Wah! Long time no freakin' see! It's me, Zaskaea, finally back at her own keyboard. I guess I have some things to say. Sorry for these long A/Ns, but I'm deprived.
My typing skills have deteriorated MASSIVELY over my 'off time'. This took me years to get done, and my writers block was pretty crappy. I had so many ideas, but no idea of how to get them on paper. I hope this is ok.
Thanks to all who wished me a nice trip to Berlin. It was pretty good, I have to say, but I have now discovered the agony of a delayed flight (I'd never flown before until then) and was forced to play poker using gummy-bears instead of cash with my friends in the terminal for THREE HOURS because my DS ran out of battery. Anyway, the shopping time I got allowed me to bag 16 manga books and one pretty pissed off mother. XD However, I am now confused. I got some German -Man volumes (squee!). 'Lenalee' was spelt 'Linali'. I already knew about these variations, and blame it on the translation, but whatevs. In my story the names STAY, dammit!
DISCLAIMER: Don't own, never will. I own some awesome Ace-card earrings, though, which has no connection whatsoever. (If you don't count Allen's poker cheating kazam)
Warning: Proof-reading is probably shit.
Allen was elated. He and Kanda had separated from their embrace and, in a content silence, gone back downstairs. Although Kanda's expression had remained unreadable, the air around him was no longer frozen enough to frighten off those who began to shiver in the cold temperature of his outer being.
They had gone outside together, exchanging the occasional rapid glance, and got down to work. Kanda had snapped at Lavi, directed Lenalee in a slightly more courteous fashion, but exchanged not a single word with Allen.
Lavi had appeared worried. For once, he had not understood. Allen and Kanda were fine with this, although neither of them really knew what the 'fuck' had happened.
The sound of roots being tugged from hard soil was loud from Lavi's direction, and Lenalee's gentle trimming of the little hedge-plants was accompanied by the signature sound of the shears she used. A certain Japanese, however, had been having a thought.
"Where the hell did you learn the word baka?" Kanda hissed as he watered the back flowerbed with the hose. Allen, who had been sorting the many pots on the neat patio, looked up with a shy smile.
"Manga… and anime stuff… and you…" he replied honestly, wiping his forehead with a gloved hand.
"Fucking weeaboo." Kanda's answer may have seemed harsh, but suddenly Allen felt like he could see right through those unkind words.
Allen's laugh sure did catch Lavi's attention, and said redhead began to wonder whether he was losing it. For some reason, he no longer had the urge to irritate the argumentative constantly. Somehow… they just didn't seem like they should be disturbed.
Once the garden was done, the house was very quickly cleaned. Lenalee took charge immediately and was not to be argued with, something the boys didn't know if they liked or hated. Allen almost thought that the girl was being sexist on herself, but maybe that was only his opinion.
The upstairs cleaning was slightly more 'dangerous'; anyone who attempted to enter Kanda's room was, to put it simply, politely offered a brutal death. Needless to say, nobody tried again after that, not even if they had red hair.
In fact, Kanda only snapped once, and that was when Lavi tried hoovering the guest room beds with just the hoover's hose, nearly sucking the blankets up in the process. Everyone decided that this time, only Lavi's stupidity was to blame. He was punished by being handed a duster and being forced to clean every single glass shelf in Kanda's house, and that was a lot.
The 'if you break anything' rule still counted.
Turned out, Lavi had a favourite game he enjoyed playing. As Kanda went to order some pizza via phone ("We're not all Sobatarians, Yuu-Chan!"), he introduced Allen to the innuendo game.
Allen looked rather perplexed. "The innuendo game..?" he asked, clueless, and Lavi had to stop himself from laughing at the kid's almost overwhelming innocence.
"You say a word or a phrase. Anything. The, the person who makes the best innuendo out of it gets a point. Y'know?"
To Allen's surprise, Lenalee wasn't giving Lavi that 'you're so hopeless sweetheart' look. In fact, she seemed to be as interested as her boyfriend.
Allen, seeing that he didn't really have a way out of this, took out the hairband that Lavi had believed would be impossible for him to use (and was quickly proved wrong) and sat down on the carpet as his friends watched him understandingly from their seats on the cream sofa. Lenalee glanced around the room, searching for something to name. "Scissors," she said slowly, obviously at a loss of things to say. Allen just stared as Lavi almost laughed himself off the sofa.
"Oh shit. I'm not going to answer to that one…" next to him, Lenalee was smirking evilly.
Allen, still unsure about what had been so funny, faced Lenalee instead. "How about mug?" she asked.
