Disclaimer: Though revised this these characters are the property of Stephanie Meyers, author of the Twilight Saga. The idea and story itself is the intellectual property of the posting writer. No parts of this story may be re-posted or used without express consent from the posting author.
Thank you for coming back to my story. It has been so long since I have added to it, or wrote any fan fiction. I have already started the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy.
Content Not To See
Chapter Ten
The week before Alice didn't want to leave her room because she didn't want to face life. She still didn't want to face life, but now for a different reason. Alice didn't want to deal with her family, and more than that, she didn't want Isabella to have to deal with them either. In her room was the love of her life, the end of loneliness, and the beginning of something new. As she stroke Isabella's face she thought of new places they could go and things they could do together. Isabella had done as much travelling as Alice had, but maybe there was a place Isabella could show her or a place they could explore together.
They attentively explored each other for the first time, but Alice knew there was more for them, more expression and more need. There was a lot between them that hadn't yet developed in the few short weeks they secretly met in the forest, or the day and a half they spent locked away in Alice's bedroom. There were more conversations to be had and wounds to heal, painful memories to erase and a future to create. All those things were a part of a future that they couldn't get to until they walked out of that room and faced the day. They had to face a new difficulty that lied ahead of them.
Isabella lay wrapped in the sheets of the bed, facing Alice, her eyes closed. Alice looked at the girl and was perplexed by the juxtaposition of her. Alice saw a fighter – she had to be one to go against Victoria and to survive on her own for so long in the woods and amongst human. Yet, Alice also saw a fragile, young girl who had barely grown up and never knew unconditional love. She was uncertain of herself and everyone and everything around her. What she knew of herself was tainted with Victoria's anger and her family abandoning her. Isabella was wounded and it was one of those deep wounds, which the correction power of the vampire venom coursing through their vains couldn't fix. Alice wondered if she could fix it or would subjecting Isabella to her family only make the wound worst.
But it wasn't Alice's choice. At some point they would have to face the rest of the house. Soon, they would have to leave their solitude and discuss life beyond the day. Would they stay or would they go? What would Alice want? What would Isabella need? If they stayed, would the family behave? What would happen when it was time to pack away and head to Forks? Did Isabella have a place in those plans now?
The longer Alice laid at Isabella's side thinking the more she realized she didn't have a say in anything; she didn't have control over a single thing. Isabella had to decide what she could and would be willing to accept from Alice and her family and all the changes that would be thrown her way. Isabella had to decide if she was strong enough, or more so if she loved Alice enough for it all. And it was up to the family if they would behave or if they would continue to act uncharacteristically like savages towards Isabella; harbor hate and misunderstanding and lack sympathy. The only thing Alice had a say in was her response to it all and the determination to stick by Isabella's side no matter what. Even if that meant she had to leave the family that she loved to be with the woman that she loved.
"Alice?" Isabella whispered.
"Yes?"
"What are you thinking?" Isabella opened her eyes. She saw the look on Alice's face that showed her uncertainty. Somehow Isabella felt it before she ever saw Alice's face. She didn't understand how, but she knew.
"A lot of things."
Isabella set up on the bed and moved away from Alice. She picked up the shirt that lay on the floor, taking a seat at the window bench. Alice was surprised by Isabella movement. She wanted to ask where she was going, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.
"'A lot' of things including: what to do with your family and what to do with me?"
"I know what to do with you, love you. As far as my family," Alice said.
"Alice, we can't avoid it forever. I didn't come back to make things difficult for you." Isabella rubbed her eyes, followed by gnawing at her finger nails.
"I know you didn't, Isabella," Alice moved towards the end of the bed, wanting to be closer to her.
Isabella tugged on her shirt, trying to cover more of her legs. The shirt wasn't giving any more than it already had, but that didn't stop her from trying over and over again.
Alice could sense something was wrong but she wasn't' sure what. Alice was tired of trying to figure things out; assuming what she wanted and what she needed. She found herself continually in the wrong when she tried to think that way. The last few weeks were filled with nothing but questions and assumptions, on both Alice and Isabella's part. Alice could only think how she was handicapped without the ability to see Isabella in her mind. If Isabella wanted this to work, she would have to open her mouth and talk to her. If not, she was going to drive herself crazy every single day questioning Isabella actions and her motives.
