Circus Maximus and Suitor 3

Ellie Reardon gave her daddy a quick review before he left the house, "Are we clear, Daddy?" She asked, her large hazel eyes serious, "No crying tonight. Are we clear, Daddy?"

"Crystal clear, honey." Dan assured, the suddenly stern little girl. He'd liked Amy Farrah Fowler a great deal, she'd check off a lot of his boxes. He'd disappointed his sister and his little girl by his dismal dating performance. Amy was truly a goddess of patience. The way Emily made it sound on the phone, this was his last chance with her. He wasn't sure how that was possible, but Emily had made it quite clear he needed to move his ass now and he needed to look good.

As good as a man could look when he looked like he was rusting. Dan had gone deep sea fishing with some friends the weekend before. He was just a large freckle at this point. He checked himself in the mirror. He was lucky he made cute, smart babies or he'd just be a giant leprechaun with a PhD.

At Amy's house, Sheldon opened the car door for her. Before she got in she stopped and looked at the car, then peeked at the driver as she climbed in. As they drove off, Sheldon noticed her smiling smugly. "Is something amiss, Dr. Fowler?"

She turned to him with a raised eye brow, "Everything is perfect. Chuck here is Raj's favorite driver." She lined forward, "You've been working for Dr. K a lot this summer, isn't that right, Chuck?"

The older man turned slightly and yelled back, "That's right, Dr. Amy!"

Sheldon's face remained neutral, "I don't know what you are implying."

"I am not implying a thing." Amy smiled widely, "I just thought your plan to find my address would be more high tech and… you know, more in a legal and ethical/moral gray area."

"Oh, lines were crossed," Sheldon replied haughtily. The smile was very welcome, even before he left seeing Amy truly smile like this had become rarer and rarer. As he'd descended into chaos, he'd drug her down with him. He needed time to explain to her why he left. He would have pulled her down even further then he had. Tonight he might get his chance.

"Lines were crossed," she teased him, "What lines?"

"I made an illegal clone of Bernadette's cell phone." Sheldon smiled.

Amy cheered softly, "See, that's what I am talking about. Nice."

"You like that?" he asked, remembering that Amy had been the only person to truly understand the sliding scale of his ethical standards.

"God help me… I like it." Amy bit her lip, "Now. Go ahead. Ruin it."

"Bernadette never deleted the pictures she took when you were trying on bras. One of them is my laptop wallpaper now." Sheldon admitted.

Amy nodded and leaned her head back, "Which one?"

"The picture where you are wearing the same black bra that you have on now." Sheldon replied.

Frowning she looked down at her chest, she was covered all covered, "How can you tell which bra I am wearing?"

"The black one makes you look like Wonder Woman. Your breasts are very high proud this evening." He stared at the back of Chuck's head and smirked when he heard her response.

"Okay, I'll take that."

In Howard's car things were a little less tranquil, "Raj, you are so gullible," Bernadette chided.

"Sue me, I believe in love." Raj defended himself.

"Love?" Emily and Bernadette said in unison.

"Weird love, yes, but love." Raj counseled them. "And your motives are questionable, my queen of rubies. You still are viewing Amy as sister-in-law material."

"Danny really likes Amy!" Emily frowned.

"And yet Sheldon never burst into tears while kissing her. And trust me, I would have bet serious money that Sheldon would have not only cried while kissing a woman, but that his bowels would have released in shock." The astrophysicist chided his girlfriend. "Also, you want a mommy for Ellie."

"Where else I am going to find a woman smart enough to raise that child?" the redhead hissed, "This is Southern California." Pause. "So my motivations might be a little suspect. Sue me. I still think she is too good for Old Stretch."

"Hear, hear." Bernadette chimed in, "I don't have any preference among the big three suitors, just any of them would treat her better on day to day basis then Sheldon. I am sorry I only punched him in the thigh."

"Next time you try to beat him up, grab a foot stool. I don't know guys, I still have a soft spot in my heart for Bert." Howard admitted. "He looks like what would happen if a polar bear fucked a bald eagle and that is okay in my book."

Pause. The other three sighed in unison, "Yeah."

Driving at a frenzied pace down the freeway, Leonard was sure Penny was living skid marks behind them, "Why can't they mind their own business?" She asked.

"Did we not get dressed in 5 minutes to go to a really expensive restaurant so we could stick our noses into this? We could just let Sheldon fight his own battles." Leonard noted.

"No!" Penny hissed, "That's what they want us to do. Those bitcehs want us to take the high road. I won't give them the satisfaction. I am done letting them have their way. I am getting down in the mud on this one! You, me and Sheldon are getting our Amy back!"

Leonard tipped his head back and concentrated on going limp knowing that people who were drunk, asleep or didn't see the tractor trailer truck coming were much more like to survive a fatal car accident, "Thanks for the text, Howard. Thanks a lot."

Sheldon helped Amy out of the car and held her hand as they went into the restaurant. It failed to occur to her to object. "Reservation for Dr. Sheldon Cooper," he told the incredibly snotty looking maître d'.

"Ah, yes, Dr. Cooper, the rest of your party has just arrived and is waiting in the lounge area, it should only be fifteen to twenty minutes before we are able to seat your group."

"There's a misunderstanding," Sheldon said waspishly, "My reservation is for two. And it is for now."

"Apologies, Dr." The man looked down the reservation board, "Cooper. But the number of the party was changed to 7 and then again to 9. Actually, I believe we are still missing two members of this menagerie. We only seat once all members of a party have arrived. I invite you and Madame to wait with the rest of your party in the lounge."

Sheldon attempted to make his case for another minute before Amy drew him toward the lounge, "There is probably a logical explanation waiting for us in the lounge."

"That's optimistic." He said, testily. "What the heck?"

"Sheldon! Amy! Welcome!" Howard greeted the couple as he came up and gave Amy a kiss on both cheeks. He turned to shake Sheldon's hand and whispered to him that Penny and Leonard were on their way.

"Is that supposed to make this better?" Sheldon asked looking at the faces of two unfriendly women, Raj and a man who looked familiar… Amy greeted him with a smile and an outstretched hand and the man held it a second too long. He made eye contact with Sheldon. The ginger son of a bitch had the guts to raise his glass to him.

Suitor 2? Or 3? A walking freckle, with a rusty tin roof on his head? His mother always said redheads were the devils spawn. Yes, she'd been referring to one of his father's floozy girlfriends, but still, the sentiment was sound.

Sheldon went to Amy's side and put his arm around her waist, he brushed his lips against her hair, "Are you going to introduce me?" He was trying to sound charming, but Amy could hear he was about to have a stroke. For some reason, she covered his hand with her own in a soothing gesture.

"Sheldon, this is Emily's brother Dr. Daniel Reardon. He is a professor of applied economics at USC, Dan this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, he is a theoretical physicist at Caltech." Amy performed the introductions.

Dan appeared to weigh his words carefully, and the visibly decided to fuck caution, "I have heard a lot about you Dr. Cooper. I didn't think I'd ever meet you in person. I've been fan since your series of radio interviews last winter. And having heard so much about you over the summer. It's like meeting Wiley Coyote in person."

"We're here!" Penny said loudly, running into the lounge. "What did we miss?" She smiled/glared at Bernadette and Emily.

Leonard came in behind her and meekly came up to Amy and Sheldon, "I am really sorry about this. She isn't even drunk."

"Yet." Sheldon and Amy said together.

Next up the food comes and shit gets real.