* Here you go! *
"Olivia, Rafael." Lucy ran out from one of the many exam rooms in the ER to find the parents. They both looked shaken up and beyond worried.
"Lucy what happened? Is Raegan okay?" Liv looked at her with her eyes wide, filled with concern.
Lucy placed a gentle and reassuring hand on her arm. "She's fine. She just thought it would be good idea to dive head first into the corner of the coffee table."
Rafael couldn't help but lose his concern with a small laugh. The little girl was a handful and quite the daredevil compared to overly cautious older brother. Olivia looked at him and they both seemed less than surprised, almost happy to know that it was nothing more serious.
The mom and dad walked into the room, followed by Lucy. Noah ran into Rafael's arm immediately and the father obliged by picking up his son.
Raegan, however, was much less than happy about her parents' arrival. A doctor and nurse were trying to calm her down, but she was having nothing of the sort. Olivia was sure that the whole rest of the hospital could hear her daughter's screams.
"Mama!" The one and a half year old wailed as soon as she saw Liv.
"Oh my sweet girl." Olivia took in the gash that covered her forehead. The bleeding had slowed, but it was still evident that the cut she had received from the piece of furniture was pretty bad. "Is there anything I can do to help?" The mom turned towards the nurse and doctor.
The doctor answered. "She needs at least three stitches. Maybe if she sits on your lap, she'll stay calm enough to let us work. Once we get her forehead and cut numb, she'll probably be a lot happier."
Liv hopped up on the exam table and took Raegan into her lap. She turned to Noah who seemed rather upset about the whole thing. "You know what Noah? Why don't you and daddy go get a treat? And then you can pick out something for Rae, too, so that when she's all done she can have something that will make her feel a little better."
A few hours later, found the family back at home. Rafael had taken Noah to a nearby bakery and they had picked up cupcakes for the entire family. Raegan had eventually calmed down and had earned herself four stitches in her forehead. Though, as soon as she was back at home eating her treat with her brother, no one would have guessed that she had just been in the ER with an open wound. After all the extra sugar, Liv and Rafael struggled a little more with bedtime than normal, but when the kids were finally asleep in their own beds, the parents sat quietly on the couch, mindlessly watching some movie that was on cable.
"You know Rae did considerably well today." Rafael commented.
Olivia couldn't help but laugh. "For little miss Raegan she certainly did. To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised she hasn't done something like that before now. The number of times I've had to stop her from jumping off of things; that one could not be any more opposite than her brother."
"That's for sure. I'm just glad that it wasn't anything worse than that cut. She easily could have given herself a concussion." Rafael took a sip from his glass of wine as he thanked whoever was watching over their risk taking little girl.
"You know, Rafi, I was thinking earlier." Liv started, before continuing. "When we were driving to the hospital right after Lucy called, all I could do was hope and pray that nothing serious happened to our little girl, that she was going to be okay. And in that moment I realized how many times you've had to make that same drive, how many times you've had to hope and pray that when you got there I would still be alive. I can't even begin to imagine what I've put you through."
Rafael set down his glass of wine. "I promise you that you will never be able to imagine what's been like every time."
Liv could feel the slight edge in her husband's voice as she brought up the inevitable. "I know I can't and I am so sorry for all that you've been through."
"Are you really though, Liv?" He looked right into her eyes as he spoke. "I know that your purpose is never to wind up injured or for god's sake, fighting for your life, but do you ever think to yourself maybe today I won't walk into a room with an harmed gunman or maybe I won't follow a sex trafficker to see what I can find?"
"Honestly? No I don't." She told him.
"So if I know that, then how am I supposed to trust that every day when you go to work, you're going to come home that night and be with your family?"
Liv let out a long sigh, taking a sip from her own glass filled with water. "I know it's hard for you to understand and I also know that it will always be something we probably won't ever see eye to eye on, but this job is more than my job. For almost fifteen years, I had nothing else. Instead of having someone to come home to, I had something to leave for every morning or every late night or really early morning. I didn't have a husband, or a son and daughter; all I had were the victims and the perps I spent my days with. For such a long time coming home meant nothing but sleeping and eating to me. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I'm still in that mindset; I still have moments where the only thing I can think about is getting justice, no matter how it has to happen. Then when I walk through that front door at night, I realize that justice is my day job and you and the kids are my life and I have to remind myself that work stays at work now, that I get to be a wife and a mom without having to sacrifice everything I have worked for at SVU. But I'm still working on it, I have been working on it since the moment that Noah came home with me and I will probably be working on it until the kids have graduated college. But I promise you it doesn't mean that you all aren't the biggest part of my world, because you are."