Alice just waited at the end of the bed; tugging on the blanked that did a much better job of covering her than the shirt that Isabella wore.
"I'm not going to stay, Alice."
Alice wasn't sure what she heard or how could they be back in this place again. Alice heart dropped and ears sounded as if her head was being dunked repeatedly under water. The swooshing was loud and it was starting to feel like the water was rushing through her ears and into her nose and throat. She couldn't breathe and despite the lack of the need to, it was hurting her on the inside. It was like a different kind of wind was being knocked out of her.
"Isabella, why do you keep doing this to me?" Alice wasn't sure if she had said the words out loud or if they were stuck in the oceans that were clouding her mind and ears. The water in Alice's ears should have fallen like tears it seemed to be so much.
"I'm trying to do what is best for you, Alice. I don't want to hurt you and I think if I stay here I would be doing that over and over and over again." Isabella hadn't looked up from the floor, nor had she stopped pulling on her shirt.
Isabella's words were garbled in Alice's ears, but she could understand her. It was as if Alice was hearing Isabella with more than just her ears. She could hear Isabella's words in the breaking of her heart, repeatedly.
"Have you not realized that it is when you aren't with me that you are hurting me? Has these two weeks not shown that? We hurt each other more when we are apart." Or maybe it was just me who was hurting when I couldn't touch her, kiss her, and breathe her," Alice thought to herself.
"You said," Alice stood to her feet, standing over Isabella, pointing out of the window, "that you sat there and watched me and it hurt you and you couldn't move and you didn't want to leave me. You said that you promised you weren't going anywhere ever again. You said that to me! Were you lying to me, Isabella? Are you still lying to me, Isabella?"
"I don't want to be without you, Alice. I won't be far from you, but you need your family. We can't hide in this room forever. We're going to have to face them. I won't walk around here and make your life difficult for you. That isn't fair to you or to me."
"So you're going to use them as an excuse to leave me again? Is it all of a sudden easier to leave?" Alice was ready for the water to take her, to drawn her and all the pain into which she was being pulled back. She didn't understand why she couldn't just float away from it all.
She could feel the breath in her throat repeatedly catch. The edges of Alice's vision darkened. The water was finally filling up around her; about to take her away for the last time. Or maybe it was the darkness again reaching for Alice. She thought about how comfortable and certain the darkness was, after her screaming stopped. Then it was warm and painless. It was like a lost friend soothing away the ache. It was reaching for Alice again and this time it was taking the sound away from her with it. Alice thought how she wouldn't fight it this time. She was going to claim it and accept it until the end.
"Alice! Alice? Can you hear me?" Isabella tugged at Alice's arms, shaking her.
The sheet slipped from Alice's arms and body; Alice doing nothing to support it, or herself.
"Alice, listen to me," Isabella said, as she sat her on the window seat. Her hands were warm and tingled at the skin of Alice's cheeks as she took Alice face in both of her hands; turning Alice head towards her.
"Does she still see me there, or was she seeing me fade away? Alice asked herself. She didn't have the nerve to ask Isabella.
"Alice, I'm so sorry. I'm so bad at this. I don't ever do anything right when it comes to you." Isabella closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Alice watched her. When she opened her eyes again there was a determination there on Isabella's face.
"Alice, I am not leaving you. I am with you for eternity. I am so sorry I scared you. Please come back to me. I see you slipping away. Alice, I simply mean I can't live here in this house; not yet anyway. It's not right, yet." Isabella's eyes searched over Alice's entire face, looking for life to return. "Please say something?"
Isabella's voice began to shake. She was beginning to break down. Her head fell into Alice's lap. She didn't understand how she could be so stupid; how her words could hurt Alice so quickly. She didn't stop to think how her words sounded.
The evident of Alice quick descent away, her heart quickly retreating in an attempt to save itself from being hurt again, was just more evident of the pain that Isabella had caused Alice. It was evident that she still wasn't good enough for Alice. Despite the two days they spent opening up, sharing, hiding away and kissing away the pain that Isabella had caused it still was there, hiding in the heart and mind of the woman she loved. Isabella couldn't help to thinks that maybe one day she would hurt Alice again, on purpose or on mistake, and if that would be the time that Alice couldn't take it anymore.
