A/N: Hello and thanks for the reviews. I can't believe that you really liked this story so much. I haven't had a single bad review yet, and I'm very, very grateful for that. Thanks to all who have reviewed so far! I'll add individual replies at the bottom.
I'm glad to know I've made a few of you cry (that sounds rather sadistic, doesn't it!), as it means that you feel the same way when reading as I do when writing. Please let me know if it happens again! J
Well, here's chapter ten for you. Wouldn't have come this far without you!
Miss Sofie
Chapter Ten – Someone to Come Home to
Nick didn't get furious such as you could've expected him to be. It would've been okay, because I was doing something that I was definitely not supposed to be doing. At least that's what he must have felt. But no. He just asked me to go for a walk with him. To let Mark's parents believe that everything was okay between us, we brought Molly, their dog, with us. I told them they should have a moment alone with Clarisse, and Clara said it was really nice of us. I think she would've asked me to have that moment with them, if it wasn't for Nick. He wasn't part of the family as I was, and so he wasn't welcome at that very moment.
Anyway, Nick and I were walking down the silent streets of Milton Keynes. The snow had made people stay inside at night, and the only sound was the one of Molly sniffing to the yellow snow, and the one that our feet made wherever we would step. I loved the sound of footsteps in soft snow, but that wasn't what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how cold my fingers were, as I hadn't had time taking gloves with me when leaving London.
Neither of us had said anything since we left the house, until Nick took my hand.
"But you're freezing, darling!" He said as if nothing was wrong between us.
"Nick…" I began and stopped. He stopped too, and turned to face me. I sighed. I wasn't sure how to continue.
"Just tell me one thing…" He said and took both of my hands in his. We didn't have Molly in a leash, as she always behaved well, and we were the only ones out at this time of the night. "…Are you in love with him?"
I looked Nick in the eyes and saw stars reflected in them. A feeling overwhelmed me, and I had no doubts it was love. But love could be many things. What I felt for Mark, for instance, was love, too.
"I'm in love with you!" I said and held my breath. Tears rose to my eyes, and for a moment I forgot where I was.
"Thank God!" Nick said and began breathing again. He pulled me near and kissed my tears away.
"I'm so sorry!" I whispered and felt it. "I'm so, so sorry."
"I know." He said and caressed my hair. "I know."
"I just…" I said feeling a pain in my throat that wouldn't go away. "I was so sad! She's gone. And she died in front of my eyes! I couldn't help it. I couldn't help crying. And Mark…"
"I know, Anna." Nick said and gave my lips a soft kiss. "Don't worry about it."
"Thank you." I whispered and held him close to me. "Thank you for forgiving me."
"Anna, I love you! I'd be a fool not to forgive you! Besides, I don't think there's anything to forgive. That kiss was only a result of the two of you being very, very sad. And I understand that. You've lost someone you both loved. What's more natural than seeking comfort in each other?"
"You're the best man I've ever met!" I cried onto his shoulder.
"I don't want to be the best man." He mumbled, barely audible.
"Huh?" I said raising my head a bit.
"Anna, I need to ask you something."
Nick took a little step away from me, and looked at me with a serious expression on his face.
Molly was running around somewhere ahead of us, and she obvously wasn't aware of the fact that we had stopped.
The snow had begun to fall again, and it would've been a very romantic moment, if it wasn't for the fact that I was thinking about Clarisse's last words.
"Anna, will you move in with me?" Nick interrupted my thoughts.
The question was very unexpected, though it wasn't what I had feared it to be.
"Huh?"
"I know you're surprised and I know it's soon, but I'd love for you to move in with me."
"Yeah, I'm surprised." I said and looked for Molly. "Molly, come back here!"
"You don't have to give me an answer now. I mean, with everything that's happened tonight I know you're probably too tired and sad to think about moving, but I had to ask you. I'm sorry for the bad timing. I just…I need you…day and night…!"
He breathed in deeply, and I'm quite sure he was trying to restrain himself. He pulled me near again and kissed my neck.
"God, I love you so much!" He whispered, his breath tickling me and making me want him. I could smell his aftershave, and I'm quite sure he had borrowed Mark's. He smelt so nice!
