My breath is filled with the light

Sorry for not updating for like a day. Bad news. I won't be updating for a few days. I have summer homework to finish and then school starts. I may have time to write chapter 11 tomorrow. But this chapter is really really long so I'm sure it can tie you over. Much love to all of you who have been supporting me!

Thanks to: stargazer starluver, ikelepsis, nerys, blindfaithoperadiva, tears of winter, arella, michaela, halfbloodprincess3 (hi shanti's sister!), maripas, mr. sam, caity, ana, aaron a aaronson, zozz, annikacan, and golden leaves of mirkwood for reviewing!

Sorry for not responding individually. It's 4:24 and I just finished the chapter like 10 minutes ago. So also excuse typos. I'll find them tomorrow. You can thank Mr.Sam again for a hot chapter.

"Mr.Sam says: hmmm...just think of what you would do to me and theres your inspiration. Smut city"

Just letting you know, Sam, that you asked for it.

And Caity... I will find you!

--

Drink From My Cup

Chapter Ten: Connections

My breath is filled with the light

Beneath the skin of my loved ones

Who saved me from dripping wings

But discarded me along with them

But this seems to be something we do

Own and discard

Connect and disconnect

Whether love still connects us

I can't say

My veins are filled with the blood

Beneath the skin of my loved ones

And at least love is a memory

And a memory

Sends chills

It was when Hermione agreed to a night of gossiping, junk food eating, and giggling that she realized she was lonely. She had left her friends, her family, her future, and her entire life behind when she had been sucked into this bizarre world. It was more than once when Hermione would awake during the night and think the breathing around her was really that of Harry or Ron. She was beginning to even miss the days of hiding beneath that cat smelling tent, just to she could be near them. She realized… it was all worth it. Every minute of arguing and every sacrifice she had to make had been worth it, not only because Harry had needed her help but because she had needed Harry and Ron. She couldn't imagine what she would have done with herself if she hadn't gone with them… but she could imagine how worried she'd have been.

It was all worth it.

But now as she sat amongst her new peers, listening to them laugh and chatter away happily, she wondered how worth it all this was. As if she had a choice, she reminded herself. She had been forced into this past. But there was no mission waiting for her here. So she should forget about Tom Riddle and continue looking for a way out. Perhaps she could tell Dumbledore the tiniest bit about her predicament and together they could find a way to withdraw a Horcrux. There was no need to let on that she herself was the said Horcrux… she did not want Dumbledore setting up a path for her like Harry's… she wanted to discover a way to survive this… Voldemort, after all, never took her blood for his use. There was nothing to tie her to the earth but her will to live.

But Hermione had not dared to remain in the library alone since Riddle had cornered her. Every time she thought about what happened… well two things occurred… she felt sudden revulsion and pleasant shivers. It had been a week and Riddle had not tried to repeat what he had done. There was, however, a definite change in the way he acted around her… as though she were delicate and valuable. He was courteous, but not falsely so. His Death Eaters had not so much as looked at her since their run in at the library. Hermione feared the worst in Rosier's case. He had not even acted angrily about her refusal to tell him anything about the locket. He had not mentioned the fangs or the memory of her in the Gryffindor Common room at the age of thirteen.

Hermione had defiantly refused to stop thinking about Ron. How could she? If she did she would only be falling into Riddle's games. But she still practiced Occlumency when she caught him staring at her. It was much easier to do when she was not pinned to the wall by him…. Hermione tried time and time again to forget about what he had done. But it was impossible. Whenever she tried to put it out of her mind, he would be there in class, meeting her gaze, carrying her books to her next class even when she had not asked him to, offering her help on her assignments (which she always refused)… and every time he was near she could feel his lips on hers as though it had been more than a kiss but a brand burnt on to her lips.

"Artemis, is anything wrong?" Agatha Prewitt asked. Hermione jumped. She had been engrossed in thought, not really paying attention to what the other girls were saying as they sat in their dormitories late on the Friday night after Riddle had cornered Hermione.

"I- I'm fine," Hermione said dully. "I was just thinking."

