Chapter Ten ~ A Change of Heart

Ciel's prov.

The weeks progressed ever so slowly. Since finding out that Sebastian was with child, I decided on decreasing his duties, much to his distaste. I knew that as of yet, Sebastian was still very adamant that he did not want to keep the child, but that didn't mean that I would put his life at risk by allowing him to continue with his more strenuous duties. Unfortunately he was barely manageable with his hormones all over the place. The poor servants didn't know what to do, and quite frankly, I wasn't the only one suffering whip-lash with his mercurial mood swings. One moment the butler would be very happy either dusting or baking cakes, the next minute he would be in a flying rage because something went wrong, then, the one that scares the servants the most, Sebastian would break down in floods of tears. Often at the stage where I could hear his voice bellowing around the manor, is usually my cue to grab him and take him to my room before he broke down in front of anyone.
At one point, I had to turn down visits from Elizabeth because Sebastian was flying around the manor in a complete rage. Nothing had made him angry, oh no, he just woke up like it. I had seated Elizabeth in my study and we were talking about her latest ball, her bubbly, high pitched voice irritating Sebastian to the point where he couldn't contain himself anymore, "Could you please shut up about your damn pink parties! The Master doesn't care and quite frankly, your voice is giving me a migraine!" He growled, dropping her tea right in front of her, almost shattering the cup as he stormed out of the room and made his way upstairs.

I glanced after Sebastian, gaping at him before turning back to my cousin, "I am so sorry Lizzie. He isn't normally like this," I apologised, standing and grabbing a cloth and wiping up the tea that Sebastian had spilt. Lizzie didn't pay any mind, she could tell something was wrong with the butler since she knew how polite and proper he usually was. After a few more minutes, I showed her to the door, explaining that I would have her over soon once Sebastian was feeling better, to which she agreed all too quickly.
When I made my way up to my bed room, Sebastian was laying on his side, sound asleep, so I left him to it.

He also seemed more impulsive when it came to intimate evenings. Most of the time, I was too busy, trying to catch up with the work that I had missed over the weeks that I had spent looking after Sebastian when he was ill. But occasionally, when I was working late into the night when the servants were asleep, I would hear the door creak open, and Sebastian, all sleep mussed and looking absolutely gorgeous without a shirt on, would walk into the study. He would rub his eyes, staring at me, "Why are you still awake, my lord?" he would ask.

"I need to finish reading these reports before I send them back with my response," I had sighed, dropping my pen and rubbing my temples. Sebastian could see I was very tired, but he still slinked over, resting his arms on the arms of the armrest, "Well maybe I can help," he would whisper, pressing little kisses under my ear, gently making his way up. A growl escaping his lips as he began nipping my earlobe with his teeth, his tongue darting out to lick the shell of my ear.

"No Sebastian, I am not in any mood to play today," I had replied, pushing the demon away from me, "I'll finish them tomorrow, I need to sleep."

Even then he still wouldn't let up until he finally got his way. After which he would happily fall asleep, his arms wrapped around my shoulders. Oh my mercurial Sebastian, I would think as I stroked his hair, his snores light as he nuzzled his nose against my bare chest.

Unfortunately, another downside to Sebastian's condition was that he had to leave early in the evening to hunt, devouring the souls of criminal low lives in order to keep himself from returning to that dreadful, deathlike state. He wasn't happy about it either since he had told me once that he preferred high quality souls and would starve himself in order to enjoy the souls even more. All the low quality souls seemed to make him grumpier, "I hate having to devour the souls of criminals. Honestly, the one I ate last night really made yours seem like a prized five course meal," he had grouched, one evening as he came back, wiping his mouth from any stray blood on his lips, his fangs replaced by his normal teeth. I didn't seem phased as he then proceeded to serve me dinner, only joining me for pudding, which he seemed to have really developed a taste for.
It didn't matter what kind of dessert it was, as long as it was sweet then he would eat it along with me. I noticed how dainty he was when handling food, he never picked things up with his fingers like I sometimes did, he always insisted on using the silverware. Honestly, in comparison to him, he was like a king and I a lowly savage.

