Merry Christmas everyone!

And where have I been? Recovering from uni work. I've had this chapter sitting waiting on completion for about a month so to past the time until I get to open gifts i've decided to just get to working on all my stories for now

Thank you so much for sticking around, reading, adding to your favorites, following and reviewing, it means the most to me. I've got a plan for this next chapter already, it's just me needing to put pen to paper and getting it drafted. For now I hope you enjoy this one and enjoy your holidays :)

That night, sleep was a myth.

At 7am, Isshin was at the door with a solemn look on his face and I was pretty sure that mine matched his.

"We have to go to the-"

"I know!" I half shouted, then got a grip on myself, "I-I know, Hal told me last night, sorry I just-"

"It's okay. Let's go," he said, taking my overnight bag and walking to the car.

I hugged Hal and went after him. With each step I made to the car I felt a ball of...fear building up in me.

I did not want to go.

I did not want to see my father ever again.

Was that a bad thing?

Could life just carry on as if he didn't try to strangle me in my sleep? Or bash my head in?

I took the passengers seat of the land rover and strapped myself in on autopilot.

Who was I kidding? He was my dad, it was only the two of us since mom left but...we were always fine weren't we? I wasn't the best cook or the best cleaner and I always made sure my grades were among the best in the school and maybe I didn't really do much quality time with him but...I did try to make it work didn't I? Why did he blame me? Why wasn't I good enough?

"Nel!"

"H-huh?"

"You alright?" asked the doctor concernedly.

"I-I'm fine, I just zoned out for a bit there Kurosaki-san, nothing serious."

"Well if you're sure, we're here,"

The man that was seated on the other side of the plexi glass mirror looked nothing like my father. He looked...crazy. I was used to him either being drunk/angry/very quiet. He was shouting a lot. As soon as I stepped into the room with the officer he started to shout in German and English. Broken sentences about how I ruined his life. About how he was disappointed that he didn't at least give me amnesia or serious brain damage. That I was the reason why Mama left.

As if I wasn't aware enough of the fact.

I didn't need to sit through a full questioning, his shouts and screams were enough of a confession. They took him away and I just sat there in the chair, staring at my shaking hands.

I felt useless. What was my purpose if not even my parents didn't want me?

"Nel? Come on, you wanna go back to school?"

School. Distraction. That sounded great. That was exactly what I needed right now. I nodded quickly and allowed Isshin to help me up and walk me out the station. Once again, I was on auto-pilot. I barely registered the ride or when he stopped at a bakery to get me a treat. When we got to the gates of the school it was almost the end of lunch.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," he said softly.

I shook my head. "N-no, I want to, I can't afford to miss out anymore classes my teachers will kill me if I fall behind,"

"Nel, you've never been behind in anything educational in all your 16 years of life. Give yourself a break,"

"I'm fine Kurosaki-san, really. If I don't feel up to it I'll text Ichigo or call you okay?" I said, opening the door.

"Stay safe Nel-chan,"

"I will, see you later," I replied, then watched him drive off.

I checked my watch. I had plenty of time before class and I didn't want to stand outside the door waiting on everyone so I could be let in. I didn't feel like going on the roof either, I'd definitely have to answer questions and what I needed was distraction.

Just as I thought it a flash of blue made it's way across the parking lot and stopped at a familiar looking car.

Just the perfect distraction I needed.

Grimmjow was worried about Nel.

He'd sent her a text in the morning, and waited in the parking lot for her, assuming that she'd be coming to school with Halibel, only to be disappointed by seeing the blonde on her own.

"Where's Shorty?" he asked as soon as she was within earshot.

"She's busy today," answered the stoic girl, "now c'mon, we've got briefing before class starts, I wanna go over this plan about tonight with you,"

"What's wrong with her? Is she sick? She said she'd have lunch with me today, Didn't she enjoy last night? Is she avoiding me?"

"Listen Jaggerjaques, she's not ill, she wouldn't shut up about last night when she got back in so no, she's not avoiding you either, she's just got stuff going on that I can't really tell you about. So let it go for now and let's go over this damn plan for tonight because if we-or more specifically you- screw up Aizen is going to kill us,"

"We talk about that after you tell me what's going on with Neliel," growled the boy, getting frustrated with the half assed answers the girl was giving.

