The Long Christmas Eve

Amanda and her mother are decorating their Christmas tree.

Christmas brings out the sentimental worst in my mother. It never fails, and now she has Project Dean to work on. At least I can placate her with the promise that he will be here for Christmas dinner. Considerate to a fault. Not very long ago, I wouldn't have thought that was possible. But what's consideration if you don't have any …. passion? Beyond meteorology, that is.

Lee and Amanda drive towards Rudolph's cabin…

Oh, I didn't mean to slip up and mention fatherless children. Now he knows that I know. I suppose it's for the best. We've known each other for three months, he's committed treason to save my life, and yet the only personal things I know about him I've had to hear from other people. Maybe if he knows that I know a bit about his history, he won't be so reticent about talking about himself.

Oh, listen to him going on about how the way he spends Christmas isn't lonely. He's got the script so perfected, I bet he almost believes it himself. The ultimate scenario. But just when I thought he was going to leave it at that, he goes and starts talking about his life growing up on his uncle's military bases. Will Christmas miracles never cease. A little chink in the Lee Stetson armour.

Walking through the woods towards Rudolph's cabin …

Speaking of the military, I wonder whether this forced march isn't some kind of test. Or punishment. Scarecrow likes to work alone, and I'm only here because I'm a plausible substitute for Rudolph's daughter.

Ouf! What is Lee doing on top of me? This can't have anything to do with maintaining his cover, because he doesn't have a cover on this case. Could he be making another pass at me? Everything I hear about him around the Agency tells me that he's bedded pretty much every female agent he's worked with, so maybe it's my turn. Or … not. God, how embarrassing. I might as well be wearing a t-shirt that reads "Take me you big stud", except he'd still manage to overlook it. His tastes clearly don't run to suburban housefrau, no matter how gallantly he may treat me.

Inside Rudolph's cabin …

Poor Mr. Rudolph. How terrible not to recognize your own daughter. I feel terrible lying to him, but Lee says that other agents will die if Rudolph doesn't believe that I'm Karen for at least as long as it takes to bring him back to the Agency.

I know Lee is the best there is, but this seems like a hopeless situation. How can he just walk out there knowing those two KGB agents are trying to kill him, kill us? When life throws him a problem, his first instinct if to respond with violence. I'm sure it's served him well, but it could also get him killed. But he won't listen to me.

Oh no. Lee. Too much blood. What can I do? I have to make him comfortable, have to clean the wound, have to figure out a way to get us all out of here. If our odds were bad with two healthy agents with guns, they are non-existent with just one. I don't want to go against Lee's wishes, but it's time to call that truce, or else he's going to die and that's just not acceptable. And I can't keep pretending to be Karen Rudolph. I'm sorry to cause this Rudolph man any more pain than he's already suffered, but he needs to know why I have to risk my own life to save Lee's.

I've never walked in front of a KGB firing squad before. But there's really no other way. Maybe if I appeal to their basic human goodness. I know that Lee and Mr. Rudolph don't believe that these Russians have any good inside them, but I can't agree with that. I've never been more scared, but then again, the stakes have never been quite so important.

Now that Dmitri is back from the car with our first aid supplies, I'm feeling much calmer. There's something I can do to keep myself occupied. I can help Lee and Ivan, I can cook, and I can make sure all these male egos don't break my Christmas truce.

Lee under the influence of several shots of Russian vodka is a sight to behold. He's let his guard down and he's friendlier. Funnier. A lot more honest. If I have to spend Christmas away from my family, this is where I want to be. With him, singing Christmas carols with the KGB.

The next morning, Amanda wakes up on her living room sofa.

Home. I can't believe I made it home. Here in my warm living room, with presents under the Christmas tree, and my two wonderful boys to wake me up. This is what I wish for everyone I care about. Poor Lee, alone in his hospital room. I'll just call him. Because everyone deserves to know that they're in someone's thoughts at Christmastime.