Alice placed her hands on Isabella's hair, slowly waking from the catastrophic moment. The water in her ears began to recede and the oceans of confusion hadn't drug her away. Isabella was leaving but she wasn't leaving her. The understanding broke through, if only long enough for her to get her mind around the words Isabella meant. She couldn't stay in the house. It was too uncomfortable. Rosalie and Jasper, Emmett and Edward weren't going to make it easy. Alice wasn't so far gone in love that she didn't recognize that truth. She wasn't so full of herself and her wants that she couldn't think past it to see that as much as she wanted Isabella to stay right where she was that maybe things were moving too fast, not just for Isabella but for everyone. There was going to be some adjustments and things were off to a rocky start.
She stroked her beauty's hair softly, gently nudging the woman back to her. Isabella raised her head; seeing Alice's eyes clearer and alert.
"Oh my god, Alice! Don't do that to me again, please, you can't leave me like that," Isabella begged, hugging Alice tighter than she ever held onto anything.
"I don't know what happened. I guess I kind of freaked out for a moment," Alice said. Embarrassments weld up in her.
"No, No! It was my fault. I didn't say that right. God," Isabella mentally berated herself again. "See I just keep hurting you, over and over again."
"We're going to figure this out, Isabella," Alice said pulling the woman up to the seat beside her. "I guess I just have to trust what you say."
"You have every reason not to trust me. I now all of this is my fault. It shouldn't have had to be this way; this hard." Isabella walked away from Alice, taking a seat back on the bed.
The sun had begun to come up more in the window behind them as they shock off the panic attack; another moment of reminder that they had so much pain to work through. It had only been weeks. They had only known each other for a few weeks, discovered each other and yet it seemed like for every happy moment there was already a hard moment.
"Okay, listen," Alice joined Isabella on the bed, "let's start this morning again." The sound of her heart drowning had passed her and she could think clearly.
"Start over," Isabella laughed, but there was no humor in her voice. "We can do that?"
"We can do whatever we want, love."
The two stared at each other. Alice's smile warmed Isabella. She rubbed her hand down Alice's face, and watched as her eyes closed in delight. From her words that stung Alice to her touch that could bring her back to life, Isabella didn't understand how she had so much power. She didn't want to abuse it.
"Good morning, beautiful," Isabella said.
"Good morning, love."
"I can't believe I'm here with you. I got to wake up again to see your face; feel your touch. Having my sight back never meant much to me before you came into my life. I would burn a thousand more times in this change if it meant I can see your smile again."
Isabella pulled Alice from the spot before her, and into her waiting lap. Stretching, Isabella wrapped Alice around her out stretched legs. Gently she pulled Alice towards her waiting lips, pressing their lips together. Alice didn't hesitate to taste the sweetness of Isabella; her scent enveloping her. Isabella's hand tangled in Alice's hair holding her securely in that place. The feeling of ecstasy began to coil in Isabella's stomach again. With her eyes closed she could still see images of Alice's smiling face and the moments when ecstasy softened her edges and even her peaceful profile as she lay in Isabella's arm. Each image pushed Isabella more to the desire to hold onto the gift that was Alice. But the moment would have to wait; there was still more to discuss.
Isabella pulled away from Alice with one last peck to the lips.
"I love you, Isabella," Alice said; her eyes still closed and her body still wrapped around Isabella's body.
"I love you too, Alice." Isabella looked at the smile she brought to Alice's face, hoping that she could to this right this time, keeping that smile right there.
"Alice, I never want to be without you near me, but I don't think that it's a good idea that I move in here with your family yet. I made a mistake," Isabella started, but was interrupted by Alice. "Just listen to me, please?"
Alice nodded her head. She reminded herself that they could not afford any more assumptions.
"When I heard your family in the woods two days ago I planned on approaching them. Letting them meet me before I came to you. But that didn't work out right. I already had hurt you and for that they were going to be leery of me, so the attack in the woods only made matters worse."
"But it wasn't your fault! Jasper attacked you first," Alice interrupted again.
