Thank you to everyone who has followed and favorited this fanfic thus far! I am honestly still amazed by all of the interest in this story! I also want to give a special shout out and thank you to MrsMellark74, Suze18, christyjosh4eva, Dell-Indilwen, Girlonfire5360, ilovepeeta4ever and the two guests that took the time to leave a review over the last two weeks. I absolutely love reading your comments and reviews! Please continue to let me know what you think of this fanfic so far! I really do appreciate it!
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**JUST A REMINDER**
As I have mentioned before, there are many characters in this story that are in the military. While much of what I talk about that these characters go through is based off of my knowledge (I am part of a very large military family and I have nothing but the utmost respect and honor for those who are currently serving and who have served in the past), due to the fact that this is a work of Fiction, some things have been altered from reality to accommodate the characters and the story, as well as the names of some places. If you have any questions or concerns please let me know!
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this eventful chapter! I have been anxiously anticipating this and the next couple of chapters for a long time! Please make sure you read the authors notes at the end of this chapter as well because there is an important announcement!
Exactly one week after Peeta and I learn we are going to be parent's is the Fourth of July and our final weekend together until after the New Year. We decided to tell our immediate families right away the day we found out because they all knew how sick I had been and they were anxious to find out why I was sick, just like we were.
Peeta and I also decided to tell Johanna and Gale that day. Johanna has been a big sister to me and Prim for as long as I can remember and I felt that she deserved to know right away, especially after everything she has done for me and my family over the years.
I wake up sick the morning of the Fourth of July, just as sick as I have been every morning since the previous Wednesday when this all began. The sickness hasn't started to ease up yet as Dr. Whitaker assured me that it eventually would, but the nausea does go away faster as each day progresses and I'm very grateful for that. At least I'm able to keep some food down now, the first week it was difficult for me to do even that.
Peeta, Haymitch, Prim and I are all going over to Gale and Johanna's place for the day and I really want to be able to enjoy myself. Within the next forty-eight hours I will be saying a temporary farewell to Peeta and I don't want to waste any of my precious time with him.
A little while after we eat lunch, we all head over to the townhouse for the get together. When we arrive, everyone is getting changed to go swimming at the pool. Since Prim can't go Peeta and I decide to hang back with her. It isn't that she can't get in the pool; it's just that she has to use special floatation devices to keep her head above water and she didn't want to bother with them for this get together. After a little while of watching everyone else from Gale and Johanna's patio, Peeta, Prim and I head down to the pool and Peeta pulls three lounge chairs next to one another so that we can all relax and soak up some sun while everyone swims.
After everyone gets out of the pool, Gale fires up the grill and before long the air is filled with the mouthwatering aroma of hamburgers, hot dogs and bratwursts grilling. Hazelle, Posy, Prim and I help Johanna in preparing the side dishes indoors while the guys stay outdoors and keep Gale company. Hazelle works on making the pasta salad while Prim and Posy cut up fruit for the fruit salad. I work on the vegetable tray while Johanna sets out the drinks and gets the condiments and chips and dip ready.
After we eat, we all sit outside and talk for a while. There are a few different conversations going on, but the two topics that seem most popular are the news of my pregnancy and Peeta's deployment. Peeta is all smiles when it comes to talking about the baby, but the topic of the deployment is a lot heavier for any of us to talk about. He does his best to answer everyone's questions but I can tell that it's not easy for him. The combination of it being less than forty-eight hours away and the awareness that he is not just leaving his wife behind for six months, but his pregnant wife and his unborn child is beginning to show emotionally on Peeta's face. After a while, the topic is changed for which I am very grateful.
As the sun begins its decent in the sky, we all grab some blankets, lock up the house and leave for the three block walk down to the field behind Panem Recreation Center where the city fireworks show will be held.
During the fireworks show, Peeta holds me in his lap with his arms wrapped tightly around me just like he did on the beach during our last night in San Diego. Moments like this where I feel protected by Peeta's arms are going to be one of the things I miss most while he is away. I'm not ready for him to leave, but who am I kidding, I'm never going to be ready. Life doesn't stop and wait for us to catch up. It keeps going and we have to face and embrace whatever comes our way, no matter how difficult it may be at times.