"No we will not. I don't like to push my power on you Grimmjow because I consider you to be one of the few I can trust but remember your place. You are the 6th and I am the 3rd and I demand some fucking respect when I want to talk about work. Now quit it with Nel and let's get this over with." Her voice was low and serious, leaving no room for any sort of argument. He nodded and conceded to what she asked, listening to what she was saying. After all, pissing off the Tereca was something not many got away with scot free.

During the first half of school, he couldn't focus and had hardly touched the car he was supposed to be working on. He'd sent another four texts only to have Halibel snap at him about texting Nel-she'd left her phone with Hal so that ruled out getting in touch with her.

At lunch he marched over to the language block and stood at the door waiting for her to come out.

She didn't .

He searched all the classes but she was in none of them and lastly he went up to the roof where Kurosaki and his merry band hung out but she wasn't there either. At the moment he was leaning on the bumper of his car, smoking his 8th cigarette and glaring at anyone that looked at him for more than 5 seconds.

Then suddenly two hands were covering his eyes, leaving him sightless.

"Whoever this is clearly doesn't like their life," he grumbled around the cigarette in his mouth.

"Don't be like that Jaggerjaques, it's a beautiful day, I even brought you some cake,"

He smirked, pulling the hands from his hands and facing the shorter girl.

"Where ya been Shorty? Thought you pulled a Houdini on me today," he said, blowing the last of the smoke from his lungs and stubbing the cigarette.

"I had some stuff to deal with, nothing major," she replied wrinkling her nose. "You reek of that disgusting smoke,"

He shrugged and continued staring at her. She looked tired. Dead tired.

"You okay? You don't seem too good," he said, tilting her chin up to his face.

"I'm fine, this morning was just a drag is all," she said, slapping his hand away. "Your hand stinks Grimmjow, how many of those yucky things have you had today?"

He shrugged again and opened the box. "Dunno, 8-9? There's one left though,"

"You really need to start practicing quitting," she said, disapproval clear in her voice.

"Did you enjoy last night?" he asked, diverting the current conversation topic. She glared at him, knowing exactly what he was doing but humored him anyways.

"It was amazing actually, I didn't know you had a romantic bone in you," she said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"You know, I can think of a few better things you could be doing with that tongue," he said smirking at her.

She blushed, knowing that he was baiting her, expecting her to blush and ignore him but instead she took the bait.

"Oh yea? Like what?"

His eye widened slightly and he stepped into her space, "well we could make out for a good few minutes til the bell goes,"

She shoved him away wrinkling her nose in the cutest way. "Ew no. You reek of cigarette smoke Jaggerjaques, there's no way that that's happening, plus what makes you think I want to kiss you?"

"By the way you've been staring at these ever so luscious lips Shorty, I know that you want to kiss me," he said haughtily. He watched as she whipped out a box out of her bag which did indeed contain cake and start to eat it.

"You're really full of yourself, you know that right?" she said.

He was about to reply to her when the bell rang, signalling that lunch was over, class was to be resumed. She sighed and closed the box.

"I really don't feel like class today," she mumbled with a far off look in her eyes.

And so was he. And damn it he wanted to spend more time with her.

"Get in the car then," he said, opening the driver's side and pulling out his keys.

My eyes widened at what Grimmjow was propositioning.

Skip the rest of the days lessons? Was he insane?

"C'mon Shorty, you don't wanna do this lesson, I wanna spend time with you, what's the big issue?"

"It's-it's just-"

"Ya know ever since I met ya...properly that is, I've never really pegged ya as a coward Shorty"

I turned and glared at him. "Did you just..."

"Call you chicken? Yep." he smirked then proceeded to make chicken like sounds. I huffed and got into the car, not sparing him a second glance.

"There we go, didn't have to lift you and carry you there myself either,"

"You could try, but I have a feeling you much prefer having your family jewels all intact and hanging down low," I griped back at him.

"You're right about that Shorty, but you'd appreciate their many uses I can guarantee you that," he smirked. I blushed at what he said and glanced out the window. He started the car and pulled out the drive, just in time for us to see a head of blonde hair emerge from the garage.

