust, to tell Glinda- then Galinda- her deepest secret, she who had only just barely turned from foe to friend.

"Well, I've never done marriage counselling," Kalhey said. "But my parents did and they seem to have found it helpful."

Elphaba frowned. "Your parents are divorced," she reminded her. "How is that helpful?"

"It was a really peaceful divorce," Kalhey shrugged. "I mean, my dad was at the wedding when my mom remarried."

Elphaba was sure Fiyero would not find that as reassuring as Kalhey had intended, but in a way, Elphaba drew a small measure of comfort from that story.

"I have had counselling, as a kid and an adult. It is a weird experience," Kalhey admitted.

She shook her head slightly. "I mean, when you're there spilling your guts and then they just stare at you and nod, like they're expecting more but you have nothing to say. It's awkward. But, in the long run, I found it really helpful."

Elphaba craned her neck as a particularly loud cry came from the back garden. There didn't appear to be any blood or tears from any of the children, so she relaxed back into her chair and sighed.

"I feel like if I don't do it, it's like I'm not willing to try and fix things. That I'm giving up," Elphaba admitted.

"I don't want to give up. Not if we have a chance. But… I'm not good at this."

Kalhey considered that. "Maybe," she said slowly. "I mean, you said you can talk to Fiyero, right? If you do the counselling, it might be easier to try to think of it as just talking to Fiyero."

"With someone else in the room?"

"Yes. But they're there to mediate, to guide. Not to judge."

Elphaba said nothing, but looked thoughtful.

"Have you read that book for book club yet?" Kalhey tried changing the topic.

Elphaba winced. "Uh, no. I think I'm going to sit this month out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. The last thing I feel like reading about right now is someone else's successful relationship, even fictional."

Kalhey smiled sympathetically. "I understand that."

"Have you read it?"

"I've read the first three sentences about five times," Kalhey said ruefully. "I keep either getting interrupted or falling asleep. But I'll get there."

They ended up staying the whole day. The kids were playing peacefully, and Elphaba and Kalhey were enjoying having some adult conversation. The kids moved inside to play board games in Sabella's bedroom as the day got warmer, and Jiyah fell asleep on the sofa and napped for a few hours.

It was late afternoon when there came the sound of the front door opening and voices echoed towards the kitchen. A moment later, Alvar and Fiyero entered the kitchen. A myriad of emotions flickered across both Elphaba and Fiyero's faces in just a second, before an awkward silence settled upon the kitchen.

"Hey," Fiyero finally said to his wife. "I didn't know you'd be here."

Elphaba quirked an eyebrow slightly, and Fiyero hastily added, "I just meant… um, hi."

"Hi," Elphaba replied. "The kids are in Bella's room playing. I'm sure they'd like to see you."

Fiyero broke into a smile. "Yeah, ok," he agreed and headed in that direction.

Even from the kitchen, they could hear Jiyah's excited cry of "Daddy!"

Kalhey turned to Elphaba. "You and the kids should stay for dinner," she suggested.

"You already fed us lunch," Elphaba protested.

"So? We'll feed you dinner."

Alvar grimaced. "Um, Kal. I kinda invited Yero to stay for dinner."

Kalhey faltered. "Oh."

"It's ok," Elphaba reassured her. "Like I said, you've put up with us all day."

"No-"

"I'm sorry, El," Alvar said apologetically.

"No, don't be silly," Elphaba replied brusquely.

"What's going on?" Fiyero returned to the kitchen, a beaming Jiyah perched on his hip.

Kalhey jumped in quickly. "I was just inviting Elphaba and the kids to stay for dinner."

Fiyero and Jiyah's faces both lit up.

"You'll stay, right?" Fiyero asked Elphaba, unabashedly hopeful.

Elphaba didn't have it in her to say no.

"If you're sure that's ok," she said slowly. She was addressing Kalhey and Alvar, even as she looked to Fiyero.

"Of course," Alvar said quickly.

Fiyero nodded minutely, looking terribly pleased.

So, Elphaba found herself sitting down to dinner opposite Fiyero. The kids were already pumped up by a day of playing and sugar, but to have both their parents at the same table for a meal was sending them through the roof. Elphaba knew Jiyah would crash fairly quickly, and she only hoped the boys would settle down in time for bed.

