Natalia Arlovskaya was collecting the clothes on the balcony. She was holding a basket in one hand while the other one removing the pegs on the clothes before taking them down. It was a bright sunny morning and the sky was blue, the light breeze fluttered her silver hair.

She continued to collect the clothes and noticed that it didn't seem right, some items were not there. She did a double check on the clothes that she collected just now and noticed that there were some articles gone, namely her and her sister's underwear. She frowned and looked around her, thinking that maybe the wind was too strong and blew them away from the clothes line, but no, there were no signs of their underwear anywhere. She looked over the balcony to the streets.

Maybe they fell down the street? Oh, Gosh, no, please don't. That would be so embarrassing. What if someone saw it? What is the boys from the apartment on the other side of the road saw it? Or worst what is he saw it? Oh no...

She scanned the road and the sidewalk and there were no underwear in sight.

Strange... Where have our underwear gone?

…

"Roderich." Elizaveta called, sitting on the floor with a pile of unfolded clothes around her. The sound of piano ceased and footsteps were heard. "Yes?" Roderich poked his head out from the music room.

"Have you been... I don't know... snooping around my underwear drawer?" she asked, face turning slightly red.

"W-What? Are you crazy? Why would I want to snoop around your... your underwear?" the Austrian blushed and sputtered.

"Then... have you seen them? Quiet a number of them had gone missing lately. It's weird. I have to spent quiet an amount of money buying new ones." she shook her head and grabbed one of Roderich's shirt and began folding it. "I wonder where have they gone?" she muttered to herself and then turned back to Roderich again.

"Are you sure you didn't took them?" she asked again, sternly.
"O-of course not! Why would I? It's not like I have some weird fetish or anything..." Roderich crossed his arms across his chest and puffed up his cheeks. "Have you misplaced them? Or I don't know... lend it to someone?"

"Lend it? Why would I lend my underwear to someone Roderich? That's gross!" Elizaveta made a disgusted face. "Seriously, you are no help. You go back to your piano, I'll solve this mystery on my own."

"Well you girls like to borrow things to people so I'm not surprise if you really did. You always borrow your clothes, make up, that thingie with the hot metal that makes your hair straight whatever to Lili and Natalia..."

"A hair straightener Roderich. Yes I do borrow a lot of things to them, they are my friends. But absolutely not underwear, gosh Roddy you're so gross. Would you borrow your underwear to Vash?"

Roderich made a face and shook his head. "No..."

"Exactly. You boys are so weird. Sometimes I have no idea how that brain of you guys' work."

…

"Brother, I have something to tell you." Lili Zwingli sat beside her big brother, clutching her mint green dress. Her brother was polishing his gun (not real ones, models. The ones that your put on a shelf for decorating purpose.) and when he noticed her, he looked up. "Yes?"

"M-my underwear's been disappearing lately." she said, bowing her head with a cute flush on her cheeks. Vash looked at her horrified and put down his gun on the table. "Disappearing? Your u-underwear... what do you mean?"

"Like... I would wash them today and would hang it dry... and the day next when I was about to collect it back, it would go missing. My bras and my p-panties... I t-think someone took them or something..." she said in a soft voice, face red as a fire truck.

"Gosh, which idiot would want to steal people's underwear. That person must be sick. Gross. Knocked his head when he was born. Gosh, stealing people's underwear..." Vash muttered under his breath, clenching his fists.

…

"Ok! Which one of you stole my underwear? 'Fess up or I'll kill you! Those are expensive ones!" Alfred shouted over the on the table. Everyone of Fiore had been called to his house for an 'important' meeting, and the meeting was about his missing underwear.

"Mon Dieu, who would want to steal your underwear? You wear the ugliest boxers known to men, absolutely no taste. Who in the world would wear a boxer with their nation's flag printed on it. Only you." Francis said, annoyed, sitting on the couch puffing on a cigarette. In a corner, Matthew snickered.

Alfred blushed and puffed his cheeks. "Those are not ugly. At least I don't wear briefs."

"Real man wear briefs mon petit."

Matthew laughed.

"Could it be that you misplaced them or something?" Ivan asked, yawning, bags underneath his tired violet eyes. He had stayed up late last night watching Anastasia on TV. Yao could hear him crying and sobbing things in Russian.