Every day there was something new to complain about, but the main thing was that he wanted Nanook to hurry up, just so he could free himself of the cursed spawn. I myself found that I actually wanted for Sebastian to change his mind about the child. After all, apart from when he was completely unbearable, most of the other things agreed with Sebastian. He looked healthy. He was bright and positively glowing, and when he was in a good mood, well he was an absolute joy to be around. But I couldn't force him to have a child he didn't want, since after all, he would be the one to go through it. It was his body, and there fore it was his choice. But sometimes I did find him to be rather unreasonable about the child.
The poor thing made one mistake. Granted it was a pretty big one, but it couldn't be left accountable for the mistake of almost killing Sebastian. In my opinion, as the days wore on, the more I actually wanted the child, I just hoped Sebastian would before it was too late.

...

It was late afternoon, I had just gotten out of my bath when Sebastian came into the room, his face, exhausted as he flomped down on the bed, laying back, draping his arm over his eyes. His mouth set in a tense grimace. From the smell of him, he must have been cleaning the kitchen after Baldroy used C-4 and gunpowder to try and cook my dinner quicker. Obviously it didn't work, and he was lucky that the house didn't blow up along with the kitchen. However I could only imagine the look on Sebastian's face when he saw the state of the aftermath. His eye must have had a twitching fest.

I wrapped the towel across my waist and paced over toward the demon, "Are you alright Sebastian?" I asked, padding over to him. I could just about make out the very tiny swelling on his lower abdomen, just above his silver buckled belt. I wouldn't dare say anything about it since he now had resorted to wearing slightly larger dress shirts in order to hide it. Honestly, if you didn't know he was with child, you wouldn't notice it at all.

"I'm alright Ciel. I am just tired," he grumbled, resting his head back against the pillows.

I smiled gently and climbed onto the bed, sitting on his pelvis, blanketing his chest with my own. Careful not to touch his abdomen which was still tender to touch at times. I lifted his arm off his face and shook my wet hair so the droplets of water would land on his porcelain skin, "Are you sure?" I pouted, however I could barely hold it, my face splitting into a smile as the butler chuckled lightly.

He wiped his face of the water droplets, brushing his fingertips across my lips, opening one eye. The red orb moving to stare directly at me, "Yes Ciel, I am. I wish you would stop worrying about me."

I frowned and shook my head again, "How can I? Sebastian there is no way I could ever stop worrying about you. After all, you are my destined mate, therefore I am entitled to such a task," I explained, my tone matter of fact. He sighed and just closed his eye again. His face visibly relaxing as his arms came up to cradle my back. I rested my head against his chest, knowing he wouldn't care if his shirt got wet from my sopping hair. His fingertips traced small patterns into my back, one of them made me giggle as he knew I couldn't stand cats. But I wasn't going to argue with a demon who's mood changes so quickly that I have no time to catch up.
A troubling thought came to mind as I glanced up at his smooth features, "Has the child got you down again?" I asked, blushing slightly at the question.

His fingers halted, his arms stiffened. All of his muscles going rigid as his eyes snapped open. He glanced down at me coldly, pushing me off him so he could sit up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, "What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked, slumping over, his back arching, one hand covering his face while the other rested on his knee.

To say that I felt hurt by Sebastian's reaction was a slight understatement. I casted my eyes downward, not knowing how to respond to him. He filled in the gaps before I could even voice my words, "Ciel, what do you want me to do? I am devouring extremely low quality souls, which is making me nauseous, I am rather depressed that it has been two and a half weeks since seeing Nanook and the time just isn't going quick enough for me. I am tired all the time, I don't particularly feel the best either, I have said I am alright. As alright as I am going to be until this..." he paused, his lip curling as he pointed to his stomach, "...Thing is taken out of me. So please do not insult me, just take my word for it," he snarled, throwing me a sordid look from the corner of his eye. His crimson eye flecked with magenta, his pupil slightly elongated. His emphasis on the word 'thing' made me flinch, He really did loathe the child. I felt my heart sink, He would never give the poor thing a chance.

I bit my lip, enough that I could taste blood. I sat there on the middle of the bed, staring at the butler's broad arched back. I wanted to ease Sebastian's suffering, but I just didn't know how, "I'm sorry Sebastian. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to ask you how you are anymore," I whispered, bowing my head, staring at my fingers as I played with my fingers. I heard a loud sigh from the demon as he shifted across the bed, moving so he was sitting behind me. His legs encircling mine, his arms wrapped around my waist. His big body arching slightly over mine, his head resting on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry too. I can't keep taking my moods out on you," Sebastian murmured, kissing my temple gently, "I just don't know what I am going to do. I am going out of my mind here."