"I think I prefer the term 'cup' there, and the size of yours is ballistic."
Lenalee actually winced and rolled her eyes. "Lavi, that was awful, and not very true. Any ideas for a different word, Allen?"
Vaguely remembering Lavi's earlier rant about the failure of a certain apparatus in his science lessons, Allen had blurted out "overhead projector" before he could consider the consequences. Lavi was almost crying. Then, Allen seemed to get it and blushed crimson.
"Hey, Allen, have you ever even watched porn or anything?" Lavi asked, completely shamelessly. Allen gasped, thanking God that Kanda wasn't in the room to hear that and beat the redhead up.
"No!" he cried, embarrassed by the very word. "I most certainly have not!"
"Wow." Lenalee said gently. "You do emphasise your accent when you are angry."
Allen ignored her, because Lavi was still laughing like crazy. Thank God Kanda probably can't hear us.
"Masturbated?"
This time, Allen nearly choked on his own breath. Lavi instantly matched that up with the ever growing blush and stopped his laughter. "Ooh, Allen, you naughty boy…" he smirked. The whitehead in question just sputtered uncharacteristically.
"Sh-shut up!"
Lenalee finally smacked Lavi up the back of the head, shooting Allen an apologetic look. "I'll tell him all about what happened at last year's end of year bash if you don't quit it, Lavi."
Those words seemed to have some kind of effect, because the redhead actually listened. Allen was still trying to fight off his growing blush.
"So, when did you do it anyway? Anyone you like to think of while y-"
"LAVI!" Lenalee was thoroughly grateful that her brother was not present; he'd definitely kill the lot of the males in this house for corrupting her apparent 'purity'.
Down on the floor, Allen almost took on a whiny tone as he spoke. "Why do you even want to know?"
"Just curious. You look waaay too innocent for my liking." That was followed by a typical Lavi wink. Well, actually, it just looked like a blink with a little more emphasis, since the boy's other eye was covered by that pirate-like eye patch.
Innocent? I'll never be innocent again since…
"I'm… not…" Allen decided to look away, still red faced. "Just forget it."
Apparently, Lavi didn't get the message. "Hey, it doesn't matter. I've masturbated over pictures of-"
Lenalee, heaving a deep sigh, actually punched Lavi in the head this time. "Allen," she said plainly, "sometimes you're one of the only bearable boys I know."
The whitehead in question was staring at the weeping Lavi with an unreadable expression. "I'm guessing that's a compliment?"
The pizza came shortly after that strange conversation, and Kanda had sworn to decapitate anyone who got any tomato sauce on his carpet, since they had decided to eat it at the coffee table while watching television.
Allen stared down at the massive margherita before him with a despairing look. "How am I supposed to eat all this…?" he mumbled, and the glare he got from Kanda could have drilled a hole through the side of his head.
"You're eating that if you fucking well like it or not, baka moyashi." He grumbled, and Lavi raised his eyebrows.
"If you're going to worry about Allen, do it nicely, Yuu…"
"Fuck off."
"Maybe later."
Kanda watched the moyashi with hidden curiosity. The boy was fiddling with his pizza with those mismatched hands, trying to separate the slices with a nearly concentrated expression. It was almost endearing.
In fact, the boy was absolutely shocked when Kanda reached over, lifted the pizza and tore it down the bad half-cut places with a single tug before going back to his own meal. "Um." Allen said.
None of this went unnoticed by a certain rabbit, but he was too busy stuffing his face to comment. Lenalee was trying desperately to conceal her own smile.
As Allen had before demonstrated in the school canteen, his eating style was a rather questionable one. It was a miracle that he managed to eat the pizza he'd previously insisted on not having in record time and getting no tomato sauce on his face whatsoever in the process. However, he did get quite a bit on his fingers, and was further unintentionally embarrassing himself by licking it off each digit one by one. Yes, the moyashi's table manners sucked, and no, that wasn't a pun.
Kanda shook himself back to reality. What…
Lavi and Lenalee were staring at the TV screen, completely engrossed by the film. Allen was watching with half-assed interest now, leaning his head on the edge of the glass coffee table. Kanda frowned. He'd been staring at the moyashi, the only one not watching the television. How had that happened?
The tallest of the four leaned back into his armchair, vaguely noticing Lavi reaching out for more of his pizza. Still not interested in the film, Kanda became conscious of the clock slowly ticking away in the background. Glancing at it shortly, he realised that it was almost seven. Seven! Lavi, Lenalee and Allen had been in his house since eleven! However…
It had somehow been nice, having friends around to help him. Kanda pinched the bridge of his nose and slowly closed his eyes. Could he say that the day had been… nice?
