There is too much history here, and none of it makes sense. Too many conflicting stories. How does he keep it all straight?
I awoke with someone wiggling my foot. "I need a letter. Can you write another letter?"
I blinked sleep out of my eyes. "Of course, Cole. As many as you need."
The human man asked, "Who are you talking to?" while he looked around. Cole was sitting right on my cot!
"You always see me. How do you do that?"
I looked at the man who had never before spoken to me. "I'm getting up."
Walking outside, I asked who needed a letter. Cole pointed toward the new healer's area. Still in my nightgown, we walked that way. I snagged some paper and my pen as we went. He was a young man. It looked like he would live, but he'd lost his hand and an eye. I asked, as if to the young man, but expecting Cole to answer, "You can't write?"
The young man looked at his hand and shook his head, "Not anymore."
Cole said, "The words aren't right after the ink dries. I can read, but the writing comes out wrong."
"Then let me write the letters. You tell me what to say." Cole and the young man both looked grateful. I took down the soldier's words, and then I asked him what he was going to do when he was healed. He said he was useless now, so he didn't know. Useless?
"Who told you that?"
"Everyone knows a one-handed soldier is worthless."
"You've never met any pirates, have you." I launched into a heavily edited story of Captain Hook, where he ended up being a man deserving of the loyalty of his men, tormented by an evil fairy. I then moved on to explain that you don't need two hands to do most things in life. I left him feeling a bit better, with a letter to send.
"You heal hurts, too."
"I hate to see someone give up, that's all. I don't have your insight, Cole."
"It worked. Only a little, but he's better."
"Maybe helping a little bit a lot of times is a good thing."
"You still hurt."
"I always will. But you can't let that stop you from continuing."
"You wanted to die."
"But I didn't."
"He thinks you still do."
"Sometimes he's right."
"They're afraid to break you. They say my lady and build a wall. Nobody wants to be the one. You can't tell them what you are because you don't know."
"Do you know, Cole?"
"I don't know. Maybe? Tuatha de Danann. Dragon Lords of Anu. Daughter of Aine?"
"What?"
"It means you're more. And less, too, but mostly more. Also the ears. But it's a part. The rest is you."
"Darling, you're not making much sense to me, but I'm listening."
"I'm saying it wrong."
"Maybe I'm not ready to understand. Aine is a long-ago grandmother. Tuatha de Danann, Dragons Lords of Anu. These terms I understand. How you've made them fit is a mystery. Perhaps it's not time."
"There's a time to help?"
"To everything there is a season, Cole."
"Yes. I sometimes get it wrong."
"Not wrong, Cole. Just not yet. Let me think on it."
"Thank you for the letter." I just smiled at him.
I didn't invade the Chargers' privacy this morning. I was sitting at my own fire after breakfast when Krem showed up, Elias near him. "You didn't come by."
"I didn't want to intrude."
He looked uncomfortable at that. He rubbed his head. "Dalish said there was nothing there. Nothing there, and the dirt fell from the air. And you smiled, and it was eerie, pleased. She said, 'that one's dangerous. We need to be careful with her. I don't know what she's capable of.' Then you didn't show up this morning. Boss asked why we'd tried to piss you off, then."
"I see. I'm not pissed off." Hurt is different than pissed off. "I promise I won't disturb you, then. And I'll still make sure that requisitions are available in stores if I can. Just have your supply people send them by messenger. Don't worry about it."
"No, that's not what I mean." He sighed. "I brought you coffee." He held out a mug. I'd assumed it was his. I looked at it a moment, before he waved it under my nose. Meanie. I took it. Coffee smell is heaven.
"Are you sure? I swear it won't…"
"Yes. See you in the morning." He walked away. Now I have to go back to return his mug, if nothing else. Yep. He's a lieutenant. Bossy.
The soldiers and the free agents and messengers reported for work again today. I set them to start cleaning out some of the towers as well as finishing the outbuildings we could get to. They're looking at the pile of rubble below the ruined walkway, and figure most of it belongs up there. Should be reasonably doable, but take a while. Guy named Ansel says it looks like the causeway was collapsed on purpose. Expected soot, found none.
A lot of the leftover stairways and so on in the towers are not salvageable. Had the soldiers pull them down. It's interesting to watch the soldiers moaning and groaning about sore muscles. Thought you boys were in shape, did you? Now you're using working muscles instead of fighting muscles. Noticed my elves not complaining. May have to work up some sort of treat. I'll investigate stores later.
