Note: just a little warning that as it is rated an M, there is a little bit of adult content in this chapter. Once again, thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!

A week later, Jeff and Dixie were sitting at the kitchen table with a freshly poured cup of tea each, waiting for Mel to arrive.

'Dixie...'

'Yeah?'

'I was wondering. How would you feel if I asked Mel to stay the night? We've been together for nearly a month now and I would like to move the relationship up a gear if you know what I mean?'.

Dixie thought about this. Everything inside her was screaming 'no' but how could she say that, how could she stop him from being happy.

'Ummm ok' she said hesitantly.

'If you're not sure, I don't have to, I just thought I'd ask'.

Dixie looked at him. The man she had married. Her best mate, and at the minute her protector. The man that had been putting her back together since that dreadful day a month ago. How could she possibly say no to him. But she really really wanted to. She was scared of being alone for the night. Scared that without him she would wake up in tears and have no one to hold her, or even worse - embarrass herself in front of Mel by waking them both up as well. On top of that she had been having confusing thoughts recently. She knew she was a lesbian, she always had been and always would be but there was something about Jeff, his personality, him, that she was becoming drawn to and it scared her. She had never felt like this before about a man and she knew it would only ever be Jeff that she did. It was like she had got past the fact that he was a man and it was his soul she was falling for, male or female she didn't care. She could barely admit to herself that she was having feelings for him, but to mention it to Jeff could ruin their marriage and their friendship. So to see him with Mel was hurting her, but the idea that she would be in his bed, making love to him, she just couldn't quite deal with. And yet it all came back to the fact that she just wanted him to be happy which was why she had to say she was fine with it all.

'Jeff it's fine mate. It's time I got used to sleeping alone again anyway' she said, plastering a fake smile on her face and patting him on the arm.

'Sure you're sure?'

'Jeff just do it mate' Dixie said, becoming exasperated with him. She didn't want to think about it let alone discuss it.

'Thanks mate' he replied just as the doorbell rang.

'Right, I'll leave you to it' she said and picked up her tea, before letting Mel in and heading up the stairs.

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It was 11pm and Jeff and Mel had just finished watching a film she had brought over.

'I suppose I'd better get going then' Mel said pulling back from his chest, where her head had been resting for the last hour.

'Actually, I wondered if you'd like to stay?' Jeff asked feeling nervous.

'I'd love to' she smiled at him before leaning in for a kiss.

As they pulled apart Jeff couldn't believe his luck. A wonderful wife and a gorgeous girlfriend. What a lucky sod he was. He figured he'd have to explain to her soon about Dixie being his wife, but not yet, not now. For the minute he just wanted to enjoy the moment.

'I just need to let Little Abs out then we can go up'.

'Ok' Mel said watching him leave the room, her heart thumping just a little bit faster. She had wanted Jeff to ask her to stay tonight so was pleased when he actually did. She fancied him like mad and couldn't wait to share his bed.

When Jeff returned he took her by the hand and led her upstairs.

'That's my room' he said pointing to the door closest to the bathroom. 'Go on in. I just need to speak to Dixie quickly'.

Mel nodded and headed into his room, whilst he went and knocked on Dixie's door.

'Come in' he heard her call.

Opening the door he saw Dixie on the bed, in her pyjamas, watching TV. Walking in he closed the door behind him so there was no chance of Mel over hearing before going over and sitting on the bed.

'So is she staying then?' Dixie asked, putting the volume on mute.

'Yeah, she's in my room waiting for me as we speak' Jeff replied with a grin on his face.

Dixie's heart sunk but she smiled, not wanting Jeff to know what this was doing to her.

'You'd better go and have some fun then' she said patting his leg.

'Just so long as you know where I am if you need me'.

'Jeff I hardly think I'm going to lose you in a house this size. Anyway, I'm not going to come and interrupt you, however I'm feeling'.

'Well obviously not now, but in the night, if you need me just come and get me'.

'Jeff I'm not going to come in whilst you're laying naked in bed with another woman, no matter how upset I am'.

