Elizabeth stalled in the corridor. She wasn't sure she was ready to hear anything proposed by Chaya and she was certain she wasn't ready again to face the sight of both John Sheppard's. As much joy as she felt when she was beamed aboard the Daedalus, she'd immediately experienced a great sense of loss. Her relationship with John would never again be so simple, so pure. Her relationship with Sheppard, she thought inwardly cursing Carter for her carless separation of the two men. She was almost jealous that she couldn't do the same.
She was painfully aware it was just two weeks ago in John's time that she'd fled his bed just as dawn was breaking. Two weeks. If she were in his shoes…She shuddered at the thought. They would not survive this. Atlantis might not survive this. Already her focus had fractured and the more she tried to think of the city, put the city before herself, the more her heart pushed John Sheppard to the front of her mind.
She couldn't deny she was angry. Angry at herself for faltering, for turning to him when she was weak. Angry at the fates for imposing this upon them. It didn't seem fair that John Sheppard be punished because she had dared to want more. It didn't seem right how her heart was torn, how she unwillingly responded when she looked into "John's" eyes. Beneath his pain, she could not mistake the love she found there.
"Elizabeth, are you ready?"
Elizabeth turned to find Carter had arrived at her side, ready to enter for the briefing. Elizabeth slowly nodded, knowing she wasn't ready at all. They entered the room and found Teyla, Ronin and Lorne already seated. Only the two John Sheppard's were still on their feet. One stood on each side of the doorway. Elizabeth slowly looked from one to the other. She saw the muscles on the man to the left grow rigid with tension. To the right, she saw other man's eyes soften as he watched her. She instinctively moved towards his side.
Carter cleared her throat. "I realize this is going to be harder than I'd hoped when I asked you two to make this work. We will figure something else out with the names, but until then, humor me. The staff are tied in knots trying to figure out who is who." She walked up to John and replaced his name tag with a newly stitched official velcro name tag that read John. She placed one stitched with Sheppard on the man at Elizabeth's side. "Now, if you'll all be seated I will begin."
Several minutes later, Carter had finished laying out Chaya's proposal and had paused awaiting responses. Elizabeth found herself following Carter's eyes around the room surveying the faces of those in attendance. Each person was nodding in silent agreement, including both John Sheppards. Their eyes were firmly focused on Elizabeth, clearly anticipating her response.
Elizabeth stood, inadvertently knocking her chair to the floor in the process. "You can't be seriously considering this. Rodney blew up a solar system the last time he used that technology."
"Well, that's the entire point this time. The solar system Chaya identified is uninhabited and has a star within a few years of definite supernova. Our scientists have confirmed this stars density is over two solar masses. When its core collapses, a black hole will form. This solar system will be lost eventually regardless." Carter said.
Elizabeth moved from behind the table towards Carter. "Our scientists confirmed? Where is Rodney, anyway? I can't imagine why he wouldn't want to tell me this."
Before Carter could answer, Sheppard was on his feet. "Can McKay do it? Can he recreate Project Arcturus?"
"We have all the data, all the research. It can be done." Carter responded, carefully watching Elizabeth's response.
"No." Elizabeth managed to hiss through her clenched teeth. It was all she could muster through her anger.
"When we will we get a chance like this again, Elizabeth? We have help this time, how long do they have until the other Ascended beings notice? You know what will happen to Chaya and Teer? Those working with them?" John rose to his feet.
"What about what will happen to us? I shouldn't have to remind you that Ascended beings are not perfect. It was the Ancients themselves we have to thank for the Wraith and the Asurans. Their mistakes. Their experiment in the Doranda outpost. Why are you so quick to put our trust in them now?" Elizabeth started pacing.
"Our only other option is to run, Elizabeth. Earth, ascension, revenge, hunger, these are all very motivational things. They won't stop coming for us. The Wraith alone outnumber us, their technology defeated the Ancients 10,000 years ago. Where does that leave us today? Tomorrow? We have no future. Earth has no future if we can't stop them." John said moving intently towards Elizabeth.
"So we're back to that are we? Tired of sitting around waiting for them to show up, ready to strike first. That's certainly worked well for us in the past." John was too close for her to miss the visible wince in his eyes. An audible gasp from the back of the room reminded her of the other's presence. She turned back towards Sheppard. She could see the anguish still hanging in his eyes from her remarks.
"Elizabeth." Her name emerged almost painfully from Sheppard's lips.
"What? Don't you dare even pretend that you disagree with anything he said. I know what you think, staying silent won't help us here."
"It's not like I could get a word in between you and motor mouth there!"
"John!" Elizabeth refused to address him as Sheppard, even when she was angry.
"Look. If Chaya and Teer weren't involved, if the Dorandan research wasn't involved, if it were five years from now and the star was ready to go supernova all on its own, what would you do? A distress signal will bring every Asuran and Wraith vessel in the universe chasing us right into this trap. We could end this all." Sheppard's voice was quieter now as he moved closer.
Elizabeth walked towards the others still seated at the table. Her voice emerged calm and even, belying the turmoil boiling inside. "I always believed our mission here was about exploration, discovery. Believed Earth's salvation would be in the knowledge and technology we could pass on. I still believe our survival to learn more another day is Earth's best hope."
Elizabeth's eyes closed and she allowed her hands to rub over her stomach. The baby had begun kicking and rolling furiously, responding to the angry voices of its mother and both fathers. But her flash of anger had already run its course. She tried to suppress the growing waves of fear that took its place and ignore the bitter taste of disappointment she always felt when John sided against her. She opened her eyes and turned.
She could feel everyone's eyes following her. She didn't dare raise her own to meet a single stare. She strode between the two John Sheppards and paused in the doorway, not looking back. "I don't know why we even bother pretending anymore. It doesn't matter what I think. It never did."
Elizabeth walked out the door before anyone could respond. "Colonel Carter, a word?" She called out as she exited the room.