The Cenobite Warrior
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my OC characters. Any other characters, items or otherwise written in this fic belong to their creators. I would do a list, but that would take up the whole fic.
Note: Hey people, sorry about the long wait, been busy with other fics and college work. But here is the next chapter of Cenobite Warrior, it'll be the first part of a two part special, where at the end of part two will be a big surprise...what is it? You'll have to read part one first. Also my friend laura101 has been feeling a little down lately, so I hope that this chapter can cheer her up.
Buster: I'm not even in this chapter that much.
Rurrlock: Well come on, Carrie needs her chapter to shine, I mean I left her out of the Valentine's Day special.
Buster: What Valentine's Special?
Rurrlock:...It can be hard writing non-canon fics to your own fics
Chapter 10: Let's Play a Game Part I
FLASHBACK:
Dark room with TV's and sadistically made plastic dolls everywhere, and that's just the stuff the kids will enjoy. Lined up in rows were stacks of all kinds of dangerous and unrealistic traps and equipment that looked like there were forged by Tim Burton on a bad day. But that's enough about the 'lovely' scenery, back to the TV screens, all of them showing the same thing; much like normal TV schedules showing reality shows...only this one is actually entertaining.
Carrie White stood in the middle of a dark room; joined along with hip hop pop star Hannah Montana, Britain's very own Chuckle Brothers, and the charming Hannibal Lector himself. All of them trapped against their will, but the man sitting in his seat watching the whole thing...Jigsaw. Pale and frail, so much so he looked like he could lose an arm wrestler to a twig...but he always has one of his traps do the work for him. But he couldn't have done this on his own, he had help...help in the shape of a demonic, leather wearer, pin headed priest that stood next to him.
''Remember to keep the girl alive for as long as possible'' Pinhead said in his usual cold tone.
Jigsaw replied in his grainy voice ''I find it very difficult to hold up on that bargain; this girl is one that I would defiantly love to see in one of my games, I believe that her chance of walking away and learning from her life's mistakes...''
''I'm not talking about Hannah Montana!''
''Oh...very well, it should be no trouble at all''.
''You remember the plan?'' Pinhead asked.
''Of course, the memory still here, for me to actually use as a flashback...''
FLASHBACK #2:
Jigsaw sat at his table, putting the final measures to his latest gadget; one for all those mail men that deliberately posted the wrong mail to the wrong people, it has something to do with dogs and we're leaving it at that. As he worked quietly, he heard the footsteps of someone walking up behind him.
''Are you the one who goes by Jigsaw?'' The person asked.
''And what if I am?''
''I am Lord Xipe Totec, Dark Prince of Pain and favourite son of the God Leviathan, and I am an admirer of yours Mr Jigsaw!''
''Is that so?''
''Indeed, your tools of teaching the accused the error of the ways has fascinated me, I too have the skill to punish those searching for which they want''.
''If that is the case then you surely must be here for my autograph, I get quite a lot of fan mail but you're the first to personal come and ask...
''I'm not here for an autograph''.
''Oh...very well, what is it you want from me then''.
''An assistance with acquiring someone I need''.
Jigsaw finally turned and looked weakly at Pinhead ''I'm sorry my friend but I'm afraid I can't help, have you ever tried dating sites, they offer really...
''I'm looking for a boy!'' Pinhead quickly got out.
''Oh...very well, well I have nothing against those things but I think I can't help...''
''NOT LIKE THAT! He is wanted by Hell itself for crimes against our lord and master!''
Jigsaw just stared at Pinhead, his expression never changing. He shifted around to continue working on his next toy ''Well I don't see why I can't help you, no one has personally asked me to find a target for quite some time. The memory still here, for me to actually use as a flashback...''
FLASHBACK #3:
''So how do you want me to kill this...Luke Flywalker?'' Jigsaw asked.
Boba Fett buried his helmet in his hands in frustration ''It's Skywalker! And I don't care how you do it, as long as it's nasty and stuff!''
''Oh...very well''.
