Wow, sorry guys. This has taken me forever to write and upload. I know you guys were very upset with the whole teen pregnancy plot, and trust me I don't like those story lines either. (Breaking Dawn was my least favorite Twilight novel if that proves anything to you. I hated it.) So here's to hoping that you guys don't think this is god awful! Last chapter…
Blair splashed her face with water and stared at herself in the mirror for a long while. She was hoping that if she stared long enough the answer to her huge problem would come to her.
"What are you doing?" Chuck asked from where he was no sitting on her bed.
He had startled her and she turned around to face him, "Nothing." She wiped away a tear that had begun trickling down her cheek.
"Well what are we going to do?" He asked, referring to their bad situation.
"I don't know, Chuck." Blair didn't like him asking. How was she supposed to decide on what to do after one night? She doubted he had done any serious thinking. Obviously, he wanted her to do all the decision-making.
"Well…we better decide soon."
"I know!" She yelled at him, then frustrated covered her face with her hands and tried to breath evenly. "I think it's best if you leave."
He hesitated, not wanting to leave her like this, "Are you sure?"
"Yes! You're not really helping me." She crossed her arms and waited for him to get up and leave.
"Sorry." He muttered. Before walking out he kissed her forehead. He acted like he had something else to say but kept it to himself.
After Chuck gently shut the door she collapsed onto the bed.
Blair sat at the dining table as Dorota set food and coffee around her. She stared off, looking at nothing, but her mind was going crazy.
"You're so fucking stupid!" She screamed to herself in her head. "How could this happen? No! No! No! This can't be happening!"
"Miss Blair are you feeling alright?" Dorota asked in a concerned voice.
She forced the words, "I'm fine," out of her mouth.
"Mr. Chuck stayed the night?" Apparently, she was determined to get something out of Blair.
"Yes." Was the only thing she said in return. She didn't want Dorota to know about anything. She didn't want anyone to know about anything. She would need to convince Serena to keep her mouth shut.
Eleanor walked in a minute later, and Blair thought of how disappointed she would be.
Surely, her mother would send her to some other country to have the baby. She would say it was for her own good and she was only thinking of her future. But really it would be because she would be too ashamed to even look at her own daughter.
Eleanor sat down beside Blair without saying anything. She laid a napkin in her lap and took a sip of the coffee that was set before her.
Blair watched her and waited for her to say something, but she soon made it clear she had no intention of talking. "Good morning, Mother." She said in a bitter tone.
"I saw Chuck Bass leaving this morning," was her only reply.
"And? Do you have a problem with that?"
"Just as long as you're okay with being another one of his whores."
"It's not like that." She reassured her.
But Eleanor didn't seem to listen, "Sure he's attractive, but I thought you were better than that."
Blair clenched her fists under the table.
"Serena is the one who can pull stuff like that off, darling. Not you."
Sure that hurt Blair's feelings and made her want to scream and tell her mother to shut her mouth, but Blair was more dignified than that. If she lost her temper than the last strands that were holding her together would disappear and she would break down.
So instead she decided to excuse herself to hold it all together. "Uh, Mother I forgot that I was supposed to meet Serena for breakfast this morning. I'm sorry, but I don't want to blow her off." Blair explained while getting up from her chair and setting her napkin on the table.
"Oh, of course, dear. I completely understand. Tell her hello for me." She said with a smile.
"I will." She faked a smile back and headed for the elevator.
Once she reached the ground floor she ran for the door, she continued running down the sidewalk in any direction. She didn't care where she was going. Her life was over as she knew it. Nothing mattered anymore. She was no longer in control.
Even if she ran into somebody she didn't bother stopping. She stumbled once or twice but got right back up and started again. It was her only escape right now.
The breeze through her hair was gentle and nice.
She didn't stop until she was totally out of breath and by that time she was one block away from Central Park.
Blair took a seat on a bench there and rested for awhile. Luckily she had opted for flaps rather than heals today or her feet would have been killing her.
Once she was no longer moving, everything she had been running from floated back to mind. Pregnancy.
She wanted to die. Right then, right there. She wished the tree that was hanging over the bench would fall over and crush her. No-she wanted to have a death that would keep every part of her nicely intact, she wanted to be the most beautiful corpse ever. People would marvel over her dead body in the casket and notice how much of her luster and grace had stayed with her through death. So, she scratched the falling tree idea off the list.
Her life was falling apart before her eyes, she could feel everything slipping away from her grasp, and all she could think about was how much she wished something would kill her suddenly. Suddenly and not painfully.
And for the first time she really thought about the human life growing inside her. Parts of Chuck and herself combined to make another human being.
It would be amazing if she was ten years older and she was happily married to Chuck. But now it was just frightening.
Blair knew she couldn't do this.
Sitting alone on the park bench, she cried. Mournful sobs because of the revelation of what she had to do.
She wasn't having this baby.
Chuck sat alone at a bar with an untouched glass. He'd been mulling over whether to take a drink or slide it across the counter and leave for some time now.
He was a father. Well, not officially. There was no baby sitting directly in front of him that was calling him Daddy. But there was something. Something small that would one day be big enough to sit in front of him.
There was a choice to make.
If Chuck continued to sit on that stool and eventually put the glass of scotch to his lips, he knew he would never be a good father.
But on the other hand, if he let go of it and exited the bar, there might be a chance for him to care for another person after all.
