Here in the Seam, lunch is a modest affair. Perhaps not modest I think, as I look at the small portion of jarred fruit each child is receiving, perhaps lunch is better described as 'slightly more than non-existent'. It amuses me slightly thinking back to my own mother's choice of words only minutes ago.
"Lunch will be ready in ten minutes."
It's jarred, preserved fruit with a pathetic side of white rice. It is not a meal that takes an awful lot of preparation. I bat that thought out of my mind and hand Posy her drink from the counter. She thanks me and takes her food to the living room, Rory intercepting her halfway and carrying her drink for her. It may be a small meal, but it's certainly more than many people in the district will be eating today. Sometimes I have to remind myself how lucky I really am. Gale nudges my shoulder lightly as he passes me in the kitchen.
Hazelle hands Gale and I our plates and we sit down next to each other at the kitchen table. Our mother's sit opposite us, and it doesn't go unnoticed by me that both of them have foregone the fruit, no doubt to allow the rest of us slightly bigger portions. Gale shifts beside me, and when I look over to him I can see him eyeing our mothers' plates.
"You guys can have mine." He moves to scrape some of the fruit from his plate onto his mother's. "I'm not really that hungry." He lies. Gale is much bigger tan me and I am uncomfortably hungry.
"Don't you dare." Hazelle warns him in her most parental tone. "You eat that." She looks over to me, apparently sensing my next move before I do. "And you eat that. Don't even think about it, Katniss."
Neither of us moves. I can sense Gale is debating on whether to disobey his mother completely by the way his jaw is set and his eyes are trained on the food in front of him.
It's hard for him; it's hard for both of us, to watch as your parent suffers through hunger just so that you can feel slightly more sated. It isn't fair, but for those in the Seam, nothing ever is. I want to force my mother to eat my share as much as Gale, but I have the foresight to see that no matter what either of us do, my mother and Hazelle are professional parents, and can be even more stubborn than their teenage offspring.
I place a hand on Gale's thigh in a manner that I hope is comforting, and see the tension in his shoulders fade, just slightly. He sighs heavily and looks up to Hazelle solemnly.
"One day you'll have to listen to us." He says. Gale looks down for a second but when he glances up again his eyes and filed with mirth and he's smirking at our parents. "When you're both too old to even drag yourselves to the bathroom," he says dramatically and my mother laughs, Hazelle just shakes her head, although she's smiling, "and when Katniss and I have to tie you to your rocking chairs so that we don't find you hopelessly wandering around the Seam," he stands up and begins acting out his scenario around the table, "and your shouting for a cat that has been dead for twenty years while the crowds gather around you and bet on what has driven you both to such insanity." Gale collapses on the floor by my feet, still murmuring nonsense as he pretends to be our aging mothers.
Vick enters the kitchen with his empty plate, steps over Gale, deposits the plate in the sink, and leaves again, without even acknowledging his brother on the floor. I laugh. The kids are far to use to Gale's stupidity at this point, apparently. It keeps us from thinking about other things. Well, sometimes.
Hazelle snickers. "I can tell you now what will drive me to insanity." She stretches under the table to fire a swift kick to her son's shin. "It's having a son like you."
"Ow! Mother!" he sits up and stalks back to his seat, looking particularly wounded and pathetic, despite his large stature. "No need for that." He mutters, and begins to eat his food.
"Don't' forget," Hazelle smiles wryly, "you're still living under my roof and as long as you do, I have every right to reprimand you in any way that I care to. Including minor physical corrections."
"You mean abuse." Gale comments, though he's smiling.
My mother sits back in her seat and chews a spoonful of rice thoughtfully. She swallows it and gives me a poignant look. "Same goes for you, too, Katniss."
I raise and eyebrow at her and look to my side a Gale. "Was that a threat?" I ask him, and he shrugs.
"I think so." He grins and eats some of his fruit. "But if I get kicked again I'm moving out."
"And where will you go?" My mother smirks. "You can't get a house of your own until you get married."
Gale picks up some more fruit. "I guess I'll just have to get married, then."
The look both my mother and Hazelle give me simultaneously makes me inhale some of the rice from my fork. It sticks to the back of my throat and I begin to cough violently until Gale claps me on the back and it dislodges the food from my windpipe. I gulp air into my lungs and look disbelievingly at Gale. His cheeks have gone scarlet.
Gale rubs the back of his neck and glances between all of us at the table before looking back to me.
"That wasn't a proposal or anything." He mutters and I can see my mother smirking behind her mug as she holds I up to her mouth. "I mean- I- well, if I- but that was not me proposing to you."
"It better not have been." I mumble back, and fix my eyes on my almost clear plate. Heat radiates up from my chest to my cheeks.
"Who's getting married?" Rory strides into the kitchen with the rest of the kids plates and dumps them on the counter next to Gale.
"No one is getting married." Gale stresses.
