It has been raining all day. Of all days to storm and thunder, it is to be decided that today was the perfect day to rain. I wonder what I did to deserve this. All I wanted to do was help Peeta. Save him from that hell hole, which now is impossible. I cannot in any way drag him along with me in the rain. I need to get away unnoticed, but two people in the rain, one possibly unconscious, that will be noticed.
So instead of going to the hospital, I'm in my room. In this stupid room, looking out of the window. The rain is clattering against the window and the wind seems to be going through the whole house, making it horribly cold.
Yesterday two men entered Peeta's house. When I noticed the two bulky men, I ran out of my house and knocked on Peeta's door. The man with the moustache opened. I asked him what he was doing in Peeta's house and told him that he had no right to come in there. The man told me it was on order of Doctor Grey. They were taking some of his favourite stuff to the hospital to entertain him. All I could do was nod and leave. So that was how life was now and how I dealt with it.
I keep wondering how long it is going to take until I can help Peeta. The day before yesterday and the day before that it had rained as well. Maybe the odds don't want me to save Peeta Mellark, but the odds never stopped me before and they won't this time. It's pathetic how I always have the odds in the back of my mind, but the phrase has literally been forced into my head when I was a young girl. Every escort would say: "May the odds be ever in your favour." It just happened naturally.
Maybe I'm too late to help Peeta. The clock is ticking and if I overheard Doctor Grey correctly, they're almost entering a new phase. A new phase means a step further from getting the normal Peeta back, but I need him back. I will go crazy if not. I know I need to be patient, but patience just doesn't seem like an option now. It's a race against the clock and patience will not help me get more time.
The woods are where I decide to escape. It's amazing how it can free the mind when it's going too many miles per hour. All I have is a bow and arrow and it seems to be the best thing I have ever held in my hands. Instead of hunting, I just sit near a lake with the bow and arrow in my hand. The lake of memories. The lake where my father would always bring me, a spot which I have never shared with anymore. It seems to be years since I've been here. It probably is. I haven't sit her (here) properly since before the games and the games are about two or three years ago. Time goes fast, but yet so slow. The rebellion was hell and I hate to remind myself of that particular period of time, but my life is how it is because of the games.
I look up to the sky; it's greying. Soon it will rain. I don't mind rain. I love the feeling of rain hitting my face and the lightning hitting my face. I can imagine the water of the lake bouncing, the stream going with full force. It reminds me of my father and Prim. How we used to go here in the summer and how my mother forbade me the sing the song. It seems like a lifetime away and maybe it is. A new era is upon us time, an era which should be peaceful, but is it really?
Instead of hunting, I walk around the woods. It's the first time I've ever walked around here and truly taken in how it looks like. The ferns and moss give the air an earthy smell. On the right there are animal prints, maybe a deer. From what I can remember when hunting, it is one. There are also birds and I can't stop myself from whistling the four note tune Rue once taught me and it gives me chills when the birds mimic it.
My last destination is the hill. The hill where Gale and I used to sit. How we feasted because we had real bread and how we mimicked the Capitol. It's so weird how it all changed. How Gale left me and the District and how I am all alone sitting on the woods. I think of the words Gale said that day, we could've taken off and live in the woods. Maybe Prim would still be alive, maybe Gale would be by my side, but would Peeta be there? Would I know him as I know him now? It seems unlikely since he was from another world back then.
It's funny how all of this happened, because I tried to save Prim and then she ends up dead. I was the spark the District needed, but it destroyed me. It destroyed everything I cared about. It killed Prim, it messed up Peeta's brain, it made Gale move and it killed Cinna too. It killed everyone I know, but somehow Panem forgot the losses, while I'm still stuck with all their deaths and losses. Maybe it's because I'm the catalyst of everything, but if it weren't me, was it going to be someone else? It should've been someone else, if it was, maybe everyone I cared about would still be alive.
The wind has started roaring like an angry beast then. The rain starts coming and it's hitting the ground like bullets from a gun. In only several seconds, above, the sky becomes black with menacing rainclouds until the cracks of lightning break the darkness, soaking myself in the rain once again. It feels freeing, the rain hitting your face. The wind is gusty, blowing in my hair. I twirl. I never was one to twirl, but it seemed nice and it is nice. It's deliberating, it makes me forget my problems, it's like the wind is carrying my problems away. Just for now, tomorrow it will bring it back. I smile and the rain becomes harder. Trickles and taps on the window. The thunder seems to shake the district and the lightning lights up the eerie night. It soaks me, but I don't care, because tomorrow it'll rain harder and I know I'll be too sick to even care about. The storm is giving me another day of not caring. It's the most amazing feeling in the world.
After what seems to be like a few hours I go back to Victors Village and I enter the house, soaking the floor. I sigh and strip myself from my clothes before I enter the bed. Maybe tomorrow will be kinder.
A filler since I've been very busy. Was quite disappointed about not getting any reviews, so please review. Love, Atlas! Also massive thanks to my beta and to you readers. :)