Disclaimer: Just in case you hadn't realised already - nothing belongs to me
A/N For those of you who want to know the sad inner workings of my mind the chapter was written listening to Patty Griffin – Rain on repeat. In my head as they enter the motel room this is what would be playing if it was an episode of the show. I wish. The last chapter didn't get as many reviews as the previous so I am worried people are losing interest if you are reading I would appreciate a review be it good bad, long short just so I know whether I'm keeping your interest. Thanks so much for those who have read and reviewed you have made my week!
Luckily enough for Booth the Paediatrician, Doctor Hubbard, did not share the same personality dysfunction as the town's Sheriff and Headmaster. He was polite to Brennan perhaps a little more friendly than Booth would have appreciated. Either way he confirmed that there was a distinct likeness between Lindsey and the image Angela produced and he also confirmed that her mother Laura looked like the computer generation of the middle aged victim. Upon examining Lindsey's x-rays Brennan was convinced they had a clear match and phoned the local dentist to get dental records of the family shipped to the Jeffersonian to confirm identification.
Satisfied that they had identified their victims Brennan and Booth headed over to the hardware store to try and identify a date from which to work from for their disappearance. Booth opened the door for Brennan and she entered the store reticently. It was dark and the walls were covered with tools floor to ceiling, all haphazardly balanced. The store had a strong smell of oil and grease and Brennan wrinkled her nose in disparagement.
"See women just can't appreciate the rawness, the manliness of a place like this."
"Sorry Booth I guess we are just advanced enough to move beyond congregating in places that smell and bonding over tools which have genuine symbolic attachments to men's desire to show their dominance within a social group. I mean all these tools function as are giant phallic symbols really."
"See Bones, this is what you don't get, there is no need to deconstruct, this simply is what it is."
"Booth of course it is what it is it can't be what it's not."
"Oh Bones." Booth sighed, frustrated but still slightly amused.
"What? I don't get it,.why are you 'oh Bonesing' me?"
"Don't worry about it." He laughed, his smile broadening, her smile mirrored his caught in an unexplained and infectious laughter.
"Come on Booth we can't stand here arguing all day." Brennan ushered as she stepped ahead of Booth towards the counter. An elderly man sat on a stool behind it engrossed in a car maintenance magazine. "Excuse me Sir." Brennan ventured trying to gain his attention. The man looked up and upon seeing Brennan his face lit up.
"Well hello there little lady what can I do for you?"
Brennan bit back the urge to protest at being referred to as 'little lady' a term the men of this town seemed to enjoy bestowing upon her.
"We are looking for Mr. Masterson."
"Well you found him dear." The man grinned gesturing towards himself.
At this point Booth stepped forward to stand next to Brennan by the counter, asserting dominance, Brennan smirked to herself. Booth was becoming increasingly irritated by the way in which this man was eyeing up Brennan. What is it with the men in this town? He thought to himself. Couldn't they just treat her as a normal human being?
"Hello Mr Masterson" Booth interjected "I am Special Agent Seeley Booth from the FBI and this is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan."
"Oh yes." The man nodded, scratching his beard. "I heard you folks were around looking in to them bones found up in the woods."
"Indeed we are Mr. Masterson and we have reason to believe that they were the remains of three ladies you rented a flat out to in the Florence Park area."
"The Jacobs girls?" Masterson questioned, shock evident on his face. At this point a bell rang indicating more customers had entered the store. "Hey Father Ryan, did you hear them bones were the Jacobs women."
Booth grimaced at the man's bluntness and willingness to give such information out. He guessed that the news would be around the town within the next hour and he seriously doubted that this would be helpful to their investigation.
"Is this true" Father Ryan asked his eyes focussed on Booth.
"Yes sir it is." Brennan answered for him.
"Oh how awful." Father Ryan added "Any idea what happened to them?"
"We are still conducting our investigation Father Ryan is it?"