'Well text me then or something. Don't worry about it, that's all I'm saying. I'll still be there for you'.

'Fine' Dixie said, not meaning it for one second. 'Now go and enjoy yourself or she'll be wondering where you've got to'.

'Night Dix'

'Night' she replied, watching him leave before turning the volume back up.

She tried to watch the TV again for a few minutes to take her mind off of everything, but as hard as she tried, all she could think about was Jeff and Mel. Her heart broke as she imagined Jeff unzipping Mel's dress and dropping it to the floor. The last time she had felt this hurt was when she had fallen for Cyd. Why did she always fall hardest for those that were out of reach. 'Because I loved her. Like I love him. Annie was special to me, but she wasn't either of them. She didn't love me. Not like Jeff does. Come to think of it, neither did Cyd'.

She grew jealous as she imagined Mel taking off Jeff's tshirt before running her hand across his chest. She knew that they were probably naked by now, exploring each other's bodies.

Dixie shook her head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. She knew however that that would be impossible whilst she was awake, so turning the TV off and switching off the light she settled down into bed, hoping that sleep would quickly claim her.

Sadly however, her wish didn't come true and fifteen minutes later she was still imagining what they were up to next door. She thought about how Jeff was most likely making love to her right now and her heart broke again that evening when she began to hear the low moans coming from her husband as well as the sound of the bed.

For the next ten minutes all she could think about was what they were doing, what she could hear. Tears began to silently fall as she finally realised she had well and truly fallen in love with her husband, only for it to be too late.

As the moans got louder she guessed that it would soon be over. She knew Jeff wasn't trying to be loud on purpose, in fact he was probably restraining himself, but as they were in the next room, and the walls weren't particularly thick she could hear far more than she wanted.

Finally, she heard him cry out before everything went quiet.

Dixie slowly stopped crying and wiped away her tears. She knew she wouldn't sleep now, even if she wanted to. Getting up she decided to go downstairs, cuddle up to Little Abs and watch a bit of late night cable TV, which is exactly where Jeff found her an hour later.

'What are you doing down here?' He asked walking into the lounge and heading to the sofa.

'I couldn't sleep so figured I'd come down and watch some TV with Little Abs for company', she said, pushing the dog off the sofa so Jeff could sit down. 'What are you doing?'.

'I heard you come downstairs so wanted to check that you were ok. I wanted to make sure Mel was asleep though first so that if you weren't alright she wouldn't be waiting for me to return'.

'Thanks but I'm fine' Dixie replied.

'Sorry, if you heard any of that by the way' Jeff said. 'I did try to keep it down but I couldn't really stop myself at the end'. If he had said this to anyone else he would be embarrassed. Men happily gloat to others about their sex life but rarely it's the truth. This however was his best friend and wife, and after what they'd shared the last month, he felt like there was nothing he couldn't say to her now.

'It's fine. You've done so much for me over the last month that I can cope with the sound of you two having sex'.

'I was worried that it might have brought back bad memories, you know, the sound of a man...' He said trailing off, thinking back to hearing her being raped.

She had never willingly slept with a man, but she knew what it was like to make love to a partner and it was soft, gentle and loving, even if it was fast and rough. Not like what they had done to her. She knew what Jeff was like, and she also knew that he would never hurt anyone, especially not like that.

'No, it's fine. That was the sound of you making love. That wasn't what they did to me, it sounded very different. Anyway, it was you I could hear. I could never be afraid of your voice, whether it was the sound of you laughing, shouting or making love. I know that you would never hurt me, so no, it didn't bring back any memories'.

'Good' Jeff said, relieved that he hadn't caused her to relive the past. Pulling the blanket from the back of the sofa, he threw it over them, settling in to watch some TV.

'Don't you think you should get back to Mel in case she wakes up and wonders where you are?' Dixie asked.

'Na, I wore her out good and proper' Jeff smirked.

'Ha!' Dixie laughed, she couldn't help but smile when Jeff was around.

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The next morning Dixie woke up and just lay in bed, thinking about the night before. What she had heard, how she had felt.

