I'm back! I think this might be the fastest update so far... how pathetic is that?

I think I replied to everyone as far as reviews go, if I forgot someone please tell me. I am extremely sorry if I did, but my email looks like a bomb went off in it. It pains me to even open it, it's so disorganized.

Usual thanks and spanks to my beta-fish, idealistic4ever and scubabe. Of course my pre-readers Joayla and wytchwmn75, I need them to make sure I don't sound like a fucking raving loony. It's easy for me to do.

The usual disclaimer applies of course. I don't own them, but I should with all the cockblocking I've been doing lately.

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July 8th

EPOV

You have got to be shitting me! I groaned when the door shut. I sat up quickly, and pulled the condom off... wouldn't be needing that. Katie killed my hard on. I tucked everything inside and went to do up my fly, but the damn rubber got caught, it was stuck to my hand and now caught in my zip.

"Edward, tell me who the fuck that was right this fucking minute! And after you pulled all that 'mine' bullshit, you'd better have a good explanation." I could hear Bella's voice rising as she kept talking. By the time she was done I was almost positive she had hit a note only dogs could hear.

She started furiously tugging her jeans on, and I realized she had forgotten her knickers. So, I reached down to grab them. When she snatched them out of my hand, I expected her to put them on. But, no, she just threw them in her bag. That wasn't fair. Now I was going to know she was walking around without her knickers on.

"Edward!" she yelled my name.

"Bella, love, take a deep breath." I reached forward and gently cupped her face in my hands "That's not my girlfriend, or wife, or anything. That's just Katie, my cousin," I said.

"Oh," she said. "Ohhh," she repeated.

And then I saw it. The light bulb came on.

"Oh my fuck, Edward! Your family! She saw me with my legs… and you were just about to… and what if you had?" She looked so damn adorable as she babbled. I had never heard a woman carry on a complete conversation all on her own until I met her.

"Bella, sweetheart, I need you to breath," I said as I stroked my thumbs back and forth across her cheekbones.

She slowly took one breath in and one breath out, again and again. When she finally seemed to be under control, she looked up and her eyes met mine. I couldn't stop myself as I bent forward and kissed her. I took my time and went slow. I reveled in the softness of her lips. I pushed my fingers into her hair and felt her press her body up against mine. Any thoughts that were in my head quickly fled and I had my fingers tangled in her hair. Her tongue pressed against my lips and I let her in.

And then there was a loud knock at the window. I swear if we weren't related I'd find a way to make her disappear.

Bella tried to jump back away from me but I kept my hold on her. She got that frantic look in her eyes again.

"Bella, love, look at me." I waited until her eyes met mine. "It will be okay. It's just Katie, and if she's smart she'll keep her bloody mouth shut."

"What do you mean?" She really was too adorable.

"I mean if Kate knows what's good for her she won't say anything to anyone about what she saw. I'm not the only one with some dirty laundry," I said, smirking at her.

Finally, a look of recognition came over her face. "So where in the B.F.E are we anyways?"

"What?" I asked.

"Bum fuck Egypt, it's a saying- like middle of nowhere." Oh, well that made more sense. Why didn't she just say the middle of nowhere?

"Kent," I said.

She looked at me puzzled, and then reached into her bag to pull out a guidebook. I plucked it out of her hand and threw it behind me.

"Hey, what the hell?" she said as she dove towards her book.

"We're pretty close to Leeds Castle. It won't be in your guidebook of London," I told her.

Another loud knock and I could barely hear Kate through all the soundproofing.

"Well thank the fucking lord, at least I'm not staring at your pasty white arse anymore Eddie," Katie said, throwing the door wide open.

"Nice to see you again Katie," I said as I stepped out of the car and turned to offer my hand to Bella.

"Who's the bird?" she asked, tilting her head towards Bella.

"Katie, I'd like you to meet my Bella. Bella this is Katie McAdams, my cousin." In typical Katie fashion she didn't just reach out and shake her hand, she stepped forward and wrapped both arms tightly around her.

"Well, Bella, it's nice to meet you. And nice to see you're smart enough to make my cousin put a hat on," she said as she stepped back from Bella.

I looked down, and quickly realized that in my obsession with Bella's lack of knickers I had forgotten all about the rubber caught in my fly. I turned instantly and tried to pull it out. I cursed when it slipped out from between my fingers because it was lubricated- for her pleasure. I heard a throat clear and finally gave up and unzipped my trousers to get it out. When it was free I tried to shake it off but it wasn't moving.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" I heard Katie yell. "If you shake that thing off in my driveway I promise you Auntie Esme will hear all about what her precious boy has been up to."

