Meet a new cast! And, err, you may wanna beware of slightly mature-ish themes.

Chapter X: Jedediah

On a Hylian Farm

Farmer southern accented: Ah, what a wonderful day to milk my horses!

Farmer's Wife southern accented: You don't milk horses, dingbat!

Farmer: Well, you don't have to be so "up-in-the-face" about it!

The farmer's wife socks him in the nose.

With Py

Py: Hmm, I sense a disturbance…

Farmer hidden: What kind of disturbance?

Py: Eek! Who are you?

Farmer: Why, my name is Jedediah! I'm just hiding from my wife inside this dryer… You don't mind, do you?

Py: Oh, I'm Py… And regardless of why you're in it, get out of the dryer! I still have to finish washing the clothes for the Princess of Destiny so I can leave.

Jedediah glaring: So you can leave…? Oh, you must be from Termina, huh? I hate that place.

Py rudely: Actually, I'm from a different world altogether, called "Earth;" you wouldn't know it. Don't even try to comprehend, 'cause it'll just hurt your simple brain.

Jedediah embarrassed: Well, sorry for causing you any trouble. I'll just go back to face my wife's temper now.

Jed sighs just as Drew enters the room again.

Drew: Hey, Py- Yikes, who's that? (Did you get a new partner…?)

Py: No, I didn't; but meet Jedediah. Anyways, what are you doing here? Waddaya want?

Drew: Well, I finished cleaning the restrooms with the help of Granny (she only needed a little convincing), and now I need some more work.

Py: … You're crazy to be asking for work, you know that? Besides, how did you convince your grandmother? I mean, she's really a bit-

Drew: I just needed to say "Your boyfriend would've wanted you to help me, you know."

Py: You are a rascal.

Jedediah: Well, um, I'll be off now.

Py: Hold on there, Jed, I just thought of a job for you! And you'll be hiding from your wife at the same time…

Jedediah: Oh, jolly good idea! What do I start doing?

Drew: I'll mow the lawn.

Drew suddenly hears Zelda calling for him, and leaves, asking Jed and Py to start the lawnmower for him to save some time.

Jedediah: So, how do ya'll use this newfangled contraption?

Py: Here, I'll show you.

He starts the lawnmower incorrectly, and it explodes, bursting violently into flames.

Py: Don't you say a word to no-one.

Drew: So, how's the lawnmower going? Did you two get it started?

Jedediah: Well, Drew, Py here…

Py gives Jed the evil eye.

Drew: Go on, Jed.

Jedediah: Um, Py thought the lawnmower might be broken.

Py keeps giving Jed the evil eye.

Jedediah: Uh, that is, someone else who used it before us probably did it earlier. Way earlier. You know, when-

Py: You know, Jed, maybe you could do the next chore… like vacuum her huge carpet.

Jedediah: But why can't I do the laundry?

Py: Because it's finished!

Drew: Yeah, Jed… (You finally finished your load, Py?)

Py: Just go already! (No, but don't tell him that.)

Jedediah leaves the place, and Drew and Py converse.

Drew: How are you still not done?

Py: Hey, it takes a long time to look in each pocket to make sure there aren't extra rupees in them! I mean, if you think it's so easy, you can do it!

Drew: Oh, sweet.

Py: No, you won't get to sniff the panties.

Awkward… No?

Drew: Aw…

With Jedediah

Jedediah: Ooh… So this here's a vacuum, huh? Well, I'll be! I've never seen a cock-a-doodle of that sort before! I flip this here switch to get the contraption to start sucking, right?

Imaginary Drew: Right. Well, you'd better get to work.

The imaginary Drew leaves the room.

Jedediah: Well, alright then! I'll just flip this switch that you-he-she-whatever said… Heehaw! This thing's buckier than a bucking bronco with buck-teeth! Hyuck, hyuck!

Suddenly the vacuum cleaner rears back and Jedediah gets sucked inside magically.

Jedediah: Hello? Hello! Hello?! Well, I'll be a son of a gun! This place is darker than a black bronco with dark teeth! Hyuck, hyuck…

Py suddenly comes near the room with the carpet.

Py faintly: There – I'm all done with the laundry!

Jedediah gullibly: What? But I thought he finished already… Oh, I guess he must have forgotten a pile.

Jedediah starts screaming for help, but Py does not hear him.

Py: Hmm, what is that weird muffled sound?

He looks around, but sees nothing of interest save the unmanned vacuum cleaner.

Py: They have these things in Hyrule? Well, you learn something everyday… (I wonder where that lazy Jed went off to; no wonder his wife's angry. Eh, I'll go check on Drew.)

Py leaves, and Jedediah grumbles within.

Jedediah: It's so dark and scary… Ugh, I'd rather face my wife now! Hyuck, hyuck!

Later with Drew

Drew approaches the vacuum cleaner, completely oblivious to what is going on inside.

Drew: Oh, a vacuum… I guess I should do this job since I'm done with mowing.

Drew turns on the vacuum and begins cleaning everything.

Drew: I wonder how this wasp nest got here… I think I'll clean it up.

Jedediah muffled: AAAUUUGH! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…! Jeez, make it stop!

Drew: What's that sound? It sounds a lot like Jed…

Jedediah muffled: It is me!

Drew: Huh? Jed?

Jedediah muffled: I'm stuck inside this doohickey!

Drew: What, the vacuum cleaner? Oh, so that's why you weren't cleaning the carpet…

Py enters the room, amused at Drew "talking to himself."

Py: Um, Drew? You done with mowing the lawn yet?

Drew: Yeah. Oh, and Jed's stuck inside this vacuum cleaner.

Py: Uh, Drew… Have you been seeing The Outer Limits again?

Drew: Well, maybe. If I knew what it was.

Py: Okay, just stop imagining Jed being inside the vacuum cleaner. Alright?

Drew: Oh, fine.

Jedediah muffled: But I am here!

Py sarcastically: Ooh, that's funny, Drew. Now get to work.

Jedediah muffled: What! I'm stuck inside this infernal contraption! Get me out!

Py baffled: Huh… That's some nice mocking of Jed, Drew. But I'm serious, work! Meanwhile, I'll be asking Zelda for another job.

Jedediah muffled: And ask the princess to get me out, please! Hyuck, hyuck!

Py warningly: Drew-

Drew: It wasn't me!

Py angrily: Get to work!

That was fun. Onto the next chapter, chaps! Hyuck, hyuck.