That evening after supper Kaorin is outside with Sakaki, Yomi, and Chiyo-chan up on the railing where the clothesline is.
"Who are you all paired up with as roommates?" Kaorin asked, wondering who Sakaki is paired up with, but wanting to cover her thoughts with that question.
"I'm paired up with Kagura," Chiyo-chan answered.
"I'm paired up with Shinobu," Yomi answered.
"I'm surprised that you didn't pair up with Tomo," Kaorin smirked.
"That would have been a nightmare," Yomi said dryly. "But not for Naru, whom she's pair up with. You just witnessed what Naru's like."
"I guess that makes Tomo behave herself," Kaorin said with a close-eyed humorous expression. "What about you, Sakaki-san? Who are you paired up with?" Anticipation building within her.
"Sarah-chan."
"Oh, that cute little blond-haired blue-eyed foreign girl," Kaorin said in a tone of relief with closed eyes. Her anticipation now melting away as Sarah is not a threat to her.
"She's a lot like Tomo," Yomi said dryly with a wry expression. "Tomo, Kaolla-chan, and Sarah-chan make a wonderful trio."
That is when Motoko arrives with her sword.
"Oh, are you a kendoist, Motoko-chan?" Kaorin asked intently as she takes notice of her sword.
"Yes, I am. I am the heir to the God's-Cry School."
"She mastered the art at the age of fifteen," Chiyo-chan told Kaorin.
"Wow, can you show us an example, Motoko-chan!?" Kaorin asked eagerly.
For a moment Motoko merely stands there as if to contemplate such a request. Given her reserved nature (or more accurately, a reserved nature that she tries hard to emulate), she is not one who likes to show off.
But to answer their question, she casually whips out her sword in a graceful arc and cleaves a leaf in two as it floats past her, all without looking nor changing her stance.
While Sakaki, Yomi, and Chiyo-chan clap politely, Kaorin is a little more enthusiastic with her own clapping.
"Oh wow, that was amazing!" Kaorin squealed as those warm feelings flow through her chest. Her affections toward Sakaki now get a little dimmer while her affections toward Motoko get a little brighter, whom she now sees can actually be cool.
"Oh, Motoko-sempai, that was amazing!" A girl's voice squealed from down over the steps. Motoko looks behind herself and watches as Sachiyo, Emi, and Kikuko come up the steps. Her self-proclaimed fanclub. The Azugirls also look to see them as well. They met them before.
"What brings you here?" Motoko asked them, feeling annoyed at their presence since they always hang around her like mosquitoes. At times, she wished that they just left her alone.
"Why else other than to see the great Aoyama Motoko work out?" Sachiyo answered.
Kaorin suddenly feels as if she had been stabbed through the heart with a white-hot knife. Those girls definitely are affectionate toward her. She suddenly feels ashamed and confused over her feelings toward Motoko, a girl who is still practically a stranger toward her.
"Don't you three have anything better to do?" Motoko sighed.
Kaorin smiled inwardly as she feels a sense of relief. She can clearly see that Motoko is annoyed with their presence. This means that she doesn't have any feelings toward them, so there is a possibility. . . .
Wait, what made her think that Motoko might feel that way? Or even Sakaki for that matter? No! She didn't want to think of that possibility. Yet that suspicion made her feel a stab of loss.
Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Motoko groaning with frustration. She turns away from the others as she faces outward over the balcony, sword drawn and held high in the air. She begins her rhythmic overhead slashes as her sword swishes through the air, part of her routine.
"Ahh, so graceful and strong!" Kikuko sighed with awe.
"Yes, she is!" Kaorin agreed with absent-minded enthusiasm. Only to turn red and sweat drop as her eyes go as pinpricks.
"You agree too, don't you!" Emi said excitedly.
"Ah, I guess so," Kaorin admitted sheepishly, who then introduces herself to them.
As the sun sets, casting red and orange over the western mountain range, it is now time for Motoko to call it quits. That also makes it time for her fanclub to go home, much to Motoko and Kaorin's relief.
As Kaorin walks down a hallway alone, a door alongside her suddenly slides open to reveal Kitsune's room with the resident fox herself standing there.
"Hey, Kaorin-chan, what's up?" she asked casually as she leans against her doorframe.
"Oh, hello, Kitsune-chan, nothing really."
"Come on in, there's something that I wish to talk to you about."
Kaorin now feels uneasy. Kitsune had given her that look of knowing something about her earlier today.
"Come on, I'm not gonna bite," Kitsune said jovially as she waves her inside.