The vicar nodded and Booth extended his hand to him, which the Vicar then shook vigorously. "I am Special Agent Seeley Booth with the FBI and this is my Partner Dr. Temperance Brennan." At the mention of Brennan's name a look spread across the Vicar's face it's meaning one Booth could not discern. Booth was momentarily worried before the vicar crossed to address Brennan.
"Dr. Brennan I have read your book it is exceptional." Brennan blushed and moved to shake the hand the Vicar had extended towards her. "You most certainly must be an asset in solving these cases."
" I hope so Father."
"Oh no need to be modest dear without people like you where would this world be?"
Brennan continued to blush and had no idea what she was supposed to say. She decided that she perhaps preferred obnoxious chauvinistic men fighting with her than to be complimented. Such praise was not something she was used to or something she expected she would ever get used to. Un perturbed by Brennan's silence the Vicar continued.
"But I'm guessing this case is going to be one that stumps you."
"Why would you say that?" Booth asked.
"Well this is a small town so I have heard about what was left of those poor women so I'm suppose you have very little to go on."
"I wouldn't worry Father Ryan I'm sure we'll get there it just might take me a bit longer." Brennan assured.
The same look passed across the vicar's face as had done when he was first introduced to Brennan. Booth tutted to himself rather fed up with contending with Brennan's adoring fans for her attention.
"Well Dr. Brennan then you are a more amazing woman than I first thought."
Is Father Ryan actually flirting with Brennan? Booth thought to himself in disgust. At that moment Booth decided that they should round up the questioning and get out of the store as soon as possible. As swiftly as possible he ascertained that no one had seen the women for four months. Three months ago Masterson reclaimed the apartment to find it empty. They had not paid rent for six months at this point. No one knew any information about the women other than the fact they were single mothers. As soon as this information was gained Booth prised Brennan away from her fan club and back out to the car so that they could go and check in to a motel.
"Bones were you just flirting with a vicar?"
"No. I was just being polite I never know what to say when people approach me like that. What are you supposed to say?"
"Thank you very much tends to do the trick."
"Why are you angry Booth?"
"I'm not angry Bones I'm just tired."
"Booth you are angry your vein is sticking out of your head, you've gone red and ha!" she exclaimed, "You are chewing your lip again!" She pointed excitedly at his lip satisfied that she had her evidence.
"I'm not mad Bones."
"You are."
"Well of course I'm angry now – you are being annoying."
"What did I do?"
"Don't worry about it Bones. Look lets just focus on the case at hand ok?"
"Ok" Brennan relented, not really wanting to argue.
"What do you think?"
"About what?" Brennan asked her face crumpled in genuine confusion.
"The case Bones, the case!" Booth exclaimed somewhat frustrated.
"Of course the case Booth what I'm asking is what about the case."
"I was asking in general what do you think about the case?"
"What like whether it's good or bad?"
"No Bones I mean like what do you think happened to those women?"
" I told you Booth they were stabbed with a surgical scalpel."
"Yes Bones I know the how I just was asking why."
"How am I supposed to know? We have no suspects so no grounding at all for considering the motives."
"Do you know how annoying you are?"
"Me? What did I do Booth – you asked a stupid question."
"Yes so I got a stupid answer – I get it Bones. But is there any chance of having a reasonable conversation with you this evening or are you intent on being a pain in the ass."
" I resent that comment Booth I haven't done anything."
"Pain in the ass it is then." Booth sighed tapping his hands on the steering wheel.
"You are insufferable you know that right?" Brennan asked slumping back in her seat arms crossed.
"Let's just say you have a knack for bringing out the worst in people."
"So it's my fault your acting like an idiot?"
"Just be quiet Bones ok."
"Fine." She huffed, opening up a manila folder to examine Lindsey's x-rays once more. The ringing of Booth's cell interrupted their strained silence. He answered curtly and evidently got a dressing down for doing so. Brennan could hear Cullen shouting at Booth demanding he resolve the case within the next few days. It would seem Cullen felt that now the victims were identified the case should have progressed quicker. After a few minutes of shouting Cullen let Booth go and Booth hung up the cell expelling a huge sigh as he did so.
