Alexander & Jane: Interlude – Chapter 10

Five weeks.

Yes. She was counting. How could she not?

It had been five weeks since the last time she had sex with Castle, four weeks since his ultimatum, and two weeks since they kissed for the first time in months. The long summer was over, and things still hadn't righted themselves. She needed to fix that.

Two weeks ago, she'd discovered the best ally she had in that fight. Communication. Actually sitting down and talking about things had lifted a lot of the load off her shoulders, but it was also something that she… that they were terrible with. It had taken a lot of courage for her to follow Castle into his study after dinner, knowing they'd be alone, and finally talk with him while the kids watched their movie. It had taken even more courage to admit out loud that she'd missed him, and contrary to her recent actions, she did care for him and wanted it to work between them… not just in the short term, but also for the long haul.

It had been something they'd never really had the time to discuss. They had just rekindled the romantic side of their relationship, and both were keen on staying in that bubble for as long as possible. Unfortunately it had burst far sooner than Kate would have liked. She was still struggling over what he'd done, but she believed she was moving past it. Kate felt certain that she was capable of forgiving him. He'd come so close to apologizing that night they'd kissed… so close. But he hadn't actually said it. She knew he was, but she needed to hear it.

Her biggest surprise from that night had been when Castle confessed his long term hopes and dreams for them. Kate knew it was silly. She should have known. Yet she hadn't. She'd been completely oblivious to just how deep his feelings for her ran. It should have been obvious when he'd given in to her 'friends-with-benefits' arrangement. Castle loved her so much that he would take whatever she'd give him. So she didn't begrudge him for caving in to her 'sex only' demand. If the roles had been reversed, she'd probably have done the same.

While her personal life has been chaotic, her work had been more stable. It became clear very early on that the boys missed having Castle around. Even Montgomery seemed to take notice of Castle's absence, stating that the precinct just wasn't the same without everyone's favorite tag-along writer. None of the team asked why Castle had ceased coming into the precinct, which Kate was eternal grateful for. She just couldn't stomach the embarrassment of explaining things without really giving too much away. Kate preferred to keep her professional and personal life separate.

Cases had been pretty light, and there had only been one case that had her thinking of Castle. It had been a weird one, involving an out of work clown—in full getup, no less—and a menagerie of exotic animals. She had spent hours just staring at the murder board, knowing that one of his crazy stories would have been a big help. She missed building theory with him. But the thought had been fleeting, and Kate managed to push him out of her mind, focusing on catching the killer and bringing closure to the victim's family.

It was what she did.

It was what she'd always done.

XXX

Kate walked up the stairs of her apartment building, shifting her bag on her shoulder as she reached the fourth floor landing. The elevator had been out of order for the entire week and it was beginning to get on her nerves. She was fit and in good shape, so it wasn't really a challenge, it was just annoying to have to trudge up the stairs after a long day of running down suspects when all she wanted to do was plop down on the couch and relax. Her feet were killing her. Then again, it probably didn't help that she wore high heels to work. Not for the first time, she wondered what the hell she was doing wearing heels to work. High heels weren't really the ideal footwear for her chosen profession.

Yet despite all that, a smile still ghosted across her lips as she recalled the first time Castle noticed her chasing after a suspect in those killer heels. Yeah. Just the stunned and slightly aroused look on his face alone was worth the pain of sore feet.

"Seriously? How can you do that?" he'd gasped, eyes wide in awe and a little bit of lust.

"Just one of my many superpowers, Castle," she'd replied with a wink, already loving the banter, even back then.

"Really?" Castle had been intrigued. He had raised an eyebrow and cocked his head as he gazed at her. "Any other superpowers I should be aware of? Besides the ones I already know about." He had added a suggestive wiggle to his eyebrows, letting Kate know he was referring to the bedroom acrobatics they'd done all those years ago in her off-campus housing, when she was Jane and he was Alexander.