"I love you too." I replied and couldn't help myself when tasting the tip of his ear.
"No, Anna, don't." He said huskily and withdrew a little. "I can't control myself when you do that."
"Sorry." I said and took his hand instead. "We ought to bring Molly back. She must be cold and tired of waiting for us!"
"Yeah. We ought to."
---
Nick left after breakfast the next morning. Clara asked him to stay with me for the funeral, but he said that Clarisse wouldn't have wanted him there, and so he didn't want to come. Besides, he had to go back to London to do some work.
I said goodbye to him outside with no one but Molly to see and hear us.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay? Just for a couple of days?" I asked holding his hands.
"Yes, I'm sure. I didn't know her, and she didn't like me. It'd be disrespectful of me to show up at her funeral."
"You're probably right." I said and squeezed his hands. "But I'm going to miss you."
"Me too." He said and kissed me. "Will you think about what I said last night?"
"About moving in with you?"
He looked me in the eyes and nodded in reply.
"I'll think about it." I said and smiled at him. "And I'll give you an answer when I get back."
"That'd be great." He said and smiled back at me. "You're so adorable when you smile, you know that?"
"And when I'm not smiling!" I asked trying not to smile, which I failed.
"Still adorable!" He replied and kissed me again. "I have to go, but take care, okay! And tell Mark that I have no hard feelings towards him. I'm not sure he believed me when I said so."
"I will." I replied and let go of him. "Drive safely!"
He nodded again and walked backwards slowly. He didn't want to get in the car, but he had to.
"I love you." He said quietly before opening the door and getting in. I didn't reply. He couldn't hear me anyway, as he closed the door quickly behind him.
---
That day everybody cried a lot. Mark's aunts and uncles and their children came to see Clarisse and say goodbye to her, the doctor was there, of course, and so was the funeral director. There was a lot of things to be discussed, both concerning Clarisse's life and the funeral. I was glad they were the kind of family who wouldn't begin shouting at each other because they couldn't agree. I would've hated that.
I didn't say much, as I felt unwelcome among some of Mark's relatives. I had met some of them before, but others didn't understand what I was doing there. I think I understood. I wasn't family. Well, yes, I was like family to Mark and his parents, but not to the rest of the family.
Some time in the afternoon, when it was beginning to darken outside, Mark got up from his chair and motioned me to do the same. He left the living room and I did the same.
"I need to get some air." He said when I met him in the corridor. "Wanna come?"
"Sure." I said and took my coat from the hook. Mark took down Molly's leash, which she heard from the living room and came running. Mark obviously took too long in putting the on leash, because the dog began barking and jumping around with joy. She kind of lifted my spirits, and Mark's too, I think.
"Yes, that's right, Molly." He said and put on the leash. "We're going for a walk. And afterwards I'll feed you your dinner!"
Molly must've been a very clever dog, or she had heard the word 'dinner' once too many, because she barked even louder as Mark mentioned it. He laughed and took her outside while patting her side. I followed with a somewhat melancholy feeling inside.
Perhaps a dog was what I needed!
"Anna, about last night…I mean, when Grandma…" Mark began, tears appearing in the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I said and put my hand in his pocket. He wasn't using it himself, as he was holding on to the leash.
"You mean that!" He said in surprise. He looked at me and it was like he stopped walking for a split second.
"Of course. You were hurt, and so was I. Nick said it's only natural."
"Nick…" Mark mumbled and walked a little faster. "So he's okay with it?"
"Yeah. He's not even jealous."
"He's not? I would be, if you were…if my girlfriend kissed another guy."
"I thought he would be too, but I told him we were just friends. So he understood."
"That's…good, I guess."
"You still don't like him much, do you?" I changed topics.
"I'm sorry, Anna, but…I don't think he's your type. And I don't want you to be with the wrong guy!"
"I'm not. Mark, I'm with the most perfect guy you could ever imagine. How can that be wrong?"
"I don't know." Mark mumbled. "I just know that he either cares a lot about you or the opposite, if he's not the slightest bit mad at you."
"He cares a lot." I stated and said no further, though Mark's last sentence had made me feel a little insecure.
