A/N: Hello all. Thank you all for the awesome reviews, I loved them all. Those that I've not gotten back to yet, I will. Meant to post this sooner but my daughter and I are both sick. Gotta love it when viruses get passed around at school. lol. I know we teach our kids to share and all, but really, they don't have to share everything, now do they? haha. Okay, here is chapter 10 hope you all like it. Brace yourself, it gets dirty. Take care.
Special Thanks to TabiPrewitt for getting this back to me as quickly as she she did. You are awesome and I'm very appreciative of all your hard work.
Disclaimer, cause its been a while since I posted one: I do not own anything pertaining to the HP universe, I write this for fun, for free, and cause a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. lol.
Chapter 10
Severus got back to his private chambers and poured himself a glass of fire-whiskey. Taking a seat in one of his armchairs, he took a generous sip of his drink before setting it on a table beside him.
Wand in hand, he ran it over the book again. Strong wards indeed, he thought. He tried to open the book, but the top cover wouldn't budge at all, not that he really expected it to. He started working at breaking the first set of wards.
It took him a bit, surprising him with how long it took him since he was very skilled in breaking wards, but he finally broke the charm that kept him from opening the book. Opening the top cover, he was met with random letters and numbers.
Frowning slightly, it took him a moment to realize that it was another ward set to keep anyone from reading it. He was smirking as he went to work breaking this protection spell too.
It took a little longer than the first ward had, again surprising him, but what next met his eyes had him frowning again. Everything was written in ones and zeros. But it had a pattern to it, like it was still words.
He first did a spell to tell him what he was looking at. Binary? Why would she have it written in binary? He wondered a moment before realizing that unless the person knew the code, they'd not be able to read it.
Not wanting to fool with it, especially since he didn't know binary, he sent a translation spell to it. Only to have a phrase in bright red ink appear over the words. 'This document is written in translation protected ink. If you attempt to use a translation spell again, all words written will vanish completely from these pages and nothing will bring them back unless you have the proper unlocking phrase. If you write the incorrect phrase more than three times, the words will be permanently lost forever.'
"Bloody hell." He mumbled as the words started to fade. "If you had this so strongly protected, why were you fighting Draco for it?"
But he knew why. If Draco did get past the first two sets of wards, he'd probably use the translation spell a second time, not believing it would vanish anything, and then try to figure out the phrase, making her completely lose everything written inside. With it being a journal, she probably didn't want that to happen. She would want to be able to look back years later and read over what all was written inside it.
Severus sighed a moment, staring at all the ones and zeros as he debated trying to decipher them on his own or seeing if he could break through the wards on it. Since he didn't know binary and finding a book on it would take time he didn't have, he decided to start working on the next set of wards.
Taking another long drink of fire-whiskey, he went to work. It took a long time to get past this protection spell. It was even stronger than the one before. But finally, he broke them only to growl in annoyance when he saw everything change to odd pictures.
"Sod it all." He snapped, dropping the book on the table and getting up to refill his now empty glass of whiskey. Pouring three fingers worth in his tumbler, he stared at the book resting on his table.
All of these spells she had on her book only had his curiosity about what was inside growing more. He'd told her that he'd give it back to her tomorrow, figuring it wouldn't take him long to get inside it, but he might have to keep it longer.
She'd be furious if he did too, more so than him just breaking through her wards to read it. Not that he'd really care for the most part, but if she was angry with him, he doubted she'd really sleep with him. Attraction only did so much for a person and if she was that upset with him, she might ignore her attraction and focus only on her anger with him. If she did that, he'd never get into her knickers. He really wanted in her knickers again too.
Sighing in frustration, he moved back to his chair. Setting his glass down, he picked up the book again. He again ran his wand over it to find out what exactly it was now written in. Egyptian hieroglyphics? Interesting choice, choice he thought. Not many would know how to read them and even if they did, it would take time to figure them all out. Brilliant. How many more layers have you got on here, I wonder.