Boba Fett stood up from his seat and turned to leave, just passing by Pinhead who was standing in the middle of the room bamboozled by all this ''Pins? Why didn't I think of that, oh yeah, cause I'm Boba Fett...instant cool'' The intergalactic bounty hunter mocked before leaving.
''Um, I'm confused, where exactly am I supposed to be in this flashback?'' Pinhead asked.
''Oh it happens sometimes when one person passing in my flashbacks, I have a lot of them. I remember this one guy who got caught, the memory still here, for me to actually use as a flashback...''
''No please, no more!''
(Rurrlock: Okay, before we get caught in the flashback storm, let's check in on our trapped rats...)
''We're going to die down here!'' Hannah Montana screamed.
''Positive thinking, good show'' Hannibal mocked.
''Hey, this isn't just about me you know, what about all my fans, my poor fans'' Hannah wept for a good long time.
But Hannibal didn't look bothered ''What's the big deal, I have more fan girls then you!''
''WHAT? Ha, I find that hard to believe old man. Girls scream with joy at the sound of my name!''
''Girls faint with joy at the sound of my name!''
''He's got you there!'' Barry Elliot spoke up ''Got you very good!'' Paul Elliot followed.
''Shut up, both of you! I'm the queen of teenagers, end of story!''
Finally Carrie decided to get involved with the argument, but she was on a more level headed response ''I can't believe you're all arguing over your fans when our lives are at risk!''
''We're celebrities skinny, fans make the world go around for us...plus a few million dollar contracts never hurt!''
''What?'' The brothers replied shocked ''They only pay us ten quid to do our shows!''
''HEY!'' Carrie screamed, and all of a sudden the three celebs were hoisted up in the air by Carrie's telekinetic powers ''Look, there was a psycho doll belonging to a psycho killer on a psycho TV, now we have to work together if we want to get out of this and you can get back to your fans and paparazzi and drugs and drinking and s...e...x!''
''Jeez, this fic is K+, you can say sex!'' Hannah replied.
''I know, but whenever I say it I blush really red, like tomato red''.
...
...
...
''The girl is right!'' Hannibal spoke ''If we are to see the light of another day, we must put aside our differences and see through this dark tunnel till light we shall bathe!''
''You have really crappy dialogue'' Hannah sneered.
''I know, I'm being written by a teenager. Huge step down from Brett Ratner!''
''Oh we don't know...'' Barry said first with Paul next ''Looking back on Rush Hour 3...''
Just then, a large gate shoots out from the ground; separating Carrie, Hannah and Hannibal from the Chuckle Brothers. Carrie had dropped them from her telekinetic grasp, and the three watched as in between where the two brothers were standing, a hole in the ground was opening. And just behind them, the TV switched on and little Billy the Puppet appeared, as Jigsaw's bellowing voice echoed.
''Hello Barry and Paul Elliot, I want to play a game!''
''Oh, what sort of game?''
''This is a video recording, I can't hear what you're saying!''
''But then how did you know to respond...''
''Look this is a video recording I can't hear you, is it that difficult to understand?''
''Yeah!''
...
...
...
''Anyway...'' Jigsaw continued ''You two have been inseparable throughout your career, never letting one take more glory over the others; well, after today, that will not be the case. You haven't been very fair to your fans, making it impossible for favourites to be picked, well now one will have the chance for all the glory and send the other to his...early retirement!''
''But our fans like us together!''
''Shut up and play hot potato!'' From the hole on the ground, pops out a large potato set on fire. It flies right into Barry's hands. He screams at the top of his voice, juggling the potato in his hands trying to get the flames as far from his as possible. It then dawns on him what he must do to stop this ''To me, to you!'' He shouts before throwing the potato to his brother.
Paul bounced the hot potato in his hands before quickly responding ''To me, to you!'' He threw the flaming vegetable back to his brother, both like professional jugglers were throwing the potato back and forth with quick pace, it looked like one of those Hawaiian fire dancers.
''To me, to you!''