Before we head home that night, Peeta says his farewells to almost everyone. The only people Peeta will see again before he leaves are Haymitch, his dad, Prim and I. For everyone else here, this is the last time that they will see Peeta until the beginning of next year. As expected, everyone gets pretty emotional. I try not to let my emotions get the best of my just yet, I know that I will be upset enough tomorrow and Monday morning.
On Sunday, Peeta's dad comes over and helps Haymitch to prepare a big lunch for all of us. Peeta and I have decided that we will spend the first part of the day with our family and the evening and night together, just the two of us.
After a delicious homemade and relaxing lunch, Peeta says farewell to his father and they embrace in a very emotional father and son hug. I know this can't be easy for his dad. He has already done this once in the past, and with Peeta being injured last time he was in Afghanistan, I know the fear that it could happen again can't be too far from his mind.
Peeta decides to wait until tomorrow morning to say his farewells to Haymitch and Prim and shortly after his dad heads back to the bakery, Peeta and I head for Central Panem Park. Peeta suggested that since Central Panem Park is where we spent our first day together as friends, it would be fitting for us to spend Peeta's last day before his deployment here with me as well. Neither of us feels like sitting around, so we begin walking down the winding trail hand in hand. While we walk, we talk about the future. While Peeta is beyond excited at the thought that he is going to be a dad, I am still a little apprehensive about the whole idea. I know that there is no going back now and that I'm going to be a mother in seven and a half months whether I'm ready or not, but I have to admit that I'm scared. There have been so many huge changes in my life over the last three years and I'm not sure that I'm ready for another one just yet. Peeta assures me that he will be by my side no matter what life throws at us. He is realistic in reminding me that there are never any guarantees in life, but he says that as long as we have each other we will be okay. He promises to protect me and I promise to protect him.
That night, Peeta and I lie in my bed curled into one another. I don't think either one of us gets much sleep. We both lie there in some halfway land between dreams and waking, unsuccessfully trying to get some rest. I spend much of the night enjoying the feel of the summer breeze blowing across our bodies from the open window and the sensation of Peeta's body pressed tightly against my own. It's going to be a long time before I will be able to enjoy this feeling again, so I try to enjoy it now as much as I can. I don't want to forget these moments with Peeta, because the memories of these moments are going to be what get me through the long nights from now until January.
The rising of the sun announces that our final moments together for this year are about up. Peeta already has all of his things packed, so all that is left to do is to say his final farewells. After we get dressed, we meet Prim and Haymitch in the kitchen. Haymitch has prepared a breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon, but no one has much of an appetite. Peeta has to be at the base by nine, so after we all eat a little bit, Peeta begins his final farewells. As he embraces Haymitch in hug, I can tell they are both getting choked up. I realize that maybe it's the years they have spent in the military or maybe it's their way of trying to remain strong for me and Prim, because they don't let their tears fall.
As Peeta gives Prim a final hug, she starts crying immediately. Even though Peeta is my husband he has been a mentor and older brother to Prim for the last six months, so I know that this has to be hard on her too. After assuring her that he will be careful and come back to us, he tells her to take care of herself and me and the baby as well. She promises him that she will. My little sister really isn't a little girl anymore. Even though I have already started to tear up, I can't help but smile at the conversation between Peeta and Prim.
On the way over to the base, Peeta reaches across the center console and holds my hand tightly in his. This moment has come entirely too soon and I'm scared to let go. The coach bus he will be leaving on is already waiting when we arrive. The first thing I notice is how many families there are saying goodbye to their loved ones. Many of Peeta's fellow airmen not only have their spouses there with them, but their children as well. Less than a minute goes by before I realize that I am now like them, only I'm still carrying our child within me where it's safe. This isn't just about me and Peeta anymore; this is about our son or daughter too.
After Peeta has loaded his military duffle into the storage area under the bus, he comes over to where I am standing and wraps his arms tightly around my waist, pulling me close to him. I respond immediately by wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and burying my face in his short blonde hair. The fear that has been building in me over the last couple of weeks seems to take over my body and within seconds I am trembling from head to toe. Peeta holds me tight against his chest for a few minutes before he tries to say anything.