"Love, it doesn't matter who attacked who. All that matters is that I could have stopped all of this days ago. I could have made this easier on both of us weeks ago. But I didn't. I let being afraid stop me. I let being afraid hurt you." Isabella fought the self-hate that was welling up inside of her. She wasn't worthy to be loved and trusted by anyone epically someone as kind as Alice, she thought to herself. But she tried not to let those thoughts stop her. If she was being selfish to allow Alice to love her than she would hold on to it for as long as she could.
"And so you're leaving again?" Alice asked.
"I'm not leaving, Alice. Stop saying it that way. I will just be staying somewhere else. You will still see me every day. I will still see you every day. I know it won't be easy, I finally got you back," Isabella rubbed her hands down Alice's exposed collar bone. She placed a kiss to the side of Alice's neck, drinking in her scent that exploded from her there.
"Where would you go? Back to the trees?" Alice said, only half joking. Alice heart dropped again. The water began to swell in her ears, but she tried hard to still hear. She didn't know what she was going to do if every word from Isabella, that she didn't want to hear, was going to cause her to react so extremely.
"I don't know yet, I have money. Maybe you can help me find a place? I haven't been a part of society in quite a while." Isabella laid back against the bed, her head resting on the pillow that Alice used the night before. She held Alice to her chest, not allowing her to move way.
Alice had no intentions of moving.
"You will know exactly where to find me. I will see you all the time. I'm sure your family will appreciate me not being here, Alice."
"I don't care what they will appreciate," Alice raised her head from Isabella's chest. The water soared above level at the thought of what her family would and wouldn't appreciate. They already had their happily ever after. All Alice could think about was that it was time for her to have her own now.
Alice wasn't there when the family first began to grow, but Jasper and Emmett stayed with Edward and Rosalie the moment they found each other according to all the stories the family shared with her over the years. They didn't live apart out of respect for everyone else. She hated that her love story had to be an exception to the unwritten tradition.
"Yes, you do care," Isabella's voice brought her back to the present. "That's the kind of person you are. You're kind and loving and happy and you want others to be happy, including your family."
Alice laid her head back on Isabella's chest. She didn't want to confirm or deny Isabella's words. They sat in silence; Isabella rubbing her hand down Alice's back; Alice grasping Isabella's shirt as if the elusive woman was going to dart away from her at any moment.
"Well, if not for your family than remember that it will help me as well."
"Help you how? You still don't know what you want? You still need time?" Alice rolled from Isabella's body and took the spot of the bed where Isabella had "slept" peacefully the previous night.
"No, I know what I want: you! But I don't know how to be with you, Alice. I've never been with anyone. I've never lived with anyone for more than a few years and even then it was hardly living. It's going to be different for me being around so many people; people like me, for such a long time."
Alice still didn't understand. It was another thing she didn't have to experience. She lived on her own for a decade before she found her family. The moment she stepped into their home it immediately became her home. She wasn't uncomfortable. She wasn't worried. She was happy. Her visions had made it all possible, but she liked to think that even if she wasn't able to see the future that she still would have been content and able to find the peace that the Cullen's provided her. It was hard for her to phantom Isabella's discomfort. Despite all that Isabella had shared with her, Alice still didn't understand it. It was different, but she had to trust that Isabella knew what it was that she needed.
"Okay, "Alice finally relented. "I don't understand it and it scares me, Isabella, I won't lie to you." Alice stopped to call her mind to control the muffled sounds in her ears again; letting the water recede. "But I have to trust you; I have to trust that you say you aren't leaving me again."
Alice rolled back into Isabella's arm. Alice's words stung Isabella though she wasn't entirely certain why. Again the reminder that she may have damaged the bond that her and Alice shared stabbed at her heart. She would have to work, not only to understand a different life, a life surrounded by others, and show Alice's family that she wanted nothing more than to be with Alice, but also prove her words to Alice. Fear welled in her again; anxiety that maybe she couldn't do this after all swallowed her from the inside. The fear of everything, every word and every change and every new thing she would have to learn and become tore at her mind. She could only hope she was stronger than she thought she was.
"Isabella," Alice interrupted Isabella's self-doubting thoughts, "can we stay like this for just one more day. Tomorrow things can change?"