She remembered blushing at the comment; the heated flush of arousal coursing through her veins as she vividly recalled those 'bedroom acrobatics'. She had to admit, she had been surprised at how he could still effect her after so long apart. Even when she was angry and/or frustrated with him for being an annoying pest, Kate still had trouble resisting the natural magnetic pull between them. It was a wonder she lasted as long as she did before succumbing to her desires and practically jumping him in the precinct elevator. Of course, Will Sorenson had to go and ruin that moment by misinterpreting what was going on, not to mention his petty jealousy over the fact that Castle was Alex's biological father.

Kate shook her head, breaking out of her internal thoughts as she slid the key into the lock and opened the door, stepping into her apartment. She closed the door and bolted the lock before removing her overcoat and hanging it on the coatrack. She tossed her keys into the bowl located on the credenza, and marched down the hall, bypassing the living room and kitchen to deposit her gun and badge in the strongbox in her room.

After changing out of her work clothes and into something more comfortable, Kate emerged from her room and sauntered back down the hall to the kitchen, catching sight of her father by the sink cleaning up the dishes. He looked up, startled by her presence.

"Katie… you're home!" Jim gasped, raising a hand to his chest.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," she said as she placed a kiss on his cheek, moving around him to pull a wineglass down from the cupboard.

Jim inclined his head as he turned back to the sink. "I didn't think you'd be in until much later," he informed her. "If I'd known you were getting off early, I would have made more spaghetti."

Kate frowned, popping the cork on a bottle of Merlot. "I forgot it was spaghetti night," she said, slightly disappointed. Spaghetti night had always been one of her favorites, especially when she was little and her mother would sit her up on the counter and explain each step of the cooking process. Jim had restarted the tradition after Alex had been born, doing his very best to make Johanna Beckett's special spaghetti sauce from scratch. It was a Beckett family tradition, one that was continuing alive and strong with the addition of the Castle clan.

"I could easily whip you up a small batch of sauce and boil some pasta," Jim offered, glancing across at his daughter as she poured herself a glass of wine.

"No, that's okay," Kate replied, already opening the refrigerator to glance at the leftovers. "I'll just reheat something."

"You sure?" Jim questioned. "It's no trouble."
"Yeah," she glanced up with an appreciative smile. "I'm fine with leftovers. Besides, if I don't eat them, no one will."

"Suit yourself," Jim quipped back, grinning at his daughter as he turned back to his task of washing the dishes.

A comfortable silence descended between them as Kate selected some leftover lemon chicken from two nights ago, popping it in the microwave. She chopped up some lettuce and other greens to make a small salad, and then cut the chicken up, sprinkling the chunks over her salad before adding the dressing. After rummaging around one of the drawers for a fork, Kate leaned back against the counter and picked at her dinner.

"Alex already in bed?" she inquired, watching her father dry the dishes after cleaning them.

He tilted his head and gave a nod. "He has a math test tomorrow. Alexis came over after school to help him study."

Kate smiled softly as she nibbled on a piece of chicken. She was happy that sister and brother got along so well despite the age difference and separation. When the siblings met for the first time, Kate had been so nervous that they wouldn't get along. Alexis was a wonderful teenager and had turned out to be very accepting and kind about the entire situation, which had been completely different from what Kate had originally expected. And there was still a small part of her that wanted the teen to be mad at her for denying her the chance to grow up with her little brother, yet there was never any sign of animosity or anger from Alexis.

"Did she stay for dinner?" she asked, curious.

"Uh-huh," Jim inclined his head in the affirmative. "She's a great girl."

"Yes, she is," Kate replied, putting her half finished chicken salad down to take a sip of her wine. "Castle has done a fabulous job raising her."

Jim nodded in agreement, done with the dishes. He turned to her with a cautious expression. "After seeing her tonight, I was left wondering how I should refer to her," he said, his brow furrowing slightly. "I mean, I'm assuming that if things hadn't gone badly between you and Rick all those years ago, you two would probably have gotten married and you'd have probably signed some sort of adoption-like papers making Alexis yours as well, legally speaking."

Kate bit her bottom lip, and knitted her eyebrows together as she thought. In the end, she was forced to concede her father was correct in his hypothesis. If things had continued to progress between her and Castle without the misunderstandings and rushes to judgment, she'd probably be already married to him.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," she agreed, taking a long gulp of her wine before proceeding. "About a lot of things."