"Katniss… Katniss please calm down." He begins before he loosens his hold on me just enough that he can look down at my face and look into my eyes. "Katniss, please listen to me. We are going to get through this together. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but nothing worth fighting for ever is. I'm going over there to fight more than one battle. I will be fighting for the freedoms of this country and I'm going to be fighting for our family. You, me and this little one, we are a family now and I'm going to fight as hard as I possibly can to make sure that nothing happens to any of us."
When Peeta pauses, I notice that his face is full of worry. He's worried about me just like he was when he left for his first training mission after the New Year. I hate that he's worried about me, but I don't know how to reassure him that I'm going to be okay when I'm not sure that I will be. My biggest fear is that something is going to happen to him. There are so many unknowns and dangers in a war zone and I'm afraid for him. "But what if you…?" I choke out.
"Stop." Peeta brings his hands up to cup my face and stop my words. "Katniss, please don't finish that sentence. I certainly don't want to think about that and I definitely don't want you to be dwelling on those thoughts. You are honestly one of the strongest and bravest people I know and I know that if anyone can do this you can. I need you to be brave now, but not just for me. I need you to be brave for her as well."
"Her?" I ask in sudden surprise.
A slight smile creeps across his face as he notices me reaction. "I'm going to be thrilled either way, whether this is a son or a daughter, but as crazy as it might sound this early in the pregnancy, I have a feeling that this little one is a girl. I had a dream about her a few days ago."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, surprised that he would keep this from me.
"I wanted to wait until today. It seemed like the best time to tell you. So what do you think Katniss, can you do this for all of us?"
I know that I don't have much of a choice now that I am married to Peeta and am carrying our child, so I know that I have to be brave just as Peeta is being brave. "Yeah, I can be brave for us. It's only six months. I can do this for six months." I say reassuring him; only I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince more, Peeta or myself.
As our final moments together for this year tick by, Peeta and I hold tightly onto one another, bracing for the moment when we will have to let go. At 9:30 Peeta's commander announces that everyone is to be on the bus and ready to head out in five minutes. My eyes begin to tear up again as Peeta presses his lips to mine for a passionate kiss. We only break the kiss when we have to stop to breathe.
The air is filled with the sounds of crying and declarations of 'I love you' and 'I'll miss you' as everyone around us says their goodbyes. At the last minute, Peeta slips his wedding band off of his ring finger and places it in my palm. He uses his hand to curl my fingers closed around the ring and then covers my hand with his own. I knew that he would be doing this because he explained to me weeks ago that they are ordered not to wear any personal jewelry while they are in war zones, but the fact that he has now handed me his ring makes this even more real. "Protect that for me until we see each other again."
"Definitely. I'll keep it close along with the pearl." I assure him.
Peeta then bends down on one knee as he places the palms of his hands on my still flat and slightly firm stomach and addresses our baby. "I know you probably can't hear me little one, but I'm your daddy. I have to go away for a little bit while you grow in mommy's belly, but I'm going to be back before you come into this world to officially meet your mommy and me. She is going to take real good care of you while I am away and I know that you'll take care of her. I love you and I can't wait to meet you." Peeta presses a light kiss to my abdomen and stands up to pull me into his arms once again. I notice that even Peeta has tears in his eyes now.
"I needed to talk to her as well." He explains as he unsuccessfully tries to hold back his tears.
"I know." I tell him. "That was really sweet. I'm glad you did. You're going to be an amazing father Peeta."
"Thank you. And you are going to be an amazing mother." He tells me as he uses his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks.
As his fellow airmen begin to board the bus, Peeta pulls me in for one last kiss and an embracing hug. After his lips leave mine he pulls me even tighter against his chest and buries his face in my hair which is falling in waves around my neck. Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. It feels so good, so impossibly good, that I know I will not be the first to let go.
"I love you Katniss."
"I love you too Peeta."
"I'll see you soon." He promises as he lets go.
"I'll see you soon." I answer as he turns towards the bus and climbs onboard. I notice that he has taken a seat by the window closest to where I am still standing. When the commander climbs onboard and the door closes I see Peeta mouth the words 'I love you' and blow me a kiss. I do the same back to him and he gives me a big smile.
I know that I don't want him to remember leaving me while I'm all upset, so with all the courage I can muster up, I force myself to give him a smile in return. As the bus pulls away from the curb, I begin waving and so does Peeta. I don't stop until the bus has turned the corner and disappeared from sight.
