RESIGNED PART 10

Sunday came rather too quickly for Ianto, the day before he had gone shopping and chosen an outfit for his niece that he hoped would be appropriate. He had no idea what an eight year old girl would like and had been totally reliant on the choices made by the shop assistant who helped him out. Feeling slightly unsure of his choices Ianto also added a handheld computer game that was pink in colour. Then he realised that perhaps his nephew might feel a bit left out so he bought him a computer game as well, but his was black. It was ridiculous to think about gender stereotypes but Ianto knew that David would never accept anything pink. It made him laugh to think about it. He also bought a leather jacket for his sister and a coat for his brother in law. Ianto realised that he was probably going over the top but he had little else to spend his money on as he rarely purchased things for himself. It made a nice change to be able to give some presents to his family. By Sunday morning he was a nervous wreck because it had been so long since he had visited his sister and her family, back then Lisa had still been alive and she had accompanied him on his last visit. He was not looking forward to the questions his sister would invariably ask of him.

That morning he dressed in jeans, T-shirt and hoodie. It was a rare thing for him to dress casually and he felt vulnerable in such attire. However, wearing a suit at his sister's house would only cause his brother-in-law to laugh at him and bemoan the fact that Ianto was considerably slimmer than him. Somehow jeans seemed more appropriate for the Cromwell estate. Ianto opted for booking a taxi because he didn't want to risk his car being stolen and he wasn't entirely certain about how much alcohol he was likely to drink. With shopping bags in hand he stood outside his house and waited for the cab to arrive. He shifted from one foot to the other and suddenly realised that he was desperate for a cigarette to calm him down. He felt less nervous about facing down a weevil in some dank, dark alleyway with nothing but his wits with which to defend himself.

The taxi arrived all too soon and Ianto got inside with a deep foreboding in his gut.

TWTWTWTW.

For once Owen was the first to arrive at the hub. Technically he wasn't on duty this weekend but with Ianto absent he had decided to put in a bit of extra time to cope with his filing. Owen had to admit to himself that it was a task he loathed simply because it was boring and it wasn't his job to do it. The medic really detested doing other people's work. Last night had been a major disappointment on the pulling front so he had returned home from clubbing earlier than anticipated and woken up far too early on this grotty Sunday morning. He was bored at home so with nothing better to do he had come in to do Ianto's job.

His first port of call was the kitchenette so that he could make himself a very strong coffee because his hangover was giving him some grief. To his utter dismay he discovered that the cupboards were almost empty and there was no coffee to be found of any description. He pulled out a box of teabags and stared in horror at the label stating green tea, it wasn't even normal tea, not P G tips or Tetleys, no just some weird stuff for healthy people. In disgust he stomped down to the autopsy bay and slumped himself behind his desk to begin his work. It only took him 10 minutes to lose interest in what he was doing so he decided to go and find Jack. Shoving his chair back he headed up to Jack's office only to discover that his boss was not there. Somehow Owen wasn't surprised Jack had been very out of sorts since the tea boy had decided to leave them. Owen fully understood that Ianto needed to get away from things Torchwood related. The young Welshman and practically lived at the hub during Jack's prolonged absence and he clearly needed a break. He half wondered if Ianto was even going to come back and when he had questioned Jack about it his boss had been very evasive. Owen wandered over to Tosh's workstation and checked over all of the rift data for the previous night but there was nothing of any significance or concern. He sighed deciding he would venture out to the supermarket to get some coffee and biscuits because he knew he would go loopy without them.

He was just locking up the tourist office when Jack approached him with loaded carrier bags in both hands. Jack held them up with a big smile on his face.

"I thought I'd better get in some supplies before I had to deal with industrial action."

Owen could only grin. "I could kiss you."

"Now there is a tempting idea. Owen I never thought I'd ever hear you say that."

Owen scowled at him.

They made their way back down into the hub and Jack deposited the bags on the ratty couch underneath the tiled Torchwood logo. Owen immediately dived in to see what Jack had bought and he was delighted to discover chocolate biscuits, instant coffee, teabags, milk, sugar and various packets of unhealthy snacks. He was certain that the girls would complain tomorrow, but he really didn't care that much.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today, why are you here?" Jack hung up his coat in his office as he spoke.

