Sorry its been a while. I didn't realise how long it had been exactly until someone posted a comment the other day. Sorry its a bit crap this chapter. I had lost a bit of faith with this story but I will try and complete it as soon as I can. x

Present Day

"…he's gone beyond help…"
"What do you mean he's gone beyond help?"
I paused. I began to compose myself. I took a deep breath.
"I haven't been entirely honest with you… he didn't raise a hand to me. I was, still am, too embarrassed to tell you what he really did…"
"Then what did he do?"
"He… he made me…" I trailed off. "He made me sleep with him after the row we had, he…" I couldn't bear to say the word. It had finally hit me what he had done. I had always put it to the back of my mind, told myself it was just his way of having sex a different way to how we normally would.
He gasped with shock.
"Did he rape you?" he asked me, a distinct sound of awkwardness in his tone.
"No, yes, I don't know. I didn't want to believe what he had done, after all I went along with it, I could have stopped him but I didn't, I let him take advantage of me…"
"When?"
"The other night when we had the row. He tried to apologise I just assumed he'd just kiss me goodnight, sleep on it and we would talk in the morning, but he didn't, he carried on…"
"Does anyone know?"
"Only you and that's how I want it to stay."
"The police?"
"No. they wouldn't have believed me then and they won't now. We must leave it. I couldn't go to the police and put the children's lives in danger. Richard has a way with changing things. Please let's just deal with the here and now and go over to his."

We drove to his house, not knowing whether he would be at home or whether he had ventured in to work. Thankfully when we pulled up outside his car wasn't in the driveway, a sign he must have ventured in to work. Letting myself in to the house I led the way inside. Walking over broken glass as I entered the sitting room, I surveyed the damage. A glass had obviously been thrown in anger at the wall, but everything else seemed as it was left the previous evening.
"There's some cases in the downstairs cupboard, could you give me a hand?" I asked as I walked out of the sitting room down to the cupboard under the stairs, and fishing three suitcases out and a couple of holdalls. "Here you go, we'll make a start upstairs." I handed over some cases and lead the way upstairs.
"Flash house." he quipped as we walked up the stairs. "Puts my modest three bed to shame."
"Money isn't everything. I thought I was happy living the high life here, but deep down I wasn't." I retorted.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine, look if you could go in to the children's rooms and just throw everything in you can. They're only clothes and toys, I can replace what you can't fit in."
"Sure."
While he went in to the children's rooms, I went in to my room and loaded my bags with as many clothes and belongings as I could. Surveying my packed bags, I remembered one last thing. I picked up the patterned memory box that was in my cupboard beside my side of the bed. This had all my reminders of Gordon inside as well as my own personal documents.
I opened the box and began to rummage through its contents. I pulled out a photo of Gordon and I on our wedding day and thought about how things had changed since that day.
"You done?" a voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Yeah all done here. Thank goodness a lot of our things went in to storage when I moved in here." I replied, swiftly placing the photo back in its box and taking it with me as I left the room.
"I've taken what I can, if you want to go and look for anything else while I load the car."
We took the bags downstairs and I did one last sweep downstairs while the car was being loaded. I left the house, closing the door behind me, and didn't look back.

Later that day we arrived at the hospital. His car was outside so he had obviously ventured in.
"How was your meeting?" Lizzie greeted us after I arrived in reception.
"Hi Lizzie, oh erm that, yes fine. Is Dr Franklin here."
"Yes, he should be in his room, he's finished surgery for the afternoon."
"Thanks Lizzie." I smiled at her and we walked down the corridor.
"I'm going to have a word."
"No, please don't." I pleaded as we walked along the corridor.
Before anymore could be said, Richard's door opened and he strolled out, looking somewhat dishevelled. His hair hadn't been slicked back as it normally would have been, he wasn't wearing a tie with his suit, and he looked an utter mess. He stopped in his tracks once he saw us but didn't say a word he just carried on walking, his intention was to walk straight past, but the man I was with stepped in front of him, arms folded, stopping him from walking any further.
"Haven't you got some explaining to do?"
"Don't you think this is between Jill and I?" Richard snapped back at the man that asked.
"And me, seeing as I care a lot for her and have known her quite some time, and not to mention I knew her husband."
"Like I said this is between us, it has nothing to do with you." Richard explained, as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Oh it has everything to do with me now I have given her a place to stay." The man in front of him asked, as he uncrossed his arms and looked at him with more intent.
"Do I care? Like I haven't known what you two got up to before I was shot."
"We should have carried on, she should have left you – "
"So you don't deny it?"
"No. I'll admit it, yes we had an affair, but after you were shot we ended it. She should have left you before what you did to her, instead she nursed you and how do you repay her? Drinking yourself stupid and, well you know what you did…." He trailed off once he saw the strained expression on my face.
"I'm sorry?" Richard asked, oblivious.
"You know what you did to her."
"Do enlighten me?" Richard teased.
"You raped her." He snapped in a lowered tone.
"Rape is such a strong word. I like to call it adventurous sex. I didn't hear Jill complaining at the time. If she felt it was rape, why didn't she go to the police?"
"She was too scared, too embarrassed, too ashamed to bring disgrace on her family."
"They wouldn't have believed her anyway, they wouldn't now so there's no point trying to dig up the past and accuse me of something you cannot prove I did. We were a couple, we slept together and she deserved to know what sleeping with a real man was like, don't suppose with Gordon or you she would have known, but there is no way you can prove anything."
"How dare you bring Gordon in to this." I yelled.
I watched as he lunged at Richard, fists flew, both men grappling with each other, Richard receiving a blow to the nose.
"Stop it." I yelled at them. "This isn't helping."
Suddenly Matron appeared. "What an earth?" she asked me as she saw the scene play out.
"Would you mind stopping this nonsense whatever it is." She raised her voice and they let go of each other begrudgingly. Richard wiped the blood away from his nose using the back of his hand, sadistically laughing.
"Would you mind telling me what in god's name is going on?" she demanded. "This is a hospital not a boxing ring."
"It's just a disagreement that's all." I lied. "It's fine, honestly Matron, everything's under control."
"No it's not Matron, I want you to call the police. This out of control member of staff has just assaulted me as you can see." Richard smirked, as he straightened up his jacket.
"What?" we said in unison. Had he really just said that?
"Is this true?" Matron asked.
"No it's not true, he hasn't assaulted anyone." I swiftly answered Matron. "I don't know what sort of game you're playing Richard but it's not going to work." I snapped at him.
"Games Jill, you've been playing them behind my back, now it's my turn."
"Jill?" Matron seemed concerned for my well being.
"It's nothing Matron." I replied. "Call the police yourself Richard if you really want, but I will not, repeat not be part of your games." I egged him on.
Richard turned away and walked back in to his office.
"Jill?" Matron said my name as the three of us stood in the corridor.
"Not here." I answered her and began walking to my office, where they both followed me.
We all sat down.
"You don't have to do this Jill, let me explain." He said, taking my hands as he sat opposite me. "Matron, we…"
"I can see." She replied, slightly appalled I could tell. "How long?"
"We had an affair for a few months before Richard was shot, then broke it off as Jill decided she had to be there for Richard. She was there for him but last night she left him after…"
I shook my head. I didn't want her finding out what he had done as much as I trusted her.
"The shooting changed him for the worse. I couldn't live with him anymore so left him last night. We had been having a few problems and enough was enough."
"I see. What a sorry state of affairs. Well, I guess it doesn't need me to tell you what to do Jill, but you know where I am." Matron concluded as she got up from her seat and left the room. "Just make sure this doesn't affect your work."
This had already affected my work, my relationship, my life...