"So… do you think it's okay if I start referring to Alexis as my granddaughter?" Jim asked, raising his eyebrows in question. She couldn't help but not notice the hopeful expression flashing across his features.

"I… um…," Kate fumbled for an answer. She placed her glass down and rubbed her arms as she hugged herself while she thought. "I don't know, Dad. Honest. Castle and I aren't exactly together right now. And I just…"

Jim cut her off with a stern fatherly glare. "Don't think you can get away with that, Katie, especially with me," he warned, crossing his arms over his chest in the way he did when, during her teenage years, she'd gotten caught sneaking back inside the house at some ungodly hour. "I'm your father. I know you better than that."

"Fine," she sighed, and raked her fingers through her hair as she let out a frustrated breath. "We're together… just not together together, if that makes any sense."

"And are you going to fix that?" Jim asked, resting his hip against the kitchen counter as his eyes bore into her.

"It's complicated, Dad," she tried to explain. "But, I'm trying to." She flashed him a small smile. "Things have… gotten better. We… um… we finally managed to talk about some things after the family dinner."

"Really? When was that?"

"Two weeks ago," she informed him.

"Oh," he bobbed his head. "So you talked. Good. And?"

"Why does there always have to be an 'and'?" Kate groused.

"Because there always is an 'and' with you two."

She grumbled and averted her eyes, attempting to buy herself a little bit of time before responding. "Fine! And… we kissed," Kate disclosed. With the memory of that kiss resurfacing in her mind, she couldn't stop the happy smile from breaking across her face.

Jim frowned, confused. "I don't understand? Not that I'm saying I want to know all the little details of what you two do alone together, but we both know that I know you've been doing a lot more than just kissing this summer." He paused for a beat, before adding with a disapproving stare, "What with all those weekly rendezvous in hotel rooms."

Kate groaned, flushing pink with embarrassment. She thought they'd already covered this before. "Dad… please, trust me, this is not a conversation you want to have… again. I mean, didn't we already have this conversation… like a month ago?"

"Sort of," he conceded. "But you're good at avoiding."

She gave a noncommittal shrug. "So?"

He let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, Katie, you need to talk about things. You're very good at keeping things bottled up inside. And that's not healthy."

She let out a disbelieving scoff. "I just said that Castle and I talked. What more do you want?" Kate demanded, scowling.

"I know, sweetheart, and I'm immensely proud of you for doing that," Jim said.

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

"But there are obviously things you need to talk about that you can't talk about with Rick," Jim elaborated. "And if you won't talk to me, talk to someone else. Like Lanie. You'd probably be more comfortable talking about certain aspects of what is going on with her."

"She has tried, yes," Kate admitted. "But… I just can't." She shook her head. "This… it's too personal."

"But she's your best friend," Jim pointed out. "I know you were able to talk things out with her when Will left for Boston."

"That… that was different," Kate raised a hand to deflect the topic of her ex-boyfriend, turning around to hide her face from her dad.

"How so?"

Her shoulders slumped with defeat. "I didn't love him."

"Oh," Jim gave a nod, understanding. "But you love Rick."

"Yes," she tilted her head to look at her dad, resting her hands on the counter. "And even though Lanie's always been there for me during times like this, I just can't talk with her about what's going on with Castle. I… I just want to keep it private."

"Why?"

She shrugged, uncertain. "I don't know."

"Katie…," there was a familiar warning edge to his voice.

"Because… even though we're extremely close, she's still an outsider. And it… it's… this is a family matter."

"So you're admitting that the Castles are family?" Jim asked as he raised an eyebrow at her in challenge, finally getting around to his original question and daring her to deny it.

Kate furrowed her brow and chewed on her lower lip as she at last contemplated the question that had started this whole conversation. "Yes," she answered, decisive. "Yes, they are." She reached for a wine glass and took a delicate sip. "Yes. Alexis is your granddaughter. Not by law or blood, but by heart. And you should call her that." She smiled and took another sip of her wine, gaining courage. "We're all a family. Granted, a hugely dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless."

"I'm glad," Jim smiled, stepping over to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, giving her a half hug and a fatherly kiss on the top of her head. "So, now that we got that settled and out of the way, what do you think you're going to do about Rick?"

