So in this chapter we finally find out who really brought the girls to this time period and why Alexia wants to play the field. There's also some pretty funny snippets I think of every time I watch this movie. And not to mention Jack being inappropriate in a room filled with people. Funny as hell. Sorry for taking so long. I've had to focus alot of my attention on my PreCal class which I might be failing.
Don't own anything to do with Pirates except for a Jack Sparrow night light that my friend Megan got me for Christmas.
Stan the Man stood at attention in front of a long wooden table where Tia had already started yelling at him in some Creole language. Alexia turned to join her sister from where she was slowly edging toward the end of the table. There lay Barbossa's motionless body, face down on the wood.
"Touch him Xio, I dare you!" Alexia encouraged but feared the body would turn over and there would be a black hole where the face ought to be. Xio shivered.
"Nuh uh! I've seen those zombie movies and what lesson did I learn? Ya never touch the dead body, ever!" She protested leading Alexia down the table to where Tia and Stan stood.
"Alexia, Xio. Please come closer. This be a private talk. I would not want Jack and his friends to hear." Tia beckoned the girls to Stan's pile of tools.
"Oh don't worry about it. They'll stay put in your other room." Alexia reassured Tia while handing Stan the wet remote. He popped off the face of the remote and almost cried when he saw the state it was in. He got straight to work on replaced all the water damaged parts.
"And why is tat?" Tia asked moving aside some crazy looking coins, a pair of rabbit's feet, more shell and bead necklaces, and a heart shaped locket. Alexia eyed the locket greedily.
"Cause they're just my boy toys." Alexia clarified reaching for locket while Xio examined some of the coins. Xio snapped her head up from her inspections.
"They?" She asked in a tone that edged toward confused interest. Alexia nodded as she ran her thumb over the crab locket face. She had to wait for the roar of Stan's hand held welder to die down before she continued the conversation.
"Yeah. I kinda might be using Will to make Jack suffer a little." She admitted quietly while picking nervously at her nails. She was hoping Xio hadn't heard her but she had. Xio gave her sister a double edged look.
"You are so going to hell for this, just so you know." Xio said shaking her head tutting at her sister with a half smile. Alexia crossed her arms not amused at her sister's sarcastic humor.
"What? It's not my fault their both ridiculous beyond limitation. Which means having a relationship with either one of them is totally out of the question. So I'll just have to see how everything plays out." Alexia reasoned smiling sinisterly sinking into a near by chair. She propped her elbows up on the table and rested her chin in her hands. Xio came and sat beside her sister, to give her an estranged look.
"What do you think?" Alexia asked swiveling her head to face Xio.
"Well, I think its mighty high of you to keep both of them on a short leash for your pleasure. Hopefully they can survive your flirtatious temper." Xio said sarcastically giving her sister a stern look. She raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean survive?" Alexia asked with a slight edge to her voice.
"Oh nothin'. You just get a little mean when you like someone. So be careful with those tricks you're playing. " Xio said with a shrugged of her shoulders.
"Thanks for your input Agony Aunt." Xio gave Alexia, who was rolling her eyes, an encouraging smile just as Tia threw down a heavy burlap sack. Both girls looked up at Tia with old school gangster stares.
"What's in the bag?" Xio asked but was shocked into silence when Tia uncovered a crystal ball the size of a basketball. Alexia's jaw dropped as Xio looked from the crystal ball to Tia beyond confused.
"That's one giant ball." Xio said before she could catch herself. Alexia laughed so hard she started snorting and crying all at the same time.
"I knew it! I didn't think you would but you did!" She choked using the wooden table to keep her chair steady as she shook with laughter.
"What's goin on back there? Are ya'll talking to me?" Jack shouted from the other room but Alexia had progressed into silent laughter so she couldn't shout back a snippy comment, so Xio took up her job.
"We were talking about you not to you!" Xio yelled shaking Alexia by the shoulder making her take a few gasping breathes before she passed out from lack of oxygen.
"But you have pretty eyes so it's okay!" Alexia hollered back still laughing lightly.
"So... what's with the crystal ball? You don't seem the type for fake fortune telling involving a turban and many weathered shawls." She inquired facing Tia with calm coolness after her laugh fiasco. Xio rolled her eyes.
