~~Authors Note~~

Just want to apologize before hand. This chapter contains a lot of dialog. I just felt that there needed to be a lot of talking in this chapter to get the story moving in the direction it will be heading.

Chapter 9

~~~Tris~~~

Tobias held me by the piano. His arms wrapped around my waist and my head tucked into his shoulder. I want to stand like this forever but I know we can't.

"I have a lot to do today, Tobias. I have to get my stuff from Christina and my apartment. Well, Christina's apartment. I'd like to get some food in this place and I need to go down and see the list of available jobs. I also need to go to the infirmary and get my injection scheduled."

I have no idea which job I will pick. Tobias wants me to train initiates with him. I know I want to do that but that takes 3 months out of the year. Ranking 1st in my initiation class I have first pick of jobs so I can do whatever I want to do. Now I just have to figure out what I want to do.

"Injection?" Tobias questioned. "What injection?"

"The injection all female injections get. You were my instructor. How do you not know about that?" I asked.

"Everyone gets injections but I didn't know they continued." He said.

"Yes, everyone does get injections but females get two. They said the first one, the one everyone gets, was to keep us in good health. The second one, the ones only the females get, is contraceptive. Pregnant initiates can't continue and it wouldn't be right to just send a pregnant woman out to be factionless. They strongly encourage us to take the injection even after initiation otherwise we wouldn't be able to continue to work. I'm definitely not ready to be a mom so I'm going to continue it. I have to get it in two weeks." I explained.

"How can I be so fucking stupid and careless?" Tobias said while running his hand through his hair. "I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't even think to protect us."

"Hey, I didn't think of it either. Luckily I had the injection and we are ok. But would having kids together really be that bad." I poke him.

"I never really thought of myself as a father. I mean I know someday I will get married and have a family but it was never really at the forefront of my mind. But no, having kids with you wouldn't be so bad." He jokes back.

After our showers we both head to Christina's apartment. Tobias wouldn't let me carry my stuff by myself. I told him I don't have much. I just have some clothes and personal items. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I sat at home with a beer while my girl did all the manual labor?" he grins. "Not a very good one I suppose." I grin back.

Standing in front of Christina's door I find myself wondering if I should knock or if I should just open the door. It is still my place for now but I don't remember if I told her that Tobias and I moved in together. I decided to give a quick knock and slowly open the door and peak in. Shocked at what I saw I flung the door open.

"Christina!" I nearly shout. Christina jerks her head to look at me with absolute terror on her face.

"Oh, Zeke, no man!" Tobias says almost as if he was either disappointed or defeated.

Christina and Zeke were standing in the center of the living room embracing each other and kissing.

"Shit, I gotta get out of here." Zeke says. He walks past Tobias with his head down. He only momentarily glances up while passing him and putting his head back down. Once the door is closed I shout at Tobias while pointing to the door. "How could he do that to Shauna?" Spinning to face Christina, "How could you do that to Will?"

"Look Tris, you don't understand. Please sit down and let me explain this." She says.

"Christina…" I exhale. I know I over reacted. "Honestly, you don't owe me an explanation. It really is none of my business. I'm sorry for my reaction." I tell her.

"Tris, I'm going to catch up with Zeke. Leave those bags here. I will be back to get them later." Tobias tells me. "Seriously, Tris, don't touch them."

"Ok, I love you." He tells me he loves me too and quickly kisses me before rushing out of the door.

Christina ushers me to the couch and brings me a glass of ice tea. "Tris, in one moment my world crashed down around me and Zeke was there to pull me back up. I have always been attracted to him. I mean, he is so hot…." She tries to explain.

"Christina, that doesn't explain anything. Like I said you don't owe me an explanation. You are my very best friend. We have talked about stuff that I never thought I would ever talk about with anyone. I will love and support you no matter what happened. After all, we did share cupcakes." With that we both laugh and share a hug. "If you feel you need to explain or just get it off your chest, hun, I'm here! I will always be here, you know that!"

"Oh god, Tris. I don't know where to start." She says. "How about at the beginning." I tell her.

"Well…after Four sang you the song he wrote for you, which was so beautiful and romantic. I didn't know he had it in him!" I motion for her to continue with the story. "Anyways, when he sang you that song…I saw love. It hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I don't love Will. I realized our relationship was based on sex. It helped us both get through training. We needed each other for that time and when it was over…I just knew when I saw you two that I was just forcing myself to believe something that wasn't true." Christina chokes out the last sentence with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What happened next, I mean how did Zeke get involved in all of this?" By this time I was really curious.

"After I told Will how I felt he stormed out of here pretty pissed off. He told me he was starting to feel the same but he still left so angry. I moped around this place for a while but decided to take off after him just to make sure he was ok. I wasn't ok so I know he wasn't ok. When I found Will…uuuuh. Zeke was pulling him off of Shauna in the pit and punched him right in the face. I was so angry that he could seem so angry with me and then turn around and shove his tongue down someone else's throat."

