Chapter 10

Kendall expected to feel more betrayed, more angered, at James. But he just felt sad. He'd never even known that Katie had a crush on James. He hadn't known a thing, didn't have a clue.

Why didn't Katie trust him enough to tell him? They used to tell each other everything, so why had things changed?

Then, something even more heart-stopping: was the reason related to what he had done to Katie in her 13 reasons? Did he do something so bad that she had hated him?

Whatever he did, Kendall couldn't pinpoint it. He didn't have a clue what horrible thing he could have done to Katie. He loved her. He loved her, so, so much. So much. He would give up his life for her.

But she'd given hers up willingly.

Kendall had thought he'd run out of tears already, but every time he thought about Katie, his sweet baby sister, the tears seemed to come back. "What did I ever do to you, Katie?" He whispered to no one, his voice cracking.

What did he ever do?

He just wanted to skip to whatever tape his name was on, but he knew he couldn't do that. He loved Katie too much to not obey her last promise to him.

He really loved her. So what stupid thing had he done to make her hate him?

Kendall really wanted to be mad at someone, anyone, but the only person he found a reason to be mad at was himself. He wanted to be mad at James, he really did, he really wanted to, but he just couldn't.

James had done nothing wrong. Katie had kept this to herself, and James hadn't purposefully hurt her. Katie even said it herself; it was her fault for not telling. But Kendall didn't blame her for not telling, either.

But had Kendall purposefully hurt Katie?

Kendall wanted so badly to stop thinking about Katie and what he did, but how could he? As Katie's big brother, he needed to know what he had done to hurt her.

But at the same time, he was scared. Scared to find out how big of a monster he was. And even more scared because he didn't even know what he had done. Was he so cruel that he didn't consider his crimes bad? Is that why he didn't know what he did?

Kendall stood up and left his room. He needed to talk to James.

James was in his room staring at the ceiling, and jumped a little when Kendall sat down next to him on the floor. "Hey."

James nodded back. There was silence for a few minutes, and then James whispered, "Did you finish seven?"

Kendall stared into James's eyes; eyes that he'd always thought were beautiful. They were hazel with red in them, and sometimes, Kendall thought he could stare into those eyes for eternity.

He nodded yes. James looked away, and flinched away when Kendall tried to put his hand on his shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry, Kendall… I get it if you're mad at me, I really do, but-" Kendall stopped him.

"Shut up, James." James stared at Kendall, a crushed look on his face. "I will never be mad at you for something you didn't do. It wasn't your fault, James. Katie never told you, it wasn't your fault."

The two of them sat in the comfortable silence that came next. Finally, James spoke again.

"I-I'm still sorry, Kendall, but… thanks." James said sincerely. Kendall smiled back at him. He didn't remember the last time he had smiled for real, not just one of those fake smiles when some random lady came up to him and said "sorry for your loss" or whatever.

A real, happy smile.

And when James smiled back, Kendall knew that he had finally done something right for once. Finally.

Kendall sighed, standing up. James grabbed his shoulder. "Wait."

Kendall looked down at him. "What?"

James stared him in the eye. "Please… please don't be mad at Logan or Carlos. Please. If I didn't get your wrath, they don't deserve it either."

Kendall just nodded, not knowing what to say. After all, how was one supposed to respond to that? Kendall doubted anyone had ever been in a unique situation like his.

"Please, Kendall, please." James whispered, tears in his eyes.

Kendall nodded again, words not coming to him. "I-I… yeah, I won't. James, I won't get mad at them, alright?"

James didn't nod, didn't shake his head, just stared right back. But then he nodded, a small, almost non-noticeable nod. "Thanks, Kendall. I'm still your best friend, remember that, alright?"

Kendall smiled back at him. "I won't forget get, James Diamond."

To avoid anymore awkward and yet strangely comfortable silences, Kendall got up and closed the door shut gently behind him.

It was time for number 8.

line line line

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. It's time for number 8! Don't people say 8 is an unlucky number? But did you know in China, its good luck?

Ha, sorry about that strange fact about the number 8. I just wanted to make this educational, you know?