''To me, to you!''
''To me, to you!''
''To me, to you!''
This went on for quite some time, so much so that the rest were actually starting to fall asleep, often one of them would wake up to check to see if one had killed the other yet, but it was still the same old routine. It became so repetitive and boring even Jigsaw, watching the game from his room, was finding it hard to keep himself awake; wanting to move the game on, he flicked a switch and the floor beneath Carrie, Hannibal and Hannah moved the back towards another room.
Once in the other room, the moving floor shifted and Hannah was separated from the other two. And just as before, a gate emerged from the ground separating her.
''Look, if its money you want, you can forget it, I've worked my butt off to get that money!''
A TV in the corner switched on, and Billy the Puppet was seen once again ''Hello Hannah, I want to...''
''Play a game, we get it already!''
The puppet actually looked like he was giving the pop star an evil snare, but just carried on with his speech ''You have been described as the main star for the 'new Disney'. You have won the hearts of millions, but have scorned the many more who loved the old days of Princess's, Phil Collins and 90's Disney. Now it is time for you, to face the old and test to see if new is better!''
''Bring it on!'' Hannah taunted cracking her knuckles. A microphone appeared in her hand, and in the background played the music to her hit song 'Best of Both Worlds'...
'Oh yea
Come on
You get the limo out front
Hottest styles, every shoe, every colour
Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun
It's really you but no one ever discovers...'
Interrupted, a new song started playing in the background, Mulan's 'I'll make a man out of you'.
'Let's get down to business
to defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
but you can bet
before we're through...'
''HOLD EVERYTHING!'' Hannah shouted stopping the music ''Why have I been singing this new age Disney crap, when there's been this many good old fashioned Disney songs!''
''But I haven't even gotten through the first verse?'' Jigsaw said.
''Forget it, you've changed me. See ya!'' Hannah shouted carrying legions of old 2D Disney films and walking away down another corridor, leaving the rest rooted to the spot, including the puppet on TV.
''Well...um...I wasn't expecting that to work'' Jigsaw stuttered unsure of what his next move should be.
''You make these traps in order to change people, and you didn't expect it to work?'' Carrie asked.
''Hey shut up, I'm getting old, it's hard to concentrate. And for calling me old, you shall be next!''
''What? But I didn't call you old, you did!'' But Carrie's protests were in vain, as another gate appeared and separated her from Hannibal. Lights on all corners of the room focused on her; she had to cover her eyes from being burnt out of her sockets. Just then, a metal door on the other side of Carrie's room opened, and a table was brought forward with something sitting on top of it. With all the lights focused on her, she couldn't tell what it was, even when the table was right up close to her.
Whatever was sitting on top of the table then spoke, in a dark but British voice ''How do you make a tissue dance?''
''What?'' Carrie replied not sure whether to be scared poopless or...no she was just scared poopless.
''How do you make a tissue dance?'' The voice asked again.
''I don't know...uh...strings?'' Carrie answered. After a few seconds, the lights faded; enough for her to move her hands from her face, and to see what was sitting on the table and telling jokes.
''You put a little bogey in it! Ha, ha, ha, BOOM, BOOM!''
''Basil Brush?''
Yes, the terrifying British shadow sitting on the table in front of Carrie was none other than the stuff fox puppet Basil Brush ''Hey, two elephants walk off a cliff...BOOM, BOOM!''
Rooted to the spot, Carrie just couldn't wrap her head around what this game was about. She has nothing against puppets or foxes, heck; she grew up watching his show. What is Jigsaw up too? And speak of the devil, a TV screen switched on in between the two, and Jigsaw's puppet Billy appeared ''Hello, I want to play a game!''
''Scrabble?'' Basil blurted out.
''No!''
''Monopoly?''
''No!''
''Mouse trap, your type of game there!''
''Just shut up and let me finish. This isn't even about you!''
''Of course it is, I'm the main character!''
''No you're not!'' Carrie said.
''Of course I am, this fanfic is called Basil Brush Warrior, is it not?''