It was the most relaxed Elphaba had felt around Fiyero since he'd moved out. She didn't feel the need to censor every sentence in case it led to an argument, because having Kalhey and Alvar there seemed to do that naturally.

It was almost eight when they took their leave, past both Jiyah and Cale's bed times and even Jozua was beginning to visibly tire.

Elphaba didn't protest when Fiyero scooped an almost asleep Jiyah into his arms and said he'd walk them home. She was quiet as they walked through the darkening streets of Limelle towards the house, Fiyero by her side and Jozua and Cale a few paces ahead of them.

"Mom, can I unlock the door?" Jozua asked as they rounded the corner onto their street and the house came into view.

Elphaba handed him her keys without argument. "Don't run," she said simply.

Naturally, he immediately ran off, Cale at his heels. Elphaba heaved a sigh but didn't bother calling out to reprimand them.

"I should have left the porch light on," Elphaba said, almost to herself.

"There's still enough light," Fiyero pointed out. "They'll be alright."

He looked up at the sky, the rays of the setting sun illuminating the few clouds in the sky a brilliant red.

"Oz, I love daylight savings."

Elphaba couldn't help but smile. "You always say that every year, after you've spent the first half of the summer complaining about daylight savings."

"Well, it takes me half the summer to adjust to it now. I'm old," he grinned.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "You're thirty-six."

Fiyero groaned and readjusted Jiyah in his arms. "Only thirty-six? Sometimes it feels like a hundred and six."

Although to be fair, neither of them was sure how true that was. They were a little hazy on whether Fiyero had physically aged while in his Scarecrow form.

"It doesn't really matter, I guess," Fiyero had once said on the subject. "Even if I didn't age, I'm still older than you."

"Yeah, but not wiser," Elphaba had retorted with a smirk, even as she rolled her eyes at him.

Remaining older than her would be what he deemed important.

Elphaba drew to a stop and turned to Fiyero as they approached the house. "I can take her from here," she offered, holding out her arms to take Jiyah.

Fiyero hesitated, but then nodded and handed her over gently. "Sure. Well, I'll see you on Monday, I guess."

He made to leave with a small wave, but Elphaba stopped him.

"I'll do it. The marriage counselling."

Fiyero turned back, undeniable hope on his face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" Fiyero winced and tried to backtrack. "I mean, not 'why' but-"

"It's ok," Elphaba cut him off before he could talk himself into a corner. "I know what you meant, Fiyero."

"I know you don't love the idea," Fiyero said quietly.

"I don't," she admitted. "But you're right, this is a plan, at least. And I don't have any idea of how to fix this- if we can be fixed."

Elphaba met his gaze openly, her tone soft. "What it really comes down to is that I love you more than I hate the idea of therapy-"

"Counselling."

"Whatever. I'll do it. I'll try, at least. I can't promise it'll be easy for me."

"I know," Fiyero said gently. "Thanks, Fae."

Elphaba smiled faintly and nodded. "Ok. Well… goodnight."

"Night."

As Elphaba headed towards the house, and Fiyero turned away to return to his dark and empty cottage, for once his heart was light.

Elphaba hadn't said she believed they could fix their marriage. But she loved him enough to try. That counted for something, right?

When Fiyero arrived at the house at noon on Monday from work, ready to pick up the kids for the afternoon so Elphaba could go to work, he was surprised when Elphaba greeted him with a piece of paper.

"I did some research," she said. "There's a marriage counsellor right here in Limelle, Dr Palloa."

"That's handy," Fiyero replied, a little surprised that there was one in town. He'd expected they'd have to travel to Dorbush, the biggest town nearby.

"How did you do research this quickly?" he asked her.

"I looked in the town directory," Elphaba shrugged nonchalantly.

Fiyero figured he shouldn't have been surprised.

"I'll send a message over this afternoon and see when we can get an appointment."

"Are you sure? I don't mind-"

"No, its fine. I don't think his office is far from the store."

"OK," Fiyero agreed. "Well, any time is fine with me. Just let me know when."

Elphaba nodded.

Fiyero rounded up the kids and shepherded them out the door. "Ok, guys lets go. Momma's got to get to work."

"I want to go with Momma!" Jiyah insisted, gripping her mother's hand.

"Aw, come on, Princess," Fiyero beseeched her. "Don't you want to come to my house? We're going to have cookie cutter sandwiches for lunch! You love those!"