"Probably thinking about the library," Elizabeth snickered. "I noticed you haven't been spending every waking moment there this week."

"Tuh! I bet I know what she's really thinking about," Victoria Zabini said with raised eyebrows.

Hermione looked confused. What on earth could they imagine she's thinking about? She waited for Victoria to drop the bomb, assuming it would be far off the mark.

"She's thinking about Tom Riddle," Victoria finished with a triumphant note in her voice.

Hermione could not hide the look of surprise on her face. How could they know? Had news of Tom and her encounter spread? Well, these things always find a way to leak out, she reminded herself glumly, thinking of all the rumours that would follow after one of Harry's adventures.

"See, I told you. Look at her face," Victoria said gleefully. "I bet he's going to ask you to the next Hogsmeade weekend- the way he always carries your books and smiles at you."

Hermione internally groaned as the girls laughed. So they thought Riddle only had a bit of a fancy for her did they?

Agatha scowled.

"If he does, I don't think you should say yes, Artemis," she advised. "There's something about him… he's kind of scary."

Hermione felt relieved that at least one of the girls was not apt to trust Riddle full heartedly.

"Don't be silly," Elizabeth snapped at Agatha. "You just don't like him because he's in Slytherin. He's nice enough and he seems to have really taken to her."

"Yes, I've noticed it too," Caity said more serenely. "He stares at you a lot. And he was really keen on checking on you in the library the other day." She grinned. Elizabeth smirked.

Hermione felt angry. There was no way she could make these girls understand. How could she tell them how scared she was? She could not reveal any of her anxiety and fear to them or what had really happened in the library. Besides… Hermione was sure Riddle was only interested in her out of his selfish need to protect the piece of soul inside of her. If she did not possess this quality, he would have never looked her way.

"So?" Victoria asked. "What are you going to say if he asks you?"

"I don't really want anything to do with Riddle," Hermione said coolly. "If he asks me I'll say no."

The girls looked surprised, even Agatha.

"He's probably going to be Minister of Magic some day, he's cute, he's nice, and he likes you. But you would turn him down?" Victoria asked curiously.

Hermione resisted the urge to scoff. Minister of Magic? Well, you could say that…. But she had to be patient with these girls. They had no idea what Tom Riddle's future held and he was rather deceiving. In fact, if Hermione hadn't already known that he had already committed murder and split his soul she might have fallen into his spell as well.

"I just don't have any interest in him," Hermione stated simply. "He's not my type. Pass the butterbeer please."

The Gryffindor girls exchanged impressed and bemused glances as they passed around a box of butterbeer.

--

Tom was furious with himself. How could he have lost control like that? The girl may contain a piece of his soul, and yes she may be attractive but under no circumstances could he lose control of himself. He might as well have just shagged her against the bookshelves. He had to be above such mortal needs. He couldn't need, want, or lust after anything on this earth. He needed to master himself. But she… she should need him desperately… that was the only way to ensure she was loyal to him. She had such defiance… she was so rebellious. She hated him. She knew what she had inside of her and she reviled it.

Tom felt anger bubble up inside of him. She should be honored to possess something so powerful. And another thing… she had the locket! Where on earth had she found it? Did she still possess it? The memories he had forced from her had only created more questions rather than solve the mystery. How had she attended Hogwarts all these years? Who was the dark haired boy who also knew about the locket?

And how… he thought with fury, had she and that boy managed to obtain basilisk fangs.

Perhaps he could slip her some veritserum… but that would be too risky. He never sat near her at meal times and he doubted she would ever accept something he gave her. He must find away to corner her again… to get her on her own and force her to tell the truth…. and to eradicate these human urges he had for her.

--

"So, Artemis," Riddle said smoothly the day before Halloween right at the end of Defense Against the Dark Arts. "There's a Hogsmeade visit tomorrow. I think you should go with me"

Hermione gapped at him. Was he mad? Did he think she was stupid enough to get herself trapped with him again?

"No, Riddle. Now excuse me I have to use the restroom," she said curtly and tried to push past him.