"Why do you let at him shout at you like that. We are working as quickly as we can."
"Because Bones, he lost his daughter last week and I'm assuming his anger is about that rather than the case."
"Oh" Brennan mouthed. "He's not coping so well?"
"Well he's surviving but I guess that's all a parent can do when they lose a child. It's just not the natural way you know to see your child die. If anything happened to Parker I, I don't know what I would do."
Brennan nodded "Care for young people is just biologically encoded in us, the death of a child touches anyone let alone someone with close links to that child."
Booth turned and looked at her shaking his head at her detachment. "It is far more than that and you know it."
"I know." She smiled weakly meeting his eyes that were full of latent hostility "but this is how I deal."
Her honesty softened the look in his eyes and he patted her on the knee softly. "We all have different ways of coping I guess." Their truce unspoken they sat in silence travelling towards their motel each contemplating what Cullen must be going through. Rain began to beat down on the windshield and Booth hit the wipers to full speed.
"Where did that come from?" Brennan mused, "One minute the skies were clear and now this down pour. It's amazing."
"Not so much amazing as a pain – I can barely see a few feet ahead of me. If it gets any worse I am going to have to pull over."
They arrived at the motel in one piece and Booth pulled into the parking lot expertly. They stepped out of the car and began to make their way hurriedly undercover. As they did so Booth's cell rang and he pulled it out of his pocket to examine caller ID. It was Rebecca.
"You go check us in I've got to take this." He called to Brennan as he stopped to answer the phone in private outside in the rain. A little confused Brennan decided it was best not to question and ran in to the motel soaked through. She walked across the lobby leaving pools of water behind her.
"It's a little wet out there Ma'am." The clerk offered helpfully.
"It is." Brennan answered. "I'd like to book two rooms for tonight."
"No problem" The clerk answered handing her the forms to fill out. He smiled up at her admiring the way her shirt clung to her breasts care of the rainwater. Brennan was oblivious to the clerks looks as she watched, worried, as Booth paced outside in the rain arguing animatedly with whoever had phoned him. She filled in the forms and was given the keys to two rooms. She thanked the clerk politely, her attention clearly elsewhere to his dismay.
Brennan watched as Booth hung up the phone and moved his hands to his head. He was really upset about something Brennan thought, her heart in her throat. She was unsure whether to go to him or leave him some space. After a moments hesitation she headed outside to try and drag him inside if he was hurt and angry the last thing he needed was to be soaked through as well. As she exited the motel she began to regret her decision to go and talk to him as he hurled his cell phone across the parking lot, rage evident on his face. Booth sat down on the kerb head in hands oblivious to her presence. Brennan opted to simply sit behind him placing her hand on his shoulder as she did to let him know she was there.
They sat in silence for a number of minutes as Booth fought with himself to calm down. Eventually Booth turned to face her, it was evident that he had been crying although he told himself that the rain had acted as a means of disguising this.
"It was Rebecca." He muttered. Answering the question she had been asking herself since the phone first rang.
"Is Parker ok?" Brennan questioned, fearing his answer."
"How should I know I never see him?" Booth snapped, taking his frustration out on his partner.
"I'm sorry, I thought maybe there had been an accident." Brennan shifted to face him.
"No accident Rebecca is taking him to stay with his grandparents for two weeks."
"I thought you two were going to a number of ball games next week?" As Brennan said it she realised she had answered exactly why Booth was so upset. She paused, sucked in a deep breath and continued. "I'm so sorry."
"Why?" Booth asked wringing his hands in front of him. "You have no idea."
"I know you are hurting and I'm sorry that you are."
"You have no idea how this feels Bones. It's like my heart is being ripped out. You don't know what its like to love someone in that way. You don't have a connection like that. You don't know what it's like to put someone else first with you it is work first people second. If your phone wrang now you'd answer it, you'd be professional and you would move on because that is what you do – I can't be like that."
