Author's Note: Sorry it took so long! I tried working on the chapter here and there between whatever I had to do and a lot of editing to boot. So enjoy!
It's A Wonderful Life, Yeah Right (or is it?)!
Chapter 10: Back to Skool for you!
It was two in the afternoon when Prof. Membrane woke the kids up from their slumber. Dib and Gaz got up quickly to their father's command while Zim was sleeping without a care. Dib saw that Zim was not listening to his father's screaming so he decided to kick him hard in his squeedlyspooch. Zim squeaked from the pain and clenched his belly. He slowly got up from the floor.
"It's about time you kids got up!" Prof. Membrane said crossing his arms. "Now, why were you guys sleeping in so late?" Dib looked at Zim trying to find an excuse to give his father, but Zim had no ideas. Then Dib looked at his sister and she had no clue what to say. Dib came up with a story.
"Well, we were getting rid of that space craft for you." Dib said elbowing Zim to agree with him. Zim nodded.
"Yeah, we figured that we could do you a big favor by disposing that junk, after all today is your birthday! " Zim said backing up Dib's lie. Zim was really going to give Prof. Membrane a proper gift, but he totally forgot about it while rescuing Skoodge yesterday.
"Yes, yes today is your birthday, of course!" Dib said acting like he knew all along. Zim knew he also forgot.
"Really," Prof. Membrane thought to himself. He looked at his digital calendar connected to his arm and saw that it was indeed his birthday. "Hey, you're right! Today is my birthday!" Prof. Membrane got excited, ran into the kitchen and straight in the garage. He saw that the craft was completely gone. Prof. Membrane became pleased.
"You kids got rid of it in one night, for me, for my birthday!" Prof. Membrane pronounced happily. "Now I have room for my tools, in my own garage! I can park my car in my own garage! I'm gonna park my car right now, thanks kids!" Prof. Membrane grabbed his keys off the kitchen table and ran out the front door.
"That worked out pretty well." Zim said pleased by his half-truth.
"Yeah, good thinking Zim," Dib said surprised by the outcome. "I really did forget his birthday."
"I know you did, Dib, I know you did." Zim said shaking his head in shame.
"I didn't." Gaz said bringing out her gift from under the couch. It was a rectangular box wrapped in purple paper topped with a light blue bow. She met her Dad in the garage and gave him her present. Prof. Membrane torn off the paper and opened the box to reveal a new pair of black rubber gloves.
"Gaz, how did you know I needed new gloves?" Prof. Membrane asked his daughter. Gaz looked at her father's worn out black gloves with tiny holes around his fingers and said.
"Lucky guess," Prof. Membrane hugged his daughter while she whined through the ordeal. Zim peeked into the garage doorway to see Gaz receiving the hug and chuckled. Gaz heard him and threatened to punch him showing her fist and shaking it. Zim realizing the doom of the fist wiped his smile off his face and backed away from the garage doorway into the kitchen. Then he turned to Dib. Zim yawned.
"Well, time to hit the old dusty trail." Zim said stretching his arms. "See you at skool, Dib." Zim was about to walk out the front door until Dib said.
"Are you going to be okay, Zim?" Zim stopped in his tracks and turned to face Dib.
"That's a stupid question," Zim quickly commented back. "Of course I'm going to be okay. Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know? You seem a little off today." Dib said looking at his friend weirdly.
"Well, you did just kick me in my squeedlyspooch! Of course I am going to be off! It's like falling off the wrong side of the bed, but instead the floor kicks on the way down!"
"That doesn't make any sense." Dib responded to his simile.
"It doesn't have to, Dib! Now if you excuse me, I got to get home before Gir makes anymore poisonous cookies to feed the neighborhood children." Zim slammed the door on the way out. He dug in his pocket to find the Striking Gem. He pulled it out and saw that it was turning blue, green, red, silver and black in that order. He sighed and placed it back in his pocket. He continued to walk home thinking.
'How am I going to give this to Mary?' He thought. 'She can't know I rescued Skoodge or I will have to explain everything and I can't just give her the gem or she'll get suspicious. Maybe I should hold on to it until the right time.' Zim stopped and stood still for a while. 'That's stupid; it will never be the right time.'
Sunday was over quick for the gang and it was back to school to begin their second semester. This meant they had to go to their homeroom classes to pick up their new schedules. Zim and Dib were in the same homeroom sure enough and met each other in their usual outfits. Zim was wearing his red T-shirt that says "Life sucks, so do you!" with black pants, gloves and shoes while Dib wears his black cloak and so-so face underneath it with his black pants and boots. They sat down and their teacher passed out their new schedules. Dib and Zim classes stayed the same on their schedules except their new punishment class, Calculus, with Mr. Holic for first period. They both sighed.