"Perhaps you should use the girls restroom on the second floor. You seem to be quite familiar with it already," he growled quietly, not allowing her to pass.

A familiar sense of cold dread crept up Hermione's arms and legs. She stared at his shoulder, refusing to meet his eyes.

"The first floor girls room is closer, thank you," Hermione said boldly, despite her fear.

Riddle's eyes flickered to Professor Merrythought momentarily. Seeing that she was discussing the score of an essay with another student, Riddle's eyes snapped back to Hermione's. He took a threatening step towards her.

"I believe you understand what I mean," he said, keeping his voice calm. "You are a great deal of trouble, Artemis. The locket, the fangs, and this," he finished placing a hand possessively on her rib cage. Hermione sucked in a breath.

"Is everything alright over there?" came the voice of Professor Merrythought. Apparently she was done talking to the student. Hermione saw, with a sense of frustration, that the student was Victoria who was eyeing Riddle's hand on Hermione's waist with a look of smug satisfaction.

"Yes, Professor," Riddle said pulling away from Hermione and smiling. "I was only asking Artemis if she would go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow." He gave Hermione a politely expectant and hopeful look that she knew to be as genuine as the name he called her.

"Oh, that's lovely. I always thought you two would make a wonderful couple!" Merrythought said with a wide grin on her face. "Well, Artemis, are you going to keep this young man waiting for an answer?"

Hermione looked desperately from Victoria (who was still wearing that frustrating expression on her face), to her Professor, and then reluctantly to Riddle whom she could see a look of demand and triumph in his eyes among the fake look of courtesy.

"I- I suppose so," she said in a small voice, hating herself.

Whatever Merrythought and Victoria's reactions were, she would never know for her attention was entirely on Riddle. His posture had relaxed and he had taken her hand and given it a small kiss, she could feel the smirk on his lips, before exiting the classroom.

Hermione glumly walked out of the classroom with Victoria who was giving her a hard time of what she had said only the night before.

"You two are going to be the talk of the school!" Victoria said excitedly. "Oh, I bet you'll never forget this Hogsmeade visit, Artemis!"

And Hermione agreed, with a pang of fear and anxiety. She would probably never forget this Hogsmeade visit as long as she lived.

--

Just as Victoria had predicted, everyone had already heard that Tom Riddle and Artemis Morgen were going to Hogsmeade together by the next morning. Everyone seemed thrilled that the two brilliant orphans had found comfort in each other and were sure that this relationship would grow into something deeper.

With a great sense of dread and foreboding, Hermione dressed and made her way into the Great Hall the morning of Halloween. Riddle was already waiting for her. She noted for the first time since meeting him how handsome he truly was. He was very tall and the green and black of his robes suited him very well, along with his dark hair and eyes to match. Hermione had to physically shake her head to pull her thoughts away from that kiss yet again. But doing this only reminded her of how she still wore her hair to her shoulders… just the way he liked it. It was at this point that Hermione began to realize just how much control Tom Riddle truly had on her. And now she was walking toward him against her will to spend an entire day with him. She would rather spend the day with ten blast-ended skrewts….

He smiled at her as she approached him and held out his arm for her to take.

Make that twenty blast-ended skrewts.

She did not take his arm right away but only stared at him with a look of trepidation and bemusement on her face.

Riddle, not wanting to look as though his own date did not want to be with him, grabbed her arm quickly and linked it with his own. Hermione closed her eyes momentarily as the beating inside of her quickened and hardened at his touch before opening them again and allowing herself to be led out into the grounds and towards Hogsmeade. She felt as though she were going to be sick.

"We will be making a short detour once we reach Hogsmeade," Riddle told her casually, though his soul betrayed a beat of excitement. Hermione was not pleased to hear this.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. They reached the small town and strolled along the streets slowly, memories of happier visits to the village filling Hermione's mind while Riddle smiled and winked at anyone who looked their way. After a few minutes of this they made their way to the Hog's Head. Hermione felt tears sting her eyes as she looked up at the sign and wondered whether Aberforth was the bartender here yet, and whether during this time he and Dumbledore were on speaking terms.