I turned my head so I could just about see the side of his face, "Then why don't you try and talk to me about it? At least then I would be able to understand what you are feeling," I suggested, tracing his eyebrow with my index finger.

He sighed through his nose, closing his eyes, "What would you like to know?"

Blinking at him, I didn't think he would be so quick to agree. Knowing that Sebastian could be very stubborn when it came to getting information out of him, the fact that he was agreeing so quickly either meant that he was happy to divulge, or there was actually something wrong that he needed to get off his chest. I bit my lip again, chewing down on my flesh, "Are you having second thoughts about getting rid of the child? Any at all?" I asked around gnawing on my lower lip.

Sebastian groaned, his eye opening and giving me a sideways glance, flitting from my mouth back to my gaze, "You really need to stop biting your lip. You are going to cause yourself an injury," he muttered, pulling my lip free from my teeth with his fingers, "And in answer to your question, at this time, no I am not having second thoughts. And I can guarantee that I won't have second thoughts about getting rid of this thing. It's just..." Sebastian trailed off, sighing loudly. I felt him swallow against my shoulder, Whatever it was, it was really not something he was willing to open up to. His eyes closed so he no longer had to look at me.

"It just what Sebastian?" I prodded, hoping to wade further into what was the actual problem here. If I could figure it out, then maybe I could actually do some good by helping the demon release whatever was bothering him so much.
When Sebastian spoke, it was on a loud exhale, his words rather jumbled, "It just reminds me of my own childhood, that's all."

I blinked at the butler, my mouth opening and closing, but the words didn't want to come out, "Y...You had a childhood?"

Sebastian turned his head so he could frown at me, his eyebrows curving over his crimson eyes, "Of course I had a childhood. What exactly are you implying?" his voice acidic as he searched my face.

"It's just you have never mentioned your childhood before. I guess I just assumed that demons were spawned as you are now," I tried to explain, my eyes glancing down at Sebastian's. I played with the buttons on his gloves, removing the material away from his hands so I could stroke his soft palms. I turned his left hand over so I could trace the faustian contract, my fingers skating over the pentagram.
I felt Sebastian's chest heave against my back, I thought for a moment he was crying, until I lifted my eyes to see he was actually laughing, "Now... where on earth... did you... get... an idea... like that!" Sebastian chortled, throwing his head back, dragging me down as he flomped back onto the bed. I was sprawled on his chest, my towel barely covering my hips as I turned in his grasp.

I bit my lip again, smiling sheepishly, "I don't know. I just cannot imagine you as a child, or a baby for that matter," I murmured, pressing my warm lips to his chin. Sebastian hummed in response, his chest jolting occasionally as his laughter slowed.

"Yes it was rather odd. Such a long time ago. I do not remember much of it at all really," he whispered, his arms crushing me to his chest. I cuddled the demon back, it felt nice to have Sebastian, my Sebastian here for a while. No doubt the hormonal one would be back soon and I would have to deal with him. So I took this opportunity, seizing it with both hands, hoping that to some degree, it would shed some light on why he was so adamant not to keep the child, "What was your childhood like?"

Sebastian sighed, a sad smile on his lips, "It wasn't pretty at all. My parents didn't want me, they would often leave me for years at a time to hunt for souls. For a demon, a few years seems like a few weeks. But to a child, who holds nothing but admiration for their parents, to abandon him for such a long time..." Sebastian released a shaky breath as he glanced up at the ceiling, "When I was about one hundred years old, ten if you will, they abandoned me completely. I couldn't understand why they were taking so long. But I waited for them, waited for years but they didn't come back for me. So I had to learn how to fend for myself. I taught myself how to hunt souls, and when I was old enough not to draw attention to myself, I made my way up to the human world, making contracts with the finest souls. I had been hunting in London for around a year before you summoned me."

I gaped at the demon, his past was so tragic. So filled with heartache, "Sebastian... I... I don't know what to say. That is awful," I whispered.

"I have no good memories of my childhood. My parents were not the caring type, all I know is that I no longer care for it. It was my past, and for all I know, I could have killed them, since I have killed so many demons in my time," He murmured, his mouth a tight white line.

I frowned at Sebastian, "Don't you at least remember their names? Surely you haven't killed them?"

"I do not remember anything about them. Not what they look like, what their names were, what they sounded like. All I can remember of them, is the complete hatred they felt towards me. I still carry it with me to this day. That is why I envy you Ciel."