I had no doubt in my mind she'd do exactly that. So, I quickly shoved my hand in my pocket hoping it'd stay there, and prayed that I wouldn't forget about it. I turned quickly, keeping my hand in my pocket just to be safe, and immediately noticed Bella's gaze was focused on my crotch. She raised an eyebrow at me and shook her head. I raised one right back and focused on her bag, then looked back up at her. I watched her face go from pink to fuchsia in a matter of seconds when she realized she had her knickers stuffed in it.

"Umm… So, Kate, do you have a bathroom I could use?" Bella asked, biting her lip and turning away from me. I groaned watching her bottom lip disappear.

"Of course, and we'll sit down and have a cup of tea while I tell you all about growing up with Eddie," she said as she linked arms with Bella, leaving me behind to fend for myself.

I turned around and the driver was unloading my bags from the trunk. I shrugged and made my way to him to help unload my things. It's not like I had much of anything else to do. By the time everything was out, there were about six bags too many and only one of them I recognized.

Bloody Alice. Satan's minion must have had this planned for sometime. Hell, knowing her she probably had it planned before it even happened. The things that woman knew sometimes- it kind of gave me the willies.

Both of our arms and hands were filled to max with all of the bags and of course it wasn't until I was actually in the house that I remembered that Garrett should be here helping.

"Katie?" I yelled. "Where is that good for nothing husband of yours? And why isn't he helping with all the bags that Alice apparently felt we all needed?"

"Oh stop your bitching and just go put them away. Garrett is in London practicing with the London Symphony Orchestra. He said he'd be back sometime tomorrow," she yelled from the back of the house.

Turning, I looked down at the mountain of luggage in front of me. The driver had already left and Katie knew I'd never expect her to carry them. I was, however, tempted to leave everything of Alice's just out of spite, but realized if I put the bags away that meant I could get first pick of the guest rooms. Which meant I could put Alice as far away from me as possible, and ensure that Bella would stay with me in my room. I smiled and quickly started looking over the bags for Bella's.

"Wow, Edward." I looked up and Bella was just stepping out of the washroom. "Have enough luggage there?"

I looked around me and realized that because most of the luggage was dark- with the exception of the one that stuck out like a bright, red, sore thumb, it probably looked like mine. A second look at the red one told me it was Louis Vuitton, and I knew for a fact that was Alice's.

"I'm almost positive they are all coming here at some point or another. And certain that your's and Rose's bags will be with them," I said.

She rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath, which sounded an awful lot like "I kinda figured." I chose not to listen; something told me I'd have to ignore a lot of what she said.

"Where's the kitchen?" she asked.

I pointed in the general direction of the kitchen and as she walked past me. I watched her arse as she wandered towards the back of the house, until she disappeared. I made myself a promise right then and there to become much better acquainted with it in the very near future- like tonight, if I had my way.

:::…:::…:::

I was just finishing up with everyone's bags when I heard the sound of gravel crunching and looked out the window to see a Mini Cooper come flying into the driveway, skidding to a halt and scattering gravel. Oh shit, Katie was gonna kick off when she saw the state of her precious gravel. I ran down the stairs to see who it was and almost collided with Bella and Kate on the way to the door. I grabbed Bella's hand and followed Kate outside.

The sight that greeted me was not what I expected though. Rose stepped out of the car and shook out her blonde hair, while Jasper and Alice slipped out behind her, both looking a little green. It was Emmett, however, who managed to grab all of my attention as he practically fell out of the passenger side and started to kiss the ground.

"Oh, it wasn't that bad you big baby," Rose said as she walked around to Emmett's side of the car.

"The hell it wasn't, woman!" he shot back. "I didn't even know a car could do that outside of the movies!"

"I told you, Rose, tuck and roll, just tuck and roll." I heard Bella yell out from beside me.

"Peanut gallery, keep it down," Rose said without even glancing at Bella.

"Oh, hey, the love birds made up," Emmett said from his position on the ground. "And look, they're holding hands, it's so gosh darn adorable."

Of course, his comment shifted all eyes to us, and Bella tried her hardest to pull her hand away from me. I was having none of that, and gripped tighter, and took a step closer to her until I was able to slip my arm around her waist.