"Yeah, I'd like that," Isabella said, closing her eyes, erasing her thoughts, focusing only on the scent of Alice.
xXx
She said that she wasn't leaving, but as Alice escorted Isabella out of the room and down the stairs that morning, it felt like Isabella was already gone. And though the day was going to be spent together, helping Isabella find somewhere to stay, Alice couldn't shake that feeling that what she was actually doing was finding a way for them to be apart.
As they walked past Alice's siblings that morning there was an array of emotions. Alice still felt the hurt and betrayal of her family. The heavy emotion coated her thought process, leaving no escape for the shredded of understanding that she had. And she did understand, just not enough. She clinched Isabella's hand; walking with her head down as she passed by Alice's siblings. Alice could feel the fear and uncertainty rolling off her love. She thought how Isabella became so reserved around other people; so withdrawn. It was that additional feeling that fueled the anger over the understanding; Alice knew that. She also knew at some point she would forgive her family and move on, start on the very happily-ever-after she knew that she and Isabella could have, but she also knew that the day was not that day. And she wondered if every time she had to return to that house, without Isabella in tow, would that feeling continue. She had never felt true anger or disappointment in her family. She didn't know what to expect or how long it could last.
Her family looked at her with the same level of uncertainty. She could feel and she knew with certainty the emotions of Isabella, but she couldn't place that of her siblings. She couldn't phantom why they, of all people, would be angry, but that was the only word that she could put to the face of Edward, and Rosalie. Emmett looked disappointed and yet protective even still and Jasper looked both hurt and lost. The only one who looked at her with sympathy, love, and compassion was Esme. She wore a faint smile at the corner of her lips.
Alice and Isabella walked past them all, with not so much as a good morning or a goodbye. There was no talk of when she would return or if she would be alone. Alice rationed that they all likely overheard the conversation she and Isabella shared over the last two and a half days and that was all the information they needed. Alice thought to herself that she wished she and Isabella could just run off together and leave everything else behind. She had no worries of starting over. She had no worries of what could be lost.
It was at that moment she caught a glimpse of Edward's face shift from angry to surprised and sullen. She knew he had heard her thoughts. She didn't care; she didn't try to explain them silently to her brother. Alice continued to dag Isabella behind her towards the garage; leaving Edward to deal with it on his own.
Isabella was shocked at the bright yellow Porsche that which a door was opened to her. She thought how the color matched Alice's personality, bright, and the car was definitely beautiful, just like Alice.
"What can I say: I like extravagant things," Alice responded to Isabella's questioning stare.
As Alice drove them away Isabella's mind began to think over something else that never accord to her: could she give Alice the life she was accustomed too, was that all of that matter to Alice? She knew she wasn't without her own resources. She had done well for herself, needing so little as she bound from place to place, from circus to circus; spending very little. Yet, it seemed it was nothing in comparison to what Alice was, had, or possibly expected.
"Where are we going?" She asked Alice.
Alice was lost in her own thoughts of what to expect. Still worried what any other space between the two of them could do.
"To an employee of my family, if you will." Alice answered, without further explanation.
Isabella didn't want to ask what she meant. They pulled in front of a warned down store front. On both sides of the building were narrow allies and more buildings that looked as if they saw better days long ago. The ally to the right of the door was occupied by two men, one standing, leaning against the wall, and another sitting in a metal chair with his elbows on his knees; hands clasped together. Isabella eyes drifted to the park that was directly across the street. Three other men stood there against the fence of the vacant park. The cloudy day added an extra layer of gloom to the already dilapidated neighborhood. Isabella wasn't use to being around characters of such a level of shadiness. Circus people had a different presence of unsavory characteristics and that was enough for Isabella. She had learned to avoid uncertain places such as this when she was alone; not wanting to defend herself the only way she knew how. As she rounded the car taking Alice's hand she noticed the man in the ally stood from his seat and the remaining man stood up straighter. Isabella glanced in Alice's direction. She looked the definition of calm and non-threaten.