"Ta show ya 'ow the future ends." Tia said waving a hand over the crystal ball. The smoky interior changed producing a movie snippet. It showed James dieing, then fast forward to Will standing at the helm of The Flying Dutchman sailing towards Elizabeth, and Jack sitting on a little dinky with Barbossa sailing away in the Pearl. Xio yawned.
"Seen it. Is there anything else on?" She asked condescendingly holding her fist up for a knuckle touch. Alexia reluctantly obliged.
"It can not end like you 'ave seen. I brought you to this time because the future is not the way that it should be." Tia said persistently pulling out her scrying and cupped them in her hands. She blew on her lucky dice and threw them down on her table. Xio and Alexia tilted their heads trying to see a shape in the claws and shells.
"I kinda see a Q or something." Xio guessed.
"Really? I see a baby lamb riding a red 86' Harley jumping over a flaming pit with an Evil Knievel helmet and matching gloves." Alexia said nodding her head in deep thought. Xio gave her a look making her throw up her hands in the classic "what?" pose.
"Da fates have changed, destinies altered. You girls must make sure the future follows its new course." Tia said covering the crystal ball back up and moving it to a shelf out of the way.
"So how are we supposed to know what the new course is?" Alexia asked. Tia tapped a finger on her chin.
"Good question." She thought aloud. Suddenly an "Aha!" echoed through the room. The women turned to see Stan hunched over the wooden table with the remote cradled in his hands.
"It lives. My creation! It lives!" He shouted holding the remote up toward the heavens. Alexia cheered running forward to snatch the remote out of Stan's grip.
"Now we can go back and save the clock tower!" She shouted.
"Come now. She should go back ta yer friends." Tia gestured for the girls to follow her.
"Remember Alexia. Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me." Stan sang with one hand on his hip and the other waving the girls out of the room with a flamboyant flare. Xio and Alexia shared a disturbed a look.
"Is he…? Xio wanted to ask but couldn't put the words together. Alexia shook her head in uncertainty and tugged Xio forward into the adjacent room.
"You." Tia Dalma approached Will, her long tattered dress making her progress slow. She pointed straight at Will.
"You have a touch a' destiny about you. William. Turner." Will looked confused as to why this woman knew his name.
"You know me?" Will asked with an unintelligent look on his face. Alexia raised her eyebrows at Xio in a mocking fashion.
"You want to know me." Tia asked seductively leaning in closer to Will. Jack, to his astonishment, was the one who intervened between the two.
"They'll be no knowing here." He assured the both of them. Alexia crossed her arms and glared at Will. He dropped his eyes to the floor.
"We've come for help and we're not leaving without it." As Jack led Tia away from Will he snuck a glance at Alexia. She didn't even look remotely pissed that another woman had just thrusting herself upon the poor eunuch.
"I thought I knew you." Jack asked absentmindedly.
"Not so well as I'd hoped." Tia said dejectedly heading to the back of her hut.
"Come." She shouted waving Jack and Will over to her scrying table. Xio and Alexia were already seated at the table whispering to each other about Tia's choice of creepy bat center pieces and other things. Even seeing the movie on their X-Box 360 couldn't capture the pure supernatural feel of Tia's Hut and all the odd curios hanging about.
"That's just wrong." Xio whispered poking tentatively at the stiff wings.
"Come." Jack motioned Will over and Tia pushed him down in between hers and Xio's chairs. Alexia then took the seat next across from Xio, leaving one other chair empty. Daisy automatically came up to Xio and nosed her hand for a treat, she patted the goats' wide head. Jack moved to take the seat between Tia and Alexia when she crossed her legs over the chair so he couldn't sit down.
"Luv… please let me sit down." Jack said in a tone that was more demanding than asking.
"Even though you did use the P word you still have your negotiations to conduct. Soorrweee." Alexia smirked sticking out her tongue at Jack.
"What service may I do ya for?" Tia asked caressing Will's face, Alexia mouth "I hate you" to Xio.
"You know I demand payment!" Tia growled forcefully at Jack, rotating her head in his general direction.
"I brought payment." Jack whistled and gestured for Gibbs to bring forward a covered cage. He ripped off the veil like a professional magician to reveal the monkey inside.