Cullen's down at the bottom of the stairs, where I expected. Some recruits have started drilling again. New people. While I was watching, one of them was pushed back, bumping into the Commander's table. Spilled ink everywhere. I didn't think our innocent Cully knew those words. He was trying to mop up the mess, the recruit having been hauled off to practice more, when I came up. "You should call that boy back."
"Why?"
"Because he missed a spot. That page is entirely covered with ink, except for that corner. If he's going to do something, he should do it thoroughly, right?" Cullen didn't smile, but the corners of his eyes crinkled. "I hope it wasn't important."
"It probably was. I'm not sure what half this paperwork is."
"You left it too long, bellowing at Leliana. Paperwork is like bunnies. They both multiply unexpectedly quickly."
"I was mostly bellowing at Cassandra, but you're right. You gave us quite the wake-up call. We have things under control, now. Waiting on some special supplies to come in."
"I wasn't trying to wake you up. I was just trying to protect my people. Waking you up was a bonus."
"Well, whatever it was, we're on track again."
"Good. It'd be a shame to see the Inquisition lose to Corypheus due to infighting."
"We won't let that happen, my Lady."
"Why does everyone do that?"
"What?"
"Assault me with a title that's not mine?"
"I think it's your bearing, honestly. You stand there and it just slips out."
"I see. So I should slouch more."
"That's... not what I meant."
"I know. See you around, Commander."
I visited Seggrit. He was frustrated with a letter he'd gotten from the Merchant's Guild. "They're sending someone else. Someone fancy."
"Does that mean you're out of a job?"
"The Inquisition's supply will be handled by someone more pleasing to a noble like Trevelyan."
"Shows what they know. How's this. I refuse to deal with someone I don't know. I know Ethelathe's not very big, but if you could help us negotiate for our supplies, I'd appreciate it. I'm horrible at haggling. I tend to just pay the asking price."
He was displeased. "You paid the asking price at my table?"
"Well, yes."
"Sweet Maker. I'll do your negotiating, Chrissy. Someone needs to watch you. You'll bankrupt us all. You never pay asking price!" He ranted about on that note for several minutes, with my interjecting apologies and promises to do better. At least when I left, I felt better. Thinking about it, it would explain both why he's still in Skyhold and why he's a bit snarky at the Inquisitor later. He's still here because we need him. And Mika's here. That might have something to do with it.
Lots of people arrived today. It's like the reputation of Haven kept people away. Skyhold is a new and unique and mysterious place. Everyone wants to visit. Probably a hundred people from different places. I had them set up down below, with the others. Worker bees can be vetted by Leliana's people. No elves have come up so far, or I might have a different opinion. We're now at 49 elves, and probably 500 plus humans. Plus an unknown number of recruits being trained down below. That's not my department.
Supplies expected tomorrow. I have to decide if this is a dry county or not. Do I nearbeerify the incoming alcohol? I'm figuring no. The tavern's going to need stuff, and it should be up in no more than two weeks. The cleanout is almost done. Half the stairs were rotten, but the floors were generally sound. Ish. The railings are in terrible shape, and the building itself needs some work. Lots of wood incoming, too. Have to figure where to put that. Foodstuffs, basic furniture. We'll probably make most of that last one. Fancier furniture for the noble spots.
We've uncovered at least fifty bedrooms, as well as several rooms that look like dormitories. Far more than you see in game. This place is huge. Haven't made it to the garden yet. Door won't open. Probably blocked by something. Or someone, I suppose. Wonder what might be in there he doesn't want us to see? I have a feeling we're cleaning up after he cleans out. It's going to take a while to get this place habitable.
Cassandra came by at the end of the day for my lists again. She thanked me for being on top of things. Not a word was said about the other day. She handed me some keys on a large ring, for the doors we've restored, telling me which went to what door. Temporary stores, guardhouse, main hall, bedroom wing, the door that I know leads to the prison that we've not cleaned out enough to investigate yet, some others. Told me that the people will probably come to me to get things opened. Ooookayyy. I am the keymaster. Just need to find my gatekeeper. All hail GOZER the Destroyer.
Dinner, singing, talking about the first day of school with the mage kids. Apparently the mage kids are not permitted playtime. Everyone needs recess. And three are elves. I may just claim them. I'm thinking about it. Dorian has scooted his cot next to mine. The cots are too small, and I'm only using half of mine. So I guess I'm sort of sharing. Besides, I'm warm, he says, and he thought I might prefer to sleep next to someone. He remembers hearing that, but not from where. Thank you, Cole.