They made it to the front door of the building in which they had parked. Alice rang the doorbell and the action irritated Isabella. They were not in the best of neighborhoods and the proprietor had the audacity to lock their door. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as she watched the men who stood behind her in the park, through the dark, dirty glass of the shop's window. The men in the park crossed the street. Isabella held tighter to Alice's hand, gaining her attention. Each passing second seemed like a moment closer that Isabella was going to have to defend herself and the love of her life from less than savory characters that were surrounding her. Just as the three men made it across the street, joining their must-be associates in the ally, Isabella heard someone approach the door. She could only see a piece of the man through the horridly damaged blinds that covered the door from the inside. He was a young man, but he looked a lot less threatening than those who were encroaching on her and Alice.
"Appointment?" The man said; his voice shaky with uncertainty.
"Cullen for Jenks," Alice responded. The patience Isabella had seen in Alice's face was not present in her voice.
The sound of locks and knobs clicking quickly on the other side of the door gave Isabella hope. She pulled Alice through the door before it could be fully open to them. The man was even younger than Isabella could see through the window. She was thankful he locked the doors behind them. He was weary and Isabella wondered if he was even twenty years old. His dark brown hair fell in his face, but intentionally evident by the sides being shaved closed to his head.
"You must be Mike," Alice stated rather than asked. For the first time it was Isabella who stood before Alice, prepared to protect if need be. Alice had explained that there would be nothing to worry about, but Isabella felt she could never be too cautious.
"Ye- yeah, I am," he stuttered, never looking Alice, or Isabella, in the eye. "Jenks is waiting for you in the back."
Isabella could smell the fear that was pouring out of his pores. The scent surrounded him even more so as he wiped his hands on his apron.
Isabella and Alice followed the boy through the back of the shop, squeezing between shelves of paper and boxes. The scent of human was faint in the small shop. Mike's scent was the only living blood that seemed to permeate every square inch. The only other smell was familiar to Isabella but couldn't be certain of its origin. The smell was of heavy old earth. The scent rested heavily on every paper surface and only became more concentrated as they moved further through the building. The dark space was stuffy, lacking in windows. Isabella looked at the walls, seeing only vents high above them. Before her was a long marble tables littered with documents. She recognized the seal for the state of New York. The cream colored paper looked official and with the slots for information she was able to recognize it was going to be someone's new birth certificate.
Mike had walked around the marble table and took up statue position in the corner. Directly behind the table was another door. Isabella could barely make out that the door was open but the darkness that poured from it wasn't natural. She cautiously looked around the small rectangle room. Alice stood directly beside her, still holding her hand. Isabella kept the door in which they transferred directly behind her, prepared to quickly depart. She tried to draw on Alice's calm and obvious certainty of the situation and her surroundings, but she couldn't quite accomplish the feat.
A figure filled the door, spilling into the room, making the space that much smaller. Isabella realized then that the extra scent was just as she suspected. It was the crimson eyes she saw first. The unearth smell saturating the room; eclipsing even that of the sweet scent of Alice she had begun to grow accustom too. It was all that she had to focus on other than Alice's touch when she was so uncertain and now it was completely masked by the ancient vampire that sat before her. His red eyes borrowed into Isabella, almost knowingly but Isabella knew that couldn't be. She had never met him before, and she was certain if they had ever crossed path she would have departed quickly.
"Alice Brandon-Cullen," he hissed, his eyes never leaving Isabella. "Now sweets, you know I don't permit any additional visitors."
"Jenks, after all of these years you still don't trust me, all that my family request of you. We alone keep you in business." Alice words were cocky.
"All the same, I would have liked a little bit of advance notice," he finally broke his eyes away from Isabella, falling on Alice.
"Well consider this your future notice. Isabella needs documents, and as a new member of our family, you can add her to our account for all future needs." Alice cut her eyes towards Isabella looking for any look of rejection to her words. Her stomach leaped to see no response from Isabella.
"Well is that so?" Jenks eyes fell on the joined hands of Isabella and Alice. "I guess congratulations are in order then."
Isabella noticed the eerie smile of the shop keeper which was only slightly more alarming than the quick downcast look of Alice's face.
"So," Jenks said echoed by the thundering clap of his hands. Isabella saw Mike jump just as quickly as she herself had at the sound. "What kind of documents are we doing today?"
"We need the Deluxe package," Alice answered.
"Oh, really? Well isn't somebody a little nobody," Jenks's eyes raked over Isabella.
Isabella didn't like the sound of being "a nobody," but there were truth there, she guessed if she had to be honest with herself.