He went to work again, painstakingly trying to break them. Only with this set, one wrong move and you had to start over from the beginning. Not taking him back completely, only to the start of this particular protection spell.
Intrigued even more, both in the book and its owner, he spent the next hour working on it. The pictures wobbled again, this being the third time so far, making him think he was back to square one again, when suddenly they shifted into normal words.
"About bloody time." He growled, still impressed at how difficult it had been to get through them all. I didn't think she was this skilled, he thought.
Looking at what was written, he realized he was looking at what she'd written on her first day of school. Huh, she's kept this even longer than I thought.
He skimmed over it, flipping through the many pages, not really reading most of it, just kind of taking in how much she'd actually written.
He spotted a section with his name and read how it was her that had set his robes on fire at the quidditch game during her first year and growled in annoyance. He'd never learned how exactly that had happened. He'd always suspected a student, but always thought it was one in his own house that did it.
Moving onto her second year, he again just kind of skimmed over it, before moving on to her third year. Pausing again when he saw his name mixed in with Blacks. Seeing how it had been all of them that sent the spell at him that knocked him out in the shrieking shack.
Bloody pain-in-the-arse brats. I thought it was only Potter that did it. He thought in annoyance as he moved over the words. Glancing over her fourth and fifth year, pausing as he came to her sixth.
He skipped over most of it until he came to her Christmas break. Finding the entry he was looking for, he paused to read it.
Okay, I did it. I slept with him. Goodness, I can't believe I did either. I knew there would be pain, all the girls in the dorm talked about their first times, but I didn't know it would hurt that damn bad. He looked at me afterward and asked how it was...I hadn't the heart to tell him how awful it was. So...I lied. I think he knew it too. He gave me this odd look and...I suck at lying. I don't know why I bother sometimes.
I'm not sure if it was him or me that made it so horrible. I've never failed at anything before and I refuse to fail at this too. Books have always helped in the past so maybe...if I study the topic, it'll get better. Let's hope anyway.
Severus chuckled slightly. She studied up on sex so she could be better at it. That explains a lot. He thought, moving on to her next entry.
So I did again. It was better, for both of us, not sure if I...well; I guess if I'm not sure I must not have. At least I didn't feel so damn stupid this time. I can't believe mum almost found those books too. No idea how I would have explained them either, she still thinks I'm my normal age too. She'd flip if she thought her seventeen year old daughter was reading up on sex, not that me being eighteen would be much better. Especially since she didn't give me the books. I think...
But it stopped there, making him think she'd been interrupted in her writing. He had a feeling what she hadn't been sure of, was if she'd had an orgasm. She was right too. If she wasn't sure, then she hadn't had one.
Moving on, he started reading the next entry.
Good lord, I might not have been sure last time, but I know I did this time. Granted, it happened before we moved onto the main course, as it were, but I at least had one this time. Hopefully, I can have one during intercourse next time. I have to say, he's got some talented fingers, though.
Severus found himself chuckling again as he went to the next one.
Hallelujah. Finally. I was beginning to wonder if maybe it was him after all. I know it wasn't me when he's been moaning and grunting in pleasure more and more each time. I'll be heading back to school soon, so I doubt I'll have anymore time to get to shag him again. Mum and Dad are spending the last few days at home with me, so I doubt it.
I know one thing though; I may have to loan him a few of these books so I can have more fun next time I'm home. I wonder if that would be considered rude if I showed up on his door step and just handed them over to him before leaving again.
Yes. Severus thought, smirking to himself. He'd probably not shag you again either out of sheer embarrassment.
He skipped over most of her remaining year. Pausing as he read over what Mad-Eye and her did to her parents that summer before her hunt. Again impressed at seeing that Mad-Eye had her do the spell, he only guided her on how to do it.
