Tonks had discovered a new love in her life, one that surpassed her devotion her career as an auror and even threatened that to her husband. It was a strange, passionate love, more a steamy addiction than anything else, but the feeling was true and pure, no matter how bizarre the love.

There was something about cleaning bathrooms.

For years she had always thought it was a neat-freak thing, something her father had steered her away from. Bathrooms didn't need to be freakishly clean. Sanitary, of course, and not gross. But she had always before made fun of the people that crawled around on the floor with toothbrushes, eyes wide, ready, and searching for that tell-tale hint of mildew. And the toilet bowl. Oh, wow. The toilet bowl! Vesper's Fruit Explosion Toilet Bowl Cleaner, magically guaranteed to cover all surfaces and repel all stains for a week. And it smelled nice. It probably wasn't good to be smelling the toilet bowl cleaner, speaking of that. It was self-brushing, as well, but there was something very satisfying about attacking the toilet bowl with a brush. Oh, that lovely scraping sound.

Good lord, she needed to find something else to do on her days off. When she was single, she had a life. On her spare days she would do something exciting—sneak into Muggle dance clubs, stalk the Weird Sisters, cliff dive, all that good wholesome stuff. Then she went and got herself married. Now she found herself cooking food and cleaning all pretty much turning into Molly Weasley.

And to top it all off, she was enjoying it!

Well, maybe she would not be doing this if she and Remus had similar schedules. She would torture him. One time she had taken him to a Muggle rock concert. Remus hated rock concerts. Good times, good times.

But not as good a time as this. She drove the brush into a crevice behind the toilet and cackled with sick joy.

Which was sadly interrupted by a knock at the door. She swore and left the toothbrush where it was. Just when she was about to dominate all things icky… "Coming!" What person in his right mind would bother someone in the midst of cleaning a bathroom?

It was Fleur at the door, a jittery, smiling, and panicking Fleur. Not that Tonks noticed.

"You caught me in the middle of cleaning my bathroom," she said by way of introduction. "I had no idea it was so satisfying, and don't you dare give me any grief in relation to how the French clean their toilets. I even did this Muggle trick where you clean the sink by filling it up with water and bleach and—"

"I need help, you twit!" Fleur suddenly screamed.

Tonks immediately went silent. Well, she had noticed the other woman had looked a bit off. But if something was seriously wrong… "Fleur?"

Fleur took a deep breath of air and seemed to choke on it. "Tonks, I am going to 'ave a baby and I don't know 'ow to tell Bill."

The words didn't quite register in Tonks' mind. "So… you're telling me first?"

Fleur instantly burst into tears. And she was still standing in the doorway. Tonks rolled her eyes and led her inside to a couch. "Aren't you excited?"

"Yes!" Fleur wailed. "I am so happy I can't believe it! I am going to be a mama!"

It was very exciting news. "And you don't know how to tell Bill? Does he not want a baby?"

"When I tell him," Fleur said through her tears. "It needs to be special. Romantic."

"I'm hardly the first person you should come to for that kind of idea." Tonks was thrilled about the baby, but that did not change the fact that this was an awkward situation.

"But you are fun! Creative! 'Ave you no ideas?"

"I'd say make a cute banner and stretch it over your door." Tonks held out her arms in demonstration. "We could make a little stork on it."

The look Fleur gave her nearly killed. "Zat is tacky."

"I didn't tell you to come for me to advice. Though it was very sweet of you."

Fleur sighed and leaned against Tonks' shoulder. "Everyone thinks zat I am suppose to be all romantic just because I am French! I don't know these things!"

Tonks thought some more. "Hide behind the door, and when he gets home, jump out and kiss him!"

That brought the faintest of smiles. "I do like kissing Bill."

"And I'll make you the banner."

"No banners!" Her hands fell in her lap, fingers twisting at one another. "Gah! I do not know what to do! Dinner? Candlelight dinner?"

"Ooh, that does sound romantic." Not that Tonks had ever been much of a sucker for that. "What can we cook?"

Fleur sighed. "I make 'im fancy food every night."

"We could make tacos."

"Not in zis hemisphere." Now Fleur was giggling.

Tacos sounded really good right now.

"But we rarely use candles. Zat would be pretty."

"And you would say it very romantically," Tonks continued. "In a sultry voice. But you already have a sultry voice."

"Thank-you. You don't.
"And I'm perfectly okay with that."

"Well," said Fleur, standing up. "Thank-you for letting me barge in here. I am now off to figure out something to cook."

She left, and Tonks went off to make a humiliating banner.