"Why do you envy me, Sebastian?" I asked in a shocked voice, unable to understand why he would want to envy my life in the first place.

Sebastian sighed heavily, his eyes remaining on the ceiling, his crimson eyes glistening, "Because you have such fond memories of your childhood. Your mother and father loved you dearly, they did not willingly abandon you. That's why I keep telling you to appreciate what you had with them, to treasure those memories. Because they are the only ones you will ever get," He whispered, placing a small kiss onto my temple.

I bit my lip, Could this be why he doesn't want the child? I thought, Only one way to find out.
"Is that the real reason you want to get rid of the child? Not just because you don't want it, but because you are afraid that you will turn out like your parents and abandon it?" I asked, not glancing up into the eyes of the butler.

Sebastian stiffened, I could feel his molten gaze down on me, his fingers tightening on my arms, "Of course that is not the reason! I have told you that I do not want this... Thing! And even if I was forced to have it, I wouldn't abandon it, because it is immoral and unjust to do that to a child," he growled.

I sighed, Well I have started this argument, might as well tell him what I really think, "Yet you can hold a grudge against your unborn child because of something it couldn't control. You will not even give it a second chance, a chance to live. How is that not immoral and unjust," I whispered, completely deflated. Not because of the conversation, but because I knew that this would turn into something ugly, and whether I would like it or not, it was my fault.

Sebastian sat up, his eyes narrowed down at me as he removed all contact with me, standing and walking over to the window. His arms wrapped around his chest as he stared out into the afternoon haze. The faded yellowy-orange rays giving him a warm aura, when I knew it was anything but. He turned, scowling at me, "That's how you think of me. You think I am a monster because I do not want it. Because I am getting rid of it, you think of me how I think of my parents?" he whispered, his voice barely audible.

I groaned, flopping back onto the pillow, "No Sebastian. I do not think you are a monster. I do not see you in that way at all. I understand you are scared because the child, accidentally, tried to kill you and you do not want it to happen again, "I paused, taking a breath, peaking at the butler, who had turned again, staring out into the garden once more. I could see the very faint shuddering of his shoulders, I knew I had upset him more than I should have done, "I just want you to understand, that your fear shouldn't be the thing that is stopping you. You need to understand that the child was just doing what it was supposed to, so it could live."

"What are you getting at Ciel?" Sebastian spat, his arms falling to his side, his fists shaking. His head bowed, still refusing to look at me.

I sighed, shifting to the edge of the bed, standing but making now effort to actually approach the butler, "I think that you do want the child but you are too scared you will turn out to hate it. That you will just end up like your own parents. Well you won't Sebastian. You are loved, so loved Sebastian. And you love as well, you are not incapable of it, unlike your parents. You wouldn't be alone either, I would be here to help you," I explained, tentatively approaching the demon now. I could tell he was still far too angry. His voice saddened, "I thought you said you would respect whatever decision I would make?"

"I do respect your decision. I just want you to see that it is not the only option here," I growled, glaring at the butler's back.

"Well right now, you seem to be disrespecting that decision by trying to talk me out of something I actually want. I want to get rid of it. There are no if's, and's or but's about this. So let it be Ciel," he snarled, turning to face me. Even though there were tears streaming down his face, his eyes were a scorching magenta, his mouth twisted into a snarl, baring his jagged teeth. Before I would have backed away from the butler, but not now. I know him too well, he wouldn't hurt me. I walked over to him, embracing him, nuzzling my face into his chest, "Alright Sebastian. I understand. I am sorry. It is your decision, I just wanted to know if there was but a slim chance of you changing your mind," I grumbled, pressing my face into his shirt. I didn't want to butler to see that I was actually rather upset that he held so much hate toward a child who wasn't even born, who no doubt, loved him unconditionally. The very thought of Sebastian killing something that loved him so much was a rather sobering, heart-wrenching thought.

Sebastian made no effort to move. He was frozen to the spot, which was okay. At least he wasn't going to run away from me. I sighed and released him, moving over to the bed and lying down on my side. My bare back exposed to the butler as I pulled the sheets up around my head. I closed my eyes, releasing a shaky breath, shivering under the sheets. I didn't hear Sebastian make his way over to the bed. I just felt the side of the bed dip as he sat down. I opened my eyes and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw him right there, his eyes still angry, but his expression sorrowful, "I am sorry Ciel, but I am not going to change my mind. Please don't hate me because of it."