Last night she had resigned herself to never telling Jeff how she felt and after what had happened between him and Mel she knew that she would have to stick to it. Nevertheless she felt sad for everything that she could have had and lost. She knew that she couldn't be around him, not today, not when she felt like this, it would only make her feel worse, hurt her more.

She made her way to the bathroom hoping to have a quick shower before either of them were up. Standing under the water she couldn't help but remember the sound of her husband with another woman. She wasn't even sure she would like the idea of sleeping with him, especially not after the attack, but she knew what it was to be intimate with a woman and knew she would like Jeff to make her feel like that in the bedroom.

'But it's too late' she reminded herself, quickly finishing off in the shower before heading back to her bedroom to get dressed.

Thirty minutes later she headed down the stairs and out the front door, phone in her pocket, keys in one hand and purse in the other. She didn't know where she was going to go, only that she had to get away because right now she didn't feel like she could hide her true emotions for much longer.

Getting in the car she drove aimlessly eventually ending up outside a cafe where she decided to go in and have breakfast. Ordering a bacon butty she went and sat at a table in the corner, when all of a sudden her phone began to ring. Pulling it out from her pocket she saw Jeff displayed on the caller ID. 'Not just yet' she said to herself canceling it and putting her phone on silent before sliding it back into her pocket. Within a few seconds however it began to vibrate and she knew he was trying again. This time however she just let it ring out and once it stopped she gave a sigh of relief before she felt it vibrate once more. Pulling it back out she saw that he had left a voicemail message to which she began to listen.

'Dix where are you? Are you ok? You didn't leave a note'.

She knew he must be worried. This was the first time she had gone out alone since the attack, she couldn't face talking to him though so decided to just text him back.

'I'm fine. Just getting some breakfast, don't know when I'll be back x'.

Within a few minutes she received a reply.

'Ok, Mel's going home soon as she has work later. Don't be long! x'

Dixie just looked at the text. She knew he would worry but she wouldn't be home for hours yet, not until she could keep her emotions in check.

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The rest of the day she spent traveling from cafés to coffee shops, buying magazines for her to flick in and out of, trying to take her mind off of reality. Occasionally she received texts from Jeff asking if she really was ok and when she would be home, each time replying that yes she was fine and not just yet.

Eventually however it began to get dark and that alone encouraged her to go home when nothing else could. Arriving home, she sat on the driveway for a few minutes trying to collect herself before getting out of the car. She had hoped that she would be feeling better by this evening but if anything she felt worse. Having had the whole day to think of nothing else but how she felt about Jeff she really wasn't ready to greet him just yet. Nevertheless, the option was taken out of her hands when the front door opened and Jeff raced out and opened her car door.

'Where have you been Princess? I've been worried'.

'I told you, I just went out for breakfast and figured that I enjoyed it so much I would stay out for lunch and dinner as well'. She replied getting out of the car and locking it behind her.

'Now the truth' He said following her back to the house.

'That is the truth Jeffrey' she replied walking into the kitchen and putting her keys on the counter before picking up the dog bowl and filling it with water.

'That isn't the truth, I know something's wrong so just tell me' he said following her around the kitchen.

Dixie couldn't quite hide the emotion on her face so refused to look at him. She really didn't want him to see her like this.

'Nothing's wrong' she answered before getting the dog food out of the cupboard and putting it on the counter.

'Then why won't you look at me' Jeff said taking her by the shoulders and turning her around, holding her gently so that she wouldn't turn back.

'Just leave me alone...please' Dixie said, looking at him properly for the first time that evening.

'Sorry Princess, I can't do that' he replied softly, not letting her go. Stepping closer he looked at her deep in the eyes. 'Talk to me, trust me'.

And that was it, Dixie couldn't help it but she found herself leaning in and kissing him. Not for long but long enough. Pulling back she looked him in the eyes, saw the complete shock on his face and stepped out of his reach.

Walking quickly towards the kitchen door she grabbed the keys off the counter and headed back into the hallway.

'Dixie' Jeff called after her, running up behind her and grabbing her wrist tightly to stop her.