The hallway… ah, yes, the hallway. Kanda had tried to avoid mulling over that one since it had happened earlier, but…
If he could have, the Japanese may well have smashed his head right against the wall at that moment. But he didn't, because the others were there, and he would look like a complete idiot.
He'd hugged Allen Walker back. He was so fucked.
It had been a strange moment, a moment that had completely whacked Kanda out of his usual demeanour. Had anyone ever done something like Allen before? Openly stood up to Kanda and struck his emotional cords so deeply that he'd…
Kanda wasn't sure what the heck was actually going on anymore. He hadn't even apologised yet, and it somehow seemed that Allen had forgiven him years ago.
Poke.
Ignore.
Poke.
Kanda's head whipped around, causing the teen to promptly smack Lavi in the face with his ponytail. "What?" he snapped, and to his surprise Lavi only made a pouty face instead of answering before first gesturing at the TV, which now had credits scrolling over the screen, and then at the moyashi, who was obviously managing to watch it even as he was lying spread out on the carpet like t-
Oh. He was asleep.
Allen's hair was spread out on the rug, mixing with the pale, wool-like texture easily. His position was much like that of a puppet that had just been dropped; it looked impossibly uncomfortable. He blinked in his sleep, and his shirt had rolled up a bit, exposing a flat but surprisingly toned stomach.
Kanda blinked. "What?" he repeated in a low whisper, and Lavi grinned at him shortly, still saying nothing.
"I think we should head off, Lavi." Lenalee said quietly, standing up and rubbing her eyes. "Thank you so much for your hospitality, Kanda. I hope we were of help to you. We're going to have to wake Allen up, though…"
"Heck no!" Lavi hissed, waving his arms a little wildly. "He's way too cute like this!"
"This is the second time his apparent insomnia seems bullshitted." Kanda muttered to himself, immediately realising his mistake a second later and glaring at the redhead as a warning that obviously wasn't received.
"Second time, eh…?" Something seemed to click in Lavi's brain as his face lit up. "Oooh, Yuu, what've you been up to with Allen recently, eh?"
"What are you, a fucking Canadian?" Kanda growled, getting off the sofa and so away from the irritating redhead. "Shut up and put away the fucking boxes."
Lavi just shrugged and did what he was told. Kanda then turned his attention to Lenalee, who was kneeling next to Allen with a tired look on her face. "We shouldn't wake him. He needs this sleep." She told Kanda, zipping up her cardigan. "Lavi can carry him home."
"And risk him waking up in my arms only to flip shit? No way." Lavi clicked his tongue. Lenalee frowned.
"Well it'd be worse if he woke up in a car!"
All eyes on Kanda.
Fuck, no-
"You're coming for him at eight on the DOT tomorrow. Now get him the fuck upstairs." Kanda snapped before stalking out of the room.
Had he taken another look into the living room, he may have just seen Lavi give Lenalee a silent high-five behind his back.
This responsibility shit is going to be the fucking death of me.
Ugh, whatever...
"Mana! Look at those baby ducks!"
The little boy ran down the riverbank, his bag of bread swaying in his grip with each step. His short, light brown hair bounced as he ran, and his smile only grew as he heard the answer of his guardian. "Yes, they are beautiful, aren't they?"
The boy hopped onto a nearby bench and pulled his knees up to his chest, continuing to peer at the ducks over his knees. The man who had been following approached at a slow pace, seating himself next to the younger, once again silent.
Becoming curious, the boy shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand and reached into his bread bag with the other, throwing some of the food onto the grass some metres on front of him. His grey eyes lit up when birds began to scramble towards it, flapping their wings and trying their best to obtain as much of the bread as they could despite the competition.
The child jumped off the bench, still under the watchful eye of his guardian, and approached something he had spotted in the bushes to his right. It was a group of young geese, their feathers still plain in colour and their necks still short and stubby, making them look a lot like little balls of feathery fluff. "Hello." The boy murmured in a friendly tone, although he grew sad when the little birds began to hurry away from him, making funny squawking noises as they did so. "W-wait! I won't hurt you!" Wondering why they were running, the boy followed, only to fall back with a yelp as something much larger than the chicks jumped out at him. It was a fully grown goose, her wings batting at him furiously, and hissing menacingly as she began to run at the child. "A-ah!"