''No, this is Cenobite Warrior. As far as I know, there isn't even a Basil Brush page''.
''Do you want me to bite off you...'' He then gets a proper look at Carrie ''Oh, you're a girl I can't!''
''Shut up and let me explain the rules!'' Jigsaw shouted making Carrie and Basil silent as they listened to the rules ''Carrie White, you have been described as a shy outcast, well today you will learn to be confident going into a battle with the master of jokes!''
''Wait, this game is to teach me to have better self esteem?'' Carrie asked.
Basil then began the massacre ''Well it shouldn't be too hard, how nervous you are I can see the steam coming off of you!''
''Hey, we shouldn't be doing this, we need to figure a way out of here...''
''Remind me to never see you when you're standing in front of white paper, you're so pale I don't think I'd be able to see you!''
''Hey shut up, it's not my fault, I don't get out much...''
''Why? Does the door keep hitting you on the way out? He, he, he, he!''
''Oh my, growing up watching your show I always thought you were a gentleman''.
''That's funny, I thought you were a gentleman the first time I saw you!''
''Ah, why I've got half a mind to come over there and...''
''Half a mind? No wonder you can't come over here; ha, ha, ha, BOOM, BOOM!''
''THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD!'' Carrie screamed.
''Oh...'' The fox whimpered as Carrie unleashed hell on him. She leapt over the table and tackled him to the ground; fists flying and legs kicking at the puppet that whimpered and couldn't resist coming up with some comment about Carrie's weak punches, which only resulted in her hurting him more and more. Hannibal just sat back and watched, and Jigsaw on his monitored watched ''Remind me never to get that girl mad!'' He said on the screen to the cannibal sitting under the TV.
''You kidnapped her, she will come and get you!''
Jigsaw's frail throat gulped as he watched the teenager emerged from where the badly beaten fox puppet lay. She walked over to the gate, and with the help of her telekinetic powers, she waved her hand concentrating on the gate, and it lifted out of the ground and high enough in mid air for her to crawl under. Once she stood beside Hannibal, she took a deep breath and looked at him ''What happened? I blacked out for a second!''
But before Carrie could hear Hannibal's response, another hole appears right underneath them, and both go shooting down the never ending tunnel slide. They were both sliding so fast down the tube that they both endured many painful hits on the side of the tube, before finally the bottom was seen and they fell into another room right on top of two chairs. Immediately after being seated, they were strapped in by many different chains and locks. Even with Carrie's powers, it was hard to break free.
In front of the two, Jigsaw emerged in his automatic wheelchair, wearing a breathing mask. His pale frail body made Carrie look like a bodybuilder by comparison. The old man looked back and forth between the two of them, as if he was picking out which one would be his first victim.
He finally shifted his wheelchair over a little so he was now focused on Hannibal ''You're a man that has interested me for a long time Dr Lector''.
''Charmed'' Was his response.
''Vast resources and incredible physiological knowledge and instead of using it for the greater good, you use it to eat people''.
''Is it my fault I have a sweet tooth? And you're one to talk, you try to help people, and it leads to them cutting each other to pieces''.
''But technically they do it to themselves, so you can't blame me''.
''You make the equipment!''
''But I don't use it!''
''You tell them to use it!''
''And they have the choice whether to listen to me or not!''
''Touché''
''I'm just too smart''.
''Same here'' Hannibal smirked and the two killers high fived like any friends would.
Finally Jigsaw turned to Carrie ''You have no need to worry Miss White''.
''I don't?''
''No, my employer needs you live long enough for his real target to come forward''.
''Look, my mum won't come for me, she doesn't really like me anyway...''
''I'm talking about Buster Daniels''.
''Oh...WELL HOW COME YOU DIDN'T KIDNAP LINDSEY? SHE'S THE ONE WHO WANTS TO GET INTO BUSTER'S PANTS!''
''Why would Lindsey want to do that?'' A voice spoke out. The three turned and were greeted by Buster, Lindsey, Zeke and Simon.
