Warnings: Half assed editing as becoming the norm.

ALSO please take note that this chapter follows the events of the very first chapter.

The Present

"Sir Integra is going to kill us!" the Police Girl cried as she began to pace her chambers. "She's going to place one bullet on our foreheads and another through our chests! I'm going to die a virgin and all I'll have to show for my years on earth is a ridiculous and weathered police uniform straight out of a kink shop!"

Alucard rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Police Girl, I have this firmly under control," he said trying to reassure her.

Seras stopped pacing, eyes wide with fear. "Under control?" she uttered in disbelief. "You have a man bound in my coffin!" she screeched. She even pointed to where George lay, struggling against his bonds. Initially Alucard had removed the gag, but had hastily returned it when George began screaming nonsensical words, a handful of them quite offensive.

Seriously, what did he think Alucard meant when he said they were going to have fun? Did he think this was some BDMS fantasy come to life? That he intended to introduce him to forbidden pleasures and group sex? Alucard found he was slightly offended- he was a reformed man after all.

Perhaps two decades ago the idea wouldn't have been so farfetched. He'd been a wild sexy little thing back then, but then Integra happened and now he wanted the simple pleasures of being in a monogamous relationship where they occasionally shot each other with live ammunition. Good times.

"Walter is going to find out! He always finds out! He knows things, things even we-"

The rest of Seras hysterical rant was cut off when Alucard's open palm met her cheek in a stinging slap. Secretly he'd always wanted to do that when Seras was having a 'freak out' moment.

"I'm sorry Police Girl, but you were going into shock," he said not the least bit contrite.

She cradled her face, glaring at him. "Master, that wasn't necessary," she grumbled.

Alucard begged to differ, but he said nothing. The Police Girl had pointed out something important though. Walter had the uncanny ability of finding out things he had no business finding out. The man was like a bloodhound. It wouldn't do for him to discover Alucard's latest little misdemeanour. He'd report it to Integra, who would no doubt be displeased with him. She'd also put a stop to his fun and God only knows what else she'd do to him.

No. Walter could not find out. There really was no choice...

This saddened him greatly. He really liked Walter. Oh what a conundrum!

Or was it? After all Walter had lived quite a long fulfilling life. In fact had it not been for him, Alucard, having to save his ass multiple times, Walter would be dead by now. Technically Walter owed him.

Alucard smirked as an idea began to form in his mind.

"Master, why are you smiling like that?" Seras asked with trepidation.

"We're going to have to take care of, Walter, Police Girl."

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean we?" she asked. "And take care of him how?"

His grin only grew wider. "We can't have him interfering in our plans..."

"Stop using the plural, I'm not a part of this!" Seras exclaimed vehemently. "I won't play a part in harming anyone, especially Walter!"

"Slow down cowgirl, no one is going to harm dear old Walter."

"But you said you are going to take care of him," she accused.

Alucard nodded, "Indeed, but there are other... less bloody means." He glanced at his captive. "Not for you though, you're definitely going to bleed, Georgie."

The man's eyes narrowed into deviant slits. The fact that he wasn't cowering in fear and begging for his life earned him a bit of Alucard's respect regardless how begrudgingly it was given.

"It's not too late, Master we could just stop this," Seras said, trying to appeal to his more empathetic side. Unfortunately for his fledging, he no longer had such a side!

Alucard glowered at his fledgling. "And simply concede defeat?' he asked baffled. "Do I look like a quitter to you, Police Girl?"

She shook her head in the negative.

"This is my own fault, I never should've included you in all this," he said with a frown.

"That's exactly what I've been trying to tell you!" Seras exclaimed.

"What did I ever do to get such a useless fledgling," Alucard muttered darkly.

Seras glared at him. "Well since I'm so useless, you obviously don't need my help in keeping this from Walter." She gritted out, intending to march right out of her room and leave her master with his mess.

"Ah blackmail, I wondered when you'd show your hand. You are my fledgling after all."'

That stopped her right in her tracks, making her turn back. "I'm not blackmailing you with anything!" She yelled.

Inwardly, Alucard allowed himself an evil chuckle. This was always too easy. "Your evil knows no bounds. Fine what is it you want?" he asked exasperatedly. "A new coffin?"

"That's a given, seeing as mine is otherwise occupied," Seras muttered.

"Well I'm sure you can find one somewhere in this labyrinth of rooms."

She made a face, "Ewww, I'm not going to sleep in some random coffin, who knows what's still crawling in there!"

"Nothing alive I assure you," Alucard mused with a grin. "Fine how about a bathing suit?"

"To do what with?!" Seras exclaimed with a baffled expression on her face.

Her master shrugged. "Swim, prance around... seriously Police Girl, don't you ever get tired of having me think for you?"

Seras choose to ignore the jibe. "What about I get the extra spare room next to my old room?" she suggested instead, already liking the idea very much. Maybe she could even add more colour to it?

"No." Her master deadpanned.

"No," she echoed. "But nobody uses it!"

"It's my thinking room," Alucard said firmly.

"Excuse me?"

"You are excused I wouldn't expect you to know what that entails."

"The other empty room?" Seras asked in an annoyed tone. At times dealing with her master felt a lot like pulling teeth.

"That's my sulking room," he replied.

"Well you better stop sulking then, because it's going to be Seras' room of solitude!"

Alucard smirked. "You've been saving that line for quite some time."