It was really all his decision. Blair had to make the decision on what she wanted to do, but this was his.
Chuck thought of everything that had brought him to this. All the things that this dilemma was a result of.
Things like how his father was never there for him when he needed him the most, or how he'd tried to commit suicide, one time succeeding, and how it was the most selfish thing he'll ever do.
Then there was Blair. And all the things she had had to go through because of him.
It wasn't a tough a choice as he thought it would be once he considered that.
Could he really be that much of a prick to sit there and get drunk when the girl he was in love with was dealing with their joint crisis alone.
The scotch splashed to the rim of the glass when he slid it away from his hand. He got his do-nothing ass off the stool and walked out the door to find Blair.
There were no words to explain the fear that Blair was feeling.
Did she have doubts? Of course she did. Any human being with a beating heart would have doubts.
Did she feel as though she was being self-absorbed? She tried to tell herself that it was best for the baby as well, that nobody could grow up remotely sane with Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf as their biological parents.
Did she want someone with her at that moment? Yes. Walking alone to a place that she could only imagine was a horrifically unsanitary and frightening, she wanted someone with her terribly. But there was no way she was having Chuck come with her…but Serena. Serena had been her best friend as long as she could remember and she was just keeping her out? Blair shook the thought from her mind and continued on to the destination. Serena would only cloud her judgment. She'd attempt to convince her that this wasn't the right plan or it was too soon for her to decide.
Blair had made up her mind and she was sticking to it. She had to. It was the only reasonable ending to this fated mistake. Just make it end.
She was a stone cold bitch. Queen of the Upper East Side. Nothing could make her fall. She held her chin up high. She didn't care for anyone but herself. Blair was the only person that existed in the world, everyone else was just made up. She was the reason for everyone else's existence. She was a bitch.
Thinking of herself as cruel was the only thing enabling one leg to cross over the other and put her foot to the ground.
"Do you know where Blair is?" Chuck burst through Serena's door and demanded an answer.
"Uh, no…Is everything okay?" She eyed him up and down, curiously.
"I just need to know where she is. She's not at home, I've called her about a dozen times and she never picks up." He started pacing around Serena's bedroom, but then stopped himself. Chuck Bass didn't pace. The gut feeling he had was making him anxious.
"Well, why do you need to talk to her so bad?"
"Serena, are you that dumb? Blair is pregnant, she's not at home, neither Dorota nor her mom knows where she is, and she's not answering her phone when I call! What if she's doing something completely stupid without thinking it through?"
Without responding to Chuck, Serena picked up her phone, dialed, and listened to it ring.
"Hello?" Blair answered with a shaky voice.
"Blair! Where are you?"
Chuck stared intently at Serena's face to assess how she responded to Blair's answer that he could not hear.
"I don't want to tell you." Although she was trying to hide it, her sobbing was obvious.
"What? Blair, please don't tell me…" She trailed off and covered her mouth. She knew where Blair was. Just like Chuck knew where Blair was. He could feel it and now Serena could feel it.
Chuck tore the phone away from Serena before she could even try to hold onto it. "Blair, tell me where you are!", he commanded, "please." He added in a heartbreakingly soft tone.
As soon as Blair uttered the words out of her mouth, he tossed the phone onto the bed and tore out of the room.
Serena slowly picked up the phone, trying to hold in her tears, "Blair?"
"Serena, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you…but I knew I couldn't. You'd talk me out of it."
"I wouldn't talk you out of it if you knew it was the right thing to do." She wept silently.
"I knew it was. I knew that having an abortion was the best solution for everyone." She choked on the word everyone.
Serena let the phone fall out of her hands, because the word finally confirmed it. The whole conversation could've been a big misunderstanding until the word inevitably left her mouth. Abortion.
Chuck weaved in an out of business men and clueless tourists. He moved as fast as he could in the expensive, and somewhat uncomfortable, shoes he was wearing. He was heading toward the only clinic that he'd seen on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
He hoped and hoped for the possibility that he would get there before it was too late.
He'd already accepted his responsibility and now it was being torn away from him.
People screamed at him to watch where he was going while pushed them out of his way.
Across the street was the clinic. Chuck stood on the curb, but just before he was about to dart across the road, Blair appeared on the other curb.
She looked back at him with tear filled eyes. It had been done.
And without thinking about anything, Blair ran across the asphalt road towards Chuck.
Maybe she'd made the reckless move on purpose, or maybe it was a complete accident.
Chuck had no time to yell out anything to her before he heard the screech of the tires and saw the headlights on Blair. He closed his eyes and only heard a thud.
And once again, it had been done. There was nothing he could do.
He moved it what was a dream like state toward Blair. He didn't fully comprehend what had happened until he collapsed onto his knees and took her in his arms. She was covered in blood, but he held her as close as possible.
This was on him. He had been given a second chance to right his wrongs, but he'd fallen back into what had happened in the beginning. Only much worse.
He squeezed his eyes as tight as possible while rocking back and forth on his knees, he thought of any possible moment he could go back to change all this back. But nothing happened. The dead Blair was still tightly pulled to his chest. He cried into her hair.
He had been allotted only one second chance.
I know it was short, but I needed to be done with this totally uninspired story. I would love feedback. Rip me a new one, tell me how much you hate it…or also tell me if you possibly liked it.
I hope my next story, I don't know what that is yet but I do have a few little things here and there, will be as good as 'He Can't Have Her' and not disappoint. Thank you for reading.