''Guys! How did you get it?'' Carrie screamed with delight.
''The back door was left open'' Zeke answered showing them the open back door just behind. Jigsaw muttered a curse or two under his breath ''But there were some mouse traps there as well'' Zeke explained further, and this comment was supported with Simon jumping up and down howling in pain trying to get each little mouse trap off his feet.
''No one has broken into my base for quite some time, the memory still here, for me to actually use as a flashback...''
FLASHBACK #...um...I've lost count...
Buster and co, as well as Hannibal was now all seated in an empty room. The walls all brown and mucky, the floor so dried up just walking around was kicking the paint off of it. While Carrie got into a bit of a spot with Lindsey about her in Buster's pants comment, Buster himself was in awe ''We are trapped in one of Jigsaw's flashbacks!''
''How do we get out of here?'' Simon asked.
''I don't know; even if we escape this one, he's got plenty more left for us!''
The group then noticed something behind them; in the corner of the room, surrounded by all kinds of wall paintings and scratch marks buried in the wall, was Pinhead sitting and murmuring to himself like he's gone psycho...and he looks it too, now sprouting a white beard and hair. He notices the group and looks at them like they were Jesus and his disciples ''How long? How long have I been trapped in this flashback? It's felt like years!''
''Well Carrie got kidnapped two hours ago'' Buster answered.
''Oh, it's easy to lose track of the time here'' Pinhead then made another scratch mark on the wall, underneath another scratch mark that said days, he numbered quite alot of them.
After taking a good look at this guy, Buster couldn't help but feel that this pin headed stranger was familiar to him ''Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?''
''Well you should, you're the reason I'm in this mess!''
''OH YEAH, NOW I REMEMBER! You're the one that was in the carrot soup and at the cinema, Pinhead!''
''I prefer the name, Xipe Totec!''
''Sounds dull''.
''Wait?'' Carrie said ''If you wanted Buster, you're the one who got us in this mess. We're stuck in this flashback because of you...don't hurt me for saying this, I've had a really bad day, I got insulted by a fox puppet''.
''I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that'' Simon said.
''No problem, with my powers I can get us out of here'' Buster lifted his arm ready to fire away his chains, but nothing happened. He waved his arm around, and checked in his sleeve looking for his chains but nothing was down there.
''It's hopeless'' Pinhead drew the group's attention ''Our powers don't work in flashbacks, we're stuck here!''
''There has to be some way out!''
''Only if Jigsaw gets hurt, but with us stuck here there's no way...''
BOOM! Just then, the group hear a loud explosion go off, sounds like the sound of concrete crumbling. The room around them changes back into the room there were once in; Jigsaw lying on the ground still in his broken wheelchair with his legs dangling up ''Ouch''.
''FREEDOM!'' Pinhead screamed kissing the floor, glad to be back in present day.
''Wow, that was lucky. Wonder what caused Jigsaw's wheelchair to break?'' Buster asked, unaware of the others around him was panicked looks on their faces as they were looking right at what caused the explosion and Jigsaw's predicament. Three figures; two women, one with a demonic face and big mouth...Jennifer. The other woman, leather wearing and scalp peeling...Angelique. The third was the little toy with the evil hi-hoi...Chucky ''Hey again, rematch time!'' But as if the three of them standing there wasn't intimidating enough, it was up in the scale a thousand fold by the army of living nightmarish toys behind them, thirsty for blood.
''I know...'' Buster shouted ''Jigsaw must have had a flat tire and slipped!''
''BUSTER!''
To Be Continued...
Rurrlock: Part Two will be up soon!
Buster: Hey Rurrlock?
Rurrlock: Yeah?
Buster: Can you give the readers a hint at what the super special awesome surprise in Part Two will be?
Rurrlock: No!
Buster: Just a little?
Rurrlock: No!
Buster: Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please...
Rurrlock: Okay, it involves you!
Buster: Cool! Does that mean I get a raise?
Rurrlock: No!
Buster: Oh well, worth a shot