"At least we have the same class together." Dib said staying on the bright side of the situation. Zim looked at the schedule and sneered. Dib continued to speak to comfort his friend.
"We can help each other out when we do group work."
"Yeah, you're right," Zim said trying to be positive. "It's not going to be that bad. With you and Mary helping me, I can't lose!"
The bell rang and it was time to leave for first period. Zim and Dib walked to Mr. Holic's class in building two, room forty-two. Dib opened the door and saw that their new classmates were already in their seats, quiet. Very quiet that it freaked Zim and Dib out a bit. They walked into the classroom and saw their new teacher, Mr. Holic, sitting in his desk. He was a short, white, medium built man that had brown thinning hair leaving a bald spot on the top of his head. He was wearing a black suit and a bright yellow tie covered with red question marks on it that seemed out of place. They looked at the teacher curiously. The teacher glared at them. Dib decided to be brave.
"Uhm…Excuse me, is this Mr. Holic's class?" Dib asked looking at his schedule. Zim looked at the teacher scared out of his wits. The teacher went up to them, looked them in the eyes and smiled evilly.
"So, you must be the troublemakers that Principle Bitters sent me." Mr. Holic said. Dib and Zim both nodded their head at the same time.
" Oh, ho ho ho," The teacher suddenly laughed. "And here I was thinking you guys were gonna be a threat. Take your seat over there." Mr. Holic pointed to the two empty seats in front of his desk. The two took their seats.
"Well, you might as well save your guys' bickering in the hallways because once you're in my classroom, there will be no fooling around. Got it," Mr. Holic shouted suddenly pounding his hands on each of the boys' desks. This startled them and made them nod their heads. "Yes, Sir, I want to hear 'yes Sir' from you two, now!"
"Yes, Sir," Both Dib and Zim suddenly said at the same time. Mr. Holic was pleased at their obedience and walked to his desk. Mr. Holic faced the chalk board.
"You know Mr. Burnman was my ride to skool and back for a long time until I got a new car. Now that he gone out of mind due to a particular accident, I have to leave my house at 6:15AM to catch the metro in the morning and that makes me very cranky!" Mr. Holic shouted turning to face the two. "But I don't hold it against you two for that would be very unprofessional of me. Now I have three simple rules in my classroom. Rule Number One: Shut the Hell up, Rule Number Two: Raise your hand to be called on, there is no such thing as a stupid question unless I say so, and finally Rule Number Three: Always call me Mr. Holic or Sir when called on or I won't answer it. Now let's begin our lesson." Mr. Holic said writing the equation on the board. The equation looked like this: (Author Note: The X→6 was suppose to be under the limit, but oh well and the 2 next to the X was supposed to be squared too but that's what I get for trying to be creative.)
limX→6 5x2-8x-13
Mr. Holic wrote find the limit as X approaches the constant. Zim lifted up his hand suddenly. "Yes, you, what's your name again?" Mr. Holic said looking at his picture description. "Zim, what is it?"
"Mr. Holic, Sir. What does that mean?"
"What does what mean, Zim?"
"The X with the weird arrow pointing to the six, Sir?"
"Oh my God, that's a stupid question, Zim!" Mr. Holic said surprised on how stupid his student was. Mr. Holic studied Zim and asked.
"Are you slow by any chance?"
"No, Sir, I just don't get it! Now will please tell me what it means." Zim said embarrassed. Everyone stopped working on their problems and stared at Zim and Mr. Holic.
"Oh, fine it means it is equal to X." Mr. Holic said.
"Sir, what is X?" Zim asked Mr. Holic.
"It's six, Zim, six!" Mr. Holic shouted.
"Then what is six equal to Sir, does it equal to that line?"
"My God, that's an even stupider question than you just asked me. Now it is better that you shut up now!"
"Zim, the arrow means…" Dib tried explaining to Zim, but Mr. Holic cut him off.
"You, shut up! He has to figure it out by himself!"
"Well, how am I going to figure it out if nobody's going to tell me?" Zim asked Mr. Holic. Mr. Holic didn't answer.
"What you say, Zim, I didn't hear a Sir in that question."
"Ahhh. Never mind," Zim finally said frustrated and continued to figure out what the arrow means in his equation. There was a knock at the door and a girl came in. Zim looked up and saw it was Mary. She had a stack of papers in her arms.
"Hello Mr. Holic, Mrs. Marchelle wanted me to give these papers to you." She said politely. Mr. Holic went up to her and took the papers happily.
"Why, thank you, Mary!" Mr. Holic said pleased. "I'll let Mrs. Marchelle know they were given to me." Mary looked around to see Zim and Dib working on their problems. She smiled.