"Emmett, shut your bloody mouth before I shut it for you," Rose said as she marched over to him and helped him off the ground.

"Oh, baby, you know I like it when you talk British to me," he said as he stood up and dipped her into a kiss.

She came up sputtering and I silently sent out a thanks to both of them for deflecting for us. I could tell, already, that Bella obviously wasn't the type for public displays. Not that I could really blame her after the last one.

:::…:::…:::

Katie called it an early night. She had gotten a call from Garrett and was going to drive into London early to meet up with him. They had plans of spending the day together after his rehearsal.

Once we were all settled and I helped Bella get her bags up to our room- fuck that had a good ring to it- we all gathered in the kitchen. Apparently, the girls wanted to have a drink or two to relax, and we all agreed. When everyone's drinks were gone and none of us were showing any signs of getting tired, Emmett suggested we play a game- a drinking game to be exact. If there was one thing you learned about Emmett, it's not to agree to any of his games until you know which one and what the rules are. He's designed every drinking game known to man to end up in his favor. But thanks to the fact that we had all been drinking, none of us, not even Jasper or I- who knew better, said anything to the contrary.

The game, 'Never Have I Ever' was quickly thrown out there; Bella, Jasper and Alice quickly agreed while Rose and I had to have the rules explained to us. Apparently, it was some American game where everyone took turns saying something they haven't done before, and if you had done it before, then you had to take a drink.

Seemed okay… at first.

Things started out relatively simple. Jasper threw out, never have I ever kissed a guy. All the girls drank, along with Emmett, thanks to the last little indie movie he was in.

Rose said never have I ever kissed a girl and I swear my eyebrows just about jumped off my face and my jaw hit the floor when Bella took a shot. Jasper, meanwhile, got this faraway look in his eyes when Alice joined her, and of course all three of us guys took our shots.

As the game progressed the Never Have I Ever's got dirtier. Alice, Emmett, and Jasper all drank when Bella said skinny dipping. All three ladies drank when Emmett said faked an orgasm, and all three of us men winced and you could see the wheels spinning wondering if it was with one of us. When Alice said never have I ever deep throated, and Bella took a shot I prayed to every deity out there for my good fortune.

After that round of shots the bottle was empty, which would have been alarming if it hadn't been half empty to begin with. I volunteered to get the next one and quickly drank some water. I was feeling the effects already and I wanted to be coherent tonight when I took Bella to bed.

When I returned and the next round of shots were poured, things went south, fast. Alice started with, never have I ever gotten caught in a compromising position. Both Bella and I drank, everyone else snickered. After that Rose said something about visible marks after sex, Bella drank. I looked at her questioningly and she just shook her head.

When I noticed all the statements were directed at either Bella or both of us. I started faking my drinks and tried to get Bella to slow down or possibly stop but she wasn't having any of that. She sloppily pushed my hand away, and I believe, said something to the extent of owning her deeds. It sounded an awful lot like "loaning her feet," though.

When the next 'Never Have I Ever' referred to having a sex tape, I called it quits. Especially when I saw Bella's wince before taking her shot. It was still a sore spot for the both of us, and I didn't know about Bella, but I was in no way ready to joke about it yet.

"Alright, everyone time for bed," I said standing, trying my hardest to pull a very pissed Bella up with me.

"Same rooms?" Jasper asked.

I let out a very loud "oomph," when Bella fell back against me. "Yes, of course, and Emmett I put Rose with you."

"Edward, do you need help?" I heard Rose ask.

"I've got her. You go ahead to bed." I said as I scooped Bella up in my arms.

"Mmm, Weddie yous smells good." I heard her mumble against my neck.

Before I knew it, I felt her lips pressing against my neck and I willed my body to stay calm and not react. But I was drunk, and I've never been known to make good decisions after I've been drinking; case in point, sex in an alley. I still felt like a bit of a cad for doing that to her. I never meant for it to get past kissing. I just couldn't resist, especially after she practically sexually assaulted her dessert. Not that that was an excuse for having sex with her in a public place.

Was that her tongue?

"Bella, love, you need to stop," I said as I tried to tilt my head away from her. Of course she just wrapped both arms around me to hold me in place.

"Wedward, I wanna bone yous," she whispered not so quietly into my ear.

Thankfully, I made it to our room for the night and somehow managed to open the door with a wiggling Bella, who decided now was a good time to try and wrap her legs around me.