Booth's words stung and Brennan was forced to fight back her own tears at his harshness. He was hurting, she told herself, and he is just lashing out. Booth watched the hurt spread across her face and felt a pang of remorse. Despite this he was so enraged he couldn't apologise he simply sat there heart broken."
"I'm sorry." Brennan said earnestly, she had no other words.
"I don't need your pity."
" I, Booth, I don't know what to say. Nothing I seem to say is right."
"This isn't about you Bones."
"I know it's not, I just." Brennan silenced herself realising that anything she said would only serve to make matters worse at this point. She was debating with herself whether she ought to stay or go when Booth began to speak.
"What will Parker remember me as? When I am gone what will my life have been about?"
Brennan moved closer to him taking his hand in hers entwining their fingers. Booth looked up at her appreciatively and moved his free hand towards her cheek. He brushed her damp hair away from her face stroking along her jawbone wondering why she put up with him before he returned his hand to his lap.
"When someone asks him about his dad what will he say? He won't know me because he never sees me. He won't be able to describe a life of happiness, he won't be able to say I was a good guy with friends and a family there will be no one to tell him I loved him. He'll know the facts he'll know I didn't see him, he'll know I was alone, he'll know I murdered people, he'll know that I was my job and nothing more and he will know the reason why I had no one."
"What is that reason?" Brennan questioned, feeling his hand tense in hers.
"Because what I have done means I don't deserve anyone."
After a long pause Brennan released his hand. Booth smiled to himself, he was right that everyone would leave eventually, now it was her turn. Instead she knelt in front of him legs soaked in the rainwater.
"Bones what are you doing you are going to get soaked."
"It's a little late to begin worrying about that Booth" She smiled indicating to her drenched form. "Booth?" He acknowledged her utterance of his name lifting his head to look at her. "Parker will know you are a good man because you are a good man. You will get to see him and when he is old enough to see you of his own free will he will."
"What makes you so sure?" Booth asked, his voice weak.
"Because you are a good man, anyone can see that, children are perceptive and I have seen the way he looks at you – he loves you Booth."
"But how long will that last? How long before he realises what I am."
"Booth he knows what you are, you are his dad you spend every day catching the bad guys and making the world a safer place for him. He knows that."
Booth gave Brennan a weak smile and she moved forward to hold him in her arms. He clung on to her like a lifeline and she held back equally as strongly. "Besides Booth I'll always be around to tell him you are one of the good guys, I promise."
"Bones you are shivering." Booth realised, his mind calming and rationality returning in her arms.
"I'm fine."
"Come on we'd better get inside you are drenched and cold and I'm not doing much better." Booth released her from his grip taking the time to admire her features in the rain and half-light. They stood up together supporting each other only relinquishing the touch of the other as they moved through the motel doors. They made there way silently to their rooms this time opposite each other.
"I guess we better get showered to warm up." Booth suggested rubbing Brennan's arms trying to get some warmth to her. "You are freezing." Booth paused wanting to apologise and not knowing how. The ring of her cell interrupted his train of thought. She removed it from her pocket and Booth moved away to let her take her call. She would be back in work mode in a second and the moment would be gone. They would go back to being colleagues and his friend would disappear. Realising that she hadn't begun to speak he looked across at her and realised she had switched her phone off.
"Bones you didn't have to do that. I didn't mean what I said. Call whoever it was back it's ok. I'm ok."
"Booth you didn't mean to say what you said but you did mean what you said."
Booth traced the sentence back in his head thinking through what she was saying.
"I'm sorry Bones." He whimpered drawing her into his arms. They stood in the corridor holding on to one another, a pool of water collecting around them. Hearing noise at the end of the corridor they broke apart and observed a couple walking towards them. Wanting to avoid embarrassing conversations Booth unlocked the door to his room and ushered Brennan inside. She stepped inside without hesitation and he followed close behind.
