I was really scared about Cartman all day. I was even upset when I went to rehearsals with my preppy pop band Sparkly Preppy Sunflower 777. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between Britney Spears, Hilary Duff and Ashlee Simpson. The other people in the band are Wendy, Fairy, Stan, Craig (He has blond hair now with pink streaks in it.) and Randy Marsh. Only today Stan and Kyle were playing Guitar Hero so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Stan was probably playing really hard at his game (he wouldn't die because he was a fairy too and the only way you can kill a fairy is with i-r-o-n (there's no way I'm writing that) or a fire and Fairy was probably watching a happy movie like The Clique. I put on a pink silk shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Britney Spears on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.
We were singing a cover of 'Sometimes' and at the end of the song I suddenly burst into tears.
"Blondie! Are you OK?" Wendy asked in a concerted voice.
"What do you like think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Cartman came and the fat ass told me to like make Kyle suck his balls! But I don't want to make him suck his balls, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Stan. But if I don't make Kyle suck his balls, then Cartman will like totally make Stan suck his balls!" I burst into tears.
Suddenly Stan jumped out from behind a wall.
"Why didn't you like tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you mean poser gothic butthole!"
I started to cry and cry. Stan started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.
We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Chef walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.
"What have you done, Children?" He started to cry wisely.
"Blondie, Stan has been found in his room. He committed suicide by playing Guitar Hero too much."