Owen was taking the shopping into the kitchen. "I had some admin I needed to catch up with. It's stuff that Ianto usually handles. When is he coming back Jack?"

Jack joined him in the kitchen and pulled two mugs from the cupboard above his head.

"It could be a while, when I saw him the other day he said he wasn't ready to come back yet. I think we should give him some time."

Owen had switched on the kettle and was opening up the jar of Kenco. "He has had a rough time, he took it very hard when you left. You know what he's like, he's very sensitive and I think sometimes we forget that. He was also a bit upset about Beth, I think she reminded him too much of what happened with Lisa and the fact that Beth was able to make the sacrifice that neither he or Lisa could make. I don't think he ever really recovered from all of that."

"He said to me that he needed to figure out who he was. I am prepared to let him take as long as he needs but in the meantime I will look into getting an administrative replacement so that Ianto doesn't have to deal with things like the filing any more. He told me that he felt as if he had been demoted recently."

"Yeah I get that, he came out in the field with us on a regular basis when you were away and now he's stuck in here, I suppose I would feel a bit demoted as well if that were me." Owen poured boiling water into the mugs and then added 4 teaspoons of sugar to his coffee.

Jack could only gape. "You feeling hypo-or something?"

"Hangover. I always need lots of sugar when I have a hangover."

"Right then since we are both here we may as well get on with the paperwork backlog. I do not want there to be a massive pile of it when the Ianto gets back."

"Don't you mean if Ianto comes back?"

Jack didn't grace him with a reply as he headed back to his office and closed the door behind him.

TWTWTWTW.

Ianto was dragged in through the front door and pulled in to a stifling hug by his shorter sister. Because his hands were full of bags his returning embrace was somewhat awkward. Rhiannon stepped back and took a moment to survey her younger brother, looking him over with a critical and somewhat concerned eye.

"Come on in and sit down and I'll go and put the kettle on and we can have a nice cup of tea and you're going to tell me why I haven't seen you for almost 18 months." Ianto felt himself sink just a little but he obediently followed his older sister and plonked himself down onto her squashy couch after dumping his bags by the lounge door. He took a moment to gaze around the too small lounge and noticed that there were many cardboard boxes and bags jammed up under the dining table in the open plan kitchen. Rhi was obviously working from home again in order to make ends meet. It saddened Ianto to think his family were struggling but often in the past his sister had turned down his offers of financial support. Rhiannon was proud and stubborn and Ianto took a moment to reflect on how similar they actually were no matter how different they looked. Ianto had inherited his mother's blue eyes and slightly turned up nose whereas Rhiannon was very much her father's daughter right down to her slightly dumpy frame and soft brown eyes. Ianto found himself wishing he could remember his mother more clearly he had been so young when she had passed away and he had no real recollection of what she was like beyond emotional impressions that he clung to from his childhood memories.

Rhiannon bustled back into the room and passed him a mug of coffee, Ianto knew it was instant and had to consciously tighten his resolve in order to take a sip, he realised that he was a snob and he smiled at her after swallowing down his first mouth full.

"Thanks sis, I really needed that. So, how are you?"

"I'm alright actually, we all are. I've just been really worried about you. You haven't visited and you have been steadfastly avoiding talking to me every time I have managed to get you on the phone. So you tell me how are you and what have you been up to?" She got herself comfy on the couch next to him her mug of coffee cradled in both her hands.

Ianto shifted uncomfortably for a moment his gaze settling on the carpet between his feet. "I'm alright. I'm sorry, I know it's been a long time, but a lot has happened and it has taken me a long time to sort myself out."

"So how's Lisa? Don't tell me you split up?"

Ianto met her enquiring gaze with a hollow look and let out a huge sigh it took him a moment to realise that his eyes had started to water with tears. He cursed himself silently hating the emotional display.

"Lisa died. It was almost 17 months ago. You remember the terrorist attack at Canary Wharf?"

Rhiannon nodded, her eyes widening. "She was there?"

Ianto chewed at his lower lip. "We both were, I managed to pull her out from the rubble, but she died a while later from her injuries." It was as close to the truth as he dared go. "We both worked there. Afterwards I came back to Cardiff and I have been working there ever since. It's a different branch of the same government department I was working with before. My new boss has been helping me. I'm sorry, I just, I just didn't know how to handle it which is why I have been avoiding you."