"Where is the light?" Brennan complained fumbling around in the darkness.
"No idea Bones." Booth answered catching up with her and placing his hand on her waist following her in to the darkness. He felt her flinch at his touch and removed his hands immediately. "Sorry Bones I guess having been victim to my outbursts you don't want touching. I guess you want to go you know, get some peace and quiet away from me, come up with excuses as to why you never have to see me again." He laughed bitterly, hoping all he said was not true but feeling in his heart that it was.
Brennan turned to face him in the dark hands on hips angry at his words.
"That is what you think of me Booth."
"What do you mean?"
"You think I am doing my duty, looking after you until I can make an escape?"
"I would understand if you were. This is all a bit strange Bones, you have to admit it. We are colleagues and the last few days things have changed so much and I guess I just don't know how you are feeling about it."
"I'm fine" she sulked
"I've hurt you again haven't I? I'm sorry Bones I just, I don't deserve you, I don't deserve Parker and maybe I should just accept my fate and be done with it."
"I don't believe in fate." Brennan retorted.
"But I do Bones, I do and this is my penance."
"What is?"
"My life, this is my penance."
"You have nothing to pay penance for Booth."
"I do Bones, you know that."
"No Booth I don't know that I know you are a good man and the one and only thing I have faith in is that you would never have done anything to hurt for the sake of hurting. Your intentions are always good. I'm not suggesting you have never gotten anything wrong but I guarantee you that you did it with the best intentions at heart."
"Why do you stay Bones?"
"What do you mean?"
"Haven't I said enough? Haven't I shown you enough of myself to scare you away."
Brennan smiled in to the darkness. "Booth you know I'm not scared of anything."
"Why are you still here?" Booth asked almost as a plea. "Why?"
"Because" Brennan began stepping towards him in the shadows, "someone needs to show you that you are a good person."
"Why?"
"Because you are and you deserve to stop punishing yourself."
"So you are here in a quest for justice?"
"No Booth I am here because I care about you."
"Then you are more of a fool than I thought Bones, I'm not someone you should waste your energy caring about."
"Well that isn't up to you Booth." Brennan reached out her hand finding him in the darkness. She pressed her self up against him clinging to him. It was as if she could physically feel his anguish and she held on desperately hoping he would let her in. Let her help him. She lifted her head to look at his profile in the darkness and ran her fingers along the point she knew his bruise was. She stepped back slightly and raised her other hand to brush away the tears she knew to be making their way down his cheek. Brennan leaned in to him and placed a gentle kiss at the point where she had wiped away his tear. She moved to kiss the tear from his other cheek running her hands down the side of his face. She did not analyse what she was doing she simply acted, following her heart and her desperate need to show Booth that he could be loved.
Booth was momentarily shocked by her kiss but his fear weakened as her body moulded against his and her hands moved up in to his hair. At that moment he felt her lips graze his and he could sense her nervousness as she deepened the kiss. Booth's heart swelled and he moved his arms around her waist to pull her closer running his fingertips down her spine. As he did this she pressed herself harder against him letting out a soft sigh against his lips. Booth moved one hand up her body to touch her chin, tilting her head back and kissing her passionately. Their tongues met creating a sense of urgency and they both clung together tasting every inch of each other's mouths.
Booth was the first to pull away and they each stepped back now only linked by their hands. Booth silently pulled her to sit on the edge of the bed. She complied and they sat next to each other each consumed with confusion. Booth turned to face Brennan and she mirrored his action drawing one leg underneath herself.
"Why did you do that?" Booth asked, extending a finger and tracing a line from her jaw, down her neck and along her collarbone.
"Isn't that obvious?" Brennan asked her blush disguised in the darkness.
"Is this a pity thing Bones?"
"Did it feel like a pity thing?"
"No" Booth half laughed, "It did not. Did you mean it?"
"With all of my heart." She answered, realising there was no way to be coy now, she simply had to be honest.