I shrugged, grabbing him by the shoulders and placing a chaste kiss onto his mouth, "I don't hate you at all Sebastian. I love you, no matter what," I whispered, throwing my arms around his body, crushing myself to him. I didn't want this to change us at all, but I couldn't help thinking we would never be the same again.

Sebastian sat up and cradled my body to his. I showered his face in kisses, hoping he would see I meant nothing by it, that I didn't mean to upset him. The scorching kisses trailing down his neck until I reached the collar of his shirt, unbuttoning the fabric so I had more flesh to work with.

"I'm still angry with you Ciel," Sebastian moaned, turning his head to the side so I could have better access. I smiled against his skin, "I know, but I want to make it up to you. I don't like it when we fight," I murmured, kissing the hollow of his throat, feeling his voice vibrate against my lips as he chuckled.

"Did you not just take a bath," Sebastian asked, halting my advances slightly.

"Maybe," I whispered, turning my lips down as I left a scorching trail down his chest, along his abdominals. The flesh of his abdomen, soft under my lips before I turned to unbutton his trousers. Sebastian moaned again, his fingers at the back of my neck, twisting in my hair.

"Hm... I hope you do not mind getting all dirty again, my lord?" The butler said huskily.

I smiled, rising up and shedding the towel from my waist, "Not at all. I like getting down and dirty with you Sebastian. Happens to be my favourite pass time."

The demon chuckled as he placed his lips back to mine, "Now who is exhibiting the mercurial mood swings. At least I have an excuse," he moaned as I unsheathed my teeth, dragging them along his inner thigh, biting and nibbling the soft flesh. I smiled, watching as my butler began to relax and enjoy himself.

"You might have an excuse, but do shut up and just kiss me!" I growled, rising up so I was eyelevel with him. His dark crimson eyes, hooded and lustful as he smiled a large devilish smile, "Of course my lord."

Sebastian's prov.

Oh this month could not go any slower, I grouched as I awoke the next morning. It had been two and a half weeks since seeing that infernal witch doctor and I still had another week and a half before I can have the child removed from me. Ciel had apologised thoroughly last night for his small outburst, however I could hardly blame him. He did seem to have a point when it came to the child. Honestly, I was quite moved that he would defend an unborn child as he had. But it still didn't change the fact that I didn't want to keep it. Whether he wanted it or not.

Ciel was still sound asleep beside me, his arm strewn across my body, his legs tangled in mine. His head resting on my shoulder, I could feel his soft breathing on the side of my face. Grumpily, I glanced down to where his fingers were splayed out over my abdomen, as if he were protecting it. I wanted to scowl, to pitch a fit, scream bloody murder at the boy for touching it, but I couldn't help but feel a warm feeling seep into my chest and settle in my heart. My poor Ciel, he would have made a wonderful father, The thought creeped into my mind before I could stop it.
I sighed, gently moving Ciel's hand so I could sit up. I uncovered my body from the tangled bedsheets and sat at the edge of the bed, rubbing my head. I felt bad, really bad that Ciel seemed to want this so much, and yet I didn't. It must feel so horrible for him that he couldn't get something he wanted for once, and for the first time, I couldn't help but take it away from him.

I groaned, standing up and strode over to the wardrobe. I opened the drawer, pulling on a pair of my undershorts before grabbing a pair of pressed, black trousers. At this rate, with how the child was growing at an increased rate, due to it being a demon and all, I would have to adjust my trousers. They had been feeling rather tight across my stomach for the past few days. I slid into my silky trousers, now normally one would button the trousers up and move on. But not for me, not today.

My fingers curled around the two offending pieces of material, trying to pull them together so I could button them up, but they refused to join as one. I blew a strand of hair out of my face before breathing in, sucking in my abdomen. But it made no difference, no matter how much I tried, my abdomen wouldn't shrink enough to allow me to button the trousers up.
I grumbled and muttered to myself, walking over to the mirror and standing to the side. There was definitely a small noticeable bump protruding from my lower abdominal region, either side of my hips. It was small enough that if no one was looking for it, or they didn't know me, that it wouldn't be very easy to see. However that didn't make me feel any better. I turned to face the mirror properly, noticing my abdomen was still defined by muscle, however my abdominals were slightly less prominent.

I snarled, stripping the trousers off and moved onto another pair, grumbling irritably under my breath, "This is all your fault," I hissed at my abdomen as I held out another pair of trousers, dragging them up my thighs. However the same problem occurred, "Oh, come on!" I growled, "Come on, please!" I hissed, struggling to button up the garment. Maybe if I lie down on the bed, I thought, pacing over to the bed, Ah yes! This should work.