All I could do is just shake my head and stare at Christina.

"Zeke saw me standing there with my fists balled up. He knew, since I just became a new Dauntless member, if I did anything to start trouble I would be put on warning. He grabbed my arm and made me come back home. I didn't want to be alone and I didn't want to interrupt you and Four. I asked him to stay a while until I could calm down. Zeke and Shauna were initiates together too. That's how their relationship started. He felt the same about Shauna as I did about Will but they had been together so long that he still had deep feelings for her. When he saw what she was doing with Will he just flipped."

"I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that, Christina. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But how did it get from staying a few hours to kissing in the living room early in the morning?"

"It is kinda sweet actually." Christina said. "It is hard to see Zeke as sweet," I laugh, "I mean Four has told me some pretty wild stories about Zeke. They have been best friends since their initiation together." I said.

"Well, is Four always the big tough guy we knew in initiation?" She asked.

"No, but if you tell him I said that I will have to kill you!"

"Well, I was crying and he motioned for me to lay my head on his lap. He brushed the hair from my face and just kept his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently, until I fell asleep. When I woke up he was still sitting there with his hand on my shoulder sleeping. He looked so peaceful. He must have felt me turn over to look at him. When he opened his eyes…our eyes immediately met. We started talking." Christina starts laughing, "He told me he was always checking me out and loved how feisty I am." She laughs again. "I was always checking him out too but always tried to divert my attention. I was with Will after all. I just felt like I was living a lie. You know I still can't handle that. I may be more Dauntless than Candor but it was how I was raised. I gave him a hug before he left to thank him for staying with me. I pulled back to give him a smile of thanks and he just bent down and kissed me. Tris, I have never been kissed like that. Four is a great kisser but I know he was holding back. When we were leaving I saw that passion between you and Four. Will and I didn't have that. Zeke and I do."

"I am really happy for you Christina. I mean like I said I'm sorry you had to get to this point like that but I really hope you and Will and even Shauna find a way to mend your friendships." I say.

I can't imagine seeing Tobias kiss someone else behind my back. It would be a complete betrayal. I love him so much that the thought physically hurts. Once Christina realized she never asked me how my night turned out I was bombarded with a million questions. I told her as much as I could but I wanted to keep some of it for myself. It was something Tobias and I shared together and telling her everything seemed like it would somehow cheapen it. I did my fair share of blushing, of course. Christina hugged me and told me over and over…and over…how happy she was for me. Her smile is so contagious. You just can't be sad when Christina is around. Zeke is right about her, though, she is feisty.

I made my appointment for next week and got some groceries for the house. I plan on making sure I make at least one meal at home every day for Tobias. In Abnegation we ate every meal at home and I enjoyed serving my family. I want to take care of Tobias. He is my family now and I am his. I want to make him happy in any way I can. I find myself always thinking of what he would want or what he would like. When you have something as special as Tobias you just want to take care of it and cherish every moment of it.

I jumped when I heard the door open and two thuds by the door. I was off in my own little world thinking about Tobias and putting the groceries away. Tobias walked into the kitchen as I was putting cans in the cupboards. "Hey, babe!" I smile at him. There is a look on his face that I can't place. He walks straight up to me and grabs me by my shoulders and pulls me in for a long and unexpected kiss. "What was that for?" I leaned back and asked. "Can't I kiss my girl?" He asks. "Of course you can but that was…different!" And it was. It was needy and raw.

Tobias sits on the couch and puts his head in his hands. "Babe, something is wrong talk to me." I plea. "Everything is going to be ok." He says. "Ok, Tobias you are starting to scare me. Did something happen with Zeke?"

"No, Zeke will be fine. For the first time in his complicated life I could actually put myself in his situation." He says. "What do you mean you could see yourself in his situation!?"

"Not like that Tris. Someone else…you…." He says shaking his head with his eyes closed. "Tobias, I would never do that to you. I love you too much. I want to be with you and only you."

"I know, Tris, I just get jealous. I'll get over it." He is trying to brush this off as if it is nothing. Something else has to be going on.

"Tobias, you are a man of few words. I always wonder what you are thinking or feeling. You have kept so much in for so long that you gotta trust me and talk to me. You're not in this life alone anymore so don't shut me out!" I scold him. He better start talking!

"It's true I do get jealous. I do feel a need to protect you even though I know you can handle your own but I have never had so much to lose before…."

"Why are you hesitating, Tobias?" What isn't he telling me?

"I didn't stay long at Zeke and Uriah's place. We talked about what happened and of course I was hounded about us…" Tobias grins.

"Where did you go?" Now I am worried. I will get back to asking him what he told Zeke later but for now he is starting to freak me out.

"I never wanted to be a leader in Dauntless. I never wanted to come face to face with Marcus again. I wanted to leave my old life behind me and start a new life. Then I met you and my old life and new life collided."

"Did I do something wrong? Is being with me bringing back too much pain for you?"