"Not with your head?" Booth queried.
"Booth if my head was engaged I would have panicked long before now so I am thinking it is best not to involve my head just yet."
Booth smiled at her answer resolve melting he leaned in to kiss her again. She kissed him back without hesitation running her hands over his chest. Booth traced her body with his fingertips, caressing her cheeks and running his fingers down her neck. He circled her shoulders and ran his hands down her arms from which point her snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her on top of him. They both collapsed backwards on to the bed Brennan lying on top of Booth still kissing him passionately.
Booth rolled her on to her back softly placing feather light kisses along her neck and chest enjoying the feeling of her smooth skin. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead as his face moved across hers to kiss the other side of her neck. His hands moved up from her waist and he slipped one hand underneath her shirt exploring the smooth skin of her stomach he had grown to enjoy looking at over the last few days. She moaned at his touch arching herself in to him. Her response to his touch turned him on further and he began too unbutton her blouse. He waited for her to protest but when she didn't he continued with newfound confidence. As he undid each button he lovingly kissed the skin it exposed wanting to feel every inch of her. The darkness was strangely erotic as neither of them could see the other. Everything was being experienced through touch and Booth's kisses were leaving Brennan craving for more. He undid the last button on her blouse exposing her breasts, he kissed her cleavage igniting further passion in Brennan her hands began tugging at his shirt longing to feel his skin against hers.
Booth sat up to remove his shirt and Brennan sat up with him not wanting to break their touch for a second. Her hands covered his as he unbuttoned and removed his shirt. Intrigued she ran her hands across his bare chest and moved to kiss him. Her kiss was soft and it communicated far more than lust to Booth. She quite literally took his breath away. His fingers traced along her spine as she kissed his neck her own hands exploring his muscular back. Booth pulled apart from her a second stroking her face and imagining the expression she was making.
"Are you sure you want this Bones?"
"Positive." She answered, "are you?" she asked, nervously chewing her bottom lip.
"Positive I want this not so positive you should want this."
"Well Booth that side of it is not your choice."
"I know." He agreed bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing her open palm. Brennan raised her hand and outlined his features with her fingertips.
"Why so serious? You don't want this?"
"No Bones I want this so much that I'm afraid that there is some catch. You know one night of happiness and then it will all be a mess when we wake up tomorrow morning. You mean more to me than one night."
"Booth," the sound of his name on her lips made him tremble. "I will still be here in the morning and if you'll let me I'll be with you for as long as you want me there."
"You mean that don't you."
"You know me well enough to know that I do." Booth began to trace circles on Brennan's back and she moved closer to capture his lips in hers. He responded instantaneously to her touch pushing her back on to the bed. Booth began pulling at her skirt wanting to be close to her. She was pulling at his belt their battles with each other's clothing punctuated by searing kisses. Once they had each achieved their goal of getting the other naked they paused for a second, fingers exploring the intricacies of their bodies, peppering each other with kisses.
"What did I do to deserve you?" Booth questioned sucking her ear lobe moving to kiss her neck.
Brennan answered him with a kiss as her hand guided him inside of her. Morphed together their movements were electric. Brennan moaned underneath Booth and Booth rocked into her each movement a combination of love and lust. As he felt her climax he released himself collapsing hot and sweaty on top of her breathing in the scent of her hair. Brennan stroked the back of his head kissing his hairline. Booth lifted his head to face her kissing her lips softly. He moved his hand to stroke her hair relishing the closeness they now had. Moments later he manoeuvred himself off of her lying on his back catching his breath. Brennan moved to his side resting her head on his chest her arm cast across his stomach. Booth wrapped his arms around her and lazily began to stroke her waist. He kissed her head, nuzzling her hair. They said nothing as no words were needed they just lay there holding each other as all of their fears melted away. The rain beat down on the window and they each listened to the rhythmic sounds of the rain and the rise and fall of each other's chests before they falling asleep neither lonely anymore.