"You're right Liv, I don't get all of your side of the job and I'm not the one who has to try and catch these guys, all I have to do is grind them down on the witness stand. And I'm sorry for the way I've reacted; I just see you doing everything and I know that you're trained and that you know what you're doing, but I just can't stand the thought of those two sleeping kids in there waking up one day to something horrible having happened to you… I don't want to wake up one morning to find out you never came home." He stared into his glass, swishing the liquid around, trying to avoid showing his wife any of the emotion that had been evident in his voice.
She laid a gentle hand on his knee, making him finally turn to look at her. "I love you and those kids too much to not come home."
Rafael opened his mouth, ready to continue their conversation when a wail came from the direction of the kids' rooms. They both knew immediately that it was Raegan. Liv got up and retrieved her daughter, who was beyond unhappy.
"Sweet girl, does your head hurt?" She snuggled against her mama, the tears still falling down her face; Olivia took that as a yes. "Rafi, can you get her a few crackers so that we can give her that antiviral and some Tylenol?"
The dad took care of his duties and came back with a small bowl of goldfish and a sippy cup filled with some warm milk. "Here you go, baby."
Raegan had calmed down and was now slowly eating her cracker, snuggled up against Liv. The mom ran her fingers through the little girl's soft, brown locks.
"Are you ready to do all of this again?"
The question from Rafael caught her off guard. She thought for a moment, looking down at her daughter, inhaling the sweet scent of baby shampoo and lotion, and she thought about her brother, who was sleeping down the hall, and couldn't help but smile just at the thought of hearing him say mama and being so excited to see her every morning and night. "At first I wasn't so sure and to be honest, I'm still a little overwhelmed by the thought, but every time I look at her and at Noah, I get a little excited to do it all over again, to have another little one in the house. And this will be the first time I get to bring home an actual newborn."
"The first time we get to bring home a newborn." Rafael smirked.
The parents sat for a while longer, watching Raegan finish her snack and fighting her a bit to get her to take the medicine she needed to. When that task was finished, Rafael headed to bed and Olivia went to put Raegan back down. She went quite easily for the little girl who hated bedtime. But even after she was fast asleep, lying on her belly with her extremities spread out as far as they could, a position that always made her mama laugh, Liv stayed for a few minutes just watching her sleep. When she was sure that her daughter would be fine, she moved on to Noah, who was fast asleep, stuffed turtle help closely.
"Are they both okay?" Rafael asked Liv as she walked into their bedroom.
She nodded with a yawn. "They're both fast asleep and I would like to join them."
The couple got into bed. Rafael turned to look at his wife, who was lying on her back. "What do you think it is?" His hand had carefully and gently found its way to Olivia's small bump.
She set her own hand on top of his. "I don't know. Noah is pretty dead set on a brother, but I wouldn't mind another little girl."
"Mhhmm… I'm not sure I like the idea of being outnumbered by you girls. Noah and I would have a lot of work cut out for us."
"And Raegan and I wouldn't if we have another boy?" Liv chuckled, picturing Rafael playing with his two sons, years from now, kicking the soccer ball, teaching them about baseball. Although, if she was being honest with herself, she saw Raegan joining right along with them; that girl was going to need a sport with the energy she had.
"I'm pretty sure that you and miss sass can handle three boys, better than Noah and I could handle three girls." Both parents were laughing now, picturing what it would be like with three kids.
"I have to tell you, I'm a little worried about that girl and a baby. We may have to invest in some rubber mats and bubble wrap just in case she thinks it's one of her dolls."
There was silence for a moment. Rafael stared at Liv's growing tummy, as his wife watched him. It was all a little surreal yet, even if they had just talked about it like it was the most normal thing they had done.
"You know we're going to be just fine, right?"
Olivia looked up at her husband, their eyes met for a moment. "I know." She kissed him before they finally let the exhaustion of the day take over, both of them sleeping soundly in each other's arms.
* Oh the fluff! So much fluff, but we all love it don't we? (Ha!) So Raegan is okay and it seems that Liv and Rafi are as well. Now I think it's about time Sergeant Benson tells the rest of her team about baby #3. *