Footsteps, and then the goose was running in the other direction again, leaping into the water of the river to join her young, who had already found safety. The boy, still in shock, tried to get to his feet, but once he noticed his racing heart he fell down again and began to cry loudly, digging his palms into his eyes.
"Did she frighten you, Allen?" Allen sobbed again, only becoming even noisier as Mana lifted him into his arms, cradling him gently. "There's no need to cry. Calm down, alright? I know that she may have seemed very horrible just then, but… do you know why she did that, Allen…?"
Allen looked up at his father, wiping the tears from his eyes and swallowing. "N-no… I don't think she liked me very much, and she was very frightening…"
"It wasn't personal, Allen. She was only trying to protect her little ones, so you shouldn't be sad."
Allen blinked, his large eyes clearly confused. "Huh…?" he hiccupped.
"She only wanted you to go away because she thought you wanted to hurt her chicks. She didn't do it because she hated you, she's only a goose following her instincts, what she thinks is right. She loves her chicks, and doesn't want them to get hurt."
"But I wouldn't have hurt them anyway. Although…" Comprehending a little more, the boy nodded and looked down at the grass, where sparrows and ducks still fought over the breadcrumbs he had thrown. "Oh…"
"See, Allen? If you thought somebody was going to come and hurt me, would you try to make them go away?"
The answer was immediate and vehement. "Of course I would!"
Mana laughed softly, placing Allen back down onto the bench, but still embracing him. "And why, Allen…?"
"I…" Allen frowned, trying to find the correct answer for such a question. After a moment, he smiled and threw his arms up in a gesture of joy. "For the same reason as that goose! Because I love you, Mana, and I don't want anyone to hurt you or take you away from me! Just like you don't want anyone to hurt or take me away, right?"
"That's exactly what I mean, Allen." Both of them laughed, and Allen clung to his father's arm with renewed energy.
"Everybody who loves someone else would want to protect them. That's right, isn't it?"
"Hm?"
"But I don't understand, Mana…"
The man turned to his son, his smile open. "What is it that you don't understand, then?" he asked.
"There isn't just one type of love, is there?"
Mana's eyes sparkled in the midday sun, and he leaned his head to the side with a silent sigh. "You're a clever boy, Allen. That is true."
"There's that love like you always talk about, like you and me. But you and me don't kiss in the way that you say married people do. We only kiss like this…"
The little boy kneeled on the bench, pressing a warm kiss to his guardian's cheek. He withdrew, and seeing Mana's warm expression, laughed quietly. "Is there a difference, Mana?"
"Yes, Allen. Families." Mana said suddenly, gazing out onto the river. "They usually have a mother, a father and children, don't they?"
"Mh-hm."
"Those parents love each other very differently from the way that we love each other, Allen-"
"Mana, why is it only ever just boys and girls?"
"Pardon, Allen?"
"I mean, um, is it just normal to have a boy and a girl together? Do people not think it's right if two girls or two boys had a family?"
Almost surprised by such a question coming from a six-year-old, Mana shook his head. "There is nothing wrong at all with that. It's just more common to have a man and a woman together, because that is the preference most people have. Also, they are the only ones who can have children."
"Oh, I forgot about that. Wait, then can't two girls have children? Girls are the ones that get fat when they want a baby."
Mana, sensing that it wasn't altogether wise to give a six-year-old the talk, even if the child was smart, paused for a while.
"You need a man and a woman. They are the ingredients for a child. Hot chocolate, Allen. What do you need to make it?"
"Milk and chocolate powder!" Allen replied enthusiastically, pleased at knowing the answer.
"Yes. Now imagine trying to make it with only milk or only chocolate powder. It wouldn't work, would it?"
"No…"
"There, you see?"
"So, wait. People who don't love each other in the way that we do have to make a family and get children?"
"That is one of the reasons they may love each other, yes, but it's not always like that. Some just want to be near each other because they feel safe and love that person with everything they have."
"Then what about two boys and two girls?"
"They would love each other in exactly the same way as a man and woman couple, only that they couldn't have children."
"So then it really doesn't matter who you love."
"Not at all, Allen."
"That's nice!"
"Yes, it is."
Silence once again fell over the pair on the bench. Allen continued to lazily throw crumbs onto the grass, watching the birds devour every last one, all the time deep in thought.
I still don't understand one thing, though. If I could love anyone you wanted, why do I never see two boys or two girls kiss? Do most people just like people who aren't like them or are they…
… scared?
…
Because some people are scared of doing things that others don't, and I don't see people…
… people k… ki…
Kiss…
I should have known. They were all right. There aren't other people like me. I'm just a freak. Maybe it's best, if…
"Yuu? Yuu? Are you… oh my goodness, Yuu!"