Hazelle is shooting amused glances at my mother who is still attempting to conceal her laughter. I don't like how much amusement our families seem to be getting from Gale and I's relationship.
"Are you two getting married?" Rory leans over the kitchen table on his elbows and looks and Gale and I curiously.
"No." Gale says.
"Shame, because we've got bets on that, too." He smirks and goes back into the living room, leaving Gale and I to stare after him.
"How many bets do you guys have on us?" I ask my mother and Hazelle, more shocked than angry.
My mother shakes her head as she stands and walks around us to the sink. "Don't worry about it, it just shows how much we love you."
"How?" Gale says and I nod in agreement.
"It just does." Hazelle clarifies. "Now why don't you too go and get the kids and-,"
A siren cuts off the end of her sentence and dread hits me like a punch to the belly. It's horribly loud and despite being slightly different from the one that alerts the district to an accident in the mines, I can tell just from the expressions on my mother and Hazelle's faces, and from the way Gale grips my arm, it reminds them of the mines, too.
All four of the kids come running into the kitchen with various expressions of panic on their faces. Prim rushes over to my mother, and Posy, white as a sheet and with a look of pure terror on her face, throws herself into Gale's arms and hides her face in his chest.
"I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it." Posy chants into her eldest brother's t-shirt.
Vick and Rory stick together by the door, but both keep their eyes firmly on their mother until she beckons them over to the table. For all of his bravado, Rory seems overwhelmingly happy that he is invited into his mother's arms.
For a few seconds we all listen to the broken tones of the siren. Gale's hand still grips my forearm, even as his other pulls his baby sister onto his lap. I edge closer to him until my whole side is flush against him.
The sound of the siren suddenly dulls slightly and I know all too well why. Posy lift her head slightly at the change of volume, but knowing from previous years what is coming next, Gale pushes her back down with a hand to the back of her head.
"Sshhh, ssshh. It's okay, it's-," Gale's soothing is abruptly ended as a louder voice takes over.
"District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately." The generic voice over makes my insides coil.
"I don't want to." Vick says quietly, and I barely hear it over the constant instruction from the Capitol voice over.
Hazelle kisses the top of his head. "I know." I see her mouth into his hair.
Even as the siren continues and the repeated instruction remains, none of us move. I know we will have to, sooner rather than later, but even a few more seconds of respite from what will surely be horrendous images, is something.
"District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately." The voice gets louder and the base makes the whole house feel as if it is vibrating with each syllable.
"I don't like it." Posy cries.
"I don't want to." Vick says.
"District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately." Louder.
"When's it going to stop?" Rory yells.
Prim holds her hands over her ears and silent tears track down her face.
"I don't like it." Posy sobs.
"District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately."
I wrap my arms around Gale's torso and Posy's skinny body.
"District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately."
I squeeze my eyes shut and press my forehead into Gale's bicep.
"District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately."
Someone bands hard on the front door twice and I open my eyes to see a Peacekeeper standing in the doorway to Gale's kitchen, gun held aloft. I grip Gale tighter.
I know this Peacekeeper. Not well, but Gale and I have spoken with him at the Hob a few times and I know his name is Aaron. He lowers the gun as recognition floods his face.
"I'm sorry." He calls over the Capitol instruction. "You know the drill, guys." He holds up a device I know monitors the television use in homes around the district. "You need to put it on."
"It's happening now, isn't it?" Rory pulls away from Hazelle and squares his shoulders.
Aaron nods. "It'll be over soon, kids." He smiles but, not particularly comfortingly.
The siren stops and I watch as everyone in the room, including Aaron, relaxes slightly. The generic Capitol voice still tells us we need to be watching the television over and over, but it's significantly quieter and I can flush it into background noise and focus on what Aaron is saying.
"I need to know who's here." He says and pulls a small pen from the case of the electronic device he holds.
"Hawthorne." Hazelle says, and Aaron taps away on the device. "Hazelle, Gale, Rory, Vick, Posy." When he pauses his tapping, Hazelle continues. "Everdeen-,"
"-Katniss, Primrose and their mother?" Aaron looks to me. "Correct?" he asks.
"Yes." I say, unable to articulate anything more.
"Okay, I have everyone on here." He puts the device back in his pocket and takes his gun from its holster. "They'll be someone back to check on you I would think. To check on all of you. Including the kids." His eyes darken slightly. "And it might not be me. The Capitol has sent some temporary PKs to keep everyone in line."
It's not a threat from Aaron, but for all I know his uniform is bugged and he can't say too much. Gale looks at me worriedly and I nod slightly. Aaron is warning us. Everyone must be watching for the allotted time. He's trying to tell us we won't get away with protecting the kids like we've tried in previous years. We won't be able to shut them into their rooms until it is over. He's trying to tell us that we all must watch the finale of the Hunger Games. It terrifies me.