"Hey, guys! I didn't know you had Mr. Holic for math too!" Mary said surprised. Zim looked up and said.
"Yeah, we just got him."
Mr. Holic curiously looked at Mary astonished.
"Mary, you know this numbskull!" He said pointing to Zim.
"Hey!" Zim said offended.
"Yes, in fact he is one of my pupils for tutoring."
"Ha," Mr. Holic said. "Good luck with this kid, I can't teach him. He can't even figure out that X pointing to the six is equal to six." Mary saw that Zim was having a hard time with Mr. Holic and decided to help.
"Maybe you need to explain it in a different way." Mary suggested and went to the chalk board. She looked at the board and took the piece of chalk. She then drew an equal sign under the arrow. She then rewrote the equation to include the six replacing the X's with the number.
"Zim," Mary said getting his attention. "X is the 6. They want you to replace to X with the number 6. Then you will be able to find your constant for limit."
"Oh, so the arrow means that the X will be that number." Zim said writing in his notes. "Now I get it." The other kids saw Mary's new written equation and wrote it down too. Mr. Holic looked at Mary amazed.
"I think Zim's more of a visual learner, I teach a lot of kids like that."
"Well, thanks for your help Mary, but I am the teacher. I could have easily figured that out for myself." Mr. Holic said proudly. Zim wanted to choke him.
"Oh. Alright then, I'm going to be leaving. See you guys at lunch." Mary said waving goodbye. Zim and Dib both waved back. Mary left the classroom and they went back to their work. Then, the bell rang and it was time for gym. After an hour of doing push up drills, it was time for those two to separate. Zim went to his English III while Dib went to U.S. History. Then it was lunch time. Zim entered the hallway heading to his locker until he noticed Mary getting books out of her locker. He went up to her locker and slammed his right hand on the locker in front of her. This startled her. She saw that it was Zim. Zim leaned his back on the locker that he just slammed.
"Yo. Thanks for saving my ass in Calculus. I swear I think he was getting ready to kill me until you came in. What a jerk! I can't believe he treated you that way after you helped him out."
"Well, he's always like that. I don't think he wants anyone's help when it comes to teaching. He thinks he's the best. In fact, he tells us he's the best in our A.P. Calculus."
"Figures, I barely know the man and I already expect that from him." Then Torque Smacky and his two best friends walked into the hallways. They were wearing their basketball uniforms for tonight's game. They saw that Zim was talking to Mary.
"Hey, Zim," Torque said getting his attention. "Like the shirt. Does that mean you suck balls too?" Torque's friends laughed at their leader's comment and Zim waited patiently until they stopped laughing.
"No, I just suck your mom's balls." Zim said calmly. Mary was shocked by what Zim said. So were Torque's friends. Then Torque got pissed off and picked up Zim from his shirt getting ready to punch.
"Yes, yes punch me and get kicked off team. That's really smart." Zim said reasoning with the jock.
"Don't do it man." One of his buddies's said. "He's not worth ruining the season." Then Torque let go of Zim. Zim fixed his shirt. They walked away.
"Man that was ugly." Zim said brushing his shirt off.
"You're going to get yourself killed." Mary said.
"Nah, they can't touch me. They get into any fights they automatically get kicked off the team. This happened to me couple of times when they started it, I got beaten up, they get beaten up and they get kicked off team either way. It's pretty funny. Heh, heh."
"I fail to see the humor of you getting beaten up." Mary said concerned for his well being. Zim looked at her seriously and then smiled a bit.
"Oh, cheer up!" Zim said smiling. "I never seriously get myself hurt. Besides, if someone offers me a challenge, I'm not going to turn them down!" Mary didn't say anything. She just rolled her eyes at Zim's logic and walked away. Zim chuckled at her reaction and followed her. They were walking to the lunch room until they saw Jessica and her group of friends stop and stare at Mary and Zim. The girls just laughed and walked away.
"Hey, girls do you see a cow crossing anywhere because I think I just saw Mary passing by. I think they really need to put a sign up." Jessica said as they kept on walking. They were still laughing.
"Bitch," Zim muttered to himself. Then he looked at Mary. Mary kept on walking not even stunned by what the girls said. This confused Zim.
"Why didn't you defend yourself? Jeez Mary, you could have at least given them the finger!"
"Why bother, if they want to feel better about themselves by making fun of me, so let them. After all, what matters is what I think of me. They don't know me, so their opinions don't count."
Zim was in awe in what Mary said. Then the intercom came on. "Zim come to the main office, Zim!"
"What did I do now? You insult a guy's mother and they call you in, this sucks. See you Mary."