We kept silent for the rest of the walk.
---
The funeral went as funerals do. Mark held a speech, which made tears stream down people's faces, especially mine. All the while he talked, he had a deep frown on his face. Seeing him fighting the tears when he was so sad, made my heart ache even more. In the end he wasn't able to hold them back, and that was when his mother began crying loudly. I squeezed her hand, as I was sitting next to her on the bench. Both Mark and his parents had wanted it so. The squeezing only made her cry louder, and my sopping grew worse as well.
Somewhere in the middle of the church I knew Juliet and Peter were sitting. They had driven up here to support Mark at the funeral, though they had never known his grandma. I knew Juliet would be crying too, and for some reason I couldn't help thinking that Mark would want to comfort her now and not be able to do so. My heart bled for him. That had to be so tough!
As he came down to sit with us again, his face was strained with tears, and new ones kept falling. I felt one falling on my hand as he took it in his. He didn't say anything, but he held my hand so tightly that I had no chance of letting go. I'm not sure he was aware of what he was doing. If he had been, he probably wouldn't have held my hand so tight. He would never do anything to hurt me on purpose, I know that.
Outside the church everyone came to pay the family their respects. I stayed with Juliet and Peter, and as we reached Mark, Juliet gave him a big hug. Peter did too, though the two of them never hugged. I felt Mark moving a bit back as I wanted to give him a hug, and he only let me give him a small and awkward one. I sort of understood. The last time we had hugged I had put my arms around him and kissed him. He didn't want that to happen again, and that was fine with me. But somewhere inside of me I think I was a little hurt. I wanted our friendship to stay the same, though we had kissed. We had agreed that we had just been sad and needed comfort, so why was he afraid I'd do it again?
Well, there was no chance I'd get an answer at the funeral, and so I went with Juliet and Peter. Afterall, my friendship with Mark wasn't what the funeral was about. I could put it aside for at least one day, couldn't I!
---
Mark and I drove home on the following day. We borrowed Clara's car. She rarely drove it anyway. Peter and Juliet had left right after the funeral.
Mark was very quiet all the way back, and I tried to cheer him up by singing all his favourite tunes very much off key. It's amazing that it made him smile instead of telling me to shut up, but in the end he couldn't help laughing. I think it was my parody of Blue's Guilty that did the trick. I do not have a great singing voice, so can you imagine me hitting the high notes of that song? No? Me neither!
"You should be on "Idols"!" Mark said and switched on the radio. "Then the whole country could hear you!"
"Hey! Why are you switching on the radio? That's very impolite when I'm trying to sing, You!" I scolded and turned up the volume. My mood was so much better than it had been the past few days, and I think Mark's was too.
"You know, Anna, there's something I've been wanting to ask you…" He said and turned down the music.
"There is? What is it?" I asked curious like a child.
"Mr. Reynolds…"
"Who?" I interrupted impatiently.
"Mr. Reynolds who hires out the apartment I live in…"
"Ah…that Mr. Reynolds!" I interrupted again.
"Do we know other Mr. Reynolds's!" Mark asked sarcastically.
"I don't. Do you?" I asked as innocent as possible, trying not to let a smile escape my mouth.
"Anna, cut it out!" Mark sounded annoyed, but it was easy to tell from the smile on his face that he was not.
"Okay." I said and waited for him to go on, looking at him till he looked back at me.
"Stop staring at me like that! I can't drive when you do so!"
"Sorry." I said and turned serious. "So what is it about Mr. Reynolds?"
"He wants to use the apartment for his daughter and her girlfriend…"
"Girlfriend?"
"Yes. Girlfriend. Can I continue now?"
"Sorry."
"I'll have to be out in less than a month."
"What? Can he do that?"
"Yes, I'm afraid he can. He told me last Tuesday, and I had a month from then."
"What are you going to do?"
"I've found this really great penthouse apartment. It's big and light and you can see most of London from it's windows. It's got windows in three directions."
"That sounds really great! Can you afford it?"