Within the first seventy-two hours of Peeta being gone I begin to realize how different his deployment is going to be from what I have gotten used to with his training missions. When he was training, we were able to talk every day and we were even able to text each other back and forth whenever Peeta wasn't busy. However, with this deployment I've only been able to talk to him twice, once when he called from the hotel phone Monday night and once early Tuesday morning before his flight took off for the Middle East.
It's already Thursday morning and it's been over forty-eight hours since I last heard from Peeta. I have no idea when his next call will come either. With the morning sickness still coming on strong every morning and the nightmares returning with a vengeance when I am asleep, I find myself more exhausted in the afternoons than I have ever been before.
As the weeks go on, Peeta calls me when he can, but the calls do not come on a regular basis and unfortunately do not last nearly as long as I'd like. He doesn't tell me much about where he is or what's going on over in Afghanistan because he is not permitted to, but he is always anxious to hear about me and our baby. He always asks about his father, his brothers, our friends, Prim and Haymitch too. Peeta and I also begin to write letters and emails to one another on the days that we don't get to talk on the phone. The mail is not extremely reliable overseas so we do not always get the letters in a normal time frame or in chronological order. Sometimes we even get more than one letter a day, even if they were mailed on different days.
Once in a while we even get to talk to one another over Skype. These days are the best days because seeing him on the computer screen is even better than talking to him on the phone.
Sometime around the second week of August the morning sickness goes away and for that I am very thankful. I am also seeing Dr. Whitaker once a month now and our baby is growing and developing more and more every day. She prints me out ultrasound photos every month and I send copies of them to Peeta with my letters so that he can see our baby like I am. Dr. Whitaker assures me that our baby seems to be very healthy and that I have nothing to worry about. Her only concern is how I am dealing with Peeta being deployed. She continually monitors my blood work to make sure that the stress I am feeling is not affecting me or the baby. Dr. Whitaker also tells me that I should be okay to continue working full time for right now unless I begin to feel that forty hours a week is too much to handle.
As the days, weeks and months go by, I try not to dwell too heavily on what Peeta might be doing at any given moment, but it becomes increasingly difficult the longer we are apart. All I can think about is how much I miss him. My family and friends do their best to include me in as much of their day to day activities as they can. Spending time with all of them is a good distraction from all my concerns and my worrying about Peeta, especially on days when I don't have to go in to work and have nothing else going on in my own life. I am very thankful to have so many friends and family members that care about me. If it wasn't for them, I honestly don't know how I would be doing at this point.
Haymitch, Prim and I spend a lot of time doing family activities together and Prim and I even get to have a lot of sister bonding time, something I've really missed since Prim started college and Peeta and I started spending more and more time together. I also visit Peeta's father at the bakery at least once a week. He enjoys my company and is very excited to meet his newest grandchild. Johanna and Gale are always either over at my house, inviting me to go out with them, or inviting me over to their place. Prim and I still go over there together every month for our monthly taco, game and movie night as well.
By the middle of September, I begin to notice that my clothes are getting tight and my breasts are getting larger. When I tell Prim and Johanna that I am going to need to go clothes shopping, they are both very excited and immediately begin planning a girl's day at the mall. Even I get excited when I notice that I can now see and feel a small baby bump beginning to show. While I'm talking to Peeta one night on Skype, I raise my shirt up to show him the bump and he gets so excited that he nearly falls backwards in the chair he is sitting in.
At my twenty week appointment during the second week of October, Dr. Whitaker tells me that the baby is growing and developing at a good rate and that everything with my body seems to be okay for now. She is fully aware of the extra stress and worry I am feeling while Peeta is deployed so she is monitoring me very closely, especially now that I am well into my second trimester. She also informs me that she has a good view of the baby and can tell me if it's a boy or a girl if I would like to know. As much as I am anxious to find out what the gender is, Peeta and I have agreed that we would like to wait until he comes home so that we can find out together. She completely understands and does not bring it up again. I have to admit that it gives me a weird feeling knowing that someone else knows if our baby is a boy or a girl while I don't, but deep down I know that I don't want to find out until we can find out together. Before I leave the office that day Dr. Whitaker explains that normally women begin to feel their babies kick between the eighteenth and twenty-second weeks of pregnancy and that I should be feeling the baby kick very soon. This both excites me and saddens me because I desperately wish that Peeta could be with me for these milestones of the pregnancy. After all there is only one first kick.