Zim entered the main office and saw a bunch of other kids sitting in the chairs waiting their punishments. Zim assumed he was in trouble and sat himself down.
'I don't know why they had to call me during lunch. History would have been way better so I wouldn't have to listen to that teacher blah,blah about the cotton gin and shit and how blah,blah, south needed forced labor slaves for tobacco…' Zim thought making his right hand speak describing his teacher. The skool secretary saw that Zim wasn't paying any attention to her and screamed.
"ZIM!" This made Zim jump out of his seat. "Your guidance counselor wants a word with you."
"Aw, crap." Zim said out loud and walked to Mr. Ordinary's office. He opened the door and saw Mr. Ordinary sitting down with his usual plain outfit. He had a plain white buttoned up dress shirt on and a blue tie. He was medium built and had straight brown cut hair up to his ears. He was shuffling through some papers in Zim's file and shook his head. Then he saw Zim.
"Ah, Zim come in and take a seat next to your legal guardian." Zim was shocked by what Mr. Ordinary said and assumed the worse. Prof. Membrane got involved.
"I am very disappointed of you, fake-son!" Prof. Membrane said shaking his head.
"Oh fu-"Zim was about to say but Prof. Membrane cut him off.
"Watch your mouth, what would your mother say hearing you talk like that?"
Zim thought of what the crazy Robo Mom would have said. "Well. I don't know. Sleep in the gravy until you feel better." Zim laughed but the adults scolded him for his crude joke. Zim went silent and sat down in the chair next to Prof. Membrane.
"Well, I called you in today to tell you that you completely failed Science Technology. There would be no way you would make up the class next year because we are not going to have it. You're not going to have enough credits to graduate with the rest of your class." Mr. Ordinary said. Zim and Prof. Membrane were shocked by the news.
"What? You got to be kidding me! Is there any other way I can make this up." Zim tried reasoning to the Mr. Ordinary.
"Of course, Zim. What? You think we were going to let you fail." Mr. Ordinary said smirking at Zim's reaction to the fake news.
"What? Why did you tell me I was not going to graduate on time?" Zim snapped out of anger.
"To make you think seriously about your studies. Now just imagine if the news was real. You wouldn't be mad at me right now, you would be mad at yourself."
"If you would have told me the truth from the beginning I wouldn't be mad at all." Zim rebutted back at Mr. Ordinary.
"Touché, Zim. You're the only one that caught on to my scheme."
"Would you please tell me what this is really about?" Prof. Membrane said annoyed. "I already paid for the damages of the classroom. I been here for three hours and there is so much work I don't want to miss."
"Yes, yes. Well, we found a way to make this work. Since, Principle Bitters thought that you're punishment was cruel to have you sent to a Calculus Class in the middle of the year without any prior knowledge of the coarse, she is willingly to have you pass the Science Technology class if you pass the Third Quarter Calculus Test with at least a 91%."
"What? Principle Bitters knows about mercy? Why is she doing this for me?" Zim asked his counselor.
"She said that technically you were supposed to get a C on the project since you made the cannon but missed the board. She saw that the F was uncalled for, but because your grade was so bad in that class, she thought this would be more suitable than having you stay for summer skool causing whatever trouble."
"Yeah, I am a troublemaker." Zim said pleased by his statement. "What happens if I don't pass the Test?"
"Most likely summer skool for the whole summer." Mr. Ordinary spoke.
"Damn. Okay I'll pass that Test! No worries, I, Zim will rise up to your challenge!" Zim screamed standing on his chair.
"Zim, get off my chair and get out of my office."
"Yes, Sir," Zim said walking out of the classroom with Prof. Membrane. They both walked into the hallway.
"Sorry for having you come in." Zim said finally to Prof. Membrane.
"It's Okay, Zim. I agreed to this responsibility when I signed to be your guardian. I just wish you were better behaved."
Zim felt bad about what Prof. Membrane said and continued.
"Look, Membrane. How much was the classroom, I'll pay you back for the damages myself."
"No Zim, you can't buy yourself to make things better, it is time to owe up to your decisions and make the right choices in life. You're going to be an adult soon and you have to know the difference between the good and bad consequences of your actions."
"I'm not going to be an adult soon. I'm only technically seventeen."
"Yes, but in this world. When you're eighteen, you are technically an adult, so if you punch someone, they will sue."
"Yes, and if they try, I will sue them back." Zim said trying to lighten the mood. Prof. Membrane shook his head.
"Zim, don't worry about the damages but please keep in mind what I told you." Prof. Membrane said leaving Zim behind to think to himself. Zim didn't like what he heard and went to the cafeteria to meet up with his friends for cheering up.