"Look!" Jack yelled with the enthusiasm of a five year old with a new Harry Potter light up wand he found in his cereal box. He then cocked his pistol and shot the unsuspecting monkey. It screeched loudly but did not keel over and die.
"An undead monkey. Top that!" He said slamming the cage onto the table and smiling triumphantly. He then pulled out the chair next to Alexia causing her legs to drop. He smiled when she narrowed her eyes at his actions. Tia looked over the cage before opening the latch and letting the undead monkey out.
"NO!" Gibbs shouted reaching out in pain.
"You've no idea how long it took us to catch that." Gibbs whined.
"What do you care? I was me and Xio who caught the damn thing." Alexia scoffed remember sitting on the railing with that same cage, eating some mangoes.
"So I wonder how we're going to catch this monkey." Xio commented peeling the skin off her second mango. Alexia opted for a banana.
"Dunno." Alexia shrugged her shoulders, breaking off the tip of her banana and throwing it into the cage beside her. That's when Jack the monkey came screeching down from the rigging to munch happily of said banana. Alexia and Xio shared a look.
"Easy peeise lemon squeezy." Alexia sang, shrugging her shoulders at the flashback.
"Pumpkin pie mother fuckers!" Xio yelled slamming her hands on the table. Everyone stared at her.
"Dude." Alexia sighed shaking her head at Xio's inappropriate outburst.
"The payment is fair." Tia confirmed seating herself next to Will again. Once Jack was sure Tia's concentration was now focused on Will he pulled out the chair Alexia had her feet propped up on causing them to fall to the floor. She gave him a dirty look before turning to allow him to sit.
"Hello luv. I've missed you." Jack whispered leaning in close to Alexia. She sighed while massaging the bridge of her nose in annoyance.
"We're looking for this." Will said bringing everyone back on track. He laid out the cloth drawing of a key. Tia examined the picture and then practically broke her neck when she turned to stare at Jack.
"The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?" She asked very confused since she knew that compass could find the thing you wanted most in the world. Jack straightened up in his chair as Tia addressed him.
"Maybe. Why?" He asked trying to defect the attention Tia's question had brought him. Alexia and Xio shared a look before turning to gaze at Jack with sinful grins all around.
"Aaahh…Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants!" Tia said in an amazed tone, Alexia snickered behind her hand. Jack glared at the Alexia, who was looking around innocently with a big smile on her face.
"Or do you know but are loath to claim it as your own?" Tia asked eyeing Alexia who was trying not to blush. Will tilted his head at Tia's scrutiny.
"Your key go to a chest. And it is what lay inside the chest you seek. Don't it?" Tia asked throwing the information onto the table with a flick of her wrist.
"What is inside?" Gibbs asked, he was such a Material Girl.
"Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature?" Pintel guessed almost drooling at the mouth like a dog being tempted with a honey baked ham. Alexia rolled her eyes at Jack's treasure obsessed crew when she felt a hand running up her thigh. She raised an eyebrow across the table at Xio until her sister had a sneaking suspicion Jack was up to something. Alexia then slowly turned her head toward Jack with a fierce look that told him to stop before she became violent. He ignored that vicious look and continued his ventures.
"Nothing bad, I hope." Ragetti commented quietly starting a jar of human eye balls handing by his head. Xio kicked Jack's leg under the table. Will sat merrily not noticed Jack feeling up his girl.
"You know of Davy Jones, yes?" When the crew nodded Tia continued. "A man of the sea. A great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vex all men."
"What vexes all men?" Will asked thoughtlessly. Tia leaned even farther into Will's personal bubble, teasingly touching his hand. Alexia curled and uncurled her fists as Jack traced small circles on her lower back, until she got fed up enough to slap his hands away. He in turn slapped her hands and a full on smack fight broke out underneath the table.
"What indeed." She grinned naughtily at Will with her blacked teeth. Gibbs looked a little puzzled.
"The Sea?"
"Sums." Pintel guessed.
"The dichotomy of good and evil?" Ragetti asked earning him a look from everyone in the room. Alexia took this opportunely to punch Jack hard in the shoulder. He yelped and removed his hands from her personal bubble immediately.
"A woman!" Jack cried, wincing as he grabbing his shoulder and massaging it gently. Alexia smiled triumphantly at Xio who winked across the table at her sister.
"A woman. He fell in love."