"This way," Riddle said and tried to pull her around to the deserted side of the bar. Hermione resisted.

"I'm not going anywhere no one can see us," she stated fiercely. Riddle sneered. Hermione's arm went to her wand. He grabbed her wand arm quickly, preventing her from pulling it out of her pocket, though she still had it in her grip. "I mean it, Riddle."

Riddle removed his hand from Hermione's arm and smiled at a pair of fourth years that were passing by, eyeing them curiously.

"Don't make things difficult, Artemis," he growled in her ear. "I told you we had to make a detour. You will come or I will make you come." His eyes flashed red.

Hermione tried to pull away from him, but his grip was too strong. He yanked her along with him until they reached the deserted side of the outside of the Hog's Head.

"Riddle! Let me go!" she said loudly, reaching for her wand yet again. But as she withdrew it his hand pressed over her mouth and he jerked her to him, crushing her wand between their bodies. Riddle spun with her on the spot and they were gone.

There was a crack and they appeared. Hermione looked around at her surroundings… she gasped. They were in Knockturn Alley. Why had he brought her here?

"Tom! We're not allowed to apparate away from Hogsmeade! We could be expelled!"

Somewhere in Hermione's panic she recognized how lame this argument was considering Riddle had already done a handful of things that should have landed him in Azkaban let alone gotten him expelled.

Riddle took Hermione's present disgruntled state to jerk her wand from her hand. She cried out in anger. He twirled it in his fingers and it was gone… as though it had dispparated. Hermione gapped at his hand where her wand had been only moments before.

"What- what did you do? WHERE'S MY WAND?" she shrieked furiously at him, gaining stares from shady passersby.

But he didn't look at her, but only tightened his grasp around her arm. He pulled her, struggling, with him, down the alleyway. Other occupants of the alley seemed to either not care or ignore the fact that a teenage boy was forcing an angry female down a dangerous street with him. A hag tried to stop them to offer them glittering trinkets for only two galleons. Riddle ignored the hag. He yanked Hermione with him forcefully.

And then they were in front of Borgin and Burke's. Hermione stopped struggling momentarily and frowned at the familiar store. Last time she had seen this place was when her, Harry, and Ron had followed Draco. She was not pleased to be back. Tom forced her through the door with him and approached the front desk. The scent of dust and old wood met Hermeion's nostrils.

"Ah, Mr. Riddle, it's nice to have you back," came the tired voice of an old man. Hermione surmised that this must be Burke. She had never seen him alive, Borgin being the sole owner of the store during Hermione's time. "I was beginning to think you had become a stranger… and you've brought a guest…." His eyes rested on Hermione with interest.

"Hello, Mr. Burke," Riddle said, confirming Hermione's suspicion. "Yes, she goes to my school," he said brushing aside Burke's interest in the girl. "I have need for an object. Would you still have-"

"Yes, I do believe so," Burke said apparently already knowing what the young man wanted, eyeing Riddle more intently. "That is if you have more of something for me…."

Hermione felt Riddle's hand tense on her arm while her pulse sped up. She could tell he was angry though the emotion did not show on his face. Riddle nodded curtly and pulled out his wand. Hermione flinched and saw Burke's eyes snap to it immediately, as though trying to decide whether the gesture was threatening or whether it would provide what he wanted. But Riddle only flicked his wand and a small jar of murky white liquid appeared on the counter before him. Burke's face lit up.

"Marvelous! I don't know where you get it, but it's not in my business to ask questions," Burke added hurriedly, eyeing Riddle's wand again, which he had not put away. "Yes, what you've come for. It's back here…." He beckoned for them to follow him.

Tom's grip on her arm tightened still as he walked. Hermione and Tom walked around the counter and followed Burke into a small storage room. Hermione noticed Riddle's eyes darting to various objects along the walls with greed, but he seemed to be containing himself, considering that the object he had come for was more important than the others around the room.

And then Burke had it in his hands… a small golden pot with letters scrolled across it in a foreign language.

