This segment shows what the Akatsuki members (and sumore people, only 10 people is not fucking enough!) say when they're drunk... (I've had a few brewskies mehself, thank you very much...)
On with the (hiccup) chapter!
Your voice of (snore).
Itachi - Dude... Ever notice how the world is like... All black and red?
Kisame - Who are you calling blue? I'm cerulean.
Tobi - (Hiccup.) Kakashi-kun! Why did you (hiccup) run away? I only wanted to (hiccup) show you how much I (falls over.)
Zetsu - And when I was 7, I ate my mom 'cuz I thought she was a regular oreo, I mean, like, somebody we didn't know... And dad got all pissed at me and tried to like... Eat me... And then my brother was all like "Zetsu, you fucking ate mom! What the fuck?!" and I was like "As if you wouldn't!" and he was all like "Well, yeah I wouldn't! She'd taste horrible!" and I was like...
Deidara - When did my clay start exploding...? Seriously... I mean, it's like... All kaboom and stuff! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHERE THE HELL DID THESE MOUTHS COME FROM?!
Sasori - I swear to drunk I'm not God.
Hidan - Fuck... I'm so NOT fucking wasted... Oh fuck... Yeah I am... Here's my fucking keys... You drive us fucking home, fucker.
Kakuzu - I'm not drunk! I don't have enough money to spend on (hiccup)! Okay, yeah, I guess I am...
Konan - ... (Looks at fingers) Why do they call 'em fingers? They don't fing... Oh wait!
Pein - ... (Looks at hands) My hands... They're soo... Big... They can touch anything but themselves... (claps) Oh wait!
Sasuke - Naruto! Did you ever notice you had like... Whiskers?
Naruto - Weeeee! (Telemarketers calls.) No habla espanol. (But that means you don't speak Spanish!) Que pasa?
Sakura - ... Hit me (drinks)... Hit me (drinks)... Hit-OW!
Kakashi - I'm to cool to get (hiccup)... Nevermind...
Hinata - Damn it! I fucking showed you a liscence! I WANT MY FUCKING DRINK BACK!!
Neji - (Is asleep.)
Chouji - I DO NOT HAVE A BEER-BELLY!
Ino - Oh, wow... Sakura, you're forehead is just... huuuuuge...
Shikamaru - I don't get drunk. It's too troublesome.
Kiba - Lighten up, Shaky! It's a (burp) party!
Akamaru - RUFF!
Shino - ...
Asuma - Yes, Konohamaru. Drinking if very bad for children. But when you turn 21, it becomes very good. NOW GIVE ME MY BEER BACK!
Kurenai - And then that weird girl was like, "Why, Kurenai-sensei? WHY?!" And I was all like, "That's right, bitch."
Tsunade - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M ALWAYS DRUNK!
Nara : Okay, there we go. I know, that's not all of 'em, but I might at another chapter. Okay, the telemarketer thing actually happened to me. Here's how it happened :
"Hello?"
"Hello miss, I would like to talk to you about-"
"No habla espanol."
"But that means you don't speak Spanish!"
"Que pasa?"
"So you do speak Spanish? Well, I do too. (says something random in spanish)
"Que pasa?"
"(more random spanish stuff)"
"Que pasa?"
(he hangs up)
Naruto : Woah... That happened to me once...
Nara : FUCK YOU ALL, MOTHER FUCKERS! BAI BAI!
Sasuke : Dun cuss at your readers!
Nara : HOW THE HELL DO YOU KEEP ESCAPING?!?!
(Gags, binds, and kicks a few times.)
Nara : See joos all later!
I am there, but you don't see me.
I give you advice, but you don't know me.
And I will drop by to see you again.
For I am Your voice of Reason.