"I'll be going. Put the television on. Watch it. All must watch." Aaron speaks as if he is reading from a script. I wonder how many houses he will have to visit tonight. "District Twelve residents are subject to mandatory Capitol viewing, immediately. All rebels will be punished." He turns to leave with a tiny smile for Gale and me.
"Hey, Aaron." Gale calls after him. Aaron turns towards him. "Thanks."
Aaron nods and swiftly leaves the house, closing the door behind him. As the door clicks closed, Hazelle stands and pulls her two youngest sons towards the living room.
"Come on, kids." She says sadly.
My mother follows with Prim, and I watch as they disappear behind the door into the room where the television sits, barely used, next to the children's toy box. Posy whimpers in Gale's lap and he shushes her as he stands, pulling me up with them.
We walk across the kitchen at a slow pace we're not used to. Hand in hand, Gale and I make out way into the other room, no longer caring about what our families are thinking. It feels as though we are walking to our death. That thought alone makes me feel infinitely guilty. Two people from our district, two people I knew have already died gruesome deaths at the hands of the other children in that arena. For now I am safe. Gale is safe. The kids are safe. For now. I should be grateful for that.
Gale squeezes my hand and I look up at him. He tips his head towards our makeshift bed from the night before and pulls me down to the floor. The rest of the chairs have been taken by our parents and siblings, all squashed together on the sofa for comfort.
I hear Gale ask Posy if she wants to go and sit with Hazelle, but she must answer in the negative because he pulls he tighter against his chest with one arm, and pulls me closer to his side with the other. Gale warms my left side, and my back is pressed against Vick and Prim's legs, where they sit on the couch. At least one of them, but I suspect both, is shaking against my spine.
The capitol emblem glows and spins on the holographic background of President Snow's face. It's not a live image of the President, but when the emblem fades into the back and his face becomes more prominent, a startling peak of fear bubbles up in my throat. I swallow heavily and lean into Gale. Posy snivels and Gale mumbles something about it 'being alright', but he says it into my hair.
Gale's face presses into the crown of my head and the vibrations of words so low I can't decipher them, rumble into my skull. My heart is racing and I know Gale can tell because I can feel his own pulse just a rapid as my own, and his laboured breathing into my hair.
One of the kids, I think it might be Prim but it's difficult to tell, sobs heavily behind me. A hand comes down from the couch, between Gale and I, and grips the back of Gale's t-shirt, rubbing the fabric between a thumb and finger. I turn slightly to see Vick, one hand on the shirt, the other in his mouth as he sucks his thumb. I've never seen him suck his thumb since he was eight. Rory doesn't even attempt to tease him about it.
It goes quiet outside as the Capitol instructions stop. Vick's hand on his brother's t-shirt stills, but he doesn't let go. Posy lifts her head to look at me questioningly.
"It's starting." Rory says behind us, deadpan.
The flickering projections of President Snow's face, melts into something brighter, enticing Posy to turn around in Gale's lap and pay closer attention. It's a different studio, as it is every year, but the sickly oranges and blinding glitters of Caesar Flickerman's den is all too familiar. He grins at the camera with bright blue hair and purple lips and welcome's us all to the finale of the 74th Annual Hunger Games.
It takes every ounce of will I possess not to leave the house and run into the woods. Gale's grip on my waist tightens painfully, as he attempts to root himself. His fingers dig into my ribs too hard, but I don't stop him.
I feel sick as Caesar manically grins and chants his opening spiel, talking of what an exciting games it has been this year and how it is only hours away from all being over. He talks of one deserving winner but fails to mention the twenty-three undeservingly murdered children.
Bile begins creeping up my throat as he announces the finale of the games will be introduced by showing all of the previous deaths. There's only five left, apparently. A large boy from District 11 and four Careers from Districts 1,2 and 4. Another has died since I last heard. They go in chronological order and when a close up of a little boy from District 7 having his head bludgeoned in is the first, Gale covers Posy's face with his hand and grits his teeth.
Prim is crying. Vick is pulling on Gale's shirt. Rory sits up straight but only looks at his knees. Our mothers are trying to calm the kids. Gale shushes Posy and shields her eyes. I fight very hard not to vomit. I want to look away, and I do, but my eyes drift back to the horrific images of children being slaughtered as the live crowds in the Capitol cheer.
I hate it, I think. I hate it so much.
"Me too." Gale says quietly.
Apparently I've spoken aloud.
When they show Peeta Mellark being sliced lengthways by a Career with a sword, I feel the first tears coming. It would be pointless to wipe them away, but Posy is watching me as Gale holds a hand to her face to stop her seeing anything else, so I dry them with my sleeve and take the hand she offers me.
"It will be finished soon?" she asks quietly.
"Yes." I lie, and force a smile.
A girl gurgles blood from the hole in her neck on the television. The crowd roars.
A/N: Reviews are very much appreciated! xxx