"Here it is," Burke said carrying it delicately over to Tom. Tom's face lit up, though not in a pleasant way. "Will you be taking it with you, or-"

"May we use a room," Tom asked abruptly, not removing his eyes from the golden pot. Hermione noted, with panic, that he used the pronoun "we" as in she was included in whatever he had in mind.

Burke's face paled and his eyes flickered over to Hermione. Hermione did not take this a a good sign.

"I am not sure. That would be fairly risky… right in the store. The Ministry is already asking questions…."

Tom sighed and flicked his wand a second time. A second jar of the same liquid appeared and Tom caught it, letting go of Hermione's arm in doing so. Hermione thought, in a moment of insanity, that she should make a run for it. But that may not be a good idea considering she was unarmed and located in Knockturn Alley. Before she could make up her mind, however, Tom and Burke had traded objects and Tom was grabbing the material on her shoulder with the same hand he was gripping his wand, and leading her into the next room.

The old wizard watched them go with a look of guilt and uneasiness on his face.

They entered a smaller, dusty room, with nothing but a square table in the center of it and a few dozen candles surrounding the walls for light. Tom sat her in one of the chairs at the table and took a seat across from her, placing the pot gingerly upon the tabletop.

"Was that liquid basilisk venom?" Hermione asked, amazed by how steady her voice was.

Tom nodded silently, still eyeing the golden object.

"What is that?" Hermione asked, following his gaze. Maybe if she understood it she would not fear it.

He finally looked up at her, meeting her brown eyes with black.

"This," he began, "is a powerful instrument. It is used to bind two people. In ancient times it was used to bind a women to her husband before the practice was outlawed, being considered Dark Arts."

"But you don't have a problem with that, do you?" Hermione snapped, beginning to comprehend why he had brought her here.

Tom gazed at her with an intense look Hermione had come to expect from him. He then smirked.

"No, I have no problems with that." He raised his wand to the small pot and a liquid as equally gold as the pot below it began to pour from it. It hit the bottom of the pot and turned black. "You see, in our case we are already quite bonded. I really have no need for additional unions. While a piece of my soul belongs to you, you entirely belong to me."

"Then why am I here," Hermione snapped again, resenting the fact he believed he owned her. She eyed the door to the room, trying to find any way to escape.

The black potion in the pot had begun to swell as though it were alive.

"Because, sweet Artemis, you are a liar," he practically purred. "One effect of this process is that the woman can no longer lie to her husband. One reason, I believe, that once more women began to fill the ministry the practice was outlawed."

Hermione was outraged and horrified at this act of sexism and control.

"I will not drink that!" she raged, thinking with horror of all the things she must keep from him. Of Harry and Ron and the future of Tom Riddle. Of her parents and the downfall of Voldemort….

"No, you won't," he said as-matter-of-factly. Hermione stared at him in surprise. "I will."

Hermione looked at him in terror. She could refuse to drink the potion herself but she could not stop him from taking it. But something was missing… how could only a black potion bond them together? Surely there had to be some action on her part….

"I will need your blood," Tom stated simply as though he read her mind as he stirred the black potion with his wand, which was now turning a burning red.

"No," Hermione heard her voice say, and she felt her head shake back and forth in refusal, though she felt as though the body she sat in did not belong to her. "No. I won't."

Tom looked at her with an amused expression on his face.

"Well, I didn't think a little insolent witch like you would hand over her blood willingly," he said with a cruel laugh and raised his wand. Hermione shrank back in her chair.

"Imperio!"

And Hermione felt blissful. She felt glorious numbness fill her brain and she had not a thought or worry… it was like taking a draught of dreamless sleep. Nothing mattered anymore.

Walk over to me and hold out your hand.

Hermione made to move but something held her back. Now why would she do that? Didn't she not want to do that?

Come over here, now. It's all right. I won't hurt you.

She'd heard those words before. Perhaps she couldn't trust them. Hermione felt her legs twitch but remained in her seat.

Come. Now!