"Well, let's at least start with some of the basics?" Jenks pulled out a wooden pen. "The trick in this trade is not to create, but to edit. Where were you born?"
"I'm not sure. I believe in Arizona," Isabella said looking at Alice as if she would know the answer.
"And when were you born?" Jenks ask ready to jot down the answer.
"I don't know."
"Hmm, no age. How about your parents; who were they? Jenks asked.
"I don't know that either. I don't remember much." Isabella felt Alice sad eyes on her.
"Well how long ago where you changed?" Jenks voice grew with frustration. The sound of the pen hitting the marble table was followed by a crack. Isabella knew the pen was broken on contact.
"Hey!" Alice reprimanded the man.
"You people have no respect for the importance of identity. It is more than just who you are!"
Isabella glanced over at the human in the corner. His eyes were trained to the floor. She wondered if this outburst was an everyday occurrence for the man who dared to be in the regular company of a vampire.
"Do you think I draw this magic from the whims of my imagination? This is an art. But even the greatest artist is nothing without the proper tools. I remember a time when people cherished this knowledge."
The vision hit Isabella with a force as great as Jenks's voice. It was Jenks, opening up the doors of this very shop for the first time. There was only two locks on the door back then. The outside of the building was at its original pristine condition. As the elements of the neighborhood had worn on the image of the building so had it on the image of Jenks. His tall confident build once sat at desk full of neatly stacked documents awaiting to be created into something. Patron after patron filled his halls acquiring about documents to replace the outdated versions of themselves. Vampires aged only by existence, but never by appearance, stuffed the foyer seeking a new slate for their rich history. Jenks smiled at returning customers. Isabella noticed one pair distinctively. Carlisle and Esme had in fact trusted the skills of Jenks for quite some time as Alice had said. Jenks thought of decades after decades of the pair returning to him in need of simple updates. Carlisle and Esme, just like every other vampire who entered the store, knew who they were; and who they always had been.
But as Jenks memories passed in fast forward the patrons of his shop knowing less and less of who they were or where to start. The ill-informed frustrated Jenks, turning his prized skill into a guessing game; a quest for identities. He had begun to break down in his own appearance and his maintenance of his shop. But the hope for change was still there and he vowed to never go anywhere, in hopes that the day will shift back to the time when identities were respected and cherished.
Isabella eased out of the vision smother than she had been thrown in. She awoke to Jenks eyeing her suspiciously, and Alice holding onto her arms. Isabella saw the knowing grin of Alice.
"Everyone isn't so gracious to be eased into a brave new world, Jenks. You would be wise to remember those words and correct your tone." Alice's words dripped with a hidden threat.
Reluctantly, Jenks replied, "Of course."
"How much?" Isabella asked, bringing the meeting back to the focus in which it was requested.
"Ten thousands," Jenks said as a matter of fact.
"What?"
"It's the cost of losing yourself. Your humanity changed not your identity!"
"Its fine." Alice exchanged glances between Isabella and Jenks. "I will pay for it."
"No you won't! I have my own money, Alice!" Isabella shrieked unintentionally at Alice. Instantly she felt horrible for taking the tone.
Isabella watched as Alice corrected her position, taken aback by the outburst. Isabella wanted to reach over the marble table and wipe the smirk from Jenks's face, but the last thing she wanted was to create another long term strained relationship. She checked her tone and corrected her posture remembering why all of this was important: to be with Alice meant to be a part of society. To be a part of society meant to be a somebody and Isabella was lacking in that.
"I will contact you when the documents are ready."
"You do that and put a rush on the Drives License. We need it immediately," Alice said.
"As you desire," Jenks said bowing. His actions and words were condescending so much so that Isabella hissed.
With a final look at the human still quietly hiding in plain sight away in the corner, Isabella was ushered from the small inner room back to the front desk, into the foyer and out of the door. The sound of locks turning back into place was heard before they could get back into the not so discreet vehicle.
Isabella had to be honest: she half expected the vehicle to be gone when they returned. A quick assessment of the area proved that the surroundings hadn't changed: two men in the ally and three in the park. Isabella wondered if they for some odd reason worked for Jenks as well. He was not in need of security, of that Isabella was certain.
