Disclaimer:Hetalia no mine!
Chapter 9
I slowly went back to my room; much to Northern Italy's sadness, I did not finish my pasta. I needed to think…about everything.
I only saw darkness around me as I walked to my small backpack. Brother gave it to me for my birthday. It was made just for me; filled with the love I have for my home. But…when I looked at the lovely homemade bag I only felt dread.
My eyes moved to Brother's Kanata. I stared at it, my heart beating painfully fast. I could hear the uneven tempo so loudly I wondered if someone was playing drums. I could just go back home now, pretend none of this happened.
But…how would that fix anything.
I frowned it wouldn't fix anything. I took the Kanata and released it from its sheath a determined look on my face. The way the Kanata felt in my hands felt right; the way I could see victory in the end felt like I've known more than I thought.
Brother and me were the same; like a coin. We were both Japan. I had every right to protect my home and find the secrets Brother had kept from me for so many years.
I did not wish to fight the man with messy, blonde hair….but if it came down to it I would. Even if my heart would end up broken beyond repair, I would still fight.
I swung the Kanata in front of me with little to no effort. I glared at the outside. The sky was dark…it was going to rain…
And by the looks of things; it was going to be a downpour. A long downpour of pain and blood curling screaming.
I gripped my Kanata tighter and tighter until I knew for a fact my hand would be bruised.
Voices echoed around me…Voices I wished to be forgotten still…Screaming…Begs for life….In the end I knew….
In war there was no love involved and no true winner…
Tears fell from my eyes as the screaming voices of pure agony continued; over and over again like a broken record.
Was this how people in war went crazy? Was I seeing the kills Brother had committed? Had he truly killed so many with his own hands? With this Kanata? The Kanata that was only meant to protect not kill for no cause.
How long has Brother covered my ears and eyes? How long have I've been locked away and forced to know nothing…of war? Of the hatred of so many? Of the fields lost in a monsoon of blood? The flowers dying from big boots? I felt my body shake.
How much hate was in this world? How many more will die before one gives up and admits defeat? Did we always need to be right? Couldn't we be wrong or was ones pride too big for such a thought?
I dropped my Kanata not able to control the blood curling screams of those who fight for the lives of others…They always died…They protect the person they love, but give their life in return.
If I fought…I was going to die, right? Just like all the others…
I was still awake and yet it felt like I was in the rain fighting. Staring at all the blood on my body, but…it wasn't my blood. My eyes moved up to see a group of people on the ground dying from loss of blood.
I backed away scared. Had I killed all those people? No, I…don't want this…I…don't want to be the bad guy…I don't want to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it!
I let out my own scream of pure agony. "I DON'T WANT THIS! I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYONE! BROTHER! BROTHER HOW COULD YOU HAVE KILLED SO MANY AND STILL SMILE! DON'T YOU EVEN CARE! YOU KILLED CHILDREN WHO WERE INNOCENT OF ANY CRIME, YOU KILLED WOMAN WHO TRIED TO PROTECT THOSE CHILDREN, BROTHER YOU KILLED INNOCENT PEOPLE! I CAN'T LIVE WITH SUCH BLOOD THAT WILL SOON BE ON MY HANDS!"
I fell to the ground shaking and felt so much pure anguish and guilt I had no idea what to do with it all. How many will be killed by my own hands? In the end who will be the bad person? Who will be the one to win? Who will kill the most and win their prize? I wonder….