The voice was angry now and Hermione felt less inclined to do what it said. She would not obey it.

"NO!"

And Hermione felt the bliss lift off of her and shock, anger, fear, and the memory of where she was and whom she was with came crashing down on her, heavier than it had been before being cursed. Her chest hurt and she realized that she had slammed into the table and fallen backwards onto the floor. Tom looked livid.

Nothing of his should disobey him. If he could not master her, he could not master himself.

"So, you're able to repel the Imperius Curse?" he asked, standing and moving toward her threateningly. "That just adds to your mystery. I will be very glad when I am able to crack it," he snarled and approached her with his wand raised. As she watched him raise his wand to her, Hermione felt strangely calm.

"Tom," Hermione heard herself say gently. "Tom, please."

He froze, staring down at her with curiosity and anger on his face. She managed to shakily stand herself up so that they were standing in front of each other. He continued to stare coldly at her though he was becoming more curious by the minute.

"D- don't do this," she said approaching him cautiously. She was not sure what she was doing, but wandless and friendless, she had to do something. She did what seemed to come naturally.

He did not step away from her as she approached him, but he lowered his wand.

"Please," she said as she finished closing the space between them. "Please, don't."

Both of their breathing was ragged. Tom's pupils had dilated as he stared down at her anxious and pleading face. What was she doing? Maybe he was growing soft but he allowed her to place her hands on either side of his head. He felt the familiar giddy elation as the pulse in her hands beat against his temples. Before he realized what was happening, he was sitting in the chair Artemis had just fallen out of and she was sitting on his lap, caressing the sides of his face with her hands. He pocketed his wand to allow use of both his hands and he gripped her waist as usual as she continued.

Hermione had not meant to end up on his lap, but she never really had a plan in the first place. This new position surprised her. She felt more powerful than she had in weeks…. She saw his eyes close as her hands moved up to his hair, running through it gently. She had an effect on him, just as he had an effect on her. Hermione leaned in closer to him, enjoying guiltily the way his arms encircled her waist. She felt the pulse thump in joy as their chests made contact or was that her own heart? Or both?

Hermione leaned her head in towards Tom's, feeling his shallow breathing against her neck. All thoughts of what he had been trying to do to her and thoughts of what she was suppose to be doing fled her mind. He opened his eyes as she lowered her face and their dark eyes met. He was intoxicating.

Hermione pressed her lips onto his gently. Unlike the kiss they had shared a week before, which had been harsh and demanding, this kiss was soft and calm. Hermione deepened the kiss as Tom began to respond. His lips parted and he bit down on Hermione's lower lip. She parted her lips in response and his tongue darted in. Hermione sighed and entwined his with hers. She felt his hand slip beneath the back of her shirt and move across her smooth back, sending shivers up her spine. They continued to kiss as his hands moved around to the front to cup her breasts. Hermione gripped his hair a bit tightly as he proceeded to massage them through her bra.

She worked her hands out of his hair and stroked his face gently before running them down his broad shoulders, down his chest, and to his hips. She felt him tense and grinned against his lips. Then… sudden inspiration came to her.

It happened so quickly that she was not sure whether she had thought of it herself or some divine spirit had guided her. Her left hand plunged into Riddle's pocket and grabbed his wand, pulling it out of his pocket. She pulled out of the kiss, rather reluctantly, and jumped off his lap, running towards the door. She did not even check to see whether or not it was unlocked. She blasted it down and ran through it, ignoring Riddle's roar from behind her. She sprinted past Burke at the front counter before he could even comprehend what was happening and out the door into the dark street. With wand in hand, she darted into the nearest alley, hearing footsteps running to catch up with her, and spun on the spot, apparating back to Hogsmeade and familiar faces. She apparated to the front of the Hog's Head and began running back towards Hogwarts, Riddle's wand still in her hand, ignoring shouts of question from other students around her. She ran as fast as her legs could take her and did not stop until she reached the Great Hall, which was already being filled with students excited for the Halloween feast.

--

edited for the love of amy lee. gotta keep my readers pleased. :)