Okay, but for real now. Number 8. Oh, number 8. I didn't know if this boy, guy whatever, should have been on here, either, but he's had too big of an impact in my life. It's weird actually, because I don't think he… but he…

Never mind, it's complicated. You have to hear the whole story first.

Number 8: Carlos Garcia.

Kendall had been expecting it, somehow. Of course Logan or Carlos would be next, since James had just practically begged Kendall not to get mad at them.

But what had Carlos done? Carlos was the sweetest person Kendall knew. What had he done? But every time Kendall asked himself that question, it just led him back to the whole "What did I do?" question.

What had Carlos done? It was time to find out.

I bet you guys are surprised, huh? Carlos Garcia, sweet innocent little Carlos, could never do something horrible, right?

Wrong.

Don't get me wrong, Carlos, you're the sweetest boy I've ever met. You cry when I cry (which is really not good for your social status, I should know) and you're the one I want to be by my side when I'm having a bad time.

It's too bad you didn't feel that way. I'll explain later on.

So, yeah, Carlos, you are the most innocent and sweetest boy I will ever meet, so what could you have possibly done wrong?

Well, I'll tell you.

You were just too oblivious, Carlos. You were too gullible. You were too innocent. Well, I guess you still are,, but I'm just talking in past tense because I'm probably dead once you hear this.

You know back in number… I don't even remember which number, I talked about my dad and what a douche bag he was? Well, you know how when… the thing was happening…

You know what? Screw this. I won't make it easy for you guys to hear. When my dad was raping me, someone called. Remember that? How there was a phone ringing and my dad picked it up and said he was busy and that everything was fine?

Yeah, you know who was calling?

Carlos Garcia, yes you, Carlos, back when you were almost 12, almost my age today. You were the one who called. And I didn't just lay there waiting for my demise (though I should have), but I screamed as loud as I could.

"Help me! Help me, whoever's on the phone!" I had shouted that. And I had suffered the consequences.

My dad made sure it hurt. He beat me afterwards, too.

And the best part doesn't even come until later.

I'm positive you heard me on that phone, Carlos. You weren't big and strong and 13 yet like my brother was, but you could understand, couldn't you? You knew something bad was happening to me.

So why didn't you come help?

And you know that day Mercedes and her boyfriend took me to that hotel? Carlos knew about that.

I know you saw me in that car that day with Mercedes. And I knew you knew something bad was going to happen. But what did you do?

Nothing.

You did nothing.

I've been thinking about it. You're always there when something bad is about to happen, Carlos. Reason number 12 and 13 is just another example, but I can't go into detail about that, because then you would know who 12 and lucky 13 are.

You were there, Carlos, but why didn't you ever do anything?

I've come up with three reasons. You can pick your favorite one, Carlitos. Hmm. I still remember when my big brother called you Carlitos. Little Carlos, isn't that what that means?

Anyways, you were either too stupid or too gullible to know something was wrong (I wouldn't put that past you), you were either too wimpy to do anything about it (you are a bit cowardly, I'll say that), or you just didn't want to anything (which I don't find likely. You're too nice for that (note the sarcasm).

So it's probably 1 or 2. Thanks, Carlos, for always being there for me. And just because I know you might now detect it, that was sarcastic too, buddy.

You could have helped, Carlos. You could have saved me from this all. All of this. You could have prevented me from dying. And that was why I was about to put you as number 13.

But then I realized that I loved you, almost more than my big brother Kendall. You're just so sweet, and I can't do something like that to someone who has such a great heart, such a kind soul, though you didn't seem to show that to me.

And I don't know if you know, but Kendall practically treats you as his little brother. If someone so much as touched you, he would almost kill them. He loves you, Carlos, in a brotherly way. If I made you number 13, it would break his heart.

And I would never do something to hurt my big brother.

Except for put him on this tape.

So here you are, as number 8.

Carlos Garcia: The "Innocent" Bystander.

A/N- Hello people! I'm not sure if I can still update before I leave to go on vacation for a month, but maybe. I have exams next week, so I'm busy with those. I get one day at home before we head off!

So there you guys have it; Carlos Garcia. I guess what he did (involuntarily?) was bad and good at the same time… I don't know. What do you guys think? Drop a review telling me your thoughts!

Hope you liked this chapter, and peace, love, and giraffes,

Anonymous Skrtle