Four days later Peeta and I get to have one of our Skype dates. They don't happen very often but I always get really excited when they do. As I am filling Peeta in on everything that I found out from Dr. Whitaker at the twenty week appointment I begin feeling a flutter in my abdomen. When I stop talking mid-sentence and place both of my hands on my growing belly Peeta begins to panic.
"Katniss! What's wrong? Are you alright? Is it the baby?"
"Yeah… yeah Peeta I'm fine. I think I just felt the first kick." I say. It isn't painful, but I can definitely tell that the fluttering is coming from the baby.
Peeta's eyes begin to tear up immediately. "Really? I wish more than anything I could be with you and our child right now."
"Yeah. This is an amazing feeling! I mean I've known for months that there is a baby growing inside me, but this… this movement lets me know this is real. That our baby is alive and getting closer and closer to meeting us."
"Katniss, I promise you, this baby is as real as you and me. I'm going to be back with you before you know it and together we are going to be the best parents this baby could ask for. You, me and this child, we are going to be a family and I don't want to be away from the two of you for this long ever again."
As the holidays continue to get closer and closer, I begin to miss Peeta even more. The holidays make not having your loved ones around even more difficult because holidays are a time for family. Prim and I have had a difficult time celebrating the holidays since we lost our parents, so now I am really dreading them with Peeta on the other side of the world. Peeta and I decided before he left that we would wait and celebrate our Thanksgiving and our Christmas when he returns after the New Year. This is our first holiday season as husband and wife and neither one of us want to celebrate without the other.
With Prim back in school for her sophomore year of college, we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like, so we both really look forward to the weekends and to the monthly taco, game and movie night at Gale and Johanna's. We plan the November get together for the second Friday of the month. By late that afternoon, Prim is already really tired because she had to stay up really late the night before studying for a major exam. She tries her best to stay up with us because she has invited Rue to come along this time and she doesn't want to fall asleep before her friend, but as soon as Johanna puts the first movie on Prim falls fast asleep. Gale volunteers to carry her to the bed in the spare room so that we won't wake her up. When he comes back out he squeezes himself in between me and Johanna on the couch.
Just before one in the morning Gale's cell phone begins to ring in the pocket of his cargo shorts. When he pulls it out and looks at the screen he realizes that it's Finnick calling him from his cell phone. It isn't very often that Finnick or Annie calls one of us, and it's very unlike either one of them to call us this late at night. They are eight hours ahead of us in Germany so they know that it's still nighttime here when its morning there. Normally we talk with them online, so when Gale and Johanna's gazes meet my own we all have a look of confusion on our faces.
"Gale?" Finnick says immediately. I am sitting right next to Gale so it is easy for me to hear the panic in Finnick's voice. The hair on my arms stands up immediately and my heart drops into my stomach. I know that something is very wrong and with Finnick being the one to call from one of the largest military bases in the middle of the night I have a very bad feeling that this has something to do with Peeta.
"Yeah Finnick, it's me. What's going on?" Gales asks with obvious worry in his voice as he leans forward in his seat.
"Gale, is Katniss with you right now?" Finnick asks quickly.
"Yeah, she is sitting right next to me, we are watching a movie. Why?"
"Gale, listen to me, do not leave her or let her leave alone." Finnick replies in a tone that suggests this is very serious. Johanna is listening as well and as soon as she hears this she gets up and sits back down on my other side grasping my hand tightly in her own.
"Finnick, what's going on?" Gale asks firmly, carefully saying each word slowly and practically daring Finnick to waste any more time before telling him the reason why he is calling.
"Gale… its Peeta."
Major Cliffhanger! I know! As much as I hate to leave you all waiting to find out what will happen, sometimes that's just the way the story works out! However, I'm trying not to be too cruel so as a special surprise I am deviating from my usual schedule for next week and chapter 10 will be up ONE WEEK from today on July 6th!
I hope that you have enjoyed this chapter, despite where it ended! As Katniss said in the beginning, life never seems to turn out the way we expect it too! If you have a minute, please leave me a quick review! If you would like to share your theories on what might have happened, I would love to read them!
Thanks again for reading!
Just remember, "…Whatever Happens Here, Whatever Happens Here, We Remain!" Christina Aguilera