"Well, that's where you come in handy…How would you like it if we shared?" His face had lightened up a lot, and I hadn't seem him so energized for a long time. "It's big enough for a family, and since we're not, it's more than enough for the two of us. There's only one bathroom and one kitchen, but we know each other well enough to…"
"Mark!" I interrupted. "I can't."
The light died in his face as quickly as it had come. I hated to disappoint him, but how could I share an apartment with him now?
"But Anna, it'll be perfect. The view is really great, and…" He stopped midsentence, as he looked at me.
"I'm sorry, Mark, but Nick's already asked me the same question. It'd look wrong. If you had only asked six months ago…but now…I can't. I'm sorry."
I felt a lump in my throat as I looked at Mark. No doubt he was disappointed. If he didn't find someone else, he would have to let the apartment go. I felt so bad, but I couldn't do it to Nick. I just couldn't."
"Don't be sorry." He muttered and concentrated on driving. I could've sworn that his eyes looked wet. "I was just so hooked on the idea, but I understand. If your boyfriend asked you first…"
"I'm sorry." I said quietly and meant it.
"Yeah." He said and turned up the radio again. I think it was supposed to hide his snuffle, but it didn't.
---
When I got home the smell of chocolate met me in the entrance. I called for Nick, but no one answered. I kept on my coat and shoes and went to the kitchen. Nick was standing by the table with his back towards me, and he hadn't heard me coming.
"This smells nice!" I said and put down my purse. Nick turned around immediately and smiled widely at me.
"Not as nice as you do." He said and put his arms around me. "Want some hot chocolate with cream?"
"That'd be nice." I said and felt happy to have someone to come home to.
"I've got something for you." He said and let go of me to go get something from the living room. He came back with a big bouquet of red roses and white lilies, and it made me stand in silence, not knowing what to say.
"I know it's just flowers, but I didn't know what to do to cheer you up. I'm sorry about Clarisse, and I want you to know that I'm here for you."
I still couldn't say anything. He had made me hot chocolate. And what I needed right now was hot chocolate. And someone to comfort me. How could he know?
"Nick." I finally said with a serious expression on my face.
"Is anything wrong?" He asked laying aside the flowers. "Should I have stayed out of your apartment? I'm sorry if…"
"No, it's not that…Nick…I want to move in with you!"
"If I shouldn't…What?" He interrupted himself. "You do? Really? That's great! That's really great!" He said and put his arms around me. "I'll buy you flowers every day if that's what it takes!"
"It's not." I smiled and kissed him. "It was the hot chocolate that convinced me."
Nick smiled and kissed me back.
A/N: The song Guilty is by Blue and is not of my proporty. Idols is not of my invention either. I don't even know who started it, but probably an American TV-station. All credits go to the people behind the show, not me. Oh, and if it's called something else in England, then I'm sorry. I don't live there. Have never been there either!
So, what'd you say? Should Anna move in with Nick or Mark? Or none at all? I can still change her decision, as I haven't written the next chapter yet. I've only got notes for it. Well, for some of it, anyway. As I said, things can still be rearranged!
Anyway, please let me know your opinion. I'm sorry for this being such a short chapter, but it seemed the right place to end it. AND it means that I'm updating a bit sooner this time!
Okay, so to the individual replies:
Dawnie-7: Yeah, I know. I like sad. Sad is good! No, I'm not serious. But a story without sadness is not a real story to me. AND…it's getting worse, so prepare yourself for some serious sadness! Especially at the end of the story. But that's all I'm gonna reveal to you right now. Thanks a trillion times as always. You rock!
Spooky Bibi: No offence taken! I know you didn't mean to sound harsh, and you didn't, so don't worry about it! I'm glad you liked the chapter. I hope I'll surprise you. We're closer to the end than we were at the beginning (well, duh!), but I don't think we're too close to the end yet, so a lot can happen. I've planned quite a few other things out for the people in this story to go through, so I hope you haven't guessed all that happens yet! Thanks for the great review!
Cornishxxxpixie: I love cliff hangers, don't you! They make people want more! I'll try to update more frequent, but I can't promise anything. I've been at home for almost two weeks now, and when do I write a new chapter? On Sunday night, of course! That's so me. Hope you'll stick with me in spite of the long time I take to update! Thanks a hundred times for the reviews!