I stumbled over to the bed and barely caught myself with one of the posts at the corner of the bed. I tried to disentangle her from around me, but she was having none of that. She was like a boa constrictor; the more I struggled the tighter she latched on to me.

"Bella, sweetheart, you need to let go so I can find you something to wear to bed." Without warning, she let go and it was a good thing I was already leaning over the bed or she would have landed arse first on the floor.

'Oh, but I dun need anything," she said as she began to take off her shirt. "I sleeps in the nekkie."

I put my hand over hers before she could fully remove her bra. "Bella, you need to slow down. I don't think you're in the right condition for anything more than a good night's sleep."

"Weddie, come hang out with your wang out with me," she said.

I tried like hell to stop myself from laughing at her.

Her hands abandoned their mission to remove her bra, only to find a new one. Before I could even comprehend what she was doing, she had my trousers opened and was trying to worm her hand into them. I grabbed her hand before she made contact, because if that happened I wasn't responsible for anything past that point.

"Edward, we're nots gonna gets anywhere if yous keep stopping me." Well that was an improvement, at least she was saying my name correctly.

"Bella I think we should just go to bed, we can revisit this in the morning, when we're both sober," I said hoping she'd listen to me. "Now, I'm going to find you something to change into. Can you please try and be good?"

"Your balls have to be arctic they are so blue by now," she said.

All I could do was shake my head at her.

She stuck her bottom lip out at me in the most adorable pout, and I almost gave in right then and there, as long as I was able to nibble on her bottom lip while doing it. Instead, I quickly turned and rummaged through my luggage for something for her to wear. There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell I was going to dig through hers and risk finding anything lacy and/or silky.

When I turned back around, the sight that greeted me caused me to lose all thought. Bella was kneeling at the edge of the bed, completely topless with her hand down her open jeans. I dropped the shirt in my hand and took a step forward. I didn't stop until I was at the edge of the bed and she was in my arms.

Capturing her lips in a kiss, I picked her up and turned quickly so I was sitting on the bed and she was straddling me. In no time at all we were moving against each other and before I knew it I was so hard it was bordering on painful. I needed her before I exploded.

When we broke apart for air, she quickly attached her lips to my neck while working on my trousers once again, this time I sighed in relief when her soft hand made contact as she quickly wrapped it around me. Personally I wasn't wasting a single moment of being able to worship her breasts. In the alley there was no way I was going to expose her any further then I already had, and in the limo, we both only had one thing on our minds.

I didn't waste anytime in discovering her breasts. They were perfect, in weight and shape, as I cupped them. I let my thumbs stroke over her nipples until I felt them respond under my ministrations. She moaned into my neck and I groaned when her hand tightened around me before stroking faster.

The bed behind me was taunting me, and I wanted to taste more of her. I moved as fast as I could and laid her down on the bed, determined to do it proper this time. I took a moment to look her over. She was absolutely beautiful, but I wanted to see all of her. I managed to slide here jeans down and off her legs, which was actually quite a struggle, considering she didn't help one bit.

Once I had managed to get them off I started with her legs, making sure to take in every delectable inch of her. It wasn't until I got to her chest that I realized something was wrong. She was no longer breathing erratically, it was a more relaxed and steady rise and fall. I prayed what I was thinking wasn't true, but it only took one look up at her to realize it was in fact true.

Bloody hell, she fell asleep on me.

My balls were literally aching for release. Twice in one day was too much to ask any man to have to deal with, especially when they had a vixen in their bed. Sighing, I rolled off the bed and found the T-shirt I was going to give to her and somehow managed to work her arms into it without waking her. Frankly, I probably could have had a marching band in the bedroom with us and she'd still be sleeping peacefully. I changed quickly and turned out the light before crawling in next to her.

It made me feel just a bit better when she snuggled up to me and wrapped her arm around me, not much, but enough to forget about her passing out on me.

She sighed my name softly, and that was all I needed to hear before I drifted off to sleep myself.

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Ducks and hides. I'm sorry I had to do it, well I didn't HAVE to. I really do want these to to eff again. Edward is threatening me and Bella won't stop about Honey being neglected. Frankly it's irritating as fuck.

Next chapter will probably contain a couple of days worth, or maybe just one really long steamy day of fun rocking out with his ... out.

Dunno we'll see, I can be swayed by all of you lovely readers. So if you feel it's time for these two let me know ;)