"Or left it in Arthur's house..." Yong Soo snickered and the rest laughed. Arthur crossed his arms. "Bollocks, why would he left his under garment in my house? Are you all crazy?"

"You're lovers, remember? You're suppose to leave underwear in each others' houses. Especially after rounds and rounds of hot sex that we could all hear." Lovino grunted.

"W-what bollocks are you talking about? You little git..."

"Alright alright calm down..." Roma, the landlord and the oldest in the house said, hitting the table with his fist. "Alfred, do you remember when was the last time you saw it?"

"Last time? I don't know... on my bedroom floor I think..."

"Oh you dirty boy, throwing underwear on the floor and not picking them up... kesesesese..." Gilbert laughed his annoying laughed and gave Francis and Antonio a high five. "Or maybe it was under your pile of other underwear?" Antonio added, the trio laughed uncontrollably.

"Very funny. Now come on, has anyone seen them?" Alfred asked, voice a bit worried. Everyone shook their head. He sat down on the table and sighed.

Just then, Feliciano barged in wearing only a towel around his waist, eyes glistening with tears.

"F-Feli! Put on some clothes! Gosh! Mei don't look!" Yao cried while covering Mei's eyes with his hands. The other stared at the younger Italian while Ludwig, his boyfriend blushed and facepalmed.

"Feliciano, what happened to your clothes?" Roma got up from the couch and walked over to his grandson, removing his sweater and putting it on the smaller boy.

"Nonno, my underwear's missing! The one that Ludwig got me on Valentine's!" he sobbed. The Bad Friends snickered while Ludwig's face turned even redder.

"Look Gil, your brother's like a tomato now." Antonio poked Gilbert and laughed.

"Missing? What do you mean missing? When was the last time you saw it?" Roma asked the same question to his grandson who only shook his head. "I don't know. I checked my dresser, under the bed, under fratello's bed, under your bed, under Pomodorro's bed, under the couch, in the bathroom and also in the fridge, but I still couldn't find it! Nonno that underwear means a lot to me, it's a gift from Luddy! What should I do? Am I a bad boyfriend? I'm so sorry Luddy I didn't mean to lose the underwear you gave me." Feliciano cried, running over to the German and wrapping his arms around his waist. Ludwig sighed and patted the smaller one's back. "It's fine, I can get you another one if you like..." he muttered. "B-but it's not the same anymore!" Feliciano sobbed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"In the fridge? Why would you look for your underwear in the fridge?" Ivan wrinkled his nose.

"My stupid fratello sometimes put his underwear in the fridge during summer and will sometimes forgot to take them out. He said putting them in the fridge makes them cold and it feels good against his butt." Lovino explained, shaking his head. "I can't believe I have such an idiotic brother." he muttered.

"Alright now, Feliciano also has underwear missing, anyone else in this apartment has missing underwear too?" Alfred stood up again, asking the people in his house. Some shook their head while some nodded quietly.

"Wow, looks like I'm not alone..."

…

"Mama! Papa! My superman underwear's missing!" Little Peter jumped up and down on Tino and Berwald's bed, naked. Tino opened his eyes slowly and stared at the little naked figure jumping up and down on his bed and groaned. He's not a morning person and he hates being waked up by other people, especially in such an annoying way like this. He groaned and got up, shaking Berwald.

"Ber, little Peter's underwear's missing." he said, voice husky from sleep. He rubbed his eyes and Peter jumped onto his lap. "Mama, mama, could it be that Santa took it?"

"Santa? Why would Santa take your underwear?" Tino yawned, combing back Peter's hair.

"Because he like collecting underwear, Alfred told me."

"Alfred? Who?"

"The guy from Fiore, I talked to him last time and he's a really nice guy."

"A guy from Fiore?" Tino scrunched up his brows. Next to him, Berwald slowly got up and put on his glasses.

"Yes, the loud annoying one with the burgers." Berwald said, wrapping his arms around his wife. "Why are you naked?"

"Because Santa took my underwear."

