Chapter 11: You'll Come Back

The ball Caspian had prepared in his reclaimed castle was beyond any words I had. Of course, I couldn't remember much from my past life, but I was almost positive I had never before seen anything like it. The music, lights, laughter and dancing was a lot to take in and we all went to bed that night with full tummies and smiles on our faces.

The next morning was quiet and although no one was saying it, we all knew why. There were several times that Susan and Peter disappeared and no one questioned it. When I turned the corner and spotted them whispering with Aslan, I respectively curtsied before leaving the room, not wanting to interrupt. I knew my time would come eventually, but for now, the eldest had things to discuss with him.

I was observing the library that I had grown so fond of- the one where the professor helped me and Caspian with our studies- when Aslan entered the room. Caspian, who was also lounging around the room with me, stood up out of a cushioned chair to bow his head.

"Jessabelle." His low voice spoke out and I nodded my head, knowing what was coming next.

I didn't glance over at Caspian as much as I wanted to as we ducked out of the room. I followed him to a balcony that overlooked the whole courtyard and I was silent, waiting for him to speak first.

"You have questions." He commented, not seeming surprised.

I hesitated, trying to gather the words I was looking for. "I've remembered more lately. And I know why I forgot in the first place… Your country. I don't remember it, but I was there, yes?" He nodded. "Then how come I'm here now? You told me people never leave your country once they enter… Why am I different?"

"You asked me to let you go." He told me.

"I did? Why in Narnia would I do that?"

He chuckled before turning his head to look down at the courtyard. I looked below us at the four figures who were standing by the large fountain in the middle. Edmund was teasing Lucy as she was trying to reach him, but her small arms weren't long enough to grab him as he dodged her. I giggled along with Peter and Susan who were watching from the side.

"You grew fonder of them than I had expected."

I watched as he continued to grin down at them. When I said nothing, he continued, "I offered you a place in my country, but you had other plans. You begged me to let you return to them and in return, you'd keep them safe." He looked up at me with his large eyes and I suddenly felt very bashful as he looked at me with pride. "This is why I named you Jessabelle the Giving. You gave your life to Edmund on that battlefield many years ago, but you also gave your life to watch over his siblings as well."

As I thought through his words, my mind wandered down to Edmund once more. His messy black hair falling in his face as he threw his head back to laugh. His laugh echoing along the walls and hitting me hard somewhere deep inside me, causing heat to rise to my cheeks.

"He's different… It confuses me…" I spoke quietly under my breath.

My face felt hotter as Aslan chuckled beside me. "You'll understand in time."

My air of happiness popped immediately when I finally asked the question that hung over the whole kingdoms head, "They're leaving soon, aren't they?"

"Mmm, yes," Aslan answered.

"What will happen to Caspian? To me?"

"Narnia needs smart, kind rulers. You two indeed fit that well."

I couldn't help but make a face as the next questioned slipped past my tongue, "I don't have to marry Caspian in order to rule beside him, do I?"

He laughed and the sinking feeling in my chest quickly fluttered away, "No, child. Not if you don't want to."

He left not long after that as I watched the Pevensies'. Edmund's hair continued to fall in front of his brown eyes every time he got away from Lucy.

It wasn't long after that when they left. Aslan gave the children and some of the Telmarines a way out of Narnia through an archway between two trees. As I watched one of the Telmarine families disappear through the arch, I knew what was to come next.

"How can we trust it?" One man in the crowd cried out.

"Yeah, what if it is a trap?" Another shouted.

"We'll go." Peter announced.

"We will?" Lucy questioned.

I had expected this, knowing they were leaving eventually, but it didn't help the tight squeeze that appeared in my lungs. I hung my head low as Peter handed his sword to Caspian who stood next to me.

"I'll take care of it until you get back." Caspian promised.

"That's just it… We're not coming back." Susan told him.

My head shot up immediately and my heart skipped a beat when my eyes met Edmund's. His were as wide as mine felt and his lips were slightly parted, seeing that this was news to him as well.

"We're not?" Lucy squealed, looking ready to cry.

"You two are," Peter assured her, placing a hand on hers and Edmund's shoulder. "At least, I think he means you two…" He glanced back at Aslan who stood on my other side. Aslan gave a small nod and the pinch in my chest eased just a tad more.

However, I was sad to see the older two go. They walked through and gave everyone a hug. I was sure to give Susan and Peter both an extra squeeze, almost positive that having those two leave should hurt the most; however, when Edmund stepped forward, I knew it wasn't true.

"Here, I want you to have this," I told him, taking his hand and closing it around the object I had been holding onto since we won the battle. "Think of it as… A good luck charm, while you're away."

"What's my good luck charm when I'm not away?" He asked with a smile to show that he already knew the answer that I was about to give.

"Me, of course." I smiled back before we shared a little bit of giggling.

His face sobered up once more and I sighed. I opened my mouth, but he quickly interrupted. "Don't say goodbye." His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper and his eyes stared deep into mind as if he was searching for something. "I hate goodbyes."

I shook my head and didn't miss a beat as I responded, "It's not a goodbye, Edmund. It's a see you later…"

I finally let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding as he smiled back at me.

I got to watch Caspian exchange a kiss with Susan before the four Pevensies turned to walk towards the archway. And I continued to smile along with Edmund as I watched his figure disappear between the two trees.

"They'll come back," Caspian assured me.

"I know."

Edmund's POV

The train station still smelled like oil as we returned to England. I didn't bother glancing back behind me, because I knew what I wanted wouldn't be standing there anymore. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the train stopped in front of us. I could still smell wildflowers and sunshine, it's exactly what she smells like. I could still recall how it felt to hold her close and how soft her hair was when I placed my cheek on the top of her head. I could still feel her presence as if she was standing next to me.

Before the train doors opened, I glanced down at the object she had placed in the palm of my hand. It was a small figurine of a stag, painted white and silver. It looked familiar, as if I had seen it before.

"Edmund, are you coming?" Peter's voice broke me of my trance.

I quickly picked up my suitcase and rushed inside the train to stand beside them. As I placed the figurine inside the chest pocket of my vest, I frowned, suddenly remembering something else that is silver.

"When do you think we'll be going back?" I asked, digging through my bag just to confirm my suspicions. As I looked back up to see the odd looks they were giving me, I sighed, "I left my torch back in Narnia…"