He skipped over what she'd written pertaining to her hunt and then the final battle. He didn't feel up to reliving any of that horror just now. Skimming over what finding her parents had been like, her worry over not being able to reverse it. Though he did pause to read a small bit about it.
Finally he found a new entry that drew his interest.
Chad and I finally had sex. It was good too. Not mind blowing, but a lot better than what I'd had before. It didn't take several encounters to get that orgasm either. Not sure where all this is going to go with him. It's not like he's going to be around after next month, but still, I might sleep with him again.
Okay, so I will sleep with him again. One thing is for certain, Chad really seems to know what he's doing. Maybe he'll teach me a few things before he goes. Couldn't hurt and I've always loved learning.
Severus shook his head before going on to the next entry.
Wow, we reached mind blowing tonight. The things that man can do with his tongue. All I can say is WOW. Who knew oral sex could be that good? I know I didn't. It had been fun before but holy hell...just the sounds he was making as I...returned the favor...good lord, I think I had an orgasm just listening to him appreciate my efforts. I know the sex afterward was hot as hell too. I love learning. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a lesson more. Glad I picked up those new books.
Severus was chuckling again, taking a sip of his fire-whiskey before turning to the next page and skimmed over a few entries. Chuckling more as he read about how much better the sex had gotten between the two. Though, with the way she'd described it, he was surprised at her disappointment at him leaving. Not just losing out on good sex too. She really had thought of the young man as a friend. He wasn't someone that had just scratched an itch for her after all.
All I have to say is that what I thought was mind blowing before is nothing compared to what Lance gave me tonight. I think I'm actually a bit hoarse now. I know I'm going to be sore tomorrow and happily so. Might be time to do a bit of brewing or at least finding out where an apothecary is and buy some pain and healing potions. Bloody hell, I never knew rough sex could be fun.
That had Severus' brows rising. She likes it rough? How rough are we talking? He wondered as he moved onto a new entry.
I just discovered something about myself. I always knew I was a bit odd, but really? A fetish? Who knew? I certainly didn't. Painful pleasure. That phrase use to make me roll my eyes but damn...I'm covered in so many bite marks its unreal. Lance is too. Good thing he's got the same biting fetish it seems I have.
Found out I can orgasm if I'm bitten right under my ear as Lance shags me too. Also found out that I like him biting...down there too. He bit my inner thigh and I thought I'd faint with what he'd been doing before, but bugger me, he bit my...clit...oh, that seems wrong to even write it, but he did and I think half his neighbors heard me scream as I orgasmed. It wasn't hard, just a tiny nip to it and...now I understand what people mean about seeing stars. Bloody hell.
Poor Lance, he's now covered in scratch marks all up and down his back. Well...maybe not poor Lance, he didn't seem to mind as he shagged my damn brains out. Too bad there isn't more than just sex between us. I could certainly live with being hoarse so much if we had more of a connection between us outside the bedroom...well, it's not like we keep it to the bedroom anyway. Still...it's a shame.
Severus found himself getting aroused at what he'd read. She likes being bitten. I already knew that, but she likes being bitten...how did she write it? Down there. Interesting. Might have to try that on her...no...I will try that on her, he decided.
He flipped through several more entries, his arousal growing more and more she got into more details. Her shyness at writing them was easing as he read about all the things that her partner did to her. His brows rising more and more as he read.
He got to a new entry, towards the end of her time in Australia.
Tonight was interesting to say the least. I find myself shocked actually. I can't believe I let him do it. When he suggested it, I made sure I had my wand handy, not sure if I really trusted him or not. He didn't see it since I had it disillusioned while it was in my hand. But oh my god, I don't think I've ever enjoyed an encounter with Lance more. I let him tie me up.
That had Severus' lips parting slightly in shock as he paused in his reading. She likes being tied up. That explains where she got the idea to bind me that night. He thought as he went back to reading.
