Well guys Merry Christmas everyone, okay it's actually December 26 in here but I bet most of the readers are in the western hemisphere anyway. Here's a Christmas Special for you parodying one of the most loved Christmas story.

Thanks to people who like this story and stayed reading.

This may have spoilers for Call of Duty

I do not own Call of Duty; I'm not even trying anymore.

Call of Duty Deleted Scenes and Bloopers: Christmas Special

"Gather around everyone!" A man wearing a Santa outfit said.

"Uncle Bobby! Are you gonna tell us a story?" Mason said excitedly dragging Woods with him.

"Why do I have to listen to this bullsh-OW!" Woods said before getting slapped by Bobby.

"Watch your mouth, bitch!" Bobby lectured. "Now, this story will be about Mason as he is in deep pain over the loss of many lives in the war."

"So many people died, all because of me…" Mason said to himself. "Maybe it might be better if I never existed…"

Suddenly a big light- nah too cliché a ball of crap came out and formed a man with black hair in the style of the military wearing glasses.

"Sup, Mason?" The man said.

"Who the hell are you?" Mason said alarmed and readied his pistol.

"I'm here to show you how awesome people's lives were when you never existed."

"Don't you mean how horrible people's lives were?"

"Nope, now come on." With a snap of his fingers, Mason and the man disappeared in a flash of garbage.

"Where are we?" Mason asked.

"Where Bowman lives in." The man said pointing to Bowman, now standing in front of the president whose face is hidden.

"Bowman, as the greatest American war hero, I give you the medal of even bigger honor to go with your huge collection of medals of honor." The president said.

"He… Is a great war hero if I did not exist?" Mason exclaimed.

"Yup, he never died in the Vietnam war because he wasn't sent with you and he defeated the Vietcong all by himself… With a butter knife. The US won the Vietnam war because of him and all him." The man explained.

"W-Well what about Hudson? I'm pretty I'm the one that made him famous among the FBI because he got me to save the US with the numbers!"

"Take a step to the right." Mason complied and saw the face of the president.

"Hudson?"

"The president of the most powerful country in the world. In fact, experts predict that the US will always be the most powerful country forever." The man explained. "And, they successfully brought Democracy to the world, like Korea."

"You mean North Korea?"

"More like the 'used to be North Korea', its now just Korea."

"Well fuck, what about Weaver?"

"Lets go…" The man snapped his hands and they both disappeared in a pool of vomit.

"Now where are we?" Mason said looking around to find every house is celebrating.

"Happy Weaver appreciation day."

"Say what now?"

"Weaver's both a hero and a president of Russia."

"But, what happened to Stalin."

"He beat him for the seat of leader in a lightsaber fight, are you convinced that you're the reason why the world is messed up now?"

"No, wait, what about Woods?"

"All right then, let's go disappear in a portal of sh-"The man did not finish before the two disappeared.

"Now where are we?"

"Look at the statue there..."

Mason looked and saw a statue of Woods wearing a robe and carrying a book.

"What the hell is that?" Mason demanded.

"St. Woods patron saint of people who don't curse." The man answered.

"Are you telling me that Woods curse all because of me and he's a Catholic?"

"Yes, you really did nothing but crap to everyone."

"But... What about Reznov? I'm the reason why he got out of Vorkuta!"

"I'm not gonna make another portal joke, lets go..."

"So, where are we no-?"

"Reznov! Reznov! Reznov!" A cry of celebration rang out in the outside of the Kremlin.

"Meet, Reznov, the hero of Stalingrad." The man said.

"Thank you, thank you!" Reznov said. "But the true hero here is really Dimitri! Without him, we would never win against the evil fascist government of Germany!"

A man came walking out, dressed in golden silk, it was Dimitri.

"Wait, what the fuck? Are you telling me that I even make people's lives miserable even if I didn't even meet them at the time?" Mason yelled at the man.

"Yup, you should see how Soap became a pop star that everyone loves, and then he changed his name to Mr. S." The man said back.

"Who the hell is Soap and what kind of name is Soap?!"

"Calm down…"

"How can I calm down whe-?"

"I made it all up."

"…What?"

"Haven't you noticed by now? I'm the author of this fanfiction." The man said with a smile on his face.

"Oh thank God!"

"Yup, now let's see what happens if you really didn't exist."

A portal opened next to the man and he went in first but came back out when Mason began following him.

"What's wrong?"

"I think it would be better if you really didn't exist." The author said taking out his hidden blade.

"Ho ho ho! Now wasn't that a great story?" Bobby said.

"What's the moral of it?" Hudson asked.

"It means that Mason was never a good guy, now get to bed Mason."

"But its just 5 in afterno-"

"Get to bed you fuckin' Mary Sue!"

Well that's done, I hope you guys don't take this too seriously; I don't want a bunch of politic crazy people or Mason crazy people yelling at me in the reviews.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Oh and I'm right, the Fire Emblem thing didn't work out. I'm sticking with the deleted scenes and bloopers from now on and since I think since I just finished playing Assassin's Creed one and me and my friends have already made a few jokes on it, I'll see if I can make an Assassin's Creed bloopers and deleted scenes too.