…

"Alright! There has been a few cases of missing underwear reported to me lately and I called this meeting because I would like to solve this mystery. Now, any idea who the culprit is?" Tino asked the room full of people from Surströmming. At the back, the spiky haired Dane raised his hand.

"Yes, Mattias?"

"It must be the Germans from Fiore! I saw them snooping around a few times! Yes! It must be them! I knew they're not good people! And also that tall guy with the coat and fedora, he looks like a pervert, yes. I am sure they all ganged up and steal underwear from innocent people!"

"Don't forget the Frenchman. He's nasty. He always stares at my boobs when I pass him, it's creepy." Yekaterina shivered, hugging herself.
"Yes, they all have motives. But we don't have prove. Any more suggestions?"

"Could be that American! He looks pretty perverted to me." Natalia said, shrugging.

"Everyone of them from that apartment is suspicious." Vash said, standing up, shaking his fist at the direction of the apartment. "I am going to kill them if I found of who's the one who stole my beloved sister's underwear!"

…

"Apartment meeting!" Matthew called in a small voice, but loud enough for everyone to hear. They all gathered in Alfred and Matthew's house, discussing about the missing underwear.

"Now, who do you think..."

Before Roma could finish talking, Gilbert stood up, banging on the table. "It must be that Dane from Surströmming! He's crazy! I bet he's the one who stole everyone's underwear."

"Calm down bruder, we don't have prove." Ludwig pulled his brother down to his chair and calmed him down.

"My most awesome-est underwear has gone missing this morning and I bet that the Dane was behind this. And I bet he stole a lot of other underwear too! Like the one West gave you, Feli."

Feliciano bit his bottom lip and gave out another sob. "I miss my underwear."

"Alright, but we have no prove that they're the ones who stole the underwear..." Roma sighed, shaking his head.

"Let's go ask them then!" Gilbert shouted, getting up from his chair and along with Francis and Antonio he got out of the room.

…

"Let's go beat the hell out of the people from Fiore and then ask them about it, but leave the girl alone, she's quiet hot. I don't want to hurt her." Mattias announced before leaving the room.

…

The people from two separate apartments came out onto the street at the same time, angry looks on their face. With Gilbert leading Fiore and Mattias leading Surströmming.

"'Fess up you nasty Dane! Give us back our underwear!" Gilbert yelled at Mattias, who only laughed. "Your underwear, who would want to steal your underwear. You're the one that's suppose to give us back our underwear you thief."

"Who you calling a thief you bastard? Are you trying to pick a fight?" Gilbert rolled up his sleeves and clenched his teeth, when he was about to swing his fist at the Dane, Ludwig stopped him.

"Bruder, it's not a good time to fight, we need to solve the underwear mystery remember?"

"Hah, at least your brother got a brain, unlike you, who only think with you butt."

"Say that again, I dare you!"

"Stop! Stop fighting!" Elizaveta screamed and stood between the two. "Stop. Just stop. Now, you said that you people have missing underwear and we people also have missing underwear, could it be that someone other than us that took them?"

Mattias and Gilbert glared at each other and back to Elizaveta. "Who are you?" Gilbert asked, looking down at her.

"I'm Elizaveta Edelstein and I live in Surströmming. I have a few missing underwear, my husband too and we would like to know who took it too so would you two stop fighting and solve this together in peace." she crossed her arms and glared at the albino.

"Alright alright, if it was from you my pretty lady." Gilbert gave her a smirk and gave her hand a kiss. "Could it be that you're my princess? The princess with the pink flowery curtains that plays beautiful songs on a piano?" Gilbert gave her a seductive look and kissed her hand again. She looked at him is disgust and pulled her hand away. "Gosh, of course not. I would not touch that piano, Roddy wouldn't let me." then she smirked. "Perhaps the 'princess' that you're looking for is my husband?"

Gilbert's eyes widened and pulled away from her. Elizaveta chuckled.

"W-Whatever. N-now back to the underwear mystery..."

"Wouldn't you like to know who your princess is..." Elizaveta gave him an evil smirk and he felt shivers running down his back.
"I guess..."

Laughing, Elizaveta pulled a blushing Roderich from behind the stern looking Swede and pointed at him. "This, you dumbass, is the princess you're looking for, and also..." she hugged his arm. "My husband, Roderich."