Lance had my wrists bound to his headboard as he went down and not being able to do anything to touch him or stop him...it was so...erotic. That's the only word for it that I can think of; though I'm shocked I have the mental capability to think after what all happened tonight.
After I screamed twice at what his tongue and teeth did, he didn't release me either. He ignored me as I begged to be free, not from fright, but because I wanted to touch him. Then, he proceeded to shag me as I stayed tied. God, it was so good. The desire to just grab him and flip him over so I could ride the bloody hell out of him was pounding so hard inside me, about as hard as he was...bugger me, can that man shag me hard...and it only added to the sensations of what Lance was already doing.
After I screamed out my release, he quickly let my ties free, and holy hell did I ever attack him afterward. I'm not sure which one of us was more surprised at what I did to him either. I never knew I was that demanding, and he didn't know I was that strong with me being so much smaller than him. Even though, I don't think he was fighting me that hard to stop me either. He loved every single minute of it, if his lust filled eyes were anything to go by.
Needless to say though, I'm not the only one that will be walking funny over the next few days. I think I might have just almost shagged that man to death tonight. He wasn't complaining either, by any means. At least I know I have a few healing potions to fix me up, though I may swing by and slip him a one tomorrow in his drink. Can't have him injured for too long, now can I? Not with how much fun that was.
Severus' was still staring with his lips parted in shock after reading that. Bugger me, I think I might be in trouble with her. He thought before his lips started to curve. I think my rule just became null and void too. I don't think I can wait until she graduates to tie her to my bed now and see for myself just how demanding she is. Though I'm not sure I'd just lay there and let her have all the control either. That isn't me, as she'll soon find out.
He read her last few entries before she left, again noting her disappointment at her leaving and about their relationship not having all that she needed from it outside of their sexual encounters.
He moved onto this year at school, knowing it was very late in the evening, but still continuing to read. Seeing her thoughts pertaining to Weasley he was very surprised to find that she hadn't been that anxious to sleep with the redhead due to attraction, more that it seemed like the next logical step to her. She was more excited at what the encounter was sure to bring, than actually sleeping with Weasley.
She wanted that connection, wanted to feel what it would be like to sleep someone she cared about. She hadn't had that yet and with what she already knew sex could be like, she was sure it would only make it better. Even if Weasley hadn't been as good as Lance or Chad, she was sure it would still be better due to that connection.
Nitwit. You don't seem to understand that some skill is needed as well; otherwise the encounter won't be that good even with that connection you want. Though, you did make it very good while I was tied, so maybe you could still have a decent shag if you'd kept the reigns of control. Which you didn't, much to my delight that night and apparently yours, as well. Severus thought with a small smirk.
He flipped through more pages, noting that it took her days after their encounter in the cupboard to finally write about it in her journal. Though she was back to being more reserved in her description of that night.
Unsure how he felt about her leaving his name out of it and any real descriptions that might point to it being him. He didn't know if she didn't want to acknowledge that it had been him with how she wrote it, or if she was afraid of someone else reading this and knowing it had been him.
Is it fear of what you're idiot friends might think, or are you actually concerned with what position it might put me in if anyone finds out? He wondered. He didn't know and not knowing annoyed him.
But he came to her final entry and found his brows rose again.
What am I going to do about him? Part of me knows it's going to happen regardless of what I really think, part of me thinks it's a bad idea considering how he's treated me over the years, and part of me can't wait until graduation.
I find myself watching him, thinking about not only what's already happened, but what is coming too. That night...by the time I set him free, we were both frantic and it was really good. But...will he be a gentle lover next time? Probably not, though a bit of gentleness might be nice. Will he be overly cruel and harsh? Probably not, he wasn't that night so I doubt he would purposely hurt me later.
I don't think he'd be a selfish lover, though I'm sure he could be if he wanted to be. I know, with what I've already experienced, that I'll find satisfaction in being with him. So the question is what is the answer? I've already said I know I'll shag him, but...what about after our one night? Will he want it to go beyond one night of sex? Will I want it to be more than that?