"And you need my help," Seras retorted. And yes, she'd been saving that line ever since she was a kid and idolized Superman.

They held a staring match for several moments before Alucard gave a long suffering sigh. "Fine, you've already taken my blood, my time and patience... might as well take away more of my domain... You're such a parasite."

"I guess you've taught me well," the draculina said smugly.

"Of all that I've been trying to drill in that head of yours that's seriously the only thing you wish to learn?" her master asked, his lips curling in distaste.

Seras huffed before crossing her arms over her bosom. "So what do you plan to do with him?" she asked, gesturing with her head at their prisoner.

Her master began rubbing his hands against each other with a mad look on his face. "To be honest I didn't really think further than abducting him and causing him unimaginable pain..." he admitted with a thoughtful look. "But lucky for all of us when it comes to torture I can be very creative," Alucard added as he clasped his hands together. "But first, we need to deal with Walter."

/

Something was amiss.

That's the thought that plagued Walter as he went about preparing the tray for Integra's supper. The house was quiet- too quiet. He hadn't seen head or hide of the vampires which was odd if not disturbing. By now Alucard would be demanding to be fed, yet he hadn't even sent Miss Victoria to fetch their meals.

Walter's instincts told him that they were up to something. What that thing was, he had yet to find out but he would soon enough. He decided as he picked up the tray and began the journey to Integra's office. His leg made carrying out his daily chores bothersome, but to rest would be giving Alucard the satisfaction of having temporarily crippled him, which on principle he refused to give.

When he eventually reached Integra's office, Walter knocked and waited until Integra called him in before entering.

"Walter, I thought I told you that I would be having my meals at the kitchen," Integra gently chided her voiced laced with concern. "There is no point of you taking those steps just to bring me food."

"True, but than you would never eat," he said as he carefully laid out her evening meal.

His charge gave him a rueful smile as she placed her pen down. "I'm not a child, Walter," she reminded him.

"Then you will make sure to finish all your greens this time."

Integra made a face before taking a sip from the glass of water he'd brought. "By the way, have you seen Alucard or Seras?" she asked casually.

So his suspicions were right, there really was something going on if Alucard had even failed to visit Integra after his slumber. But not wanting to alert Integra of his suspicions, he kept his expression blank. "No Sir, perhaps they went out hunting?" he suggested, it was plausible enough.

That seemed to satisfy Integra because she picked up her eating utensils. "Probably," she agreed. "Hopefully Alucard isn't getting to any trouble... I swear he's going to cause my hair to grey prematurely." There was a fondness in Integra's voice that Walter doubted she was aware off.

For years it had been one of Walter's missions to ensure that the relationship between master and vampire remained platonic. Though it was made easier due to Integra's will that refused to be swayed by a handsome face and smooth tongue there was still the obvious attraction between them that had Walter constantly on vigil.

Back then it had more to do with Integra's age than anything, but now there was also the matter of Integra's current status. She was in need of an heir and as long as Alucard continued to be such a prominent fixture in her life, that would be all but impossible. So Walter was quite happy to see his young master taking an interest in a man close to her own age with good upbringing.

He could hardly remember the last time she'd shown an interest in a potential suitor. And even though it was quite obvious that Alucard strongly disapproved, Walter was intent on encouraging Integra's interest in Sir Archfield for her own sake. "Did you enjoy you're luncheon?" he queried.

Integra swallowed the food in her mouth before replying, "It was enjoyable, he is quite agreeable."

"And handsome," Walter put in.

Integra coughed, her cheeks turning a light shade of red. "Uhm... I guess," she said, obviously uncomfortable with discussing the matter with him much to his amusement.

"This could be a good thing, Sir," he said.

"How so?" Integra asked.

"Well for one it could get the Round Table off your back and secondly it might put a stop to Alucard's possessive behaviour towards you," Walter answered with a disapproving frown. "I think you have left weaning him out for too long, Sir."

"You say that like Alucard's a child, Walter," Integra said ruefully.

"In some respects he is," the butler said. "Especially when it comes to you."

Integra sighed. "Walter you yourself know how tiring that is," she said in a wary voice. "Look what happened to poor Stanley James and Leonard Winsted before that?"

Indeed those had been very unfortunate circumstances, but Walter felt that it was wrong that Integra had to keep suitors away in fear Alucard would cause them harm. "I remember, Sir," he replied. "Perhaps you should leave this matter to me?" he suggested.

"Alucard hardly listens to me in such matters, why would he listen to you?" she asked sceptically.

"Because I happen to have known him for quite a long period of time."

Integra still looked unconvinced but she eventually nodded her consent. "Fine, but just be careful, Walter... when it comes to this Alucard is nothing if not ruthless," she warned.

"I'll be diligent, Sir. I give you my word," Walter promised, having no idea that while he was busy planning to steer Integra away from Alucard the very same vampire was plotting his own attack against him.

-/-

Author's note: Thank you to those who reviewed. I'm very busy right now I have no idea when my next update will be. And because I honestly don't feel as if anyone is obligated to review, I don't feel obligated to update every week. Though I still appreciate feedback because logically no one wants to write a story for ghosts- I simply don't have the time unfortunately. It just sucks that the AxI pairing is dying such a quick and swift death. The next chapter might come sooner; I just need time to finish it.

My god daughter passed away last week so I dedicate this chapter to her because I choose to remember only the good.