"Open back up to him," she answered at length. "Let him in… slowly. We both agreed that we needed to learn to trust again, so that's what we are going to do."

"There's something else," Jim narrowed his eyes.

Kate sighed and relented with a nod. "I'm still waiting for an actual apology," she admitted. "I mean... I know he's sorry. I know that. But he hasn't actually said that. And… I think once he can work around to actually verbalize that, then I'll be ready to forgive and move our relationship forward on the right path."

"Want me to knock some sense into him?" Jim asked, dead serious.

"No," she snorted out a light laugh. "This is something I want him to do himself. But thanks."

"It's what fathers do," Jim quipped back and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, before bidding her a goodnight and leaving her to finish her half eaten dinner.

XXX

"Mom, is that you?" came a small voice, sleep-heavy.

"Yes, sweetie, it's me," Kate murmured, pushing the door a little wider open and tiptoeing across his room until she could perch herself on the edge of his bed. The mattress dipped slightly as she sat down. He turned onto his back and blinked in the darkness, gazing up at her in confusion.

"Is everything okay?" Alex asked, the worry evident in his tone.

"Yes, everything is fine," assured Kate as she lightly ran her fingers through his messy brown hair, brushing it back from his forehead. He closed his eyes and sighed, easing into his mother's touch. "I just wanted to check in on you before I went to bed."

"I'm not five, Mom," he groused, but the tiny smirk on his lips belied his whine.

Kate smiled. "I hear Alexis came by tonight to help you study for your math test."

Alex bobbed his head tiredly. "Yeah… she's a whiz with numbers." He paused, and licked his lips. "If I get an A, can we go to a movie this weekend?"

She thought about it for second, and then inclined her head. "Yeah, we can."

"Awesome! Alexis and Dad, too?"

"Of course," she replied. "It'll be the whole family."

He smiled sleepily and curled against her, sighing in contentment as she scraped her fingernails against his scalp, like she had when he was little. Kate pursed her lips and continued to gently rub small little patterns in her son's hair as he began to drift back off to sleep. Just as she was about to get up and leave, he stirred and reached for her.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Alex?"

"Are you and Dad getting back together?" he asked, the longing in his voice hard not to miss.

Kate stilled and looked down at her son, taking in the features that we're uniquely Castle in origin. His eyes were the same shade of blue as Castle's were, and held that same mischievous spark and thirst for knowledge. She'd be the last to admit it, but Alex had always favored Castle in appearance, even when he was just a baby. Her brow furrowed as she gazed at him, suddenly noticing that as Alex grew, he was beginning to look more and more like his father. Soon, he'd probably be the spitting image of a teenage Rick Castle. She was left a little breathless by the realization.

"Mom?" he prompted, moving to prop himself up on his elbows.

She gave a small shake of her head, clearing her thoughts and returning her focus back to her son. "Um… why do you ask?" she inquired hesitantly, knitting her eyebrows together.

Alex shifted against his pillows. "I saw you guys sucking face," he said with that trademark Castle humor. "Looked pretty serious to me."

Kate's lips quirked up in a half-grin as she shook her head in amusement. "You are definitely your father's son."

"And… is that a good thing?" Alex hedged, wary.

Kate smiled down at him. "It is, yes." She smoothed her hand over his chest and gently nudged him back down. "Now, get your sleep. I'll make a special breakfast for you tomorrow."

"Banana Blueberry Chocolate Waffles?" he asked hopefully.

"What else would I make?" she laughed softly, and then leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Night, sweetie. I love you."

"Kay… night, Mom," Alex replied drowsily, turning onto his side and nuzzling into his pillow, already fast asleep.

Kate rubbed his back affectionately, before standing up and pulling the blanket up to drape over his shoulders. She crossed her arms and stared down at him, watching his tiny chest rise and fall as he slept blissfully unaware of the tumultuous relationship drama going on between his parents. She bit her lower lip as she thought about his question. For the first time since that fateful night where she barged into a book launch party to drag a bestselling mystery novelist in for questioning, Kate Beckett knew what she wanted the answer to be.

And she could only hope that Castle was on the same page.