If it's as good as I think it will be...I might be up for us sleeping together again after graduation. What about attachments? I've been able to keep that from happening before with my lovers, but will I be able to this time?
I've already seen that he can be more than what he shows everyone. Seen behind the mask of bitter words and hateful slurs. He can be kind, he proved that by telling me to listen to the rumors going on about me. Some might not see it that way, but I think that was his intention. The same with bringing me to see and listen to Ron and Lavender talking.
I know I was angry that night and glared at him like it was partly his fault, but I knew it wasn't. But he didn't have to show it to me. He could have just shrugged and walked on without a care in the world, but he didn't. Which is odd and interesting in itself.
I already know he is smart, he's proven that many times over the years. I like that I don't have to constantly explain what I'm talking about like I do with...well, everyone but Draco these days. I like intelligence in people after all, so that is another point in his favor.
I don't think I'd have looked at him in that way, had I not already shagged him, but I find that he is attractive as well. Most might not see him like I've been finding myself seeing him, but once you get past his harsh attitude, he is kind of...dare I say..sexy?
Severus found his lips parting in shock again. Me? Sexy? I don't think anyone's ever called me that before.
Maybe that isn't even the right word. Though part of me thinks that it is. However, I'll skip over his attributes, his hands, his voice, his very nature( biting as it can be), is all just reeling me in more than it probably should at this point. Since when am I attracted to mean people?
Though...alright, so he's not mean to everyone. Just those he really doesn't like. I used to fall into that category, but with how he's been acting I don't think I fall into the category of people he doesn't like anymore.
Okay, is it just me that finds it odd how much he's been talking to me lately? He's never wanted to hear my thoughts on anything before, not even in class when he asks for answers to his questions.
Is it because we had sex? Or is it that he's finally starting to see me in a new light, like I've started to see him?
Back to my original thoughts...can I keep myself distanced from him emotionally? I'm sure I could if I wanted to, but...do I want to? I guess only time will really tell. I know that it won't be a problem if it's only one night, but if it's more...I'll just have to wait and see. Even if I do start to see that connection forming, I might decide to stop it.
I doubt he'd want more than just the physical side to what may come. He doesn't strike me as the long term relationship or settling down type. Though...with what I know of his past...maybe he is. Maybe he just hasn't had that opportunity to do so.
What if it's him that decides to get all emotional on me? Other than be completely shocked...how would I even react to it? I'm not sure I think it'll come up, but honestly...I've no clue how to answer that. I'm still shocked just thinking about it.
Severus saw several dots, like she started to write more only to hesitate. He wasn't sure he liked her thoughts about him getting any kind of emotional attachments to her, but he couldn't blame her for her thoughts. He didn't show much to people, other than his surly nature. He couldn't expect her to really think he'd show anything else with her as of yet. Though he wasn't sure he would anyway.
But the fact that she was thinking about it was a bit surprising, even though he knew he shouldn't be. This was Hermione Granger, after all. She looked at all sides of things before she made any decisions, much like he did.
Moving on, since it does me no good to wonder as of now, since there aren't any emotional ties on either of our parts. Is this what I want? Another shag-buddy, as Draco put it? Though, neither Chad nor Lance were really what I'd call shag-buddies. But with him...can I do that? Though again...it's different. It's more than that.
I doubt I'm really a shag-buddy kind of person, not in the traditional sense. I don't just sleep with a guy. I don't just use them for sex. I'm...usually friends with them too. Talking to them, hanging out with them.
Plus, I don't sleep around. I don't see more than one guy at a time. It would be...a relationship of sorts, in the sense that it would have to be...monogamous. I would expect him to be faithful to me as long as...whatever this turns out to be lasts. I would, of course, give him the same courtesy. Even if he didn't want it.