Just for a split second she forgot, she forgot who it was, her mind had taken her back to the last man that had grabbed her wrist that tightly and she was petrified. Turning around she lashed out, slapping him hard across the face. It was only then that she remembered, that it was Jeff and she was safe.

'Oh my- I'm so sorry' she said standing there in complete shock, tears beginning to form in her eyes as she realised what she had done to the one person she cared for most, loved, in the whole world.

'Dix' Jeff said quietly holding his face. He was shocked too. Shocked about the kiss and at what she had done. He wasn't angry though, he could still see the look of terror in her eyes just before she slapped him, he knew he must have scared her and he instantly regretted grabbing her.

'I thought... I thought you...' She whispered, mouth wide open, all thoughts of leaving forgotten.

'It's ok, I scared you, I know. I shouldn't have grabbed you' he said reaching out his left hand slowly to take her right hand in his.

'I'm so sorry' she said again, bringing her left hand up and lifting his other away so that she could see the damage.

'I never meant...you know I wouldn't...' She trailed off looking into his eyes, her own eyesight becoming blurred with tears.

'I know' he said, bringing his hand up to wipe them away.

'Please don't touch me' she said, stepping back. She knew that it would only make it harder for her in the long run, feeling his touch and then watching him walk away.

Jeff put his right hand down, but kept hold of her right hand. 'Come on, I think we need to talk' he said leading her back into the kitchen and towards the kitchen table so that they could sit facing each other.

Sitting down Jeff began to speak. 'Why did you kiss me?'.

'I don't know' she lied.

'Yes you do. Tell me the truth Dix'.

'I can't' she said, refusing to look him in the eye.

'Of course you can, it's me remember' he said, leaning sideways slightly so that he was in her eyesight.

'I can't' she repeated before looking away again.

'Ok well then tell me why you can't, what you think will happen if you do'.

'You'll leave me, maybe not this second but you will, sooner rather than later'.

'Princess, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you tell me, I'm not budging, not now, not tomorrow, not ever. All I want is the truth'.

Dixie turned to meet his gaze and looked deep into his eyes, trying to determine if he himself was lying. Then she remembered, it was Jeff, the only person she could trust not to lie, not to let her down.

'Trust me' she heard him whisper and before she could bottle it she did.

'I've fallen for you' she said before quickly looking away.

'But you're a lesbian' he said, trying to keep the shock out of his voice.

'Turns out I love you too much to care' she said looking back at him, waiting for his reaction.

'How long?' He asked.

'I don't know. After the attack you did so much for me, you still are doing. I was confused for a while but last night when I could hear you...I was jealous. I've realised that I don't care if you're a man or a woman, I love you for who you are, not what you are' she spilled out feeling relieved and petrified at the same time.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because you're with Mel and you're happy. I didn't want to ruin it for you'.

'Oh Dix' he said sighing and dropping his head.

'Anyway, you can go now if you want, I'll understand'. Dixie said looking at him.

Jeff looked up and square into her eyes 'I told you Princess, I'm not going anywhere'.

Dixie was shocked, she felt sure he would leave, but for a few seconds they both sat there in silence just looking at each other, each trying to work out the next move.

Jeff looked at Dixie his mind whirring. He'd had no idea but only now realised that last night must have been hell for her. He didn't know how he felt. He loved her but he'd never looked at her in that way before and he honestly didn't know if he would fancy her or not if he did. Mel was another issue but one that could be undone if he had to. After all, he had told Dixie she was his priority and he would stand by that. He truly loved her far more than any woman he'd ever known and if there was a chance for things to blossom between them both then he would apologise to Mel and leave her.

'What are you thinking?' Dixie asked worry written all over her face.

'I'm just confused. About everything. Don't worry though, I'm staying no matter what' he said, seeing her features relax a little. 'Do you mind if I go to bed? I'd like some time to think everything over'.

Dixie nodded, knowing that she too would need to have good think about everything that had just happened.

'Night' he said, getting up and walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom.

'Night' she whispered, wondering if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life.