Hey everyone! Here's chapter 10! It's pretty much all in Matthew's head.

There's an author's note at the end, if y'all wouldn't mind reading it, it would really be awesome.

Chapter 10: Sift Flour, Salt, and Baking Powder

By the time he had reached his house, Matthew still hadn't run out of tears.

He was used to people forgetting about him, so why did it hurt so much this time? Maybe it was the combination of how loud Lovino's exclamation was and the crippling disappointment he felt.

He'd never really been yelled at before. Only by Alfred, but never that angrily, and besides, Alfred was just naturally loud.

He flopped down unceremoniously onto his squashy couch, tears slowing. 'Get over it, Mattie, you should be used to this. No one ever remembers you. Everyone always forgets you. That's just the way life is. Just because someone noticed you doesn't mean anything more.' he told himself. 'Alfred was right. He's always right. You just got hurt. Get used to it and stop trying.'

He thought Lovino might never like him, no matter what. Will anyone? Was it all in his head?

And maple why did he do this to himself? He didn't feel like it was worth it. When Lovino had seen him, he thought maybe this time it'd be different. He thought they could help each other and find happiness together. But now he wished he could stay invisible forever. Those rare moments he would be seen would just serve as disappointing reminders of what could have been.

"Who're you?" Kuma asked as he wandered into the living room, and Matthew burst into another round of sobs, curling up tightly into himself.

Matthew didn't understand it. He knew he wasn't very noticeable, and he knew he usually wasn't audible. But Lovino had really seemed to see him and accept him. Maybe even like him.

That was all Matthew ever wanted: for someone to know him, to love him for who he was. No one understood how hard it was to be invisible. He knew he hid a lot, using his invisibility as a shield when things got upsetting or awkward, but sometimes he just wanted people to see him. Just wanted Lovino to see him. He knew it was hard to trust people if no one can see you and if they usually forgot about you. But he thought he'd found that one person, that one special person, who could see him. Hear him. Listen to him. Trust him. Love him. Save him. So he trusted him fully. Immediately. He gave his heart, believing that Lovino wouldn't break it, that he could understand just how important it was to Matthew.

And Matthew knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up or assumed his feelings were reciprocated. He was alone; he'd always been alone. But this time it's worse, because this time it hurts. He hoped this would be the last time he blindly trusts, the last time he gets his hopes up for nothing, because he honestly didn't know if he could handle it again.

He got out most of the ingredients for pancakes and began to cook miserably, questions racing through his mind.

He wondered if he could have done anything differently. He wondered if he'd done anything right, or anything wrong for that matter.

He questioned why he assumed things and if he'd built everything up in his head. He wondered what he did to cause Lovino to be so angry.

He started playing through different scenarios in his mind: how things could have gone, how he wanted things to go. Shaking himself from the deep retreat into his mid, he realized it was no use. Complaining and wishing things were different wouldn't solve anything.

He sat at his small table with his plate of pancakes and stared at them sadly. He'd never gotten to see if Lovino tried his pancakes.

He grimaced as he took a bite. For the first time in his life, he'd made awful pancakes. They tasted like Arthur had made them.

Maybe Alfred would let him know what Lovino thought of his pancakes. Speaking of Alfred, the meeting should have ended hours ago. He had thought his brother would stop by at some point to see if he was ok, but apparently not.

He wondered why he'd let himself get that excited or happy. He hadn't been that excited in years. It's not like Lovino ever talked to him. They never had a conversation. Hell, Lovino probably never even saw him until that day he stopped Ivan. Why had he expected anything at all?

And why was he still crying so hard? Maple, he couldn't remember the last time he cried this much. If he got this emotional now, he dreaded the day when things got inevitably worse.

He didn't know why he was still so shaken. He'd just been so nervous and so damn excited in the first place. The emotional roller coaster was too much to take, especially since most days were so constant.

Life always passed like a blur, but ever since Lovino had noticed him, the blur came to a screeching halt and things were clear. Confusing and terrifying, yes, but the haze had lifted.

He didn't know what he was going to do at the next meeting. Will Lovino have already forgotten him by then? Would he get another chance? He couldn't imagine anyone else coming close to the way he felt, feels, about Lovino.

He knew it could and probably would hurt him more in the long run, but he couldn't give up. Not yet. He felt like he'd been so close, even to just be friends. He was lost though and didn't know what else to do or where to go from here.

Matthew tried to sleep. Every time he would doze off, his dreams were of him and Lovino. Happy. Together. Perfect. But he'd wake up too soon. No matter who hard he'd tried, he'd wake up before he was ready to end his dreams.

So he gave up on sleeping for the night, because his dreams weren't reality and they just added to his sadness. He tossed and turned restlessly for a while, finally settling into a near catatonic state for the next few hours of the early morning, staring almost unseeingly at an alarm clock with tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.

A hesitant knock on his front door jolted him from his depressed state. It wasn't quite yet six AM. Figuring it was probably Alfred finally coming to check on him, he got up, hoping his brother wasn't bringing any news of what he'd done to Lovino when Matthew left. He hoped Alfred didn't do anything drastic. Matthew slid on his slippers and shuffled towards the door.

Hey everyone. So I got an anonymous review saying they didn't like Mattie's POV and that it was boring and that it'd be better without. I was kind of freaking out but my bff cylobaby helped. I just feel like I owe y'all an explanation. I will not be changing the story, I already have all the chapters planned out (it follows a basic recipe for pancakes if you didn't notice, you can analyze it as in depth as you want). And though most of the following chapters will be from Lovi's POV, 2 or 3 are from Mattie's. I feel like a lot would be missing without Mattie's POV, even if only the few Lovi-less chapters. Without it, Protective!Alfred wouldn't have been established very well.

I've had a few critiques for other stories where people want more POV changes to get more insight since apparently I can't portray it that well. I really, really relate to Matthew. We're the same in so many ways. And it hurts when someone says his story line is boring and that it'd be better off without him. I get that enough IRL. I guess it just came at a bad time, right before this chapter. I mean, I know it's sad, but Mattie and I struggle with a lot of the same insecurities.

I won't change the plot, but if anyone has anything y'all want me to change, like format or something, let me know? I want to make this story as good as I can. I'm sorry if it ever gets confusing.

So basically just thanks to all of you for reading, signed in and anonymous. Thanks for the reviews, thanks for the alerts, thanks for the faves. You have no idea how much it all means to me. I love you all and chapter 11 will be up soon! More Alfred and Lovi :)