"W-what?" I sputtered out, unwilling to believe what he had just said. "No, no we were supposed to have more time! They said they wouldn't check on us for a year!"
Edward stepped closer to me, now placing his unoccupied hand on my other arm. I shivered at his touch, wishing for the second time in so many minutes that Jacob was here to envelop me in his heat and make me feel safe.
"Bella, I know this must come as a shock to you, but we're all here for you. We already have a plan, you will stay here with us while the Volturi are here and we will put up a charade that we are still together and still planning on changing you after graduation."
My shock quickly turned to anger. I was so over Edward always leaving me out of everything, thinking I couldn't handle it. And here he was doing it again, just making these plans and not even consulting me about it. He seemed to just expect that I would follow along blindly to whatever he thought was best. He was still going on about what we would do when the Volturi got here when I cut him off.
"No,"
Edward looked confused by my interruption, as if the very idea that I didn't want to pretend to be with him was implausible.
"What do you mean no Bella?"
"I mean no, I won't pretend to be with you. I won't do that to Jacob." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I stood there in defiance, silently daring him to challenge me.
For the first time since I had met him Edward seemed at a loss for words. Carlisle spoke up as Edward processed this information.
"Bella, I understand this must be hard for you, but surely you see there is no other way." he said this pleadingly, begging me to see reason.
"It's not the only way!" I protested. "We can fight them!"
"Yeah!" Emmett piped up.
"Bella, we simply do not have the manpower, so to speak, to defeat the Volturi. It just isn't possible." Carlisle said, immediately shooting down my idea.
"Oh come on Carlisle, we can get the dogs to help. We can take them!" Emmett said, back to his boisterous self.
I gasped aloud at this. No, no, no. There was no way I was letting Jacob fight the Volturi. I remembered the way that Jane had made Edward writhe on the floor in agony. It caused me actual physical pain, just thinking about her getting her hands on Jacob. And I would not let Jacob die for my mistakes. I realized that just moments ago I was willing to allow the Cullens to die to fight the Volturi and I was shocked at my own callousness. I would put Jacob above anything and anyone, if it meant that Jacob wouldn't get hurt I was willing to sacrifice anything. But throwing Jacob and the pack into the equation solidified to me what I had to do.
"No, Carlisle is right it's too risky. I don't want anyone to die for me. Let's just go with the original plan."
Edward looked at me perceptively, as if he were staring right into my soul. And I knew that even though he couldn't read my mind that he knew why I had changed my mind so quickly. I saw the hurt briefly flashing across his usually stoic features as I think he realized in that moment just how much I truly loved Jacob.
"When are they going to be here?" I asked.
"Tomorrow,"
Tomorrow? Oh my, God. I had to go see Jacob.
Now.
"I have to go; I'll be back as soon as I can." I said already making my way to the door.
"Bella, you shouldn't-" I heard Edward saying, but it was too late; I was already out the door.
I ran to my truck and pushed it to its very limits as I sped to Jacob's house. I knocked on his door and after a moment of silence I knocked again impatiently.
"Yeah, yeah I'm coming. Chill the fuck out." I heard Jacob's voice through the door. The door swung open to reveal Jacob standing there with only navy blue gym shorts on.
"Oh sorry Bells, I thought you were Quil." He was saying, but I wasn't listening. "But I thought you were at home making dinner?"
My eyes roamed over his bare chest, taking in every bump and ridge, the sight before me making me forget for a second why I had come here. My eyes trailed downward wishing that his already low slung shorts were laying just a little bit lower..
I heard Jacob laugh and my eyes flashed up to his face to see him smirking. "Enjoying the view?"
I shook my head to clear it of the lustful thoughts that had begun clouding it the second Jacob had opened the door.
"Jacob, I have to talk to you."
He immediately looked concerned when I didn't respond to his teasing. Usually I would have some sort of a comeback, but my brain could hardly function right now.
"Can we go to your room?" I asked, seeing Billy sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper.
"Bella what's this about?" he asked, the smile on his face slowly fading. I didn't answer, just grabbing his hand and leading him towards his room. When we got inside I closed the door behind us. I paced his room, worried about how he was going to take this.
"Bella..you're freaking me out. Please tell me nothing's wrong." he said, his voice low.
"I can't,"
"Are you..are you breaking up with me?" he asked barely able to get the words out. He always put on this cocky facade like he was invincible, but deep down he was just as vulnerable as anyone else. He was afraid of losing me, afraid to get hurt.
"No!" I shouted out. "Of course not, nothing like that." Remembering our conversation from earlier his question made me a little angry. Had I not told him that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him? Just how fickle did he think I was?
"Sorry, that was stupid. It's just when you hear the words 'we have to talk' all the worse case scenarios run through your mind."
"No it's okay, I know I'm being weird. I just," I sighed. "I don't know how to say this."
He pulled me close to him, taking him in his arms and unlike when Edward had tried, it relaxed me completely.