Kaorin sighs deeply then goes into her room. The smell of alcohol hits her as the whole room reeks of it from the dozens of alcoholic bottles in there, mostly of sake. Now she fully understands why she got put up with Motoko and not Kitsune.
"What do you want?" Kaorin asked as she sits cross-legged on the floor.
"Oh nothing much," she answered as she sits across from Kaorin while giving her that sly look as she widens one eye. "Clarity perhaps?"
"Clarity?"
"Yes, clarity. Clarity over the issue of your preferences."
"P-Preferences?" As Kaorin's voice cracked slightly while a tiny sweat drop streaks the side of her face.
"Yes," Kitsune continued with that mischievous look. "Preference over . . . some sake?" As she quickly whips out a bottle.
"Just a small glass please," Kaorin answered with relief as she glances upward with dot eyes.
Kitsune fills a small glass and hands it to Kaorin, who takes a swig. She really didn't drink alcohol, but due to the honorifics of their culture, she did whenever it got presented to her. If only one glass. She might live the rest of her life without ever drinking the stuff.
"There's also the issue of your lust for Sakaki and Motoko," Kitsune then said casually.
Kaorin spits the sake out in a stream then gapes at Kitsune with her eyes now hidden in a shadow as her face is blood red and her mouth is hanging open.
"It's no good to deny it, deary," as Kitsune continued in that humorous casual manner, "I saw it on your face whenever you looked at them. Heard it in your tone too. You're a lesbian, aren't ya?"
Kaorin tries to speak but cannot. Her whole appearance is like the time back in high school when she started Grade Eleven as she picked flowers over wondering if Sakaki loved her or not.
"Don't worry, I won't give you away," Kitsune said assuredly as she clasps her shoulder.
Kaorin breathes a sigh of relief as her expression takes on such relief.
"Ah, y-yes," she finally answered. "I am."
All during high school, Kaorin had never once considered herself a homosexual, despite her feelings toward Sakaki. But all of that changed shortly after graduation. One day, she came upon a large crowd of people in downtown Tokyo, which turned out to be a Gay Pride parade. It was at that moment when she had her epiphany. She came to the conclusion that not only did boys truly mean nothing to her, but if Sakaki had never existed in the first place, she still might have ended up developing a crush toward some other girl instead. Furtherover, her own feelings toward her own gender got proven to her each and every day whenever she saw females who reminded her of Sakaki. For a short while, it did bother her. Yet she was able to get over it and accept herself for what she had always been, but never saw it before.
"And you came here because of Sakaki-chan, didn't you?" Kitsune probed.
"Y-Yes," Kaorin answered sheepishly.
"How does she feel about it?"
"Sh-She doesn't know yet."
"Oh," Kitsune mused with a subtle and mischievous surprise. "Unrequited love. So when are you going to tell her?"
"I . . . I don't think I can," Kaorin gasped as she shivers with her eyes shut tightly.
"Well now this really puts you in a pickle," Kitsune remarked with a quirk of her eyebrow as she rubs her chin with her thumb and forefinger. "You have a crush on a girl who has remained oblivious about it, even to this day. Are you afraid that she will tell you that she's straight? Or worse, that she is like you but with her sights set on another girl perhaps?"
"I . . . I don't know if I can," Kaorin quaked.
"Well," Kitsune said as she leaned back. "The worst thing she can do to you is say no. That can be bad enough but at least you'll know your answer. Otherwise you'll live out the rest of your life wondering if she could have returned your affections or not. And that will gnaw on you."
"Easy for you to say, you're not a lesbian," Kaorin said sorely with an annoyed dot-eyed expression.
"I don't have to be," as Kitsune held up her hands defensively. "Your situation can apply with me and another man."
"Well, you do have a point," Kaorin sighed. "But . . . this is more serious for me than if I had been straight and in love with another man. This isn't a Western country, so being a homosexual is still very much a stigma. Ironic, when taking all of that yaoi and yuri stuff into consideration."
"Still," Kitsune trailed off. "You could drop some subtle hint to her of your feelings toward her somehow."
"And how do you propose I do that?"
"Oh, I don't know. Innuendos perhaps?"
"Whatever," as Kaorin stood. "Anyway, thanks for the frank-hearted discussion, but it's getting late and I wish to go to bed now."
"Goodnight," Kitsune said.
Kaorin walked to Motoko's room. She takes a deep breath and exhales before sliding open the door and entering. Two futons are set up across from each other near either wall. Traditional Japanese weapons and a samurai armor are at the back of the room, making the room look more like a dojo rather than a normal dorm room. A silk screen is off to one side and the silhouette of Motoko can be seen as she is removing her clothing. For a moment, all Kaorin can do is stare at her outline. Even in the silhouette, she can make out her tall sleek, yet toned and well-proportioned body. And yet she managed to be so graceful and feminine in her movements.