There are hands on my face, but they're not his.
They're hers. They're nice and warm, soothing on my skin, but they're not the hands I want to feel. I…
"Yuu. Yuu, don't push me away. Come on, let me hug you…"
There are arms around my waist, but they're not his.
They're hers. They're nice and strong, safe around my body, but they're not the arms I want to feel. I…
"Kachan. I made a big mistake."
I made a mistake…
"You know Alma is moving away today."
"I know you're upset about that, but Yuu… things can't always stay the same-"
"I wanted to say goodbye. I messed everything up. He hates me now. I know he hates me."
Cerulean eyes widened, meeting their twin pair in a moment of shock. "Honey, what on earth are you talking about-"
"I kissed him."
Another wave of shock. "You…?"
He was poker-faced, but his voice was a choked one. "I kissed him because I thought it was right, because I thought he would like a goodbye present. He ran away and glared at me."
"Yuu…"
"He told me I was a freak."
A freak.
"Oh my g-…"
It's funny how one act can turn the tables in a single second.
"He's right, Kachan. It's not normal that-"
"It's perfectly fine."
Fine…?
"K-Kachan…?"
"You're normal. There's nothing wrong with you at all, Yuu."
How can she lie so easily! I don't want her to lie to make me happy! I hate that!
"But dammit, I-!"
"Don't swear! Listen to me, Yuu. Not all people are like you, and Alma obviously wasn't, but you're still perfectly fine-"
She doesn't understand. She never will.
"Boys aren't meant to like other boys like that."
Please understand!
"They can if they want to."
Stop lying!
"Then why do other people-"
"They're idiots."
"Uh." Kanda paused, surprised by his mother's use of such a word. However, the woman wasn't finished yet.
"They're just intolerant and stupid. Yuu, I don't want you to change who you are for others, you hear me?"
"I-"
"We both know what you are, honey. There is nothing. Wrong. With. It. Whatsoever."
Kanda bit his lip and pressed his eyes shut, allowing his shoulder-length hair to fall over his pale face. He didn't want to hear this, or accept it, but there was no other choice now. "I want to be alone, Kachan." He said, revealing nothing else.
"Ok, honey." His mother answered, pushing her son's hair behind his ears to reveal his eyes. "Just give yourself time."
Then Kanda ran upstairs.
And didn't come down for the whole rest of the day.
The truth hurts like a bitch. Still does, always has.
"The person you have called is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep, or press 1 to restart the recording!"
Beep!
"Yuu! Wakeys! This is an exclusive Lavi's-extremely-irritating wake-up call with a 100% piss-off rate! So Yuu, be sure to look after the m-"
Whack!
Kanda turned on his bed, pleased to have finally shut that damn phone up. It should be illegal for the baka usagi to make calls before seven in the morning because damn, they were fucking irritating.
The sunlight was as strong as yesterday, heating Kanda's room to a very uncomfortable level.
What the hell… or why the hell… did I dream about that? Fucking hell, the rabbit and his fucking gay accusations about the moyashi must be getting to me.
Hold on. The moyashi…?
Then, suddenly, last night's occurrences hit the Japanese teen like a ton of bricks, sending Kanda leaping out of his bed. Somewhere in his house there was-
And oh my fucking Lord, it wasn't seven, it was two-fucking thirty-
Who the hell had stopped his alarm-
And who the fuck was talking downstairs, and what the fuck were they-
…
"I can explain, Ms! I promise, this isn't what it looks like!"
…
Fuck.
Yeah, random ending is random. The next chapter is the one I'm proud of; this one is SUCH A MESS, I think. Also, I couldn't resist the 'I most certainly have not!' thing. It's true, y'know. Whenever I or one of my friends say it, the trashy London accent goes and we're back to old British.
Feezles is still involved with this story, and feeding me her crazy little ideas; she is in no way gone! Again, gotta thank that girl.
I'll sure do my best not to get something as important as my hands hurt so easily again. As for what happened; to make a long story short, it involved a sharp metal fence that made lots and lots of lovely red scars on my hand after slicing my skin in numerous places. It's useable but looks like shite.
Thanks for your patience. You're all fantastic. By the way, is there anything I can do for you lot once I reach 100 reviews? Like, a oneshot or something? Please tell me if yes! :D
~Zaskaea
P.S: The overhead projector thing really happened to me. I had no idea, lol.
P.P.S So did the angry goose thing. It was really, really scary at the time. I only wanted to see the damn chicks, woman! DX