Oh how wrong was I.

Ciel's prov.

I awoke to the sound of grunting as I opened my tired eyes. I had the most wonderful night with Sebastian, completely filled with pleasure. But I was exhausted, mainly because we didn't actually stop until it was rather late. Both of us falling asleep due to pure exhaustion. I felt around the space next to me, Sebastian wasn't there, which could only mean he was already dressed and getting on with his duties.
I sat up, yawning loudly, my arms spread wide over my head. I opened my eyes fully and gasped. Sebastian was lying at the foot of the bed, his face red and angry as he tried to pull his trousers together, but failing miserably. I watched as he sucked in a deep breath and tried again, however it ended in the same result.

"This is all your fault my trousers don't bloody fit me anymore! I hope you are very, very proud of yourself. Because I can tell you, I am furious with you!"

At first I thought he was talking to me. I was about to protest when I saw him sit up, his hand on his head as he glared down at his abdomen, "I can bet that you are exactly like your father. If he saw this then he'd be laughing too!"

I clasped my hand over my mouth, a giggle erupting from my mouth, "I thought you hated that thing?" I mocked, laughing even harder when the butler jumped near enough two foot in the air.

"CIEL!" he whined, turning to face me, "What the devil did you do that for?" he growled, glaring daggers at me. His hands on his hips, his trousers still undone.

I smiled at the butler, getting up and embracing Sebastian, "Because I thought it was cute. You talking to an unborn child who cannot hear you," I cooed, nuzzling his chest.

"It's not cute when the thing has caused me to out grow my trousers!" the demon hissed, "I can't do any of them up! It's rather infuriating!"

I giggled again, smiling up at Sebastian. His mouth twitching as he tried to keep himself from smiling, "I bet. But you can hardly blame the child for growing," I replied. I squeezed him gently, loving the feel of him as he wrapped his own arms around my waist. I could hear him grumbling under his breath, but I chose to ignore, knowing he was just venting about not being able to button his trousers up.

"Shouldn't be growing in the first place," he muttered, as he let me go to grab his sewing kit.

Sebastian's prov.

The day was filled with problems, first being my trousers, which I managed to sort out after widening the hem and putting a small amount of elastic around the front which should be fine as long as the child didn't have a rapid growth spurt. Good job I learnt to sew really, I thought as I continued with my duties. I made the young Master breakfast, trying my very best not to eat all the blackberries. Enduring Finnian's constant babbling as I pruned back the rosebushes, making sure none of the pure white petals were bruised. I then made the Master his lunch, choosing to sit with him in his study while he ran through the rest of the shipment logs for the Funtom Toy Company, before I left to dust and polish the manor, top to bottom with Mey-rin.

"Sebastian?"

I sighed, turning to the red haired maid, "What is it now Mey-rin? I have told you once already, I have a headache," I grumbled as I carried the boxes of the new tea set I had ordered, down to the kitchen. Mey-rin was helping by carrying the matching plates and bowls. Most of the time she was relatively quiet, but right now she was insistent on being the most annoying maid in history. But I had to endure, after all, I didn't want another outburst.

"You're not gettin' sick again, are you? Should I tell the young Master?" she panicked, her glasses fogging up slightly as tears started to form in her eyes.

"No I can assure you, I am in perfect health Mey-rin," I mumbled, "All except for you, you little parasite," I whispered to my stomach. I had been talking to the child all day now, just felt like a decent way to pass the time. More often than not, I hummed to myself, hoping the child was listening. In a way, I would love for there to be a young child around the manor again. Granted Ciel wasn't very young when I met him, but he was still young enough that I taught him most what he now knows.

"Who's a parasite?" Mey-rin perked up, "'Ave you gotta parasite? Is that why your stomach is showin' a little more than usual? I thought it was too many cakes with the young Master, I did."

For the first time in my life, as the Phantomhive butler, I dropped all the boxes of china. Hearing them all smash to tiny pieces as they fell to the floor. I turned around, glaring at the woman as she panicked.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?" I spat, my fists shaking at my sides as I glared down at her. Mey-rin tried to look anywhere but directly at me, her face red with embarrassment as she tried to sidestep around me, "Nothin' Sebastian. Don't know what you're talkin' about. I 'aven't said anythin'," she shrieked, backing away from me as I advanced on her.