Rhiannon just stared at him in shock, uncertain as to whether to be hurt or upset. "Ianto, you should have called. I would have been there for you, we all would have been. It must have been terrible for you I am so sorry. I wish you had told me so I could have helped."

Ianto sniffed and wiped water from his face with his sleeve. "I know, I am sorry. You know what I'm like, I've never been very good at talking about my feelings and really I think I have just been avoiding them as much as I have been avoiding the only family I have left. It was just so hard coping with Lisa's absence and I did not want to be reminded of what I have lost seeing you with your own family, your future, here in this house. And now I listen to myself saying that and I realise how selfish I have been. I guess I am more like tad than I would like to think I am." He took a gulp of coffee.

Rhiannon reached out to her hand and patted his leg. "Well you're here now. Why don't you tell me about the job you were doing, where you are living, anything. I just want to get to know my little brother again I just want you to know that I am here for you and you can tell me anything. I promised mam I would look after you but you make it very difficult sometimes."

Ianto shrugged. "My job is the same, and I can't tell you because I signed the official secrets act. But I've got a house in Penarth and I have a flatmate called Emma who is a medical student and has a boyfriend in Swansea. To be honest she has been really good company lately. Work is the same as ever long and weird hours and rather boring, but the money is really good and with a bit of luck I will be able to retire early."

"That's all well and good but it isn't much use if you are unhappy and you look bloody miserable if you don't mind my saying so."

Ianto forced a smile. "Yeah, I am kind of rethinking my strategy at the moment. I have had another job offer and I am seriously thinking about taking it, the only trouble is it would mean moving to the USA and I am not certain that I am ready to do that."

"So have you been seeing anyone else since Lisa passed away?" Rhiannon was keen to know everything.

"No, well not really. I did see someone for a while but then we took a long break and now that person is back and I don't know how I feel about what to do about it. It's complicated because we work together."

"Do you love this person?"

Ianto gazed into his sister's large, dark eyes seeing only kindness and concern there. "Yes I am afraid that I do. I feel guilty about it because I fell so hard and so far and so soon after Lisa. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't help it and I wondered if it was all for the wrong reasons."

Rhiannon smiled softly at him. "You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Look at me and what I ended up with. I know Johnny is no Brad Pitt, but I wouldn't change him for the world, I know I am meant to be with him warts and all."

"He's a good man Rhiannon, I wasn't the best brother in law to him and for that I am sorry. He makes you happy and in the end that is all that matters. I could have all the money in the world and I would still be miserable. Sometimes all I want is to have Lisa back and I know that I will never settle down and get married now that she is gone." He finished the mug of coffee and placed it down on the carpet.

"Don't say that Ianto, you will find someone and when you do you will be happy again. I know I only met Lisa once but I am pretty sure that she would want you to move on with your life and find someone who makes you happy."

Ianto wanted to believe that he even deserved such happiness, but the deaths of Annie and Dr Tanizaki would always remain on his conscience.

"Anyway." He forced a smile for her benefit. "I brought some presents with me, I hope you don't mind. I am sorry I forgot Mica's birthday so I hope these make up for it a little bit." He gestured to the bags he had left by the door.

Rhiannon's gaze followed his hand and she rolled her eyes and grinned. "You daft beggar, you didn't need to do that but thank you it's always nice to have a present to open. I've got one for you too. Hang on a minute I will just go and get it." She leapt off the couch and disappeared out of the room. Ianto could clearly hear her thumping up the stairs and across the room above him. A few minutes later and she was back at his side and pressing a small velvet box into his hands.

"Mam made me promise to give this to you. It was the first ring Tad gave to her after their second date. She was hoping that one day you would be able to give it to a future girlfriend or maybe even a future wife. To be honest I really thought that Lisa would be the one and perhaps in some ways she is, I don't know. Give it to someone you love Ianto, I know that is what mam would want for you."

Ianto carefully flipped open the lid and discovered a thin and well-worn gold band nestling on a bed of satin. He had never seen the ring before but it had clearly never been taken off until his mother had died at the tender age of 29. Fat tears rolled down his pale cheeks and closing the box he pulled his sister into a tight embrace which she freely returned, both of them crying into one another's shoulders.

AN: okay, not so much action and adventure as promised. Will try again tomorrow. Thank you for reading and for your very supportive and kind reviews. Deeta