"You can tell me anything Bells." he said as he ran his fingers through my hair.
"Um well I was just over at the Cullens." Jacob stiffened against me, ceasing his stroking of my hair. I continued on before I lost my nerve. "And theysaidtheVolturiarecoming." I said quickly, all the words tumbling together.
"What?"
"The Volturi are coming to Forks Jacob. To make sure I'm still going to be turned into a vampire like we told them."
He pulled away from me his face a mix of anger and shock.
"What? Why? Why would you tell them that Bella?"
"Because humans aren't supposed to know about vampires. We had to tell them I was going to be changed or they would have killed me."
Jacob slammed his fist into the wall, putting a hole in the drywall. "Fuck! I told you you shouldn't have gone to Italy, Bella. I told you! Now, what you're going to become a fucking vampire?" he hissed, his whole body trembling. I didn't want to admit it, but he was scaring me.
"Of course I'm not going to become a vampire!" I yelled back.
"So what then?" he asked still trembling, but not as much so.
"We're just going to pretend that that's still the plan until they leave." I hesitated before I said the next part. "We're going to pretend that Edward and I are still together." I backed up, thinking this would increase the trembling and that I should get away from him in case he phased. But the shaking stopped all together and he stood there shoulders slumped.
"Maybe I should just pack it in now huh? Save you the trouble of having to break my heart later. If you pretend to be with him you're going to see what your life could be like with him. You're going to see that he can give you all the things I can't. I can't even afford college, I'll never be able to provide for you. Cullen can already do that."
Now he was just plain pissing me off. Why was he willing to give up on us so easily?
"So that's it then huh? The going gets tough so the Jacob gets going?" I said, shoving him hard even though I knew it wouldn't have any effect on him, physically at least. I saw the hurt flash in his dark eyes at my actions and my harsh accusations, but I kept going. Pushing him, taunting him, daring him to contradict my words.
"I thought you were more of a man than that, Jake. I guess it's my bad though, I keep forgetting that you're just a kid." I spat out.
He recoiled as if I had slapped him. I knew he didn't deserve this from me, but I was an emotional wreck and his lack of support had pushed me to my breaking point.
"Bella, please.." he said reaching out for me but I backed away from his outstretched hand. He withdrew his hand quickly, running it through his hair nervously.
"No, Jacob. You don't think this is hard for me too? You think I want this? That I want to pretend to be with Edward? Have I not proved to you these past few months that I'm completely in love with you and only you?"
Had I? Maybe I still seemed like I was hung up on Edward. Maybe I was a total failure as a girlfriend. Maybe I didn't even deserve Jacob. My anger evaporated just as quickly as it had appeared to make way for my ever present self doubt.
"Am I really that horrible of a girlfriend?" I whispered, the words catching in my throat.
Jacob stared at me wordlessly his eyes wide, trying to process the quick shift in my mood. Tears begun to form in my eyes as the silence got louder.
"Forget it, I have my answer." I turned and ran out of his room, running past a confused Billy.
"Bella what's wrong?" he asked, obviously noticing the tears that were now overflowing.
I didn't answer though, I couldn't.
I barely made it to the treaty line when I had to stop driving. I couldn't see through the tears, and there was an acute pain wracking through my body. I picked up my phone and quickly dialed a number that I still knew off by heart.
"Edward, please come pick me up."
Edward arrived less than 5 minutes later. He opened the door to my truck and upon seeing my disheveled state, picked me up and carried me to his car. Normally I would have protested at being carried like an invalid, but I was too emotionally exhausted to say anything. So I let Edward take care of me.
"I need to go home and get some things and talk to Charlie." I managed to choke out.
Edward nodded and sped off in the direction of my house.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" Edward asked as he parked just down the street from my house.
"No, that's okay. I'll be right back,"
I walked in the door and Charlie hearing me come in walked out from the living room.
"Hey Bella, I didn't know where you went so I finished up with the-" he trailed off as he took in my tear stained face.
"What happened?" he asked in a low menacing voice.
"Jacob and I had a fight," I replied with a sniffle. "I think I'm just going to go stay with mom for a little bit, okay dad?"
"Bella, come on. I just got you back, don't leave so soon."
"Dad.."
"I'll cook more, I'll cut back my hours so I'm around more." he pleaded.
"Charlie, just let me go." I said in a final tone of voice.
He stopped talking and I knew I had hurt him and our relationship, maybe beyond repair. Just when he was starting to forgive me for going to Italy. More tears threatened to spill over as I realized that all I did was hurt people. Charlie, Jacob, Edward.
"I'm gonna go pack. I can get a flight out tonight." I hurried up the stairs into my room, closing the door behind me. I threw myself on my bed and cried. I cried for my pain, for Jacob's pain, for hurting Charlie and I cried for the fear of the unknown.
AN: I'm going away for over a week so if you have questions and I don't answer that's why, but review anyways :) and I'll answer when I get back.