Title: Expressions
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Don't own SM and/or HP.
Sirius/Serena. Romance.
Here's another Sirius/Serena one-shot based off of Frying Pan of DOOM's idea. This was created earlier than the last one-shot, but I forgot it at home. I didn't want to wait a day before uploading it, so here it is! This was supposed to be an angst, with a one-sided unrequited love, but it ended on a lighter note. Anyway, I'm not sure if the next one-shot will be Sirius or Lucius now. It might even be Severus – I have no idea. I haven't thought up that far, and I should be writing Needed!
But... one-shots are easier to create, I noticed.
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She
loved his expressions.
The way his eyes would light up when he directed his gaze to one of his friends. How the side of his eyes would crinkle just a tad when he was confused, concerned, or troubled.
The way that his mouth would curve up into a small smile. Or when he would openly laugh or grin.
The way his eyes would twinkle with merriment after a joke he played alongside his best friends - the Marauders.
She loved the way his face would war with emotions when he was torn between keeping up a solemn air in front of Professor McGonagall or breaking down and laughing.
His face was filled with so many expressions that she could watch him 24/7.
However, she knew that she couldn't watch him all the time - not really. Sirius Black is commonly known to be a lady's man and a prankster. It would be a miracle for him to settle down with any one woman.
So she remained content to simply watch him from afar, or as close as she could physically get in his presence.
She never spoke to him, and she doubted he would ever notice her. But that began to change one day when they were partnered up for Astronomy class. It was the one class that she could say with certainty that she did well in - everything else was plain awful.
The time she spent with him in Astronomy class was relieving once she got pass her blushing exterior. She noticed and took note of his expressions and antics - how he would swipe back his hair when it fell over his face and got in the way. When he did this simple gesture, she noticed that his eyes would flutter close, a look of relief and satisfaction coiled into one.
She briefly wondered every time, if his face would look like this when he fell asleep.
The next time she got paired up with him had been for Herbology class. She had difficulty remembering all of the names, but Sirius was surprisingly gentle and patient with her. And she noted, once again, his expressions and gestures. The way his voice would softly address her by her first name - Serena - and would instruct her on the aspects of the plant and how to handle it. She came to know the soft tender side of Sirius Black - his soft gray eyes as they looked at her, his tone not loud or rambunctious, but careful and kind.
And she would wonder, if he acted this way to each lady-love he happened to be entertaining when he spent his time with her.
She never got paired up with Sirius throughout the rest of her school year at Hogwarts, but she still saw him, still noticed him, and still noted every expression he made. She loved each and every one. And noticed that they seemed to vary depending on the situation.
If the joke was particularly lame, but still funny, he would grin and give a short bark-like laugh.
If the prank that the Marauders played were successful, especially if it was aimed at the Slytherins, his mouth would stretch out wide and he would laugh with abandon. His gray eyes twinkling like the star he was named after. He looked - alive.
She loved it best when he was happy. But that stopped happening when the war became progressively worse.
A frown was quick to come when he looked down at the Daily Prophet, the headlines detailing more deaths. His eyes would briefly darken before he cast the paper aside, and resumed eating his meal.
She didn't like these expressions, it made her worry for him, even if the paper had nothing to do with Sirius Black.
And she now frowned just a bit every time she noticed how his eyes would sparkle less after a practical joke. How his grins would appear a bit more fake, strained. How his gestures and sincere words were more forced, his face more gaunt.
And she wondered, every time, if the old Sirius Black would ever reappear again. It pained her to view this side of the infamous lady's man and prankster.
Thus she vowed to make his life just a little more enlightening, a little more bearable.
In the mornings, she would greet him with a smile and a wave. It was small, yes, but she had noticed that he would always return those greetings.
At random times of the day, she would leave notes in his bag or on the tables that he would normally sit at. Notes encouraging him to smile and laugh more. And of course, she would never deign to sign them - it was embarrassing enough that she even wrote them in the first place!
Following these small gestures, she would end the day leaving behind a drawing she had personally made - each one a portrayal of his old self, his happier expressions.
And sure enough, she had gradually noticed the changes in Sirius Black. At first there was confusion and contemplation. But as time drew on, Sirius became livelier, less depressed, and his old self reemerged. For the rest of their sixth year and over, pranks were played, mock battles in the Great Hall continued, and laughter could be heard echoing throughout the school.
She was happy that Sirius was happy, and it was all that she wanted.
"It's enough." Serena whispered to herself.
In a week they would be graduating from Hogwarts. She knew that some of them would leave the country, fleeing from the war. She knew that others would remain behind, trying to fight the Dark Lord. And she knew that there would be a score of students that would side with the Dark Lord, willingly or not. It was inevitable.
Banishing the depressing thought from her head, Serena turned her attention back toward the stars, her eyes narrowing on the brightest star - Sirius. A part of her will always regret not telling the man she fell in love with about her feelings. But it was unacceptable to reveal her feelings. She wouldn't.