Grimmjow cussed under his breath and gunned down the drive and off the school premises. At the same time his phone vibrated, which he promptly turned off and threw onto the back seat.

"She's going to kill you," I said knowing that it was Hal ringing him.

"I ain't scared of her, just so long as she doesn't know that you're in the car we're good," he grinned.

We ended up along a cliff with a mountain and sea view.

"Where do you find these places Jaggerjaques? I swear you know all the beautiful places in Japan," I breathed.

"I like to come here to think, helps me unwind," he mumbled, pulling out that dreaded box of cigarettes.

I made to snatch them and he dodged, opening the door to the car. "Chill shorty, it's the last one."

I frowned in disapproval and got out as well. A cool breeze hit and the salty smell from the sea hit me, causing me to smile softly. All the problems from today seemed to melt away and I closed my eyes and embraced the feel of the environment around me. Soon enough, the smell of nicotine assaulted my nostrils and I crinkled my nose.

"You're polluting my air Jaggerjaques," I said, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Did you enjoy last night Neliel?"

I opened my eyes and turned to face him fully.

"You asked me this back at school, why does my verification matter so much" I asked testily.

"It matters cuz...I wanna feel like i'm doing right by you, you deserve it" he said frowning and shuffling his feet.

All of a sudden I felt really teary.

"Wow Grimmjow, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. I really did love last night, don't doubt that," I said biting my lip.

"Wanna do it again?"

I bit my lip harder in contemplation. "Well I do need a break from my life right now, it would be a splendid idea Jaggerjaques"

"And why would you need a break from your life right now? What's going on?" he asked, caging me between him and the car. I could have slapped myself for saying that to him, I didn't want him- or anyone- to know about how jacked up my family life is.

"J-just the usual teenage angst. Nothing major," I stammered.

"I can tell when you're lying you know, if you don't wanna tell me Shorty just say and I'll drop it," he said seriously.

"I-I'm sorry I just don't like talking about my issues to people," I said, trying to look anywhere but his eyes.

"We've all got some dirty laundry Shorty, but if you ever need to air it out know I'm here to talk anytime,"

I smiled at him, knowing that this was his try at being supportive. "Thanks Jaggerjaques."

We spent a good few hours out on the cliffside, until it got dark and he deemed it time to take me home. It was the perfect evening, until I remembered that I was supposed to be at school and Ichigo would no doubt be going crazy.

No sooner had I said goodbye to Grimmjow and stepped on the first step to the Kurosaki household, Ichigo had swung the door open and hauled me in.

"Where the hell have you been? I've spent ages looking for you around school!"

"I-I was out with Hal," I replied, saying the first thing that came to plan. If anything Hal would definitely back me up.

"Nice try, She's in the kitchen waiting on you,"

A fudge. I was really in for it now.

"I know you were with him Nel," said Ichigo from behind me.
"If you knew then why did you ask?"

"Because I was hoping that you weren't plus you're the worst liar on earth,"

"You okay Nel?" asked Hal from the kitchen counter.

"Yea, I'm good," I replied assessing my best friend. She stared at me for a while and then nodded. "Right, well I'm off then, I have to get to work,"

I hugged her and watched her leave, knowing she wasn't angry with me. That was a relief. That just left Ichigo to get the stick out of his ass.

"Why do you insist on hanging with that guy?"

"He's nice, we've had this talk before Ichi," I said, avoiding his face.

I hated that Ichi could read me just as well as Hal could 90% of the time.

"Please don't tell me you like like that bastard Nel," he said with a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

"Okay Ichigo, I'll be upstairs if you need me for anything," I said in the lightest tone I could muster, trying to push past him to go to the bedroom but he blocked me.
"You can't possibly be serious Nel, he's dangerous,"

"I'm a big girl Ichigo and I really don't want to talk about guys with you of all people... no offence,"

"Fine, but at least tell me about this morning at the station,"

I gave him a bland look. Really?

"Ichi, I've had a long day, can we talk about this tomorrow? That's the last thing I wanna think or talk about today,"

"Well...if you wanna talk you know I'm here right?"

"Of course I do Ichi, now I'm gonna go take a nap, wake me up for dinner okay?"

He nodded and I made my way up the stairs. I didn't even bother to change out of my clothes, I threw myself on the bed and promptly fell asleep.