Kaorin feels that warm and creamy feeling in her chest as it seems to go two ways. One way goes up to her mouth as it causes a warm tingle in her tongue. The other way goes down to her stomach, where she feels a radiant heat as it continues dropping ever lower, right down into her loins where she feels a pleasant tingle there. This one stronger as it made her gasp. Her heart starts beating all the harder as she feels a rush.
"Kaorin-chan," Motoko called out in a casual tone. "Is something wrong? I sense a growing turmoil within you."
"Oh, uh, it's n-nothing!" Kaorin answered, trying to sound assured. Her face blushing madly. "I-It's just that I feel a little giddy about spending the night here, that's all. What with this place now being a girl's-only dorm and the manager being a man."
Damn, but she sounds a lot like Sakaki-san! Kaorin thought.
"Urashima Keitaro will not be bothering you with us around," Motoko said as she emerges from behind the silk parting. She is now dressed in a silk white robe with prints of roses just above her breasts. She looks more serene now, yet with a hardness in her eyes over mentioning her manager.
"He seems like a nice trustworthy guy," Kaorin said.
"Males are anything but trustworthy, especially when around us maidens," Motoko said in a flat somber tone as she walks over to her futon. "They tend to become overwhelmed with lust and end up trying to seduce us. Or worse, rape us."
"I take it that you don't like guys then?" A twinge of hope in her now, even if she did feel a twinge of guilt as well. She herself may be a lesbian, but that didn't make her a man-hater, even if Kimura had hounded her back in high school while the boys all respected him.
"Only those who follow maidens around like packs of dogs scenting a female in heat," Motoko answered. "Unfortunately that describes most of them. Let us just get ready for bed, Kaorin-chan."
"Actually, I'd rather be called, Kaori," she answered as she too begins getting ready for bed.
"Of course, the N at the end of your name was given in childish affection. You are a woman now, so you will want to be called as a woman, Kaori-chan."
"Th-Thank you, Motoko-chan."
Kaorin walks up to Sakaki upon noticing that she is alone. Her conversation with Kitsune still fresh in her mind.
"S-Sakaki-san?" She asked diminutively.
"What is it, Kaorin?"
Kaorin thought seriously about what Kitsune had told her last night. The worst thing Sakaki will do is just refuse her. There is a very strong possibility that Sakaki is straight and will refuse her solely on the basis of not being so much as bisexual, let alone a lesbian. This might make it more tolerable. And yet. . . . and yet there is a possibility that she might be a lesbian like herself, but refuse her anyway. That can prove outright devastating.
But not knowing is the most intolerable of all.
"I love you!" Kaorin blurted out.
Sakaki takes on a slightly somber look as her eyes widen a little.
"Explain?" She then asked curiously.
"I-I fell in love with you back in high school," Kaorin answered as her voice cracked and her eyes ripple with tears. "It started in Grade Ten."
"I see," Sakaki answered gently.
"I-I'm sorry," Kaorin sobbed. "I should have told you back then! But I was too afraid!"
"It's okay," Sakaki whispered gently as she strokes the side of Kaorin's face. "I'm glad you told me anyway. Because I've always found you to be a cute girl."
"Wha-What!?" As her eyes wided and her heart skips a beat as a weight flies from her shoulders.
"I think that it's best if I expressed it this way." And Sakaki leans in to kiss her on her lips. Kaorin's eyes go wide and feels herself surrounded by a field of yellow flowers. A bell rises behind her and rings, then a rainbow shoots up.
Sakaki breaks away with a warm smile.
"Kaorin," she whispered softly.
"Please call me Kaori, without the N."
"Okay, Kaori. And please drop the san from my name."
They fall down together upon the ground and kiss some more. They caress and neck as Kaorin is atop of Sakaki and their passions grow ever hotter.
Sakaki holds Kaorin up and away from herself at arms' length with a different look now. Her eyes are shaded and her mouth is wide open as choking sounds are now coming out.
"Sakaki, what's wrong!?" Kaorin gasped.
But Sakaki keeps that same expression and pose as she continues to make ever so faint choking sounds. She starts looking different too, as it also starts to grow ever darker. Come to think of it, didn't she just. . . .?
"M-Motoko-chan!?" Kaorin rasped as her eyes glaze over with fright after getting struck by the sledgehammer of reality.