I can't...cheat. Even though...I kind of did by sleeping with him at all, but that wasn't the same thing. It was an accident. I've never cheated on anyone or anything. I couldn't do it with him either. Nor would I put up with him doing so with me. If he doesn't want it to just be him and I in...whatever this ends up being...I doubt I could start anything. I have more respect for myself that just to be used and mistreated in any kind of relationship. Even if it is of a more casual nature.
But what about if it is only one night like he hinted at? I guess the monogamy part wouldn't really matter since it wouldn't be going further than one night. I don't think I've ever had a one night stand. He would be the first, that's for sure.
Can I live with that? I might have kept myself from getting attached, but they were still more than just one nighters. He and I need to talk about this more before we do anything. Set up any kind of rules or boundaries before we even think about having sex.
Hell for all I know, he might just want a onetime romp and that's it. But he might not. Is that okay? Do I want that?
Bugger, I'm just running in circles at this point and confusing myself even more with my thoughts. But one thing is certain after all of this. I think I'll sleep with him either way. One night or not, I think I'll do it. No...not think. I'm going to do it.
That was how she ended her entry. Severus pondered all that he'd read, using his wand to refill his empty fire-whiskey glass. She was right; they did need to talk before anything else happened.
He liked that she wasn't one to cheat; he was of the more faithful nature himself. He'd rather end the affair than try to hide having a second one while still in the first. It was a pain-in-the-arse otherwise, and as he'd said, he didn't like using people. He'd been used for years and wanted no part of such things any longer.
He didn't do relationships, that much she was right about, but only because he'd never really had an opportunity to do so. Lily hadn't wanted him, and his spying hadn't let him even try to have one before. Nor had he really found anyone that he liked enough to commit to in any way. Not that he was sure he wanted one with her either at this point.
However, he already knew she was a damn good shag and could see that he'd want to bed her more than once. Assuming she could fully keep up with him physically, though by what he'd read, he was pretty sure that she could.
He didn't think it was wise for him to regularly shag her while she was still a student; there was too many ways to get caught otherwise. But, if after she graduated she wanted to carry on with him, even casually like she'd mentioned, he could see him taking her up on it.
It would be nice to have a willing witch in his bed when he wanted one. It would be nice to converse with her as well, either before or after any copulation that the evening might include. He'd already been doing so, speaking with her on several topics, and found himself liking hearing her thoughts.
He'd only told her that he didn't make any promises about after she graduated because he himself wasn't sure he wanted any kind of emotional attachments. In telling her so, she would understand that it was more physical than anything.
But, a friendship of sorts might be pleasant. He didn't have many friends and none that took care of his physical needs. She was intelligent and he enjoyed intellectual discussions. Not to mention, he'd like to see if she did open her shop after all and would enjoy throwing in his own ideas in on it.
Whatever they came up with could just be as mutually satisfying as she said. If it turned into more, though he still wasn't sure he wanted more, so be it. Assuming she decided she wanted more as well.
They would have to make sure their rules or boundaries were in place and shifted to fit any situation they decided to let it become. He liked that she'd already realized that and was smart enough to see the need for such things.
He did find himself curious how detention would go the following evening with all that he'd read. Would she be embarrassed at knowing he'd read her journal? Should he try to put her wards back in place?
No, better to let her see that I know what she wrote and go from there. I've lived with enough secrets in my life that weren't necessary and she already expects me to try to read it. She'll have to understand who I am and not expect me to be anything I'm not. He decided; take me as I am, as she in turn expects me to take her as she is.
Seeing how late it was now, he knew he needed to get some sleep. Otherwise, he'd be exhausted before his final class. He wanted all his mental faculties when she came to his classroom. He was sure he'd need them, especially if she ended up being as angry at him reading her journal as he expected her to be.
A/N: Yes, he's very sexy, though that is more Alan Rickman than Snape from the books. Also, I was cheering his rule getting shattered myself. So hope you liked it and please leave me your thoughts. Take care all.