Woohoo! Chapter 10! What do you guys think of the story so far? To slow? Want more action? Tell me everything you are thinking in a review, even the bad stuff! So I am thinking I should be able to pull off a chapter every other day for you guys unless things get really busy but this is certainly my goal! Thanks again everyone for all your on going support and I hope you are enjoying reading!
I do not own the Hunger Games. Everything belongs to Suzanne Collins!
I walk down the stairs of the house, still wearing my sleeping clothes from the night before. I didn't feel like getting dressed for some reason this morning. I slump my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Peeta making some sort of breakfast for me. To be honest though, I'm not very hungry.
"Morning, love." He says as I sit down at the table and lay my head down and hide my face with my arms. I mumble some sort of response to Peeta. He soon plates the food and walks over to sit beside me. His hands rub circles on my back.
"You okay?" He says with a bit of worry in his voice. I prop my head up in my hands with my elbows on the table.
"Yeah, just tired and not feeling well to be honest. Rough night." I say as he continues to rub my back. It feels amazing. I quickly rotate my body so that my back is facing him. "That feels great. Could you massage my back please?"
"Of course." He says as if he thought it would be absolutely ridiculous to think he would decline. He of course knew that it was a rough night. He had to wake me from all my nightmares.
I moan contentedly as he begins messaging my shoulders gently, but still hard enough to get all the knots out of my muscles. By the time he has finished he has taken care of my shoulders, neck, shoulder blades, and lower back. I swear he works magic.
"Thank you you're amazing." I say as I turn around to face the table again.
"Are you going to eat now?" He asks but I shake my head slowly.
"No I'm really not hungry. I will have something later I promise." He gives me a suspicious look but drops the subject.
"So, you coming to help out with the build today?" He asks while eating his eggs.
"No, I haven't been home all week and I really want to get some things done around the house. I'm also still really tired so maybe I can take a nap or something." We both know that won't really happen. I would never attempt to sleep like that without Peeta here. It's sad to think that I am so reliant on this man but I really am.
"Well alright. You have to eat though, alright? If you need me come find me at the bakery okay?"
"Sure." I say.
"Promise me you will do those things for me?" He says with a serious tone in his voice.
"I promise."
"Good." He says and pecks me on the forehead and heads for the door. "And get up and move around. Maybe go for a walk or something, don't stay cooped up in here all day."
"Okay. Have a good day Peeta."
"You too. I love you, bye." He says as he walks out the door but not before shooting me a worried glance.
"Bye." I say as he closes the door behind him. I briefly think about attempting to hunt again but immediately but the idea away because I really do not feel well enough to do much of anything today. As soon as I lay down on the couch in front of the fire place my mind begins traveling to places I try so hard to avoid.
I spend the day on the couch with silent tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking about the dreams that invaded my mind last night. Prim, in a pretty blue dress being captured by Snow and tortured and later killed. Finnick, hand in hand with Annie running from some sort of mutt the capitol created to destroy and manipulate them.
I even dreamt about Gale last night. This was new. I hadn't dreamt of him in a very long time. Last night however, I was tortured to know end by unexpected people popping up. Gale even kissed me in one of them but I avoid thinking about that one.
I briefly thought of taking one of the sleeping pills Dr. Aurelius had given me upon arriving back home but soon realize that is out of the question. I hate what they do to me. Yes, they put me to sleep, and yes they keep me asleep but they do not keep the nightmares away. Having nightmares and not being able to wake up is unbearable.
I finally get up off the couch around eleven in the morning. I go into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of tea. I sit at the island of the kitchen and sip my tea, thinking about how Peeta said I should get some air.
I quickly drink the rest of my tea, even though it is still very hot. I put the cup into the sink without washing it and head for the door, throwing on my jacket and boots and out into the crisp fall air.
As I walk down the front steps I suddenly realize that I am still in my sleeping clothes but soon forget as I tell myself it really doesn't matter. I start walking toward the meadow.
When I reach the large open space of green I walk into it and pick a spot under a large tree and lay down, resting my head on the soft grass. I inspect all of the flowers, birds, plants, and insects around me as I see them, picking out their every detail. I used to do this often when I was looking at a plant that I wanted to put in the small book my father had started.
Each time we added a new plant we took care to write down it's every detail, every single thing we could think of to describe it. The texture, colour, shape, number of leaves, whether or not it was poisonous, whether it had thorns, how tall it was, or how thick the stem would grow.
I think of how we did this so that none of them would be forgotten, and so that no one would miss judge the plant to see it. Each one has its own features and characteristics. There was always an intricately drawn picture to go with it, so that you would have a visual to look at just in case you needed to tell them apart.
I begin thinking of how similar these plants are to the people who I have lost during the war, and even before that. Not just the people I know but everyone who was lost. Everyone has a story, and everyone deserves to be remembered. They deserve to have people not forget them, or miss judge them.
The people who died need to be remembered, need to have every detail we can muster up recorded for people to read, and respect. The same way we didn't want to forget the plants or anything about them, I don't want to forget those people. Not one single detail.
I know now what I need to do. Something I hope Peeta and some others will be willing to help with. Something I hope I will be able to do, and heal from it. Something I have to do to be able to let go.
I slowly rise to my feet after thinking about the idea for several hours, in no rush. I walk slowly back to my home, feeling better than I had been this morning. I arrive into the empty house and collapse on the couch without even taking my coat or boots off. I almost immediately fall asleep.
When I wake I am drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. I had a nightmare but it wasn't a really bad one. I am still relived though when I feel Peeta's arms wrapped tightly around me, his words calming in my ear.
"Shhh its okay, I'm here." He says. I open my eyes slowly and realize I am still on the couch but I have been stripped of the coat, and boots. All of a sudden, a voice breaks through my thoughts.
"Is she always like this?" The voice says. I recognize it but I wasn't concentrating hard enough to know who it is. My head is still tucked into the crook of his neck and I feel him nod. I wonder who on Earth could be sitting with us in my living room until I slowly turn my head around to look at the mysterious guest.
When I see her I give a confused and surprised look, still groggy from the nap. She looks at me and smiles her toothy grin.
"Surprise!" She says, pretending to be excited as her face immediately slumps back down into a scowl.
Johanna Mason is sitting in front of me in my own living room and all I can think of is how Peeta is going to pay for this one.
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