Mattias laughed while Gilbert and Roderich's faces turned red. "Gooosh, Beilschmidt you're crushing on a man? A married man, even?"

"Aren't you crushing on a man yourself..." LiXiao said suddenly from the back. Mattias tilted his head and smirked. "At least he's not married."

"Shut up." Gilbert blushed.

"Allow me to search all of your houses for our underwear." Mattias said, pushing past Gilbert and the others, making his way to the apartment. Roma stood in his way and puffed up his chest. "No you can't. I am the landlord here and you cannot search their houses without my permission."

"Oh? So you're helping a pervert?" Mattias raised and eyebrow. "I see... perhaps you're the one who stole the underwear."

"Why don't you let us search your houses first you fucking ass." Lovino snapped, standing beside Roma with a fierce look on his face.

"Ooh, scary. I'm so scared. What are you going to do? Curse me to death? I won't let you search my house because you don't have the rights to."

"And you don't have the right to fucking search ours too!"

"Why of course I can. You have Beilshmidt with you and that Bonnefoy pervert, they are the perfect culprits for this..."

Just then, a loud sound sounded from above all of them. They looked up and a black and white figure with a pink piece of cloth on its beak flew across from Fiore to Surströmming, and entered Emil's bedroom window.

"My panty!" Mei screamed. The others quickly looked to the direction of the window and rushed up to the apartment. They waited for Nikolas to unlock the door and rush in.

"Alright, that thing, whatever that is brought Mei's underwear from that window..."

"That's my window..." Emil said quietly.

"We'll have to search your room, boy." Berwald said, walking in front of the crowd to the boy's room. When he opened the door, he saw Emil's pet puffin sitting on top of his bed, a pink frilly underwear on it's beak.

"Gah! Get away from my panty!" Mei screamed, running to the room to shoo the bird away. The bird squawcked and flew above the room, still holding to the article.

"Give it back you evil chicken! Give it back!" Mei jumped up and down, trying to grab the bird.

"Puffin's not a chicken, he's a puffin!" Emil corrected.

"Look for the underwear Tino." Berwald said to Tino and he nodded. He walked past a still jumping Mei and looked around the room.

"I am not hiding any underwear in here..." Emil muttered.

"But we saw the bird flying in here with Mei's panty, and he still has it."

Tino crouched and looked under the bed and then he saw a small pile of clothing underneath it. He reached out and grabbed one to inspect it. On his hand, was a pair of boxer shorts with the American flag printed on it.

"Dude! That's mine! That's my underwear under your bed! Dude you're sick!" Alfred yelled, rushing to Tino and snatched the boxer away from him and clutched it to his chest lovingly. "Oh where had you been, I missed you so much baby... don't worry, daddy's here to take you home..."

Emil's face changed from emotionless to horrified when Tino pulled out a huge pile of underwear from underneath his bed. Black thongs, expensive briefs, embarrassing granny underwear, bras everything.

"I didn't do it." Emil muttered, his hands shaking.

"I didn't know you have such a weird fetish." Nikolas said with his usual poker face, picking up his Emporio Armani underwear from the ground and walked back to his room.

"But I didn't... I..."

"You sick sick bastard..." Vash grabbed his sister's undergarments and held her hand, pulling her away from the Icelandic boy.

"But I..."

"Yay! I found my Luddy underwear!" Feliciano skipped to his flaming red underwear and skipped away happily.

"I..."

"Emil. I'm so disappointed in you." Elizaveta picked up her underwear and left the room.

"I... I didn't..."

"I thought you're a pretty nice guy but who knows..." Natalia and Yekaterina picked up theirs and left, not before giving him a disgusted look.

"But I didn't do it!" he screamed after everyone took their underwear and left.

Puffin, who was perching on the cupboard, flapped his wings happily.

I said I was going to update slow but I couldn't stop writing! This is so fun! I just love random craziness. Also, thank you for the review, favs and alerts and such. Thank you for the support. Thank you thank you thank you. I would marry you all if I could. Again, the usual stuff, I do not own Hetalia. And I'm not sure if puffins squawk... correct me if I'm wrong. I had a lot of fun writing this one. Especially this one. :)