Jiyah shook her head, blonde curls tumbling around her face. "I want to go with Momma," she said stubbornly, her lower lip beginning to tremble.

Fiyero sighed and looked to Elphaba. "She gets that from you, you know," he told her.

Elphaba rolled her eyes and knelt down to speak with her daughter.

"Sweets, you can't come to work with me today," she said gently. "You'll have so much more fun with Daddy and your brothers. And then I'll see you at dinner, ok?"

"No," Jiyah pouted, her grip on Elphaba tightening.

Elphaba and Fiyero exchanged a glance. Then Fiyero nodded slightly and braced himself as Elphaba gently eased Jiyah's hand out of hers, not without difficulty. Jiyah started to sob and Fiyero lifted her into his arms as Elphaba hastily grabbed her bag and keys.

"Come on, boys. Let's go," Fiyero said over Jiyah's wails and led them out the door.

"No, I want Momma!" Jiyah's sobs pierced Elphaba painfully as they all left the house, Fiyero and the kids turning right towards his house, and Elphaba turning left for the walk into town.

It always broke Elphaba's heart to watch Jiyah leave in tears. And she knew there was a very good chance that Jiyah would go through the same thing when Fiyero returned them and left for his house later tonight. They just didn't know what to do anymore. In the beginning, they'd tried reasoning with her, even bribing her. It had only taken a few days to realise they couldn't do that all the time, and sometimes, all they could do was leave.

When Elphaba arrived at Chapter Two, there was only a few customers inside.

"Hi, Elphaba!" Totit greeted her brightly from behind the counter, where she sat perched on a stool.

"Hi. Has it been busy this morning?" Elphaba asked rather distractedly.

"A bit of a rush about half an hour ago. This is the tail end of it."

Elphaba nodded in acknowledgment and surveyed the store.

"Do you need to rush off?" she asked Totit suddenly.

Totit looked a little surprised. Unless they were incredibly busy, Elphaba didn't normally ask her to stay, and the few people in the store hardly counted as 'incredibly busy'.

"No, not really. Do you need to me to stay?"

"Just for a few minutes, if you don't mind. I have a quick errand I have to run," Elphaba explained.

"Sure. I can spare a few minutes," Totit agreed.

Elphaba thanked her and left the store. As per the city directory had stated, the office was on the other end of the town centre. As she identified the correct building, Elphaba stilled and tried to examine the building nonchalantly.

It was a small, non-descript brick building, single story. Elphaba wasn't sure what she'd been expecting- someone standing there to point and single her out as someone who had screwed up her marriage.

But it was just an ordinary office building, nestled between a bakery and the dentist's office. A single sign over the doorway read 'Dr Herk Palloa. Psychologist'.

Elphaba faltered, braced herself and entered the office. Five minutes later, she emerged, a small slip of paper gripped tightly in her hand.

"Tuesday September fourteenth. Three o'clock," she said brusquely to Fiyero when he returned the kids to her that evening.

Fiyero blinked at her. "That's like a month away," he said.

She shrugged. "What do you want from me? It was the next free appointment he had."

Fiyero frowned slightly.

"Look, unless you want to go into Dorbush, we don't have another option," Elphaba said impatiently. "This was your idea, remember? I can't help-"

"Ok, ok," Fiyero cut her off. "It's fine. I guess."

He didn't really want to go into Dorbush. They tried to avoid large towns.

Elphaba was clearly irritated by his lack of enthusiasm, but Fiyero didn't want to tell her he'd envisioned starting counselling that same week and possibly being home again with a few weeks.

"It's fine," he said again, forcing himself to sound more positive. "Really, Fae. September fourteenth. I got it. I really appreciate it," he added softly.

Elphaba avoided his gaze. "I said I'd try, didn't I?"

"It'll help," Fiyero promised her, although both of them knew he could promise no such thing. "We can fix this."

Elphaba looked up at him. "Goodnight Fiyero," she said quietly and then went inside and closed the front door behind her.

Fiyero remained confident even as he turned and headed home. They could fix this. They had to. Because he didn't know if he could live with the alternative option.

Chapter Title Song: "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk feat. Nate Ruess

AN. You guys... your reviews from the last chapter and your support mean a lot. It's the little things at the moment, and even just a little sentence about a part or line that you liked has just made my day. Thank you.