"It's enough," Serena repeated to herself. She didn't need to tell Sirius about her love for him. She didn't need to tell him that it was her notes and her drawings that he had been reading, and possibly keeping. She didn't need to tell him that she always watched him whenever she was within his vicinity.
She didn't need to tell him any of this, because... it was pointless.
Why tell the most sought after wizard of the school, when she was certain that he would simply break her heart? She didn't want to feel the pain, the rejection, the one-week love affair.
Maybe one day, one day she would tell him. And maybe on that day, he would return her feelings, and would protect her heart, would cherish it. But for now it was enough, to watch and love him from afar.
For the rest of that week, she continued with her notes, her greetings, and her drawings. However, there were small changes. Her notes were filled with not only encouraging words, but wishes for him to remain safe and happy after Hogwarts. Her greetings grew from mornings to afternoons and nights. And her drawings varied from his old expressions to a more mature outlook of what Sirius may look like after Hogwarts.
To her, these gestures were enough to satisfy and abate her longing feelings for the young man.
And on their last day at Hogwarts, she was surprised to find Sirius Black standing in front of her with a note in his hand.
"Morning, Serena."
"Morning..." Serena was a bit confused as to why Sirius would greet her first.
And it grew even more when Sirius approached her, and handed her a note. Slightly wary, she opened the note and read it to herself.
I love the
way your smiles brighten up the room. "
The way that you can
make anyone feel better, by your greetings alone.
The way
that you never give up, and you try your best.
The way that
you simply exist to warm anyone's heart.
Thank you for your
encouragement.
Thank you for being you.
"I knew it was you, but it took awhile for me to recognize your writing. It only came to me after I glanced at your sheet during Herbology." Sirius confessed, "And again, when Lily commented on how the drawings that you left me looked a lot like the way you normally drew your landscapes."
Serena flushed from embarrassment. She almost forgot that Lily normally hanged around the Marauders these days.
"I never told you how much your actions meant to me, but now you do..." Sirius admitted, waving his hand towards the note she held in her hand, "And I never told you how I felt..."
She looked at him sharply, not wanting to believe what she wanted him to say.
"I didn't want to fall for you, did you know?" Sirius revealed, a light blush marring his cheek.
And she subconsciously noted and studied his expression. The way his eyes fell just a bit, the light blush flowing through his face, making his appear... younger.
"You were different from all the other girls," he continued, "You were able to make friends with anyone. You were easy to talk to, I noticed, and you were brave enough to defend anyone no matter what House they were in."
"It annoyed me that you even defended Slytherins, even Sniv - I mean, Snape."
She remembered. She did defend Severus Snape a few years back, because she knew that he was friends with Lily. And he helped her a few times with Potions, even though it annoyed him.
"When I first received those notes, I was confused as to who it was. But I began to disregard it as unimportant. And found myself looking forward to them. It was a nice change from love letters. And the drawings were wonderful... I kept them all - the notes and the drawings."
She smiled at that. She wondered if he kept them.
"I never approached you, because I didn't know what you felt for me." Sirius hesitantly broached, "Like I said, you're different from the other girls...you're nicer, purer...I should say. I wasn't sure if I would be good enough for you."
Serena's eyes widened, surprised by his words.
"I always noticed you," Serena softly uttered, "I loved watching you. Your expressions were fun to watch - I was fascinated by them."
"My expressions?" Sirius interrupted, a cheeky grin etched onto his face.
"Yes," Serena ducked a blush, "The way that you laughed and smiled - everything."
"Like now?" Sirius stepped forward, and cupped her cheek, tipping it up to make her look at him.
And she noticed how soft and gray his eyes were. The curve of his jaw, his eyelashes, and the small tilt of a smile on his lips.
Again, she fell in love again and again. And she deftly wondered how those lips would feel, how soft his skin would feel under her fingertips. Hesitantly, she reached up and touched him.
"Like now." Serena huskily replied. And noticed how his eyelids fell shut, allowing her to move her fingertips across his jaw and up his cheek, to his forehead, his temple, and back down.
Before she could retract her hand, he caught it and brought it to his lips and kissed the underside of her palm, sending jolts of pleasure to course through her veins.
"I wouldn't mind, watching you either." Sirius murmured, "But I would rather watch you up close than afar."
At that, he gathered her up in his arms and kissed her.
And she came to know more of his expressions.
She came to see the differences of his expressions - the way they looked at her compared to everyone else. He would only look at her with a softened expression, his gray eyes filled with love and tenderness. How he would stare at her and only her, as if she was his whole world, his life.
And she knew that she looked at him the same way.
She loved his expressions, his gestures, and his touch.
And she loved it best when they were aimed at her.
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Yeah, I stopped it there, and didn't continue on to what happened after Hogwarts. We all know what happens, and I wanted to end it on a good note. Maybe next time.