"This is neither the time nor the place for that kind of foolishness Jack." Alexia whispered sickly sweet in his ear. Will raised an eyebrow at her behavior and she bit her lip.
"No no no no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with." Gibbs argued.
"Same story, different version and all are true!" Tia growled irritably at Gibbs for interrupting her tale. "See it was a woman as changing, and harsh and untamableas the sea. He never stopped loving. But the pain it caused him was too much to live with. But not enough to cause him to die.
"Sounds like someone I know." Will muttered under his breath looking towards Alexia who was currently playing with a crab shaped locket.
"So what exactly did he put in the chest?" Alexia asked even though she knew what the answer would be.
"Him heart" Tia said putting a hand upon her beast. Xio tried to stop Daisy from eating Tia's table cloth while Jack nudged Alexia with his elbow.
"Literally or figuratively?" Ragetti asked in a tone that suggested that he would believe either answer.
"He couldn't literally put 'is heart in a chest. Could he?" Pintel asked with a raised eyebrow looking for reassurance. Xio shook her head while petting Daisy's head in an evil way.
"It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings." Alexia recited from memory in her Tia voice. She was good at altering her voice to match other peoples.
"And so," Tia continued looking slightly off put by Alexia's impersonation of her, "him carved out him heart, lock it down in a chest, and hide the chest from the world. The key he keep with him at all times."
"You knew this." Will turned his accusatory eyes to Jack.
"I did not." Jack lied. Xio snorted loudly drawing more looks.
"Yeah, he didn't know where the key was. The rest though…" Xio snickered while patting Will on the back, hard.
"So, all that's left is to climb aboard the Flying Dutchman, grab the key, you go back to Port Royal and save your bonnie lass, eh!" Jack jumped quickly from his chair and head for the door, pulling Alexia with him.
"No touch." She threw off his hand gripping her arm and went to stand next to Will's chair. Tia pushed back her chair roughly and stood with her hand out.
"Let me see your hand!" She shouted as Jack's hand reached for the door handle. He cringed before turned back around dejectedly. He wanted to offer his unmarked right hand but knew better and gave Tia the one Alexia had wrapped. Tia undid the makeshift bandages and gave everyone a look at the black spot on Jack's palm.
"The black spot!" Gibbs gasped dusting himself off, spinning around, and spitting on the ground after he's made his circle.
"Black spot!" Pintel and Ragetti shouted mimicking Gibbs' ritual. Xio and Alexia shared a look.
"Chalk another one up for the idiots of the world." Alexia sighed licking the tip of her finger and making another tick mark in the air.
"My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know." Jack pointed out. Tia turned on a heel and moseyed over to her back room again. They could all hear her rummaging around talking to herself. Will and Alexia stood beside each other bending forward to see what Tia was doing behind the beaded curtain. Meanwhile Jack was leaning over a near by table contemplating stealing another of Tia's trinkets. Xio slapped his hand.
"Leave her stuff alone. Do you have to be such a…pirate." She complained moving back to her chair to sit. Jack looked a little lost as Tia return with a large jar in her arms.
"Davy Jones cannot make port. Cannot step on land but once every ten years. Land is where you will be safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you." Tia offered Jack the jar. He took the jar slowly and raised an eyebrow at Tia.
"Dirt. This is a jar of dirt." Jack said in a deliberate manner. Tia nodded.
"Yes." She replied in the same tone. Alexia's giggles started up, she had to bury her head in Will's chest to keep quiet.
"Is the…jar of dirt going to help?" Jack asked, Alexia's giggles got louder.
"If you don't want it, give it back." Tia growled holding out her hands for the jar.
"No!" Jack said in his classic five year old voice, clutching the jar of dirt close to his chest like a security blanket. His possessive behavior made it hard for him to give up anything, useless or not, once it was his it was his.
"Then it helps." Jack glance around the room and flinched when Gibbs got to close to his jar. Alexia wiped a tear from her eye.
"It seems we have a need to find the Flying Dutchman." She noted looked over Tia's shoulder as she sat down and picked up her scrying items.
"A touch…" Tia cupped the random bits and pieces tightly in her hand before dropping them on a table. "of destiny."
Read and Review please. Oh and Merry Whatever-you-celebrate and Jesus' Birthday! (Trying to be politically correct)And a Happy New Year!