The day dragged on and Isabella had never known exhaustion this way before. But the day was not without its success. By the time the yellow car pulled back into its spot in the Cullen garage, Isabella had a new cell phone, a few new pieces of clothes, better suitcase, the promise of ID within a few days and an entire identity in the coming weeks. Isabella was emotionally downcast. The last things she wanted were to face Alice's family again.
It was beginning to become one of those things she couldn't avoid but tried her best to do. Once she had her ID she could being looking for a temporary place while she and Alice and the rest of the Cullen worked out their place in each other's life. Isabella didn't know what all of that would be. She only knew she didn't want to figure it out right then after the day they had.
"Do you mind if we go to the forest?" Isabella asked as Alice walked to her side of the car.
"Sure," Alice said, taking Isabella by the hand and leaving all of the newness of Isabella's life behind.
Alice hadn't asked Isabella about her outburst in Jenks's office. She didn't know how to breech the subject; or what the subject was. There was still so much she didn't know about Isabella and money was one of them. She wanted to help Isabella but didn't know how much help she needed or wanted, for that matter. Quietly, they found themselves amongst the trees. Alice hadn't realized that she was allowing Isabella to lead them.
"Climb on," Isabella said, turning her back to Alice.
With a giggle as soft as a bell, Alice said, "Are you serious?"
"Of course I am... please?" Isabella added.
Alice climbed onto the back of the love of her life. As if she carried nothing at all, Isabella began climbing the tree. Limb by limb she moved about the branches as if they were her own personal ladder. Where there was no limb to grasp, Isabella's fingers dug into the bark of the tree, giving her plenty of hold to climb.
Alice buried her face in the long tress of Isabella's hair. She took deep breaths, drawing in the scent of talc and fresh powders and satin. Alice imagined that Isabella smelled of a ballerina: gentle and soft.
Isabella climbed onto a narrow branch. As if to pull a small sack from her back she assisted Alice to wrap around her body and straddle the narrow branch of the tree. Sliding back onto the body of the tree, Isabella pulled Alice with her holding the petite woman in her arm.
"Look right across . . . there," Isabella indicated pointing out in front of her.
The day had passed away as the two ran around the city of New York creating Isabella. Their superior eyes aided them in seeing in the darkening surroundings and through the mass of tree limbs and leaves. Alice could see straight into her dark and empty bedroom.
"Oh! So this is where you called home?" Alice asked.
"No it was never home, just a place to be," Isabella answered. She nestled into Alice's neck. It created a crest for Isabella to rest her cheek, her lips tickling the inside of Alice's neck, her nose grazing Alice's jawline.
"I'm sorry for getting loud with you in Jenks's office," Isabella whispered.
The words penetrated deep into Alice soul immediately soothing her.
"You know I am here to help you, right? Anything I have you have as well."
"I have plenty, Alice. I can pay for all my own things. I just . . . I just don't know if I can give you everything you are use too." Isabella had known what it meant to feel lowly but this was a feeling of inadequate she had never known.
"Hey. I'm not asking you to buy me another Porsche. Those are just things, Just toys. They don't mean anything to me."
Isabella looked at Alice skeptically.
"Okay, so maybe they mean a little bit to me, but I am not asking you to buy them for me. I can buy them myself."
"That's just the thing. You can do plenty without me. Why do you need me here?" Isabella wished she could have ran at that moment but she promised. She promised she would stop running.
"I need you to love me just the way I am, just the way you are. Your love is worth more to me than all the cars and toys in the world. I could sell them all and still not get what your love was worth. Okay?"
Isabella saw sincerity in Alice's eyes. With a nod of her head she chose to believe Alice; putting this on just another list of things she would have to deal with and get over.
xXx
Alice held Isabella's hand as she pulled her through the double glass doors of the back of the house. When they walked into the home it seemed like all eyes were on them yet again. Edward sat at the piano, with Jasper lounging closely. Emmett sat on the floor flicking at the controls of a video game as Rosalie lay across the couch, a book in her hands. Alice didn't bother to stop or even acknowledge them. Pulling Isabella behind her, she climbed the stairs to her room. Isabella hid behind her hair, only feeling more of the guilt that seemed to be picking up along the way of her new life.
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