"What is going on here?" the loud bellowing voice of Ciel called, "Mey-rin, how many times have we told you to take one box at a time!"

Mey-rin glanced at the Master who stood just behind me, her features relaxing slightly, "Master! Thank god your 'ere. It weren't me sir! Honestly, it were Sebastian. He's real angry at me!" she yelped, darting past me and running down the hall, lifting her skirts so she could make an easy get away.

Before I could go after her and demand what she meant, Ciel planted a firm hand on my chest, "Sebastian, what is going on?"

I turned my gaze from the retreating maid, down to the Master, tears glazing over in my eyes. I couldn't break down here, not in the hall where anyone could see. I stood up properly, straightening my tailcoat and sleeves before hastily walking down the hall. I rounded the corner, hearing Ciel trotting behind me to keep up. I saw the study come into view and I hurried behind the door, Ciel right on my heels.

"Sebastian... Slow down..." he panted, shutting the door behind him. I sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the large mahogany desk, my head in my hands, "What is wrong Sebastian? Please tell me."

My head snapped up, a dark look on my face, "Nothing is wrong my lord, I will be fine," I sighed, grumbling under my breath. Ciel wasn't buying it, he just came around the desk, kneeling beside me, "Sebastian. I know you. What did Mey-rin say?"

I sighed, knowing there was no point in keeping it away from him. He would only bug me with it, "Mey-rin thinks I have a parasite."

Ciel frowned, cocking his head to the side, "Why would she think that?"

"Because I may have called the child a parasite in front of her," I mumbled. Honestly, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.

Ciel sighed, placing a hand on mine, "You just need to be more careful what you say. But that wasn't what upset you was it? Why did you fly off at her like that?" he asked.

I smiled, "Oh, perceptive as ever my lord," I rubbed his hand with my thumb in soothing circles, "She just commented on this," I grumbled, pointing to my abdomen. Ceil glanced at the small bump and smile, "So you reacted at her because she tried to call you fat?" trying to hide a smirk as he raised his eyebrow. I could tell just by the look in his eyes that he wanted to laugh at me, but I tried not to take it to heart. After all, thinking about it, it was rather absurd.

"I guess I should go and apologise to her," I muttered, standing, "But first I will get your tea."

...

Finally the day had arrived. The day I would get the baby removed from me. I had to admit I wasn't at all feeling the best. The baby now tended to keep me awake during the night, either from needing to go to the bath room, to throw up, or just because I was so uncomfortable to even try and go to sleep. You wouldn't have thought a baby of two months gestation would cause such trouble, but alas here it was, getting up to all sorts of mischief.
I was concerned about how the banishment ritual was carried out, I had tried to read up on the ritual, but everything was very vague and never gave much information away. It was used for anything from banishing spirits, to banishing unwanted items. But I couldn't find anything on it being used to abort a baby. I was concerned for it, hoping that Nanook knew what the hell he was doing.

I sighed, hoping that today would be over quickly. I was ready to get back to my duties since I was sick of having to do less due to Ciel being worried for my health. At least after today, he wouldn't have to worry anymore. I was very concerned about Ciel. Over the last few days, he had become rather distant, often skipping meals and making stupid excuses for me not to join him until he was getting ready for bed. But it didn't take a genius to figure out what was wrong with him.
He was separating himself from the pain that was bound to be inflicted tonight. I know he wanted me to so desperately change my mind, to keep the baby. Every night I would go to bed and Ciel would be talking in his sleep to what I assumed was a child. But he never seemed to want to speak to me about it. Just because I wanted to get rid of the baby, didn't mean I didn't want to discuss the possible future of having one.
Even in the mornings, Ciel would avoid me. I would wake up and he would already be awake, locked in his study.

I could tell deep down, even though he insisted he was being supportive, he was grieving for the baby he could have had. I sighed, feeling completely depressed. I wanted to be happy that I would finally be free, that my body would finally be my own again. But I couldn't. I heaved myself out of the bed, Ciel was still asleep by my side, which was unusual. I didn't attempt to wake him, I just silently got out of the bed and dressed myself, adjusting my cufflinks before I glanced up at the ceiling, heaving a sigh. I glanced down at my abdomen, placing a gentle hand on the side of the small bump. It felt odd, but somehow very right as I did so, "What am I going to do with you two eh?" I whispered, leaving the bedroom so I could make breakfast for the three of us.

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