"God, no, Tris. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. You're everything I ever wanted and everything I never knew I wanted. That's why I said I never had so much to lose. Max sent Harrison to find me. He called me into his office and told me about some stuff that is going on and asked me to reconsider leadership again. I wanted to say no. I wanted to because of my fears but I realized the fear of losing you trumps everything. I agreed to start leadership training Monday. I'm a leader of Dauntless." This is huge! Something big must be happening for Tobias to choose leadership. He loved working with the computers in the control room. For him to voluntarily choose to come face to face with Marcus again…I can't even think about it.

"Tobias, please tell me what is happening."

"Tris, I want to. Just, please, trust me…" he places his hand to the side of my face and I lean into it. "trust that I will tell you what you need to know, ok?" His eyes search mine. I don't know what to say to him.

"I trust you! With my life!" I assure him.

"I am going to know things, learn things, that you don't need to be burdened with."

"Just promise me that you won't let it consume you. You can talk to me. You can tell me anything. You know I will support whatever decision you think is right for us." That is, after all, the way I was raised in Abnegation. The man of the house does whatever is in the best interest of his family.

"Tris…I just don't even know what to say. I never thought of us as an Abnegation family. We are a team. But the fact that you would place me…you amaze me. Let me stress this point, Tris. I have a duty to Dauntless now. I am now a leader for everyone here and I have to do what is best for everyone. In our home we are a team. I am not better than you and your opinions and ideas have value to me. We are in this life together, got it?"

"Yeah, I got it. Like you said before…it is hard to turn that switch off."

"Tris, you will keep some Abnegation ideals just like I have but trust me, babe, you are Dauntless! You proved that at the party last night."

"Hey, maybe having another party soon would be good. Maybe it will help us both relax before you start your new job and I choose mine. I would probably do Zeke and Christina some good too."

"Yeah, you're probably right. It was a pretty good night." Tobias winks at me. "So have you thought about what job you might like?"

"I have a choice from anything from Leader to custodian. I have no idea what to choose. I have ruled out a lot though. I don't want to guard the fence. That seems pretty boring. I like the idea of being the girl of a leader so I don't want to be a leader. I thought about being a Dauntless Ambassador. I would be able to see my dad but then I would have to see yours and I don't think I can keep the peace that way. Maybe I could patrol the factionless sectors. It wouldn't be that different for me."

"I'd rather you not do that, Tris." Tobias says coldly.

"Why not?" Ok. Now he is being strange again.

"I just would rather you not." When Tobias is like this I know it is just best to let it go. I may be strong willed and can be pretty mouthy but the last thing I want to do is piss him off.

"It crossed my mind…naw…I will just think about it some more."

"No, what were you thinking of?"

"I thought about putting my art to good use and working with Tori in the tattoo parlor." It came out more like a question than a statement. I ranked 1st in my class and of all things I could do I want to be a tattoo artist. I just don't want to let anyone down.

"That's a great idea, Tris! You would be an amazing Ambassador but art is something you love to do. I support whichever you choose but I do hope you decide to be an instructor with me also. Max told me today I can still be an instructor and a leader and I will be training new instructors one evening a week until the next choosing ceremony."

I just don't think he is going to let that go. I wonder how long I can hold out until I tell him I already decided to be an instructor. I am so happy for Tobias and his new position as a leader. I never thought I would end up in Dauntless let alone sleeping in the same bed as their leader every night.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Well, compared to this morning. Tobias is working on a new song for Zeke's band. I could sit and watch him play that guitar for hours. Every so often he places his pick between his lips and writes something down in his notebook.

We ate dinner together at home. I bought a Dauntless cook book today and I really enjoyed making dinner for Tobias. He must have enjoyed it since he had seconds. We cleaned the dishes together side by side. We talked about everything. We talked about how he would touch me during initiation and try to play it off. He said he kept telling himself how stupid it was but confided his true feelings in Zeke. He told me he couldn't confide too much or Zeke would have pulled his man card. He makes me laugh so much. Sometimes I just sit and look at him and wonder how I got to be so lucky. Of all the girls in Dauntless…he chose me.

Our conversation turned back to initiation. I asked him if we were in the same class if he could have fought me like Peter had to. He told me he was a different person back then and couldn't even think about something like that. I told him he was a pansycake and I would have kicked his ass. He took that as a challenge and wrestled me to the ground. I put up a good fight though. In the end I realized I didn't want to win and let him pin me to the ground. He straddled me and held my wrists above my head. We laughed at each other while trying to catch our breath. Our eyes stayed connected. Seeing him over me sent chills all over my body. I resisted at first. Turning my head from side to side. Eventually I let him catch me and kiss me. So now I know. I call him Four, question his Dauntlessness, and challenge him. He needs to hold his cards closer to his chest.

This is our life. This is life with Tobias. I spent many nights in the dorms wondering how this mystery man lived.

Thank you all again for your continued support. Please like, follow, and leave me a comment. I will post Chapter 10 tomorrow when it is done. Love to you all!